I now have a girl, my girl.....and we are living a DD HOH relationship.
The long search has come to an end.
2014 I am in essence a Disciplinarian, I prefer a DD relationship based around HOH. It has been a long journey learning this fact, understanding who and what I am and where my heart is. But I am finally there I think, though there is still far more to learn.
Alright…..well I felt it was about time I said a little more about myself, and perhaps came out from behind the wall that I have used to protect me.
Wow….first revelation right there……. a Dom that needs a wall and needs protection.
How often we all forget that we are all human, and all have emotions and can be hurt.
I used to have an Ego…..then I outgrew it and couldn’t find a size big enough to fit my over inflated view of myself. So I opted for a puncture, and now I feel so much better.
So my Dom Brothers, if you feel the need to bang your clenched fists on your chest and proclaim your superiority. Please do it else where, as I opt to go to the zoo for such things, and talk to the silver backs there.
I have in the past, fought to be accepted and respected within the lifestyle. But really, that is somewhat impossible.
There are so many people in this lifestyle and it is impossible that all will accept you. And why would you want that………. I am happy to be me now, I have my friends and acquaintances, I even have some admirer’s….God bless them all.
I don’t need to be feared and held upon a pedestal….. I have been there and a fell off and hurt myself and others in the process……. Lesson learned …….and so we move onto the next.
So then what am I ????
I am a Dom ……….because this is a part of my make up. I feel it inside of me in everything I do, no matter how mundane.
I do not go to clubs or play parties, I do not go to munches or attend events.
This is not because I do not agree with such things, it has just never appealed to me.
To me this lifestyle is something personal, it is a private thing, shared between two people who learn to love and respect each other.
I have trained and mentored others in my way, and at times I have played. But in all cases there has been a friendship and a respect first and foremost.
To me this is a life, and therefore a lifestyle. A lot may seem mundane….. vanilla if you will. And yet that is all a part of the whole.
It is not something that can be switched off and on as a switch…… I have tried that also, I gave up pursuit of D/s for love, because it was necessary……..and I failed.
……again, we live and we learn.
I have friends in the lifestyle, both online and directly (I hesitate to use the words ‘real life’ as to me all is real in its own way)
Some I have known for many years, and I have a great deal of respect for all of them, whether they be sub, slave, Dom or Domme.
They may go to clubs but they understand and accept that that is not my way, it is that acceptance of the differences, that to me is a big part of the whole.
I do not see one as being less or lower in any way to another, all to me are equal and all are diverse and unique.
While I may wish to ‘own’ another, and I highlight that word, because it is important to understand that one can not truly own another in the literal sense, unless of course you are a slave trader. In which case you need throwing in the clink for a very long time.
But one can be ‘owned’ in the sense that one freely gives to another as much or as little as they are comfortable giving. And it is giving….. it cannot be taken against the will of the other, for that is abuse.
As you can see by this erratic logic…I don’t conform to any preconceived formula, I am me, I have my faults and I have my strengths……….. I am human……….If you want to know more then please just ask. I don’t bite often.
