tickledPinks


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	Im back!

Its pretty damn jaring when someone you've loved... someone you've been with... someone you've let own you, has broken your trust. Not just chiped it a bit but pretty much taken it to a point where your almost sure it just cannot be fixed. Far to many people in my life veiw me as something special for me to let this one person, in fact the one person who's suposed to be my everything, make me feel less then that. I'm a good girl I have been a good girl for him... I've done nothing to blemish his trust and the one small infraction I may have managed I was honest about.. I not only told him what I did but I told him as soon as it happened. That is all I have ever wanted with him plain and simple.. honesty. I am not inflexible or even demanding in relationships I'm very open to all forms wheather it be open, semi open, monogomus, or even just flirty.... but one thing has to be a major part of any of these and that is the big H.. its really not so hard in most respects lies are much more work to tell then the truth.. lies are vile and painfull and I'm done with them

I went to my first event this weekend in Philly and had a wonderful time. To the ones who took me thank you so much can’t wait for next time. To everyone I met your wonderful cant wait to see you again. As for the rest of the weekend, I had just as much fun. My Mentor taught me how to flog with a friend of Mistress Kay as a wonderful target. I have to say I’m hooked and I’m looking into getting my own. Didn’t know I was switchy well now you do. My mentor’s collection of floggers is lovely and I can only hope to be lucky enough to have wonderful tools like that one day. I’m going to invest in a nice moose hide one to start, being that I really enjoy the thud. Probly buy some for lighter play in the future, but OMG I want a rose flogger so bad. The girly girl in me loves the pretty little roses and the Meany in me LOVES the description of the small fist like thuds. Ill probly just get myself a rose crop to start out since I’m short on funds lol. I really enjoyed learning about all that I did this weekend. It makes me feel wiser as a bottom and a top.

I’ve done my fair share of letting people down while on my hunt for the perfect partner. I’m realizing now that weather it be out of fear or selfishness I’ve lead some people on in my past. The reason why I write this now is cause I’ve been lead on my fair share of times as well. It struck me tonight while thinking, do I really want to be one of those people who have torn me so deeply. The answer is most defiantly No, not in any way shape or form. I’m making solid changes in my life... growing up. It eats at me that I know I’ve hurt people but I know there’s only one way to make it right. Full Honesty on all fronts mine and yours. I know that there is no way for me to tell when others are absolutely honest. But my intuition seems to be growing as well and if I see anything that makes me question you I will mention it flat out. In turn you will always get complete honesty from me on every plain. I realize what I just said will defiantly deter people. If you hear the honesty in my words you’ll know that there is nothing to fear.

With that said some details about my life. I’m currently taking care of a family member a fair amount of the time. I do have free time and I do go out. But as I am inside most of the time a fair part of us first getting to know one another will be online or on the phone. Don’t get me wrong I’m not going to keep you waiting months if we click Id def want to meet sooner rather then later. I’m just not going to be able to go out the day after we initially meet and be you’re live a week later.

This also makes relocation a big issue. While I want more then anything to be able to travel and see more places. I know that taking care of my brother holds me back. I would have to really fall for someone hard in order to leave him. So if I do meet someone at a distance you may have to come see me. Before id be able to take a long vacation and visit you.

Ok with all that being said if you still want to write please do.

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