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Lets see whats new....Daddy and i celebrated our 6 yr anniversary on May 5th...woohoo...W/we are also now engaged and have set a date to be married next year May 10th....im super excited...i have graduated from Respiratory Therapy school and have a job at a well known Children's Hospital....So far my life is going fantastic...i love all my friends and family dearly...i have grown so much in the past year....i have learned to not sweat the small stuff or for that matter the big stuff....life is too short....i have found myself wanting to try new things and thats awesome for me....ive never been one to jump in and put myself out there but im learning little by littl to let go and experiment....with Daddys help of course....Kisses to Daddy all over....i love You more than life itself.... |
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So everything seems to be going really good in my life...Daddy and i celebrated our 5 yr anniversary on May 5th....I got my Associates of Science degree in May and I am 6 weeks from getting my Associates of Applied Science in Respiratory Therapy...Wow a lot has been going on...W/we are still active in the community and are pretty well known among the groups W/we belong to...School takes up a lot of my time and im hoping when its finished W/we can get back to a normal play routine....but im so thankful that i have a Daddy that is so supportive of me going to school.....i love Him bunches....Kisses to Daddy |
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Wow, i cant believe its been a year since i wrote in this journal....giggles...Daddy and i just celebrated our 3 yr anniversary...yay...this weekend we are going to dinner and out to a play...should be lots of fun...i have been so busy with school and work...i will be getting my Associates of Science degree this december at the end of the Fall semester...yay...took 3 yrs but well worth it...now if i could just get accepted to the nursing program...oh well, i will apply again in a couple of days when my class ends...if i dont get in im going to stay in school and get my Bachelors of Chemistry degree so i can do forensic science...should be fun...nothing else really new on this end...just enjoying my life with the love of my life...Kisses...i love you Daddy.... |
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**yay...today is my 2 yr anniversary with Daddy...woohoo...i also just took my last final at school for the spring semester...im off school until the fall, aug 24...yay...its been a crazy semester...i took 5 classes and im so ready for a break....ive also lost 22.6 pounds with weight watchers and i joined the weight watcher team to walk a 5k in July....im trying to expand my horizons by learning and doing more...im going to be applying for the nursing program on July 9th so im praying i get in...once i apply i should know by the 2nd weekend of November if i got accepted....Oh yeah and my birthday was yesterday...so its been a great week....i love my Daddy with all my heart body and soul and im so glad that collarme brought us together....big kisses Daddy** pet loves you |
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**one more month and Daddy and i will be celebrating our 2yr anniversary...it has definately been a journey...i am still learning as i go...i love Daddy more and more every day...im coming up on finishing a year of college....i am hoping to apply for nursing school in August and if i get accepted i will start in jan 2010....
we went to a campout this past weekend with about 20 of our friends...omg we had so much fun...i did fire cupping for the first time..it was great...Daddy was tapping on the glasses and jiggling them...i couldnt help but giggle and everyone was amazed to see me so giddy...they kept saying they had never seen that side of me...we had a water balloon fight and 2 subbies pushed Daddy into the pool that was there...and then Daddy went after one of them and grabbed them by the hair and drug her over to the pool and pushed her in...we also had a subbie hunt at night...so much fun....i cant wait to do it again...**
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**wow, i havent posted for a bit...things are going good...i had foot surgery on June 20th...Daddy has been so good taking care of me...He really loves me...I started school in May...i will be done with my pre-alg class this Tues, 7-8-08...and beginning Alg starts July 10...just moving right along...i had my 2 yr review at work and got a raise...woohoo...Daddy and i will be moving in Aug to a smaller apartment...so we can save some money while im in school...and of course we are still going to parties and having a blast...July is a busy month....we have SAF, then Sinfest, then i have a gurls sleep over..mmm sexy...lots of stuff going on...other than that all is good in our neck of the world....pet loves you Daddy....Kisses kisses kisses.....**Daddys pet squeak** |
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**hi everyone...things are going great with Daddy and me...Monday is O/our 1 yr anniversary...yay...im so excited...tomorrow is my birthday...woohoo...W/we have been going to lots of parties and making lots of friends...W/we are enjoying ourselves so much...for O/our anniversary i got Daddy a moose flogger with a snake skin handle and a pair of reed bundles...they are awesome...O/our friend Master Wingz makes toys and they are truely great...im also starting college in 2 weeks...yeah another journey...im looking forward to something new...i hope everyone has a great evening..**kisses to Daddy** |
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**Daddy and i went to our first play party Saturday March 1....it was awesome...i was terrified as all get out..cause i didnt know what was going to happen...i was totally over dressed..giggles...but the people were so nice..and we saw so many different things...i definately want to try knife and fire play...lots of girls getting whipped and flogged...it was absolutely fabulous....Daddy had a great time too...since W/we went Daddy seems alive...He has been more controling and He has been more Sadistic towards me...i love it...i just wish i could handle more but im still new at the pain stuff...but i love the marks He leaves on me after...smiles...W/we were invited to another party March 15....more fun...giggles...im slowly coming out of my shell and it feels great....and there is also the fetish ball coming up...mmm i cant wait to get dressed up for that....**big hugs and kisses to my Daddy....pet loves you with all her heart and soul** |
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just thought i would stop by and update my journal here....well i went to the community college the other day...i want to start taking the basic classes so i can move onto signing up to be a nurse....i think its a great career change for me and for Daddy....cause when we move to Idaho i can have a career that can go with us....we didnt do much for valentines day, but the day after we went to the museum of natural science and we saw the Lucy exhibit, that was really interesting, then we saw the dinasours, the sea shells, and omg, the jewels and gems, they were fabulous...Daddy asked me if i made my xmas list out already, of course i said yes...giggles...Hes so funny....i love Him with all my heart.... |
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Happy Birthday Daddy...Kisses all over |
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**Happy Holidays to E/everyone** Daddy and i are growing and learning everyday together...i love Him so very much...im glad that Collarme could bring U/us together...i get in trouble sometimes but Daddy is really good about punishment and i know He still loves me when Hes finished beating my butt...giggles...plus i love the bruises, but they sure do hurt like heck when im getting them....ouch..much love to E/everyone out there...**kisses to Daddy** |
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Happy Turkey Day to E/everyone one. Stay safe and enjoy the Holiday.. |
