yesterday i was at a party and there was some loser in a sweater that just said “hentai” across the front. i said “your shirt sucks” as i drunkenly walked by him and without skipping a beat he turned to his friend and went “bro said my shirt sucks” like that one webcomic irl
i told the band that if we made 400 dollars in a single night on tour i would take them to red lobster (their idea, not mine). i figured that was a ludicrous amount of money and i wouldn’t have to eat that. night one we made 403
SEINFELD: i was talking to this girl, and she told me she was seventeen.
kramer nods
SEINFELD: so i checked her ID
KRAMER: of course. have to be sure these days.
SEINFELD: 1995!
KRAMER: an age regressor!
SEINFELD: an age regressor! i walked right out of that bar
THIS PRIDE WE’RE CELEBRATING:
trans guys who say smol bean in 2025
bisexual het couples
dudes who wear sunglasses
trans women with atrophy
trans women with many trophies
theymabs
straight girls who are single