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AlwaysAshley
@AshleyAlready
damn it feels good to be a gangster.
Nearest Disaster Zone
Joined July 2017
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    Pre-order my new book, “Brian of DC Roofing and Waterproofing in Rocklin, CA Sent Me Dick Pics & Related Tales of the Audacity of Men” on Amazon soon.
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    Okay, so I rearranged my whole life to avoid student loan debt, prepaid for my kids’ college educations since their births, and now everyone’s getting $10,000 forgiven? I think that’s great 😊 Congrats, guys. A rising tide lifts all boats.
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    Good news, everyone, my 18-year-old says the economy is fine. He knows this because he owns some stocks. His mother, who works in finance, is NOT an expert and has no idea what she's talking about (despite talking about it being her job) so please calm down, he says all is well.
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    I came home from my trip to a suspiciously clean house. Found out my 18 year old had some friends over for a cookout while I was gone. Looked around at my clean house again and decided I didn’t need to ask any questions about this cookout or who was there.
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    2 years ago, I left my husband. I only took a duffel bag, had no real job, had never been alone. No money for food or school clothes for the kids. Tomorrow I’m taking them to Europe for spring break, and I did it all by myself. I wish 2-years-ago-me had known what was coming.
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    I was going to vote Biden but now that a sick drugged up old man in the hospital with a deadly virus he doesn’t believe in has tweeted SPACE FORCE in all caps, I just don’t know what to do.
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    Met the most handsome man tonight who was so drunk he could pretty much only say, “You are so beautiful,” and “Are you mad at me?” over and over again, which, to be fair, is all I really need a man to say but, alas, it was still a no go for me.
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    Replying to @AshleyAlready
    He is lecturing me about 2008. He was TWO YEARS OLD. He was an asshole back then too.
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    Randomly clicked a reddit link and it was a lady looking for an obscure stuffed animal that her 5 year old got from Goodwill but was only sold in 2005 at World Market. He lost his, she couldn't find another one, and he was mostly non-verbal but spoke thru the stuffie (1/2)
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    I’d just like to point out the lack of guns at the women’s march because we aren’t a bunch of scared little bitches.
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    Replying to @AshleyAlready
    I had just found that exact same stuffed animal in my garage the other day. It was my 17-year-old's when he was a baby. I told him about the post and he said to send it to the kid. The mom was so relieved. The internet is amazing and this all felt so sweet and so meant-to-be.
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    Dated a guy for 3 weeks and on the 21st day of knowing each other, he sent me a 1000 word text message about how mad he is that I haven't cooked him dinner at my house yet, including fan fiction about a future where he works 2 jobs, cooks every meal, and ends up yelling at me.
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    Sad to report that if you just get up and start doing things, they get done. There should be a better way though.
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    I was a realtor in my 20s and listed the house of a big game hunter with a ton of “trophies.” Buyers were horrified. They’d see the fully developed taxidermied infant elephant he cut from its mother and burst into tears. He was evil. The house didn’t sell until it was vacant.
    If you hunt to feed your family, you won't hear a word from me about it and I fully support you. But if you pay $30K to fly to Africa and shoot a lion in the face, there's something wrong with you.