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**i had a good time with Daddy last night...even though i did get a spanking with the belt for being a little mouthy over the past couple of days or weeks....at first i was a little hurt that i got spanked, but then i realized it was what i needed....every now and then it is nice to have Daddy use His power over me...it helps me to remember my place and be a good girl....i did get some pretty bruises out of the deal, so thats nice....something to remember for later....they also help me remember to keep my place over the coming days....i also got choked with the belt...mmmm that always feels nice...i never thought i would like being choked, but there is something about it i find appealing....giggles....im a growing masochist i think...at least Daddy thinks so...giggles....**kisses to my Daddy, princess loves You bunches** |
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**things are going really well for Daddy and me....W/we are still learning and growing together...takes time....my youngest started 11th grade today....woohoo....almost kidless in the home....i will miss him when hes gone though...he is my baby....just wanted to give an update....im sure i could elaborate more on what Daddy and i are doing, but thats a little personal to me....i will say this, i do enjoy bondage....it is very exciting....and Daddy works with me slowly....anyway...i hope everyone enjoys their days and nights....hugs and kisses to all....** |
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**this are going great on this end...Daddy and i are doing good....W/we are exploring and having fun...smiles....and i still get to be the lil girl that i am....that makes me happy.....W/we are getting some things paid and that feels very good....by Nov we should be caught up....i cant remember the last time i said that....i hope everyone is doing well...best wishes to A/all....**hugs and kisses to my Daddy** |
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**smiles to everyone...well i went and cut my hair....i donated 10 inches to the Locks of Love (people with cancer)....i started doing this last year...i figure why waste my hair...i can put it to good use...i also wanted a hair cut...since its summer...although you wouldnt be able to tell cause its been raining here for last 3 weeks...i really want to go to the beach..i need to work on my tan...*shrugs*...Daddy and i are doing great...i am enjoying Him being here so much...he is a very positive part of my life...my youngest son is in Nevada/California for the summer so its nice to have time with Daddy alone....*winks*....well i hope everyone has a great day and night...*kisses to all* |
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**wishes do come true....i belong to the most amazing Daddy...He means the world to me...i am learning so much from Him...and W/we are exploring together....He is more Man than i could have ever imagined finding....He absolutely takes my breath away...i cant wait to explore more and have more adventures with my Daddy....i wish all the best of luck..**smiles** |
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***today is my BIRTHDAY.....wooohoooo....happy birthday to me.....**smiles** |
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**everyones kink is different...that is apparent....and of course everyone has an opinion on why they like something....well, what i like or crave is Daddy/lil girl....its not something i only crave in the bedroom....its who i am and who i feel i am down inside....i already have a childlike voice....i wear pig tails...i suck my thumb/paci....these are things that i do because i enjoy them...i seek a Daddy because i want that nurturing environment...i want to be and feel protected....i enjoy the control Daddy has over me....this is not to say that i dont enjoy being intimate with Daddy....because i do...i enjoy that a lot....but its about trust...knowing im not going to be hurt all the time...knowing im not just an object...but that i am wanted and adored....not everyone who calls themselves a Daddy is a Daddy....its a lot of responsibility to take on another person...just as though a Dom takes on a subbie/slave...it is the same, but sometimes a bit more challenging...anyway...i just thought i would voice some of my opinions and thoughts....**have a great day** |
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**i have updated my profile pics....or at least changed the order of some...so they are not approved yet...but they will be up again soon....hope you enjoy....** |
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**its been a rough couple of days....my son seems to think he can do whatever he wants...so he got caught skipping school and now i need to go to court and pay a fine...kinda sucks the parents pay for something the kid did....my son has said some hurtful things to me lately....and i think now its time to send my son to live with his dad....i dont want to send him away...but i think its the best for him....since he doesnt want to listen to me...not that he will listen to his dad....but its time his dad step up and stop being a part time dad and get involved...you just cant pay child support and call yourself a daddy...takes more...this is one of the hardest decisions i have had to make this far as a parent....and it breaks my heart....i dont even think my son knows or cares....my family seems to think he will want to come home once he realizes how good he had it at my house...but oh well....im not going to allow him home....he made his bed now he needs to lie in it....his actions are what caused this...so we will see what happens....at this point im making it thru the day...trying not to think about my son leaving in May for his dads....i dont think he knows how much i really do love him...** |
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**where to start....some people on here have a way to build your hopes up and then knock them down...dont know why that is...what happened to trust and honesty...one of the biggest things, at least for me, in this lifestyle...i guess those values were left out of some Dom101 classes...not sure...just felt like venting for a minute....hope everyone is well...** |
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**i post 2 new pics...it will take a couple of days before CM posts them im sure....but they are of me getting in touch with that lil girl....i hope you like them....** |
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**i thought i would drop by and make an entry for tonight...i would like everyone who emails to know that i am dating and i am talking to people from this site....i am seeking one for me....i have come to a point in my life where both of my kids are almost out of the house and its time to focus on me and my desires....i would like to learn and grow within the l/s.....i have tried several times before to leave and be in the vanilla life...but i have yet to find a man that is controlling like i desire...i am more into the mental bondage of D/s....of course its too much to explain here...and much more private....but i thought i would share my thoughts....i hope every has a safe weekend....and enjoys themselves....** |
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**well, back to work Monday...blah...well was seeing someone from this site...but after he thought about it, he was not ready to devote time to anything serious...between work and kids...life just seemed to get in the way...we did click in so many ways...and i hope to always call him a friend....hes and amazing man and one day will make a subbie/slave very happy...such is life....i hope all is well with everyone....** |
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**i got a new tattoo....its a keltic butterfly a little below my neck in the back....its so pretty...i put a picture of it in my photos...might take a couple of days for CM to post it...check it out....have a great day to everyone....** |
