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It should be illegal to try to move your cat out of frame during a Zoom meeting
dave wagner
22.1K posts
dave wagner
@Dbwagner104
two things make me happy and two things only: turgid political theory and surly cats
всё идёт по плану
- Sandal was upset at the vet yesterday, because nothing bad has ever happened to him so he thinks being weighed is a war crime, and the technician kept trying to soothe him by saying " awww, pobrecita chancleta" (literally, "poor little flip-flop"). he's never living this down
- my cat has no responsibilities, but all day he walks around the house from room to room with this utter sense of purpose, as if he has an endless to-do list of tasks no one asked for. just this weird small furry dude going about his little cat errands.
- i saw "independence day" in the theater in 1996, and friends, i will never forget the way the entire audience literally and ecstatically CHEERED when the dog escaped from the explosion. that dog could have won an election for president with like 95% of the vote in july, 1996.
- i went to a cat cafe today and all the cats were existing peacefully in their cozy cat utopia except for one ridiculous orange boy who made it his mission to fling his whole body at every other cat who was receiving any attention at all and i was like, yup, on brand
- one time a vet tried to give Sandal a shot. Sandal escaped from the large tech holding him, & then proceeded to run into and OCCUPY the clinic's break room. he refused to let anyone in until i drove from work to get him. the tech simply shook his head & said, "he's very strong."
- My cat is always his own best advocate. One time, mere minutes after he had just eaten, this guy meowed 147 times in one hour (i counted) before we gave up and just gave him more food. I admire his persistence, even as it chips away at my will to live.
- orange cats are great, but it is important that we all recognize that every one of them would gleefully recline their seat on an airplane all the way back if they could, without feeling bad about it at all
- The University of Michigan has instituted a cruel policy forcing students who file complaints of sexual assault to be cross-examined by the alleged perpetrators of the crime. In person. This policy is absurd and traumatizing. It will only deter survivors from making reports.
- if you're playing with a cat correctly, you'll be working roughly 900 times harder than the cat. 99% of the effort must be yours. playing with cats is not about exercise, it's about drama. And cats are harsh critics. they need to BELIEVE that plush banana is afraid for its life.
- every night, Sandal gets in bed first and does this. literally the most intrusive manner in which he could choose to sleep on our bed with us. i'm being trolled by an 18-pound furry orange dude on a nightly basis and i'm helpless to stop him because he's too adorable.
- do not touch the paw. you think he wants you to touch the paw. his face is, after all, quite earnest. you are mistaken. he's tricking you. this is sophisticated cat stuff. seriously, don't buy the ticket to this ride. you're going to try to touch the paw, aren't you
- why does cat food cost money? makes no sense. he doesn't have any money. no one will pay him. he doesn't even know how to open a bank account. he has no marketable skills. he only knows how to sleep and eat and play. stop asking him for money.
- a stray cat often comes to our screen door and hisses at Sandal. but she's not mean: she's scared. she's had a tough life and Sandal is big. but yesterday, Sandal saw through it. he ignored the hissing. he sat there until they were friends. this orange boy will save the world.
