chiyo

the square root
of a butterfly
flapping His wings
a thousand miles away -
the sum of my existence. 

the gentlest caress
of His brilliant steal will
driving me to slushie pick ups
and manual transmittion overloads. 

tight rope binding
tables of devotion
with black mark scribbles
picture perfect insanity. 

slam fucking energized
to create a new world
over patent worthy pancakes,
inspiration at the cost of flesh. 

knocking on the door
of His otherworldliness.
raw with zombie lust
i have never ridden this fast.

~chiyo

To be completely woman you need a master, and in him a compass for your life. You need a man you can look up to and respect. If you dethrone him it's no wonder that you are discontented, and discontented women are not loved for long. 
~ Marlene Dietrich

A man has to learn that he cannot command things, but that he can command himself; that he cannot coerce the wills of others, but that he can mold and master his own will: and things serve him who serves Truth; people seek guidance of him who is master of himself. 
~James Allen

Only one who devotes himself to a cause with his whole strength and soul can be a true master. For this reason mastery demands all of a person.
~Albert Einstein

Look at the means which a man employs, consider his motives, observe his pleasures. A man simply cannot conceal himself!
~Confucius

I want you to be everything that's you, deep at the center of your being.
~Confucius

In the practical art of war, the best thing of all is to take the enemy's country whole and intact; to shatter and destroy it is not so good.
~Sun Tzu

Be extremely subtle, even to the point of formlessness. Be extremely mysterious, even to the point of soundlessness. Thereby you can be the director of the opponent's fate.
~Sun Tzu

So i just watched the memorial for the victims of the Arizona tragedy with President Obama speaking.  It was a highly moving address and regardless of my personal politics ... i felt the message was really fantastic.  About finding common ground rather than accusation ... about honoring the amazing lives that were represented in the horrific situation. 

i think for me the most haunting stories were the two Men ... one a former Marine ... who threw themselves in the way of the hail of bullets to try to save their wives.  Their protective instincts kicking in immediately to protect what was theirs ... what they loved.  That kind of love ... that devotion ... that protection ... must be staggering to experience.  In a moment of absolutely unthinkable violence those two Men did not hesitate but acting to give the most protective and selfless gesture possible ... their life offered willingly, unflinchingly for the one they were most responsible for...

Astounding ...

It's amazing how music touches our souls isn't it?  It's cold here in New England and a conversation today is haunting this exceedingly silent night ... so i'm seeking my solace in the only "safe" arms around ...

~One Republic

So hard to start over giving all the secrets away ... Hopefully it's warm where You are ...

~chiyo

Had an amazing conversation today ...

Was discussing my writing with a Dom from cm today and the habit i have of writing and then destroying the work so that others can not read it.  i told Him that it was too expensive.  He asked what i meant and i explained that the experiences that drive my writing had cost me enormously.  i have a very difficult time opening something so precious up to the speculation and critique of just anyone.  Certainly my work is born from a far more tender place than the reader will understand and ... let's face it ... it's easy to be critical and ruthless.   So hard to be vulnerable.  i have concluded again that i am somewhat of a coward ... ~smiles~

At any rate, He mentioned Anais Nïn.  She is a particular favorite of mine so i thought in tribute to her and that highly provocative conversation i'd post my favorite quote from her (though it's a tad overused these days)

"I do not want to be the leader. I refuse to be the leader. I want to live darkly and richly in my femaleness. I want a man lying over me, always over me. His will, his pleasure, his desire, his life, his work, his sexuality the touchstone, the command, my pivot. I don't mind working, holding my ground intellectually, artistically; but as a woman, oh, God, as a woman I want to be dominated. I don't mind being told to stand on my own feet, not to cling all that I am capable of doing but I am going to be pursued, fucked, possessed by the will of a male at his time, his bidding." ~ Anais Nïn

~chiyo

really?  Really?  REALLY??? Solicitations of money are so bad on this site that it has to show in red on the top of the pages - Don't send money to anyone?  Whoa!  That's ... sad. 

