Derek Kagemann (@DKagemann) / X

Derek Kagemann

44.2K posts

Derek Kagemann

@DKagemann

I write about post-apocalyptic nursing homes when I'm not busy with my wife and 2.0 children. Former baby, currently an adult. Rock over London, Rock on Chicago

Ascendo Tuum

kagemann.wordpress.com

Joined August 2019

Pinned
Derek Kagemann
@DKagemann
Feb 24
ROBOCOP 4: OCP OFFICER EXCHANGE When Officer Malika Malone is reassigned from the rough streets of Detroit to the backwoods of Possum Creek, she doesn't think her life could get any crazier. Until she meets her new partner, Bubba Murphy, the Robocop. Criminals, ya'll cooked!
725
Derek Kagemann
@DKagemann
Nov 10, 2023
What if instead of runes and sigil, wizards were just covered in metal band logos.
25K
Derek Kagemann
@DKagemann
Oct 31, 2022
Replying to @guyschultz and @JosiahHawthorne
120 people die every minute. Our Christian ancestors built ossuaries from their bones. Memento mori has been part of our culture since antiquity.
Derek Kagemann
@DKagemann
Nov 22, 2023
"Just One Orc," the D&D module where you encounter a single orc and forty-seven empty rooms of introspection.
24K
Derek Kagemann
@DKagemann
Nov 3, 2019
Write what I know? The overweight man drank alcohol and despaired. He was bad at math and had to use the bathroom. Also, there was a dog somewhere. He didn't know for sure.
Derek Kagemann
@DKagemann
Nov 20, 2023
"Oh Great, I Get to Kill Rats," a D&D Adventure Module for level 1.
10K
Derek Kagemann
@DKagemann
May 25, 2023
Citing declining engagement with Gen X consumers, @Wizards_DnD announced plans to outsource an Advanced Dungeons & Dragons Revival line through Mattel. This new game will use 1st edition rules and be set in the Masters of the Universe world.
25K
Derek Kagemann
@DKagemann
Mar 10, 2023
These displays commemorate the origins of the daschund, which were bred to be dropped like bombs on enemy positions during WWI. German aircraft continued to deploy them during the earliest stages of WWII, but they have little military relevance today.
34K
Derek Kagemann
@DKagemann
Nov 20, 2023
Grandpa Got Lost in the Sewers Again, a D&D Adventure Module for levels 3 to 5.
10K
Derek Kagemann
@DKagemann
Jun 13, 2023
Having failed to turn the undead, Jeb pretended to have a gun.
9.2K
Derek Kagemann
@DKagemann
Sep 11, 2023
Player: I hit the goblin for 8 damage. DM: He laughs in your face. Player: Okay, well, I hit him again. This time for 9. DM: He smirks. Player: That should have killed him! DM: The goblin does not consent to damage. Player: Stop giving the monsters safety tools!
8.2K
Derek Kagemann
@DKagemann
Apr 11, 2023
Remember when D&D sucked and everyone made fun of us for playing it, so we had to befriend every dipshit who picked up the hobby out of pure necessity, many of whom became our lifelong friends? Can we call a meeting of the Greek Council or whatever and go back to that?
GIF
14K
Derek Kagemann
@DKagemann
Dec 5, 2023
Free sword, right?
5.8K
Derek Kagemann
@DKagemann
Jan 1, 2023
The "D20 are gatekeeping" argument reminds me of one method that inmates use in prisons where dice are prohibited.
8.6K