Matt Mitchell
8,350 posts
Matt Mitchell
@ALostrich
Sometimes funny. Always hungry.
- Lane Kiffin is absolutely releasing squirrels on the field instead of faking injuries now and it’s absolutely genius
- Shout out to everyone who grew up watching the Braves on TBS with your MeeMaw and PawPaw. This one’s for them.
- I don’t believe God has a favorite college football team but I’m beginning to think his least favorite is Florida
- Alabama took one look at Hurricane Dorian and evacuated the whole map.
- Bring back MTV Cribs but only feature SEC coaches. I wanna confirm my suspicions that Mike Leach resides in an abandoned Ruby Tuesday.
- Roy Moore just picked up a whole bunch of twitter followers. But they ain't from around here, comrade.
- If your family asks you to bring rolls to Thanksgiving, it’s because you can’t cook. If they tell you exactly what brand to buy, it’s because you also can’t be trusted and you’re one screw up from bringing ice next year.
- We’ve officially reached that time of year in the South where “goodbye” and “see you later” is replaced with “y’all keep an eye on this weather” and it’s “gonna get bad out there”
- Auburn basketball fans are like pollen. I didn’t see any a month ago but now they’re everywhere and it’s giving me a headache.
- BREAKING: North Korea issues challenge to Bama. Tide opens as 24-point favorite.
- I’ve read all 225 pages of the tiebreaker rules and if my math is correct, the SEC Championship Game will likely be the Houston Oilers vs the Paraguay men’s rowing team
- And now, for the grand finale, 2016 is taking out Mariah Carey live on stage
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