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**today has been quite boring....i have had some nice chats today, i will say that....ive been home alone most of the day...my kids are gone doing things with their friends...just bored and want to do something....oh well...have a nice day all...** |
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**yay its friday....i thought it would never get here....things are going nicely with the person im seeing from this site....he makes me smile every day....i thought i was going to go nuts yesterday....cause he was out working in the field...and i didnt get to talk to him all day, like i had been....i know seems crazy....but when you are used to having someone there on the other end....you miss it when they are gone...anyway...he was back today....it was nice....we progress more and more each day....have a nice night all...** |
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**hump day...wooohooo....closer to friday...im thinking of getting another tattoo this weekend....i want a butterfly on the back of my neck...ive been carrying around the pic of the butterfly i want for the past 5 yrs...not really sure why ive hung on to it for so long...but i have...im enjoying my talks with the one i went out with.....its nice going to work every day and knowing he will be on the other end of the computer....feels like hes with me all day....smiles....** |
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**so its Monday....back to work we go...giggles....today was a pretty good day...talked to the one i went out with and as usually he makes me smile...he has a way of making a person feel very at ease....which is nice...i wish everyone a very happy evening....*till next time*...hugs to all |
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**today is a good day...i went out last night and had a great time....i enjoyed the company i was with....He made me feel very at ease...he was everything i thought he would be and more....very handsome and a great conversationalist....he has very captivating eyes....could make a girl do just about anything...smiles....i hated the night to end...but i knew he was tired from working all day....im looking forward to seeing him again....until next time.....have a nice night... |
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**funny how things change and people grow or become distant....today i decided to have a talk with my b/f....for awhile i have felt like he has not wanted to have a committment...im sad that things had to end...im equally sad that he didnt give us the chance we deserved from the beginning....but he wanted to experience new girls while we were together and when i found out i think he stayed with me to make me happy....but that wasnt the right choice....we are better not being together....so as i started out saying..i talked with him today and i guess i basically decided that we shouldnt be together....we have some things to sort out especially money wise...we will stay tied to each other for financial reasons until we can both get on our feet...but such is life....**sad but still here**
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**things are going a lot better with my b/f...we have talked in great lengths about adding someone to our home...we both agree that it would be nice for me to have someone to hang out with, help around the house and of course play with...and then when he comes home from over the road, we can all play together...this is something we have been talking about for a bit...and think that we want to pursue this...mind you....we are not going to be adding somone right away...we will be getting to know this person in detail...not only that i want to wait until my youngest son is out of the house...which will be in 2 1/2 yrs...not sure if they might move in before then...something to discuss...i think this is a positive move for the both of us....still taking one day at a time...**big smiles** I love you Honey** |
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**im back from my trip to Dallas and Oklahoma...i had a really good time...i wish it didnt have to end so fast...i miss spending the holidays with my b/f....its not the same without him...he says hes going to look into working for TX DOT or Florida DOT....it would be nice to have him home....we can work more on us....we will see what happens....its lonely at home by myself....not being able to really go out and be a couple is hard....hopefully one day that will change...we are still taking things slowly....one day at a time....we talked about moving to florida when my youngest son graduates high school in 2 1/2 yrs....that would be nice...he has family there and my best friend lives there....i dont really see myself living in Houston forever...i like it here...but i dont want to retire here...i hope everyone had a great christmas....and they got everything they wanted...**smiles** |
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**so now im leaving on Friday instead of Thursday to head up to see my b/f....we are going to spend the day in Dallas then go to Oklahoma...should be fun...im looking forward to seeing him....we seem to be getting back to the way we were when we first met....we are both laughing again and we seem happy...but im sure we are both guarded....at least i know i am...one step at a time...thats all i can do...**smiles** |
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**2 more days and i leave to Oklahoma...im getting excited....i need a break from my kids...they are driving me nuts...after Oklahoma im going to Dallas...ive got family coming in from Arkansas and Nevada....its been awhile since ive seen them...i miss them bunches...well, each day is getting better and better...i think im back to my ole goofy self...still guarded and careful, but for the most part, myself again....im looking forward to seeing my b/f...i do miss him....only time will tell what is going to happen...**smiles** |
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**i just uploaded a few new pics....so im sure they will come up in a couple of days....hope everyone enjoys...have a great day...**love You Master* kisses* |
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fantasies are great:
i often think about having a females arms and legs cuffed to the bed. legs spread apart..her blindfolded so all she can do is feel my touch.. i whisper in her ear how sexy she looks laying there exposed...i gently kiss her neck moving to her shoulder...then i kiss her cheek and move to her lips..one of my hands holding the other side of her neck...moving slowly down...running my fingernails down her side gently....and
back up again..kissing her deeply i move my fingers across her chest at the top and then down the middle of her heaving
breasts..mmmm so perky...getting harder...going around each round mound....i give each one a little pinch and twirl them for a moment in my fingers...my lips start moving down
her body...kissing under her chin, down her neck...slowly making my way to her breast..my tongue starts exploring
her body..her nipples getting harder...i flick my tongue over each nipple and blow softly...then i start sucking
on each one..lingering there for awhile...my fingers move down her tummy to feel her wetness between her legs...mmm getting so wet...my fingers find her clit throbbing...i start to rub it in small circles, giving her clit a little
pressure....i move my mouth to the other breast and continue playing with her clit...then i slide my finger down and
feel her ass pucker...i make a few small circles at her hole and move back up...using another finger i enter her hot
wet hole...her hips start moving up and down....i move my lips off her nipples down to her wet pussy...holding
her lips open with my fingers i start licking her clit...then i put my tongue inside her...tasting her juices...i move
back up to suck on her clit some more...shes so hot and sexy...helpless...i
free one of my hands from holding her lips and i start twisting her nipple...she starts bucking against my face...i hold
