slushpuppy

Collarme has never felt as much as a meat market before. And I've been here for years, albeit not with this profile.

I've put up comments about play partners before and still been able to network and meet new friends.

This time how ever every other message is deleted unread (how tacky) or just opened and not replied to.

What does this tell us about the quality of the users? When it clearly says "looking for friendship" in the preferences and there is no chance of "getting the sub" the dom is just not interested. Very sad. But it makes me relieved I didn't get involved with tat particular dom in the first place.   

When the student is ready, the teacher will appear. 

I've had many teachers over the years. A few of them I have met through this very website. GM swooped in and saved my life when I really needed it. Daddy appeared and lead me to bliss and love, and made me realize I can grow, that I deserve to. J taught me that following instinct and passion is important, but I also learned there has to be a balance. And now Nimja. I have a feeling we're in for a rough ride but I have already discovered so many lovely things. I have already begun to understand that jealousy is not only a bad emotion. 

And so I am home, a long train trip and a very grouchy person sitting across from me later. The trip was all the more bearable for the really cute and warm girl sitting down next to me half the trip. She had good taste in books too! 

Had some particularly interesting thoughts on independence and control issues on the ride over! Anyway, anyone who eagerly anticipated me coming back to the Hague... Lucky you! ;-)

My new year resolution was to write more. So I've written a little poem about my jinxed line of Daddies. Yes, I do have Daddy issues, stepDaddy issues and D/s Daddy issues.

Maybe my next Daddy will be different. But oh, when I talk to Daddy and step into his (mental) embrace its like stepping into heaven.

Daddy never wanted me.

Daddy did his best.

Daddy never talks to me but he lives inside my chest.

Daddy put me back together.

Daddy made me whole.

Daddy put up with all my shit and stepped up to his role.

Daddy stole my innocence.

Daddy stole my heart.

Daddy stole my peace of mind and made me fall apart.

Daddy took another's place.

Daddy kept us safe.

Daddy stabbed his knife at me and now my Daddy chafes.

Daddy was looking after me.

Daddy didnt let me know.

Daddy thought I saw it coming but it was quite a blow.

It was an eventful night, even though I stayed in. So many sirens as soon as they started with the fireworks 11.30, and when the kids in the street reached new highs in their shouting and 12.30 ruckus I had to see what it was all about. Turns out the little b**tards had made a very large fire in the middle of the street! I didn't predict a house was going to catch on fire very soon, but since the street is 4-5 meters wide and the fire easilly 2 meters wide and the kids kept throwing on fuel, excellerants and firecrakers I thought something had to be done. 

The local police department how ever thought it was more urgent than me becuase a firetruck was here 5 minutes later. 15 minutes after that came a truck to clean up the debris of the fire. I am very impressed with the emergency services all of the sudden!

I hope everyone had a less eventful new years eve than me, or more eventful in different less destructive ways! Blessings and well wishes on you all, may all your dreams for the coming year come true, And may the best of 2010 be the worst of 2011!

I'm a little bit frustrated right now, but I hope I don't write this in a negative or pessimistic way. It's not meant to come over as such.

I know I am "real", and I assume the same about others.

Ok, if I had a professionally made picture of a super sexy, fetish dressed, tight, hot, bimbo slut I can understand it. But I don't, so I really do not understand the overwhelmind "need" with webcam verification.

I don't need you to verify that you are a human being. The things I would like verified like experiences you claim to have had and so on, is not possible to verify anyway.

I am a human being and so are you. Let's leave it at that, get to know one another to see if we're compatible and meet up. Online games are not interesting to me.

Disclaimer: "You" in this message is a completely fictional pronoun, referring to anyone and no one in particular.

Have a great evening tonight, and best wishes for the new year!