So i suppose after a random sampling of feedback i've gotten regarding my journal posts ... a few clarifications are in order.

*i really am not so much into puppy play ... my entry was more about how that would work on a practical level and to be honest, it made me laugh.  It's not that i'm not obedient if my Master wants me to puppy play with Him but i confess ... trying to bark just makes me giggle!

*i've been lucky i suppose that of all the messages i've recieved only two have been "corrective" or negative so i would like to at least clarify two things.

-the opinions, views, statements, observations shared on my profile are only -my- opinions and are only meant to reflect a personal message.  If your self description of a Dom or sub does not match mine, you have my upmost respect and i wish You well on Your -journey-.  i in no way am trying to imply that my definitions are the "last word" on the subject and i admit i'm ever evolving in my own convictions.  That being said, it would be lovely to simply agree to disagree and move on.  Maybe listen to some good music to restore the zen if my words have too badly disrupted Your personal groove - i assure You it was unintentional!

-i get bored rather easily in some of my daily routines and i often browse the site from my blackberry when i'm killing time.  My blackberry does not allow me to direct reply to messages and of course on a bb i have to text each letter of my reply - a good deal more arduous task than sitting at my keyboard, banging out 100 words a minute.  Alas, the is my techinical reality coupled with my silly vanity of having nails that further slow down my texting speed.  If i do not respond promptly i implore Your patience and trust that You will find it's not a lack of manners on my part as much as it is techinical and personal challenges.  i will try to respond in a reasonably timely manner.  Also if i am on my bb i can not indulge in chat requests.  Let's exchange some messages and if we are both so inclined we can move to yahoo or some other suitable venue of Your choice.  Your understanding is coveted.

Thank you,

~chiyo

sketchy ...

i have a new puppy.  He's a blast ... strangely calm disposition ... eyes to melt your heart and ummm still questionable toilet habits (hey!  he's a puppy, ya'll).  He has a champion pedigree and will be shown when he gets a bit older.  So yesturday i'm talking to his trainer about his potty issue and she got really rather over stimulated, telling me about the "perfect" training method for my sweet boy's *cough* issues. 

It's called "umbilical training" (allegedly) and to be really honest the name alone almost set me off with inappropriate laughter.  You put a collar on the puppy in question and hook it to a leash that you then hook to your belt and keep the dog on an "umbilical" when he is in the house.  You take him out to do his business then he gets off the leash for some serious wubba time (wubba's are great toys - foul after they've been chewed on a while).  He goes back on the "umbilical" when you go back inside. 

The theory seems to be that you will pay closer attention to the puppy and his urges if he is shackled to you all day with this unearthly "umbilical".  Frankly i'm just not sure if she was pulling my leg to see if i'd actually tell other people i was "umbilical training" for her own wicked entertainment or if it's for real.  i hate to sound paranoid but it's really rather richly bizarre in my book ... just saying ...

What does this have to do with bdsm?  i just have two words for you ... "puppy play" ...

think about it.

~chiyo

So today when i went to my get my nails done (pink & white french manicure) i had an odd experience ... it was one of those things that make you go hrm moments.  i had just gotten my nails done and i was back in my car and getting ready to leave the parking lot right?  And this song i love by Jason Aldean came on my cd player, "She's Country" (keeping in mind i'm a southern girl misplaced way up here in New England and my accent stands out like a sore thumb) SOOOO it's entirely obligatory for me to rock it out and crank up the volume to a completely indecent level  i also happened to be brushing my hair at the time (car was NOT moving) and in the throes of my jam, i start singing like i AM somebody (total diva quality here) into my hairbrush.  i'm all kinds of lost in the moment when i look up and see two guys sitting in the car diagonal and in front of me laughing so hard that they could barely breath - at ME! 

Not only was i shocked and nearly indignant that i could inspire such mirth i have to ask myself the question ... were they laughing because i was singing to my hairbrush or because i was singing country music or because of my accent?  Hrmmmmm

~chiyo