her down with care...as my ass is in the air i feel my Masters hands on my clit...teasing me from behind...pushing my head into this lovely ladies pussy...getting my face all
wet...shes so close to cumming...her tummy and legs are shaking...shes moaning so loud in delight...she says,
"more, more, please"...i eat her faster and harder...then i feel my Master stick His cock in my ass...i moan against the sexy girls clit...Master starts off slow
and then starts going faster and faster...he tells me not to move my face away from that sexy pussy...he tells me to eat her until she cums all over my face...i lick her faster and faster...she yells out shes cumming as Master is now
fucking me so hard that we are both cumming as well....he tells me not to stop, bring her over the edge...she is moving all about...her breathing is so hard and her breasts are heaving...she is cumming again...mmmm so tasty....Master leaves the room and lets me and the sexy girl lay together
and rest....*smiles*
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**i have made a really nice friend...she is someone i can talk to and share my thoughts and feelings...having a friend in this lifestyle is nice...we learn something new about each other each day...well my Master got to come home for about 2 days...wooohoo...it was so nice to see Him...i missed Him so much...i asked that He not go away for so long again...but then we both know that its up to His job when He can come home...i will just wait until He gets to come home again...im enjoying my new female friend very much...going slow is always a good thing...off to bed i go...Master will be calling soon...**love You Master**kisses**
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**who said a beautiful girl had to be a size 5...even though im not a size 5 im still a beautiful person...beauty isnt only on the outside...its the inside too...and honestly im not a bad looking girl...i know i have improvements to make...but im working on it...i can only take one day at a time...ok..so now im on this journey to find a female friend...i started talking with a lovely young lady...shes very nice...so we will see where that goes...and hey we can all use some new friends...new perspective on things is always good...guess thats all for now...**i love you Master**kisses** |
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**everything is all put away now in the new place...wooohoo....Master is in Arizona right now, hopefully He will be coming home soon...i miss Him a great deal...thank goodness for cell phones...W/we talk all the time...my new job is going great...going on 3 months here....the people are great and its always nice to work so close to home...nothing else really new...just living day by day, getting things done that need to...guess i should get back to work now...i love You Master....lots of hugs & kisses** |
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**all moved in and i am tired as all get out....im having a hard time keeping my eyes open at work....Master came home to help with the move...i wish He could have stayed longer....but i know He had to go back to work...He will be home again soon...i should have the new house put together by then...lots of work to do....but at least it keeps me busy...hugs and kisses to You Master, i love You** |
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**all is good in the land of thumper....Master and i are getting ready to move in two weeks...wooohooo....starting over and change are most times a good thing...at this point in my life it is definately a good thing...i wish i could see my Master more but His work takes Him away...He is coming home next weekend and it will be 5 weeks since Ive seen Him...mmmm to feel His touch...i cant wait...im so excited...im enjoying my new job a lot....the people are so nice....im looking forward to my son graduating high school in 3 yrs so i can go on the road with Master....then W/we wont have to be apart and W/we can earn more money driving together...well, back to work i go....**i love You Master...*smiles* |
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**i hope everyone has a safe and happy fourth of July....** |
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**its been awhile since ive written here...things with my Master and me are as great as ever...W/we are still learning about each other every day and W/we grow closer each passing moment...W/we are going on 7 months together...wow time seems to fly....i recently quit my job of 6 years and got a new job...i cant tell you how much happier i am....my new job is so great...i love the people they are all so friendly...its nice working in a team environment....my kids and i just got back from a weekend in Florida...my best friend of 22 years got married and i was a bridesmaid....it was great to see her, we havent seen each other in about 10 years...so catching up was great....next time we wont wait so long to see each other...even though we talk on the phone just about every day, its not the same as seeing her in person...Master says that maybe around Labor day W/we will go back and visit cause He has family there too that He wants me to meet...nothing much is really going on here....until next time...i love You Master with all that i am....*kisses* |
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**guess what folks, im still with my Master....its going on 5 months....time sure does fly when you're having fun....lots of fun...giggles...my Master is back at work on the road...making money to pay the bills and what not....i miss Him very much...im glad W/we get to talk all the time...it keeps me sane...Master and i keep growing every day that W/we are together and i know it will just keep getting better over time...He is the one i have been searching for....and He has told me the same about me...have you ever just found that perfect person that fits you in every way...that is how W/we are....i love You Master with all my heart...**smooches** |
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*wow, its been longer than a month since ive written here....i cant believe how the time flies by...my Master is home this week...woohoo...ive missed Him...He's been gone for 3 weeks at work...ive been so busy though, cleaning, paying bills, every day living...i was also hanging out with some friends...which brings me to my entry for today...why do your friends feel the need to out do you or want what you have...i have a friend whose b/f totally went stupid or something...he did something that was inappropriate...then he got called out on it, and acted very immature and violent...anyway, my friend couldnt believe he was acting so irrational and violent, calling her names, her friends names and what not, scaring her son...then has the nerve to come at me...well since my Master was not home of course i defended myself, i let him have it...he def. backed off of me...then at the end of it all she stayed with him...of course im leaving out a bunch of details...cause this entry would be a book if i went further in depth...but my friend deserves better for herself and child and feels the need to keep this jerk around after what he did...not sure if its because all of her other friends now have b/f's or what....but he doesnt have a job, no car, and he was living at home...she got an apartment and he moved right in...this bothers me cause she said she would never date a guy who didnt have a job, or a car, or his own place...has she settled for someone just because everyone else around her has someone...not sure...but i do know she is selling herself and her son short...the one i really feel sorry for is her son...but i did voice my feelings to her, what are friends for...but she seems to always want to defend him or sugar coat things...oh well....anyway...im so happy that my Master is home....i will miss Him so much when He leaves again Thursday night, but i know He will be coming back home as quickly as He can...i love Him so very much...** |
