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Colleen
@Coll3enG
I’m Colleen from twitter
Born October 21
Joined July 2012
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    Taylor Swift fans are the modern day equivalent of those cults who would consistently have inaccurate rapture predictions like once a month
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    my grandma just asked me if i had a boyfriend and i was like “no” and she was like “well i went to a random funeral because i was bored and that’s how i met your grandfather” ??????
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    men will literally run for president instead of going to therapy
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    my friend got banned from this bar so she waited like a year and started going back everyday like nothing happened and the other day the bar tender looked at her and was like “you look so much like this crazy girl we had to ban a while back”
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    ER nurse just told me “just don’t pay your bill. I have a bill from a hospital I’ve just been ignoring for four years now”
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    my family is sending my 91 year old, legally blind, great uncle to europe alone for a vacation when i dead ass watched this man microwave his birthday cards four months ago
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    Was just petting my boyfriend’s dog and he said “I’m so glad you like her” and I was like “of course how could I not like her, she’s so cute” and my boyfriend was like “no I’m talking to my dog, it would be really awkward if my dog didn’t like you.”
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    if waffle house started serving alcohol they would become more powerful than amazon in roughly 6 weeks
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    when my ex boyfriend ghosted me my moms genuine advice to me was to post a picture as if we were still together, where he looked bad, so he would have to reach out to me so i would delete it
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    idk what white man needs to hear this but i promise you don’t actually have to play “devil’s advocate”
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    white boys be like “my dad didn’t buy me an audi i bought this MYSELF by WORKING at the job my dad got for me at the company he owns”
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    the only thing men collectively have is the audacity
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    my mom and I were driving and I decided to call my grandma and my grandma was like “hey sweetie I can’t talk right now, your mom’s at my door” and i was like “grandma I’m driving with my mom right now” and my grandma just said “oh darn you caught me, I just don’t want to talk”