Chief Chainsaw Officer (@Hispeedlowdrug) / X

Chief Chainsaw Officer

16.8K posts

Chief Chainsaw Officer

@Hispeedlowdrug

Lightly brain damaged 6ft 2in white trash polymath Founder/CO - Kampfgruppe Fluffernutter

The Berkshires

Joined July 2022

Pinned
Chief Chainsaw Officer
@Hispeedlowdrug
Jan 30, 2024
I've heard all these stories about people with twitter connections meeting IRL and forming beautiful friendships and relationships. I would like that. I'm a mid 40's handyman with a strange bio and a young son in Western MA. Interested in schizo bros and cute single mothers.
58K
Chief Chainsaw Officer
@Hispeedlowdrug
Feb 16, 2025
My rooster died in glorious single combat at the door of the coop, protecting the flock from a red tailed hawk. He was a noisy pain in the ass, but his did us all proud in the end.
15M
Chief Chainsaw Officer
@Hispeedlowdrug
Jun 23, 2024
Watching this kind frenetically edited, low-information high-stimulation stuff irritates me to no end. Compare to old PBS cooking shows, which were edited with long slow shots to teach rather than dazzle. This guy isn't a food artist, he's a maker of strobing algorithm bait.
Ase Deliri
@AhsanDeliri
Jun 22, 2024
There are some truly talent artists walking around. For all the negatives of social media, at least we get to see these.
00:00
2.3M
Chief Chainsaw Officer
@Hispeedlowdrug
Feb 16, 2025
Replying to @Hispeedlowdrug
I don't name my chickens, because I have a bunch and they tend to die in all sorts of ridiculous chicken situations, but this guy was informally known as Big Red, because he was big and red.
586K
Chief Chainsaw Officer
@Hispeedlowdrug
Nov 19, 2024
The nuts n bolts section of any good hardware store is a profound testament to the honesty and decency of America's blue collar and diy types. Really makes me happy to go spend 30 mins rummaging around in one of these. A humble little corner of life that remains high trust.
790K
Chief Chainsaw Officer
@Hispeedlowdrug
Feb 16, 2025
Replying to @Hispeedlowdrug
Rooster was all messed up and matted with blood, and died shortly after. I took the picture of the doorway because I thought it was quite a poignant little scene of the feather explosion right on the threshold, but nothing inside.
555K
Chief Chainsaw Officer
@Hispeedlowdrug
Feb 16, 2025
Replying to @mmeJen
I have to admire his determination to defend his ladies.
439K
Chief Chainsaw Officer
@Hispeedlowdrug
Feb 16, 2025
Replying to @Hispeedlowdrug
Since people are asking for more details: I was alerted that some serious shit's happening by squawking crows and chicken noises. Looking out the window, I saw a big flopping tangle of wings indicating a big fight was going down. I got boots + jacket on and grabbed a shovel.
567K
Chief Chainsaw Officer
@Hispeedlowdrug
Feb 8, 2024
Opened the basement door and unexpectedly saw this fine example of rabid attention to detail and workman's pride. I rather doubt anyone has ever appreciated this outside of a few random trades guys. Not enough room in the cramped space to take a better picture.
882K
Chief Chainsaw Officer
@Hispeedlowdrug
Feb 16, 2025
Replying to @Hispeedlowdrug
About halfway out to the barn the hawk took off and flew away, and the noble rooster was making distress noises and flopping around. The fight lasted at least a minute, and by the feathers you could see that the hawk had attacked a hen, but then the rooster took over.
562K
Chief Chainsaw Officer
@Hispeedlowdrug
Dec 1, 2024
By monitoring the dating apps, I can detect the holidays by the the surge of big city dwelling single wimmin returning to their ancestral lands to sneer at their relatives. This results in a peek into what such types are up to in the city. This year, app trends in that demo are:
645K
Chief Chainsaw Officer
@Hispeedlowdrug
Feb 16, 2025
Replying to @NigelBest5
Yeah this guy was a handsome Rhode Island Red that tractor supply sold me as a sexed hen of a different breed. He ate a lot, and crowed a lot, but he did his rooster-y job in the end. I'll pour one out for my brave homie, Mr Red.
347K
Chief Chainsaw Officer
@Hispeedlowdrug
Sep 4, 2024
Without any irony or snark, this is a horrible tragedy. A strange thing about dating in middle age is how you have to repeatedly talk of and delicately skirt around life's worst tragedies. You are dating because your spouse DIED, or because your family was DESTROYED. Not fun.
185K
Chief Chainsaw Officer
@Hispeedlowdrug
Feb 16, 2025
Replying to @HomesteadPrac
🫡😢
460K