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*i cant believe W/we finally have O/our house back to O/ourselves....W/we have had a couple of roomates (friends)...over the past 2 years...it feels weird to have the house back....and its so nice not to have to lower O/our voices or keep quit in what W/we do...now O/our lives can move forward....im very happy now that W/we are roommate free....*big smiles**love you Master..... |
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**my Master started with a new company and W/we are apart right now...but O/our hearts are still joined...He will come home soon...im glad W/we get to talk to each other every day...i would go crazy....He listened to me vent about work yesterday it was nice having an adult to talk to about work stuff...i felt much better when it was over....wooohooo W/we are so excited....W/we have had a house guest for the past 9 months and she got her own place...she moves out this weekend...now W/we can start going forward with the remodel on the house more....and making O/our bedroom bigger...im excited...its been awhile since W/we have had the house to ourselves....W/we dont have to keep quit now when W/we play....thats exciting in itself....W/we can finally be ourselves without having someone else see us...ive started making a list of the things W/we need to do to the house....i cant wait till its all done....so, im still extremely happy....and i know i will continue to be this way....i love You Master.. *kisses* |
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**my Master might be coming back home tomorrow...how exciting...i will have Him home again...at least for the weekend...but then He will be gone to work...thank god W/we have cell phones...i miss Him so much when He leaves to go to work...but i know He has to...all in all life is great of U/us...**i love You Master** |
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**i havent been on much lately...my Master has been home with me...W/we have been enjoying each others company...He is such and amazing Man...i know that O/our life together will be full of devotion and love....W/we both love each other very much and there is nothing and noone that can tear us apart....W/we lift each other up when needed....W/we know that W/we are there for each other in any way...its so wonderful to have Him in my life...**im at peace now that i have my One true Master** |
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**i came online to check my emails...and what do i get an email from someone who says he likes my pic and if i want to write him so we can maybe start a long term relationship...ok first off...if you saw my picture then you saw my profile...i HAVE a Master...im completely in love with Him and only Him....i do not want to have a relationship with anyone other than HIM....W/we are committed only to each O/other...no one else....nothing upsets me more than people who dont read my profile or even my journal....i am happy, i am not looking for anyone else...please respect that....**that being said, my Master will be in Dallas this weekend and im going up to see Him...that was as close as He could get to O/our this time...but thats fine, its a get a way for me too...i look forward to seeing Him...all is terrific with the both of U/us...so i look forward to O/our journey together...**i love You Master with all my heart....** |
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*i picked my mom up yesterday from the airport...shes moving on pretty well...of course she is still sad for the loss of her sister, but she knows shes in a better place now...i still tear up thinking about my aunt, but it will pass im sure...as we all know life does go on....i talk to my Master everyday all the time...He makes me extremely happy...He is everything i ever wanted....i cant wait to finally be with Him out on the truck...i miss Him so much when Hes gone away to work...thank god for cell phones...as long as im in contact with Him im fine...O/our relationship is growing stronger and closer every day....and W/we are starting to make plans for me coming on the truck and remodeling O/our house...Master i love You will all my heart, body, mind and soul* |
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**today is a very sad day for my family...my moms youngest sister passed away...she was only 40...she had not even begun to live her life...all my love goes out to my mom...i know she is suffering with this..for today is also my mothers birthday and her other sisters wedding anniversary...although there should be joy for my mom and other aunt there is so much sadness surrounding this day...my mom will never forget the day of her sisters death as long as she lives...hopefully my mom will get past this and know that it is now a day to remember and celebrate the life of my aunt and not the passing...in my aunts final days she said she saw God...and he told her to figure things out...only my aunt and God of course know what that means...i ask that everyone try and remember that with each day that goes by you need to give thanks for what you have and not dwell on the things you dont have...live life as if it was your last day...cherish your family and friends and try your best not to sweat the small stuff...finally...please tell the ones you hold close to you that you love them....you may never say it but they need to hear it...**i love you mom** |
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**im back...happy new year to E/everyone....i had such an incredible time with my Master...i loved being with Him for the past 2 weeks...it was fun seeing what He does at work and i even got to help...woohoo...now im back home and He has to leave to go back out to work...but its ok...cause i know i have His love to go with me thru the days He is away from me...i know my Master is my soul mate...i love Him so much and He loves me too...i have searched a long time to find Him and im not letting Him go...i know that W/we will be together from this day forward....i love You Master....**kisses** http://www.collarspace.com/htmlarea/smileys/0017.gif" align=absMiddle border=0> |
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**Merry Christmas to A/all....after today i will not be back online until January 3 or so...i will be on the road with my Master....i hope E/everyone gets what they want for Christmas...stay safe on New Years Day....**hugs to A/all**i love You Master with all my heart and soul....*kisses* |
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*now the count down begins....4 more days and then off to be with my Master for a week....im so excited...i cant wait to see Him again...W/we miss each other greatly...im sure He will like all the christmas presents i got Him...*smiles*...some W/we can use together...mmmm such fun....i miss my Master so very much...its going to be 2 weeks since ive seen Him and i know its killing the both of U/us to be apart...but of course W/we have to work...O/our hearts will be better on monday when W/we can finally be together...i love You with all my heart, body, mind and soul Master. *kisses* |
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*great big smiles*...i just talked to my Master...He didnt get to call yesterday...but He did today...i feel much better...i worry about Him out there on the road...but i know Hes fine now...and He will call again later...i love Him so very much...i cant wait to see Him next monday....woohoo...i get a week with Him on the truck...im so excited..i feel like a kid....i cant even begin to express how happy i get when He calls me or when i get to see Him...the love He has for me shows in everything He does for me....and i love pleaseing Him with all my soul....it makes me so happy....ok, i wont go on anymore...just to say that i love You Master with all my heart, body, mind and soul now and forever...Your baby...*kisses* |
