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Christina Cress
@CressNC
energy/utilities lawyer | in my pickleball era | weekend golfer | novice birder | dog person | tweets solely mine & never legal advice
Brunswick County, NC
Joined March 2020
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    Christina Cress
    @CressNC
    Dec 4, 2022
    I’m not sure who needs to hear this, but it’s a federal crime to cause or conspire to cause an interruption in electric service by intentionally damaging an energy facility. Each offense is punishable by up to 20 years in federal prison. See 18 U.S.C. 1366.
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    Christina Cress
    @CressNC
    Dec 7, 2022
    Y’all, this federal judge for the Eastern District of North Carolina was my criminal law professor in law school. I can’t breathe I’m laughing so hard.
    user avatar
    molly conger
    @socialistdogmom
    Dec 5, 2022
    Replying to @socialistdogmom
    ok never mind it was all worth it just to accidentally stumble across this exchange between a judge, a prosecutor, and a federal agent where only the judge knows who biggie smalls is
    MS. KOCHER: No further questions, your Honor. THE COURT: I've got a follow-up question about the Biggie Smalls' lyric. MS. KOCHER: About the what? I'm sorry. THE COURT: About the Biggie Smalls' lyric. I got seven Mack 11s, about eight 38s, nine 9s. That's a Biggie Smalls' lyric. Are we looking for those firearms? THE WITNESS: I don't know. I don't recognize that. THE COURT: This is in the Government's Exhibit 8 where it says, I've got seven Mack 11s, about eight 38s, nine 9s. That's a rap lyric. MS. KOCHER: I'm --
    THE COURT: The Court's independently aware of that. MS. KOCHER: And it's a what? I'm not understanding the words, sir. I apologize. THE COURT: So if you look on page 8 -- MS. KOCHER: Yes. THE COURT: -- Government's Exhibit 8, page 1 -- MS. KOCHER: Yes. THE COURT: -- where he says, I'll need a list of ammo to get. Then he says, I got seven Mack 11s, about eight 38s, nine 9s. I understand the rest. We're about to get 308 12 gauge pigeons. That's a genuine shopping list, but that to me seems like he's just tossing a Biggie Smalls' lyric into the chat. THE WITNESS: I don't recognize the lyrics is what I'm saying, sir. THE COURT: Okay. Yeah. Well, that is a Biggie Smalls' lyric.
    MS. KOCHER: I am still not understanding the word. I apologize. THE COURT: Biggie Smalls? Biggie Smalls is a dead rapper. MS. KOCHER: Oh. THE COURT: It's a lyric from a song by the dead rapper, Biggie Smalls. MS. KOCHER: Got it. THE COURT: There's a lot of other stuff going on here,
  • user avatar
    Christina Cress
    @CressNC
    May 3, 2022
    I honestly don't think there's ever been a worse day to follow 3,000 lawyers on Twitter.
  • user avatar
    Christina Cress
    @CressNC
    Aug 16, 2022
    Being a lawyer is basically just having at least one day a week like this for your entire career.
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    Christina Cress
    @CressNC
    Mar 10, 2024
    Lawyers, when they get to use "sic" in a filing quoting opposing counsel.
    GIF
    131K
  • user avatar
    Christina Cress
    @CressNC
    Oct 12, 2022
    Two attorneys with large Twitter followings announced today that they are taking a break from practicing for mental health reasons. 1/x
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    Christina Cress
    @CressNC
    Jan 6, 2023
    Tip for law students: when a former public official connects you with a local lawyer upon learning about your interest in a particular practice area, and you and that local lawyer make lunch plans, you should probably show up.
    205K
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    Christina Cress
    @CressNC
    Mar 5, 2022
    Woman attorney: Hey, Sarah! Would you mind printing this for me, please? Thank you so much! Male attorney: Print.
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    Christina Cress
    @CressNC
    Aug 28, 2021
    Obligatory “some personal news” preface: My firm voted to make me partner, effective Jan. 1, 2022. I’m thrilled! 🤗
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    Christina Cress
    @CressNC
    May 15, 2022
    Still aghast that a friend, who also is a lawyer, had the audacity to ask me to do some legal work “pro bono” for their well-to-do relative. My brother in Christ, it’s not pro bono if the beneficiary has the resources to pay; that’s just working for free. And the answer is no.
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    Christina Cress
    @CressNC
    Jan 30, 2023
    Like many attorneys, I go out of my way to avoid conflict in my personal life, in part because a lot of my work happens in adversarial settings so I want nothing but peace outside of work. So the fact that I set a hard boundary today is worth celebrating, imo.
    95K
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    Christina Cress
    @CressNC
    Dec 28, 2020
    What’s the worst unsolicited career advice you’ve received? I’ll start. Once I was told that the most successful lawyers work around the clock and don’t do things like “wasting weekends on binge-watching Netflix.”
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    Christina Cress
    @CressNC
    May 28, 2022
    Just completed the soul-crushing exercise of charting what my net worth would have been at this age had I not gone to law school. Until this student loan crisis is fixed, I can’t recommend in good conscience that anyone go to law school if they’re financing it with student loans.
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    Christina Cress
    @CressNC
    Jul 29, 2022
    My bro’s now-ex said Georgetown was her top choice law school & she didn’t know if my alma mater’s rank was good enough: UNC #23. I just learned she’s in the inaugural class @ an unaccredited law school. Look, I realize pettiness is a character flaw but that’s between me & God.