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Cows are the only thing that can simultaneously annoy the ever loving shit out of me and bring me all the joy in the world at the same time
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Tim Hall
11.8K posts
Tim Hall
@BottomhandBlues
Just some guy that wears a cowboy hat and punches cows for a living. Eat more beef, ride good horses, and always take your hat off indoors.
Wyoming, USA
Joined March 2011
- To the gal who dumped me a few weeks ago because "The hassle of dating a rancher wasn't worth the time and effort" I've had 15 calves in the last 48 hours and you could've pet Every. Single. One.
- Hang. Him. In. The. Streets.
- This you?
Replying to @JoshDennyAnd spare me the “many women don’t know they’re pregnant for 6 weeks.” Whores. Only whores wouldn’t know for six weeks.Readers added contextSome women really do not discover their pregnancy early, and it has nothing at all to do with their sexual activity. healthline.com/health/pregnan… en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cryptic_p… cnn.com/2019/05/09/hea… - Replying to @uhparking and @UHoustonCall a tow truck and have them take the car to your house. Remove the windshield at your house and have a glass company install a new one. Tow bill should be about 60-80 bucks. New windshield should be about 150. Keep the schools device. Fuck em.
- Replying to @realbrockturner@BasRuttenMMA can we do a bully beat down and let you have 3 minutes in the ring with this guy? I'd love to see the damages
- By that logic I'm not drunk driving in Minnesota as long as I slammed those 18 beers on my own free will. Congratulations, you've just told millions of women that their choices negate their right to not be assaulted.Rape victims not "mentally incapacitated" if they got drunk on their own, Minnesota Supreme Court rules cbsn.ws/3fb6tqa
- The kid I went to school with, who cut off the head of a chicken and fucked the body, is in a happy relationship and expecting a child. Meanwhile I'm at the bar wondering how to read this gals signals... What kinda sick twisted shit is this?
- It's mine. No, it ain't brand new. No, it ain't a show truck. No, it ain't got the biggest sleeper and most comfortable seats. And no, it ain't perfect. But it's got a strong engine, it's got 10 good tires and lots of life left. IT'S MINE. And y'all, I'm scared to death.
- Ranch hands are the only people on Earth who are mechanics, plumbers, heavy equipment operators, electricians, home and shop builders, and engineers all in one. But if you ask us what we do for a living every one of us will say "Ohh I run cows for ____________"
- I think I'm done with dating. Anyone wanna form a mutual agreement with me to ranch cattle and occasionally get dressed up to go to town together?
- Replying to @_aylahhh and @WhitedsWifeIt's common courtesy to acknowledge anyone standing directly next to someone you know.. at the same time though if your Significant other doesn't introduce you as one of the first actions when seeing someone new that says alot.
- I'm way too fucking drunk to be on Twitter right now but here I fucking am boys
- I'm gonna create an onlyfans but it'll literally just be me yelling creative obscenities at cattle while I'm working them.