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*its getting closer to the time i can meet Masters parents...woohoo...im excited and nervous all in one...He will also meet my kids too....i know everyone will like each other...Master and i are so much in love that i know the family will come together nicely...i cant wait to be with Master for a whole week...its going to be so much fun....on the road just the two of us....makes me smile just thinking about it....i cant wait until we are together all the time...but it will happen soon...my Master has my heart, body, mind and soul now and forever...i love You Master*kisses* |
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*ok, i have a question....do people on this site just not read profiles...or do they just look at pictures...i have posted in my profile that i have a Master...i am extremely happy with Him and only Him....so why do i keep getting emails from people saying they want to get to know me and they want me to give them my yahoo id and such....hello, read my profile again...to those of you that have respond with kind words and congrats....i thank you very much...you are the ones that are true individuals and not fakes and players...at least in my eyes....its nice to know that some people can be happy for others and not want to gain anything from good wishes....now on to my Master....i love You Sir....You have my heart, body, mind & soul always....i think about You often when W/we are not together...but i will be with You soon....im looking forward to O/our time together...i love and miss You bunches my Love...*kisses*kisses*kisses..Your baby |
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*huge smiles*....i cant even begin to say how wonderful my Master is...He is so very special to me...each day that W/we are together means a lot to me...W/we grow closer every time W/we see each other...i have waited my entire life to find a Man like Him and i dont intend on letting Him go...He brings so much joy to my life and He fills my heart with an over abundant amount of love....i know that He loves me and always will...people know when they connect on a deeper level and thats how it is for U/us...i know He is the one i am destined to be with for all times....i give my Master my heart, body, mind and soul...i love You Master completely..**kisses*kisses* |
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*great big smiles*...im very happy now...i have my Master...He is the one i have been on my journey for...He completes me like no other...i know O/our road with be difficult at first but it will be well worth enduring...i cant explain in any amount of words what i feel for Him...ive never felt a connection like this before and i cherish it dearly...just thinking of Him makes me smile...and hearing His voice sends me over the top....i wont even say what seeing Him does to me...Master i want You to know i love You with all my heart, body and soul....what i have is Yours now and always....*kisses*kisses*kisses* |
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*omg what an incredible weekend...i have met the man that is for me...He is amazing...we connect on so many levels...im so very happy...i have so many emotions inside right now....im happy and sad at the same time...of course im happy, because i met my Master...but im sad cause im away from Him right now...but i know He will come back to me after Hes done with work....*giggles*....so happy....i miss you madly Master...love you bunches....*kisses*smiles* |
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*things are right there in front of our eyes and we choose to ignore the obvious..why do we do that...do we think that we are unimportant or not deserving of the best in life...why do we settle...why do some others feel that its ok to lead people on, make them think or believe one thing when all along there is a hidden agenda....theres no need, honesty is so important....things can be as simple or as hard as you make them....your choice...**i will have more thoughts later...cause im filled with them today...*sad* |
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**sometimes i dont think men realize what they have in front of them until its gone...they give up the sweet girl for the girl that treats them poorly or who is a b*tch most of the time...why is that...instead of the nice guy finishing last, for me its the nice girl finishing last....no matter how hard i try doesnt seem good enough....im too sweet...but yet i still stay and hope that one day the person i care for will open his eyes and see me...
how long do you think you have to date someone before you know they are the one you want to be with....i know its different for everyone....but technically you should know after at least a month...or you wouldnt still talk to that person...
i hope everyone has a safe and happy thanksgiving.....*smiles* |
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*well its me again, have you ever really cared for someone and you know they care for you too, but neither one of you want to get hurt, so you dont push forward....how much do you try and push the other person...i mean you dont want to scare them away or anything...you dont want to push them away, what you really want is to pull them close to you....do you think its easier for women to express their feelings then men...just for the simple fact as women are taught to cry and men arent...men are taught not to be sissys...i dont think men that cry or have feelings are weak....shows they are human....im full of questions i guess...i will just keep going with the flow, cause i dont want to chase the person im seeing away, i really do care for him a lot....but jealousy and stuff like that sure do have a hold on me sometimes...one day i will get the best of jealousy and not let it get the best of me...at least i can hope thats what will happen....ive been told feelings are a great thing to have, but when you have too many, they end up hurting you....just my opinion...ok, back to work i go...*smiles* |
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*i guess i hadnt realized it had been so long since i wrote here...ive been busy lately and im also recovering from being sick...so here i am...my journey has been great, of course always with ups and downs...but such is life...ive been dating one person lately, and ive grown very fond of him....i hope to stay on my journey with him and grow more....there is always room for improvement and growth...im sure i will have more to say later, but im still not feeling 100%, almost back to normal but not quite there yet..*smiles* |
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**have you ever had one of those days where you just wanted to cry...seems im having one...people at work are being stupid...they dont think before they start doing something...its not that hard to use your brain...im tired of getting yelled at for things that are not my fault...too much on my mind...** |
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**i enjoyed my weekend...it was nice to spend time with someone i care for...wish it could have been more time...i really didnt want to get up this morning, if i could have only slept another hour or so..oh well...i think lately ive been keeping my feelings to myself...i dont want to write too much in my journal here, seems when i do, things do not go the way i want them too....** |
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*well tonight is my bowling night...and im tired as hell...even though i went to bed at 10p...life is such a journey and it gets better all the time...dont get me wrong there are many many days of the bad...but thank god for the good...gives me a glimmer of hope...*smiles* |
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**i had a very nice evening....i enjoyed the company i had....it was very peaceful...i felt very loved...i dont want to say to much, cause i dont want to jinx things...i guess im superstitious....have a great day to all**smiles** |
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**im spending more time getting to know a certain Sir...im enjoying my journey very much so far...He is quite different from the rest ive met...and He has many skills...which i hope to explore one day...but i have to work up to that...one day at a time...**smiles** |
