Demetri Martin ([email protected])
2,112 posts
Kind of a dick move toward trees.
- Don't forget to turn your clocks back an hour tonight if you want them to be set to the wrong time.
- Hey. NEW STANDUP SPECIAL - August 10
00:00 - "I'm going to make you a sandwich" doesn't sound threatening unless the person who said it is a wizard.
- Optimist: The glass is half full. Pessimist: The glass is half empty. Publicist: The glass looks amazing. Everyone loved it. Really great.
- Q is for apple O is for cantaloupe D is for orange slice P is for half-eaten lollipop
- Don't be so quick to judge others. Take your time and really get into it.
- In honor of Palindrome Week here is a 500-word palindrome from my first book, This Is A Book By Demetri Martin.
- r ˚ º ® (Young r thinking about itself as an adult.)
- Sex is the leading cause of people.
