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It doesnt sit right with me that we dont have another name for when your cousin has a baby. Like who is that to me? Also my cousin? No he's not
Jon Bird
14.5K posts
Jon Bird
@2002tacomasr5
I am looking for a Mother to my Son who is a large bird
- Taking mimi to get ice cream cone as a reward for removing the rest of the family from the will 🥰
- I have to fold my clothes and go to bed in the next 30 minutes but what if I look at my phone for two hours and kill myself instead? What if that hmm?
- Forgot the phrase "together or separate" during my first customer interaction of the day so I asked this guy "do you love him" while gesturing at his business partner or friend
- I thought schizoposting would be fun but it actually makes me want to kill myselfPeople, this isn't normal. Open your eyes! We're in Texas and besides when have you ever seen snow that looks like this??? Looks more like some sort of pesticide pellet. Wake up!!!
- Onlyfans? Sorry I'm Only a Fan of my wife!
- It says at da top of the ipadthis and not knowing what day it is
- This is making me feel bad. I'm going to take it out on my roommates dogRows appear to move.
- Why don't people barf on planes anymore? They still put the barf bags behind every seat... have we evolved to be better adapted to hurtling through the air at 500mph or what? Somethings up
- Finance guy was bumbling around like he'd never been in a coffee shop before so I hit him with a "not exactly locked in today are we boss?" And he almost came over the counter at me
- The bird I'm friends with learned to talk shit during our weekly cup hockey game... he's learning too fast
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