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**i had a job interview yesterday....i think it went really well, they said they would call me in a couple of days...i need a new job, making more money...all these inflated prices are killing me....today will hopefully be a better day....im keeping my head up** |
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*how do you deal with a son that just doesnt seem to get it? for a woman its hard being mom and dad...how many ways do i have to tell my son to get a job...to help me cause i need it after all the times ive helped him...ive been thru so much in the past 2 years but he just doesnt seem to get it...his friends are more important than anything else....i just dont get it...its so frustrating....im trying to do the tough love thing, but do you know how hard that is for a subbie....the mommy in me comes out and i just want to protect him, give him what he needs or wants...i know thats silly....hes bringing me so far down i cant see above the dirt....im hopeing things get better if not my life will have to change...* |
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*i had a great weekend, i got to spend some time with someone i want to get to know better...im enjoying myself and i know i will learn more as time goes on...i must admit the floggers he has shown me make me tingle inside....just looking at them makes my flesh want to taste them...i want to feel the release of power to another....hopefully it will happen soon....*big smiles* |
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*well, today is not starting out good at all...my car wouldnt start this morning...i think its the fuel filter or pump...i was late for work, i borrowed my sons car, omg...that kid, i dont think he knows the meaning, clean your car...not only that his inspection sticker has expired, since july...he needs air in his tires, and i dont think hes checked the levels on his fluids in the car....gee whiz..i showed him how..im hopeing the day will get better, i dont know how much more i can take...everything seems to be piling in on me...i wish i had one of those easy buttons from the commercial...*sighs* |
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**the truth is really hard for some people...i dont know why...im so tired of being lied to...its my nature to trust people, but please dont abuse that...i deserve the truth...how dare you people lie and think that it wont catch up to you...how dare you people think its ok to stomp on our feelings and then think nothing about it...to me trust is a big thing in this l/s...if i cant trust my Dom then there is nothing...and what does that say about you if you have to lie to get what you want...then you arent man enough to begin with...** |
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*ive talked to some really nice people thru emails...to the ones ive spoken to thank you very much..i hope to continue the nice conversations...*smiles* |
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*well im back with more thoughts. why is it people put in their profiles say that they want to find someone, and then you find out later that they only want a piece of ass...dont hide or lie, just come out with it...there are so many fakes and players out there.. it makes it hard for those of us who truly want a D/s relationship to find one. we believe and trust and then it seems once the players figure they have you then they use you, do value is given to your feelings, or they just disappear, not writing or calling you back...and Doms wonder why us subbies are so guarded...go figure...we just get tired of getting hurt, lied to and used..* |
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*i know there are ups and downs in life, i hope im done with the downs...i didnt think it was that hard to find people that were honest..but i seem to be asking for the moon...anyway, i dont think im going to go on about my feelings anymore, cause it seems to be the same pattern of me getting hurt...* |
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** lost in a sea of emotions...things are just a disappointment lately...no one should have to lie or pretend to be someone or something they arent...i think i will gather my thoughts a little better, i may be back later to write again...but i dont know..** |
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**its been a very rough couple of days, but i finally made it back home...the roads are crazy..ive never had to run from a storm before and i dont want to do it again, but safety comes first...never take for granted what you have, because one day it may be all gone...this includes friends and family, not just material belongings...**
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**everyone please stay safe in the upcoming days...may god watch over everyone out there...** |
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**big smiles*..its such a great day..and i know it will get even better....sharing things with certain people can be a freeing and rewarding experience...**keep your head up**http://www.collarspace.com/htmlarea/smileys/0012.gif" align=absMiddle border=0> |
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**great big smiles**its amazing how you can talk to certain people and they can just make you smile...the words you choose can be the most memorable to someone else..just make sure the words you speak are the truth...speaking as a woman, we tend to hang on to the words that are spoken to us...the men that can use their vocabulary skills will by far get more smiles and attention, then the men that have limited skills...if you send an email we can still sense the feelings coming from the letters on the page....if you make someone smile today, you just might be smiling yourself....*wink* |
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**its 334am, i just got home from a get together at my friends house...it was so much fun...i laughed my ass off....it was great hanging with friends i hadnt seen for awhile...today was one of my happier days...**
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**today was a hard day at work...lately ive been very unhappy, i got sent home today, because my boss asked me why she was getting bad vibes from me to her....i asked her if she wanted the truth, she said yes, so i told her...when it was all said and done, she went crying to the owner, and i got sent home for the day...i guess she shouldnt have asked...but hey, tomorrow is a different day, i just know that i can never say what im truly feeling...i need to keep it inside...but as of today i am looking for a new job...i cant handle it anymore...because of my dislike for my boss im taking things out on my coworkers and i know thats not right...but no matter what i say, it doesnt make a difference...my boss is still a moron and useless, she cant do her work and she complains about it to me, and then gives me sarcasm...but hey shit rolls down hill...and i guess im at the bottom...i like my job, i just dont like my boss...ive been at my job for 5 1/2 yrs and this is the first time ive actually considered leaving...so now im on the search for a new job to start over...oh well, im young enough....**not happy today at all...:(
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**lonely, sad, concerned, useless, good for one thing, naive, lost....**so many emotions....**
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*why do people say they are looking for a certain someone and they really arent...im starting to think that people say things just to get into your pants...if thats what your after than just say that, dont hide, admit what you are after...so does it make you more of a man to deceive, i think not...but then im a subbie, so i guess my thoughts dont count...but then my thoughts should since im the one your trying to control, guide, teach and command...im smarter than you think, i will figure things out...im so tired of fakes and liars....dont waste my time....?
