Dalton Kates (@Dalton

Dalton Kates

22.8K posts

Dalton Kates

@Dalton_Kates

Retired Sports Bettor

Scottsdale, AZ

stealinglines.substack.com

Joined February 2018

Pinned
Dalton Kates
@Dalton_Kates
Sep 7, 2024
As a fantasy football punishment my friend has to stay at a bar that opens at 6 AM and doesn’t close until 2 AM For every drink he has during his stay, 30 minutes gets taken off the total time he can leave. Stay tuned for live updates throughout the day
31M
Dalton Kates
@Dalton_Kates
Sep 7, 2024
A legendary day for a legendary man We’re proud of you Tyler PS don’t lose our fantasy league next year
1.6M
Dalton Kates
@Dalton_Kates
Sep 7, 2024
Replying to @Dalton_Kates
Word on the street is he brang his laptop to do fantasy research to make sure this doesn’t happen again
1.3M
Dalton Kates
@Dalton_Kates
Sep 7, 2024
Replying to @Dalton_Kates
Mans isn’t prepared for the marathon
1.5M
Dalton Kates
@Dalton_Kates
Mar 17, 2025
March Madness is the best time of the year There's one simple hack you aren't thinking about that 88% of Final Four teams have in common dating back to 2002:
3.4M
Dalton Kates
@Dalton_Kates
Sep 7, 2024
Replying to @Dalton_Kates
Tyler’s total stats for the day: 3 mimosas 5 seltzers 14 shots 24 cups of water (!!) Half a pint of pedialyte 3 egg McMuffins 1 cheeseburger Half a hotdog 3 bites of a burrito 1 time kicked out 9.5 hours at the bar 1 fantasy football league lost Legend
369K
Dalton Kates
@Dalton_Kates
Sep 7, 2024
Replying to @Dalton_Kates
Tyler is on a legendary run right now Current stats: 5 seltzers 3 mimosas 6 shots 10 cups of water drank 2 Egg McMuffins downed Three medium sized bites of a breakfast burrito Current local time: 11:35 AM Current leave time: 7:00 PM
868K
Dalton Kates
@Dalton_Kates
Sep 7, 2024
Replying to @Dalton_Kates
Sideline interview with our star Tyler: “I’m fucked up.” It seems the post halftime strategy is going to include a lot of water
00:00
992K
Dalton Kates
@Dalton_Kates
Dec 15, 2023
Need a live look in at this lady rn
702K
Dalton Kates
@Dalton_Kates
Sep 7, 2024
Replying to @Dalton_Kates
A quick message to the fans “I hope you are all as drunk as I am”
00:00
860K
Dalton Kates
@Dalton_Kates
Sep 7, 2024
Replying to @Dalton_Kates
Tyler’s coach (bartender) just said: “hurry and finish this drink, you’re losing pace” He’s now completed 8 drinks with a wild variety of alcohol 2 seltzers 2 mimosas 4 shots (three different kinds) Current local time: 8:56 AM Current leave time: 10:00 PM
1.1M
Dalton Kates
@Dalton_Kates
Sep 7, 2024
Replying to @Dalton_Kates
Tyler is now adding a new way to drink out of a cup A true innovator in the space He has called a timeout and is currently in a pedialyte/cheeseburger phase
731K
Dalton Kates
@Dalton_Kates
Sep 7, 2024
Replying to @Dalton_Kates
“Tyler you haven’t had a drink in front of you in almost 45 minutes” *proceeds to order a mimosa and chug the entire thing* What an absolute legend
1M
Dalton Kates
@Dalton_Kates
Sep 7, 2024
Replying to @Dalton_Kates
Tyler made friends and they bought him a fireball shot He only said one word after this: “Fuck” Pray for this man Current leave time: 10:30 PM
1.1M