user avatar
Eden Dranger
@Eden_Eats
short, millennial, TV and screenwriter, yente.
Los Angeles
edendranger.substack.com
Joined December 2009
598
Following
80.3K
Followers
Posts
  • user avatar
    Eden Dranger
    @Eden_Eats
    Mar 26, 2022
    8 years ago, a wrong number texted me and we just played along. We met up to grab a drink and fell in love. After dating for 2 years, we moved in together. One day, I came home to a beautiful bouquet of flowers and him on the bed fucking my Pilates instructor. This isn't us.
  • user avatar
    Eden Dranger
    @Eden_Eats
    Oct 7, 2025
    I promise you, any concern or question you may have is easily CORRECTLY answered on Reddit from a post from like 2018.
    user avatar
    unusual_whales
    @unusual_whales
    Oct 7, 2025
    ChatGPT has hit 800 million weekly active users.
    5.1M
  • user avatar
    Eden Dranger
    @Eden_Eats
    Dec 29, 2019
    Reminders for 2020: -wear sunscreen -pee after sex -VOTE! -reverse racism isnโ€™t real -$18 salads arenโ€™t worth it -expensive toilet paper IS worth it -loneliness is never a good reason to be in a relationship -you have a really nice butt
  • user avatar
    Eden Dranger
    @Eden_Eats
    Jul 10, 2018
    Neat how we ban plastic straws before assault rifles.
  • user avatar
    Eden Dranger
    @Eden_Eats
    Jul 3, 2024
    when we die we should all get a list of people who had crushes on us.
    3.1M
  • user avatar
    Eden Dranger
    @Eden_Eats
    Aug 3, 2019
    Romaine lettuce: killed 5 people in 2 years and they pulled it from every grocery store across the country. Guns: there's been 248 mass shootings in 2019 so far and you can still get a gun at Wal Mart.
  • user avatar
    Eden Dranger
    @Eden_Eats
    Aug 11, 2020
    I hate this pandemic, if I wanted to waste my early 30s I would have gotten married and had kids.
  • user avatar
    Eden Dranger
    @Eden_Eats
    Apr 11, 2025
    Just to add to Walton Goggins discourse, when I wrote on a sitcom he starred in, sometimes heโ€™d pop into the writers room like this:
    2.9M
  • user avatar
    Eden Dranger
    @Eden_Eats
    Jun 29, 2024
    HBO login: password must contain at least 8 characters, a number, an emoji, your college roommate's maiden name, and a hieroglyph. ATM: just any 4 numbers.
    1.9M
  • user avatar
    Eden Dranger
    @Eden_Eats
    Mar 29, 2022
    Hear me out: A separate line at coffee shops for people who know exactly what they want.
  • user avatar
    Eden Dranger
    @Eden_Eats
    Mar 11, 2020
    Biden wasnโ€™t my first, second, third, or fourth choice. But I will vote so fucking hard for him because even gum stuck to a shoe is better than the current monster we have in The White House.
  • user avatar
    Eden Dranger
    @Eden_Eats
    Jun 16, 2019
    I know we all think our dad was the coolest, but my dad was the engineer behind the inflatable flailing tube man. I miss him so much but Iโ€™m reminded of him every time I pass by a car dealership. He was the coolest.
  • user avatar
    Eden Dranger
    @Eden_Eats
    Apr 8, 2020
    Before you Biden haters abstain from voting this year or vote for a third party, remember youโ€™re not voting for Biden. Youโ€™re voting for Ruth Bader Ginsburgโ€™s replacement.
  • user avatar
    Eden Dranger
    @Eden_Eats
    Apr 16, 2021
    I donโ€™t know whatโ€™s happening here but I feel like you guys should see it. x.com/AnimalsWorId/sโ€ฆ