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the idea that my tweets would make even one person's day a little easier or make them smile during a rough time pisses me off so bad
dustin Couch
317 posts
- nasa employee: oh hey u guys are back early astronaut: moon's haunted nasa employee: what? astronaut: *loading a pistol and getting back on the rocket-ship* moon's haunted
- the weirdest thing that happened to me this month was when a couple texted me selfies every night at exactly 3:29 AM
- why was D.A.R.E an elementary school program. i didn't have access to weed in the 5th grade. i didn't know where it was. i still don't know. where is it
- one time i shut myself in my room and listened to linkin park while crying because a girl told me she wouldn't be able to go to with me to the 2005 nickelodeon's kids choice awards if i were to hypothetically win tickets in a sweepstakes i saw in a commercial but never entered
- the weirdest thing that happened to me this month was when i got sent a counterfeit pizza hut coupon
- waiter: anything to drink? JK Rowling: the sorting hat can fuck but chooses not to
- doctor: i'm afraid i have some bad news me: better than having fox news ;) doctor: hahahaha :) me: i'll be here all week haha :) doctor: haha give or take
- [before christian rock was invented] *In mosh pit* wish i could do this for the lord