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**thank god its friday and i have a 3 day weekend...i plan on doing some work around my house...maybe paint my living room...keep myself busy and out of trouble...thats always a good thing...i hope everyone has a safe holiday weekend...**
*smiles*
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**do you know why subbies go back and forth from being owned and not....its because the Dom's in their lives act a certain way and then they change, especially in the beginning...and then we dont know what the hell to do...you cause our emotions to go on a roller coaster...sometimes not explaining yourself, so we are left with the feeling of confusion...and you wonder why we are not quick to share our feelings...most men dont understand a womans emotions or feelings....apparantly we have too many or feel to much...we are an emotional creature...so we go inside ourselves, keeping things, so we dont get hurt....but then when we think we are safe, we let our guard down, and whammy, hurt again...you build us up to tear us down...**
big sighs....sadness is with me today.... |
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*hurt, confused, upset, lost, crushed.... |
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well its monday...why do mondays start off pourly...
ok, i think im having one of those emotional days.. i think im taking everything to heart and i shouldnt...people just make things so hard, why...life can be easy if you let it...of course there will be a few bumps in the road, but overall, its just a ride we are on.. enjoy it or get off...your choice...
my thoughts are running together this morning, so i think i will regroup and come back later...
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*i wish i could trust people and what they tell me...but its so hard....every day is a challenge....one day i know i will be happy... |
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*life is difficult at times...never knowing whats the truth or a lie...people telling you one thing and then another...whats up and whats down...
i must say i have some really awesome friends in my life...to my friends i confide in (you know who you are)...thank you for listening to me....
every day is one step closer to your happiness...but only you can make it a happy journey....remember to always keep your head up....live, love and learn.....but dont be afraid to try...
*smiles* |
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2nd times a charm...lets see if i can remember what i put down...or maybe i should sum it up this time...
ok, the long and short of it....why is appearance a major factor with people? why isnt inner beauty...i cant tell you how many times ive heard "you have a pretty face, but if you lost some weight you would be even prettier"....ummm hello people i would still be the same person...why cant you accept me for me...
why is it people tend to say one thing and do another. or they expect you to be open and honest and then when you want that in return it sounds like your talking greek or something....its all about honesty people....and dont say one thing one minute and say ok, thats it, thats all the truth and then come back later and give more truth....hello, still hiding stuff and not being honest....and you wonder why i get upset...ummm now the guard is up...lets be real here...
ok i will step of my box for now...but i will be back shortly...
*smiles*
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**ok, i just typed a big long journal entry and the darn thing doesnt show, what the heck... |
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*today was a long day, but i made it thru with the help of good company...i shared a lot of thoughts and feelings today and it felt pretty good...not too much to say right now, too many thoughts again, running thru my head..
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its a new day....all in all my weekend was pretty good...its always good to talk and communicate your thoughts, ideas, & feelings.....you feel much better when you do...this goes for Doms and subs....everyone needs to know they have someone they can talk to...sorta like therapy but for free..*giggles*....but my guard is still up and my emotions are still there...but i do feel better....
have a great day to everyone....*smiles*
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life is really funny...i think im easily swayed...or gullible....actually i know what it is...im looking for that one person who will love me and when im told they will, i naturally believe them..but maybe i shouldnt...its an awful feeling to want to feel accepted..and you feel theres no place for you, except as a fuck....i think most of the people out there dont know a genuinely giving person, or they take the sincereness and use it against them.. i think now im just disheartened that i cant meet someone who really wants me and wants to get to know me...and isnt a player or isnt out for just sex or what not..there is more to this lifestyle than that...dont get me wrong i enjoy the intimacy...but being accepted as a woman is more important...i want my man to be controlling over me, i want him to tell me what to wear, i want him to worry about me, make me check in....and then i want him and i to explore sexually...i want to know its ok to let my wall down, to let someone in and not feel like im always going to get hurt or let me know im beautiful...i know that beauty is something within and you should feel it first before you go out and meet someone, but when youve been critisized your whole life you tend not to see the good even in yourself because there is always self doubt...
now i know im rambling, i have entirely to many thoughts and emotions today...i dont even know where to begin....*sighs* |
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**big sighs**....sometimes i just cant do anything right.... |
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today is just one of those days...i think we all have them....but im sure a good flogging would help, relieve my thoughts.... |
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decisions are the hardest to make...especially when you dont really want to make the choice that will end up hurting...no one likes the pain, but sometimes its necessary....hopefully the decisions that are made are for the best, but only time will tell.... |
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**feelings for the day**....confused, why cant people ask for what they want...or if they dont want you to do something..it creates less confusion later...and life is too damn short...for me its simple, just tell me what you do or dont want me to do...but dont get mad at me if you havent told me something...im not a mind reader....grrrrr.... |
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**you know i never thought i would like this journal thing, but im starting to like it alot...its a great place to jot down thoughts and ideas..**
today i think is one of those days that are full of thoughts...my thoughts are consuming me right at the moment and i have no other venue but here to release them...i have friends who will listen, but its not the same..my thoughts tend to run away with me, which i know is not a good thing, but it happens...and i cant stop them...its like playing that what if game and always getting a wrong answer so you keep playing the game...i dont know... |
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question: how honest do people really want you to be? seems like people want you to be honest and then when you are, you get in trouble...no win situation...just food for thought something to think about...im just lost in thoughts today...dont mind me.... |
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communication is a big key in any relationship...whether it be as friends, lovers, or mates...on my journey i have found that communication can be a freeing experience..it makes a person feel so much better and lighter once you get whats on your chest or mind out in the open....my journey has now been taken to the next level with my very intrigueing man...i also know ive become closer to him due to our communication break thru...*big smiles* |
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im still continueing on my journey with an enlightening man. He is a breath of fresh air, not your typical man, which makes him stand out among the rest. our journey is still in progress and it gets better every day. *smiles*http://www.collarspace.com/htmlarea/smileys/0009.gif" align=absMiddle border=0> |
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*an update to my profile...ive been seeing a wonderful Man and each day that we are together i learn a little more...im enjoying my journey....*big smiles* |
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