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Live life with integrity and dignity, or perhaps consider politics.
Greetings from Southern California
Life is too short for games.
A lot of people are hung up on ownership/servitude types of relationships. Ask yourself this question. If this lifestyle were to vanish overnight, would the person you own or the person who owns you be as appealing to you in a vanilla world? Could you be friends, lovers, and even equals? A lifelong commitment goes deeper than just the kink. If you can't have real emotions, and/or real attachments, what's the point?
Then again, the way this country is so screwed up right now, even politics isn't attractive anymore.
The most important thing that a Dominant should know is not how to handle a submissive, but to know the difference between being dominant and being domineering. You handle a gun, or you handle a car, but you cultivate a submissive. Submission is a gift, and a good Dominant knows how to show his appreciation by caring for and guarding that submission with his life. A man or woman cannot take control of a submissive lest he/she knows what self truly represents. And one must also realize he cannot "Take" control... The submissive/slave makes a conscious decision to give up her mind, body, and soul to the Dominant. He has no mysterious power of thought that can will another to his service.
To those Doms that read my profile and make idiotic comments, I have nothing to prove to anyone, and needs no validation of the trait that has been with him since birth. Some dominants have suppressed that trait for so long that when it emerges they become confused, and their true purpose can't be recognized. So run along and impress someone else. It doesn't work here.
To the subs that restrict themselves to local only, remember one thing - what you want may live up the street, but what is ordained for you might be on the other side of the country. Do you want to live for the moment, or for your destiny. That's why man created trains, planes, and automobiles.
Every relationship has a starting point. Here's another comment that will make lifestylers cringe. I am looking for more than service. If my submissive/slave couldn't be my friend in the vanilla world, how could we expect to have any type of relationship in BDSM? My lifestyle and place in my community requires that these two things be kept separate. So the lady under my power behind closed doors, will be the same one at my side at public events.
By the way, if you wish to know how I function in the real world, I am a retired entertainer. You can hear samples of my work, and see videos at XHTTPX//www.youtube.com/user/bigleecalif
Peace to all... Protective
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