Wife: <calls the fire department bc we have a rattlesnake in our backyard>
4 firefighters show up
Firefighter 1: next time, just spray the snake with water. they hate that, they’ll leave you alone — real simple
Wife: If it was so simple, why did you bring 4 guys?
Check mate
BarryRoland19
19K posts
- My grandfather bought his house in 1981 for ~$1m cash. He sold it in 2024 for ~$2.5m. The memories we had were priceless. But if he just put that money in Berkshire instead, he would have made over $1B, and we would just have had great memories in a house he rented.
- Last night, my wife was out with her friends, and my 4 month old woke up crying at 8pm. Fed him, changed his diaper, hugged him, rocked him, nothing worked. So I laid him down on a pillow and we watched Inglorious Basterds from start to finish. Didn’t make a peep.
- Me, trying to gloat: so we had X in our brokerage account in April. what do you think we have now? Wife: I don’t know Me: just guess Wife: I have no idea. 5X? Me: What? No, seriously Wife: 10x?
- Parents of toddlers: Have met a few 4-5 year olds recently who can add, subtract, and multiply in their heads. Their secret? Numberblocks, a TV show. So we started letting our 3yo watch it a few weeks ago. Today, she told me what 9+6 equals. I have never taught her
- Uber from JFK to the city: $110 Taxi cab: $95 Random 57 year old Asian gentleman who offered me a ride and told me to Zelle him since he doesn’t want Uber taking 40%: $75
- Neighbor bought his 3200 sqft house for $2.8m in 2023. He saw something everyone else overlooked: major opportunity in the oversized lot to build something much bigger. So he demolished the house. And just listed the lot for $2.2m. You can just do things.
- decided to slightly raise rent on a tenant who’s well below market levels the other day she responded with “no thank you!”
- A decision I never regret: ordering the $30+ burger at a higher-end restaurant A decision I often do regret: ordering a steak
- Married investors: does your significant other have any idea how much your net worth fluctuates every day? I’ll start: Only on up days
- Over the last 10 years, I never had a single tenant try to get out of their lease early. But this year alone, I've had three tenants reach out, telling me they have some sort of family emergency (in Mexico) and that they need to leave the U.S ASAP. Not good.
- Replying to @ChrisChattinNot to be mean, but you kinda lose your literacy card for not being able to read and/or comprehend that my wife made the call
- Replying to @BarryRoland19Wonder if Buffett ever tried doing the same thing with his wife Buffett: guess how much we’re worth :) Wife: I don’t know, a trillion? Buffett:
- A few years ago, a homeless maniac went into one of my tenant’s units and exposed himself to her. She texted me about it and I tried empathizing, like “man we really need to do something about these homeless ppl” and she corrected me, “*unhoused person”

