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Dan Amira
@DanAmira
Head writer, Daily Show. RT = Randy Travis. All opinions expressed here reflect the views of Randy Travis. [email protected]
nyc
Joined June 2009
Posts
  • Pinned
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    This is a piece I wrote for the New Yorker about all the sick fucks who can’t stop thinking about the Roman Empire
    8:30 a.m.—I hop on the L train for my commute to work. 8:32 a.m.—It occurs to me that if the L were a subway in the Roman Empire it would be called the 50 train. I chuckle. nyer.cm/BaIMpVz
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    Weird that Dr. Fauci has worked under 6 presidents and has never needed a security detail before
    Once an avid runner, Dr. Anthony Fauci, now 79, power walks. Since receiving death threats, he is now accompanied by a security detail. cbsn.ws/37kcHA2
    00:00
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    Can’t believe the creators of the monster have lost control of the monster, is there any precedent for this in books or film
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    REAL men don’t need a MASK when we go to the store because we’re not SCARED. All we need is an ASSAULT RIFLE and maybe a ROCKET LAUNCHER in case the YOGURT tries anything STUPID
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    I used to think the government was bad, but now I think it is good
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    This is officially the whitest trial of all time
    Gwyneth Paltrow ski crash victim can’t enjoy wine tastings due to injuries, expert says trib.al/qf1WVBQ
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    I decided today that I’m going to see if I can find the restaurant with the highest number of brothers. I am on strike and have nothing better to do with my time. Please join me.
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    JORAH: I'll lead the first charge. BRIENNE: I'll command the left flank. GREY WORM: The Unsullied shall protect the gate. BRAN: How cool would it be to fly around and just do like, general bird stuff
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    Trump is stone cold sober but all his ideas sound like something you come up with when you’re super high: - we should just nuke the hurricanes - how much would it cost to buy Greenland - hear me out: SPACE FORCE - fuck it let’s order 600 burgers
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    I swear if Trump randomly, like, tripped on a squirrel or something we'd find an old tweet of his saying only fat losers trip on squirrels
    The President must get Congressional approval before attacking Syria-big mistake if he does not!
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    In 1980 Trump demolished two historic sculptures bc removing them intact would have delayed construction of Trump Tower by a week and a half
    ...the beauty that is being taken out of our cities, towns and parks will be greatly missed and never able to be comparably replaced!
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    did anyone do this yet
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    Kamala is absolutely a DEI hire: -Democrat who -Exists -In the context of all in which she lives and what came before her
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    If you ever doubt that you can change your path in life, just remember that this person went on to become the Senate's top defender of hedge funders and private equity #inspiring #inspiration