Tim Dillard
4,049 posts
Tim Dillard
@DimTillard
Christian • Husband • Father • Former Occasional Baseball Player • Current Sometime Broadcaster?
- Teammate: “You see Fernando Tatis Jr.’s 3-0 grand slam?” Me: “Saw it on the twitter.” Teammate: “Man that guy can crush!” Me: “Yeah, I faced his dad in back in 2008... he could crush too.” Teammate: “His dad played pro ball?” Me: “Yep.” Teammate: “What’s his dad’s name?”
- ULTRABREAKING NEWS: After 18 seasons... I’m retiring from baseball.
- BREAKING: Side-hander Tim Dillard & the Texas Rangers avoid Minor League arbitration with a 1 year contract, that includes... free coffee in the clubhouse, name on jersey must be spelled right, a biweekly $15 Taco Bell gift card, and exclusive access to ibuprofen per source.
- Adrian Beltre: “Hey I’m Adrian.” Me: “Hi Adrian Beltre... I’m Tim.” Adrian Beltre: “Ah man I know who you are!” Me: “Really Adrian Beltre!?” Adrian Beltre: “Yeah I’ve seen your videos... hilarious!” Me: “Wow... that’s awesome Adrian Beltre!”
- Take it from me, Albert Pujols: the first designation for assignment is the hardest... then you get used to it.
- This is officially the deepest I’ve ever gone into a season with a zero ERA.
- UPS Man: “Hi, how’s it going?” Me: “Good man, how about yourself?” UPS Man: “I’m good. Hey, are you Tim?” Me: “Yep.” UPS Man: “You’re... Tim Dillard?” Me: “Yeah that’s me... why? Have you a... have you heard of me?” UPS Man: “What? No no... it’s just on this shipping label”
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