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dave horwitz🪣
16.4K posts
dave horwitz🪣
@Dave_Horwitz
I'm a tv writer but what I really want to do is direct (traffic). Verified Bucket account (🪣) 4/2/23
- Saw Final Destination tonight. The girl next to me was J’ing her bf off. His popcorn was on his lap. The paper was rustling back and forth every few seconds. He was grabbing the headrest and going unnghhh. Guys the movie came out three days ago. Ya gotta wait longer than that!
- What if we kissed in the brief window between the decline of omicron and the rise of the next super variant
- time to play everyone's favorite game show Covid Or Slept With The Heat On And Now Your Throat Is Dry
- Quarantine time limit lowered to 30 minutes in your car on the way to work
- a sitcom about a friend group where not everyone is in every episode because they have other friends they like to hang out with sometimes
- Fellas is it gay to be desired
- cdc says you can now die 5 days after watching the tape from the ring instead of 7
- My friend is going on a 1st date tonight with a girl he's been talking to on Tinder. They're going to park next to each other at McDonald's and talk with the windows cracked while eating their own individual orders of fries. How's that for romance and longing, JANE AUSTEN?
- The Postal Service does not exist to turn a profit it exists to remind us that the freckles in our eyes are mirror images and when we kiss they're perfectly aligned.
- Zero normal men refer to women as females
- Trader Joe’s? You mean the peanut butter cup store?
- genuinely can't think of a greener flag
- Replying to @Dave_HorwitzTheatrically released movies have a 3 week no JO window. After that it’s fair game but you better have an empty row!