Pinned
One day I hope to make jokes on this website again, but it’s been a weird couple of months
erin chack
10.1K posts
erin chack
@ErinChack
cowabunga
- you're never too old to achieve your dreams. prince charles is 73 and he just got his first job.
- america is wrong about everything except fahrenheit. farenheit is the correct way to measure temperature. fahrenheit is like "man, it's so hot out. it's gotta be like.......100 hots."
- oh so they're just GIVING the throne to charles????? this is nepotism at its finest
- once again it is 4pm, too early for a beer, too late for a coffee, and so i find myself roaming the streets desperate to spend $8 on a mysterious third beverage
- diet coke may cause cancer? you mean the mysteriously sweet yet calorie-free, tar-black beverage with flavors not based in nature isn't...organic
- [my first day in a drug cartel] kingpin: where's the coke me: is pepsi ok? hehe [later] police: this is the most bullet holes we've ever seen in a single body
- google maps should not count towards my screen time. i’m not addicted to my phone im disoriented
- before washing my hair: the world is bad and i am bad after washing my hair: there is poetry everywhere, in the cracks of the sidewalk, in the great ocean of the sky. here, child. have $20 from my wallet.
- to make a tv show you need one banana-shaped man and one-orange shaped man. let me explain
- [Me drunk in the stands at the olympics heckling my husband who is a curler] oh LOOK who finally learned how to use a friCKIN BROOM. real nice doug where was this whEN YOU SPILLED FUNIONS IN THE DEN doug
- me at 26: i am a hideous troll me at 28: *looking at a picture of myself at 26* wow what beauty i once possessed but i wasted it because now i am a hideous troll me at 30: *looking at a picture of myself at 28* guys, you're not gonna believe this,
- whoever named the grapefruit when there was already a fruit named grape.......incompetent legend. i wish we could hang out
