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sakura
 Eternal
Hetero Female Submissive, 29, New York 

Seeking a lifestyle relationship that incorporates elements of D/s fulltime. I maintain an open mind in general, but I find simple D/s more fulfilling because it is more real to me than most "roleplaying" that some like, but again, I have an open mind and heart. I have found that most limitations become softer depending upon the emotions shared between the Dominant and submissive, but one HARD limit for me is EMOTIONAL PAIN! this means if you are polyamorous, i am NOT interested!!!!

I do not wish to share or be shared. I prefer very posessive dominants. If I am not special to you, then my desire to submit will weaken and ultimately I will choose to move on. The level of intimacy I seek can not be achieved outside the confines of monogamy. I have a pretty hardcore spanking fetish but have found myself interested in many things that pleased the person I was with if I loved them. I am really only interested in R/t so if you are too far from nyc to meet with me, please dont waste our time. I might consider moving for the right person, but the possibility of that rightness would have to be apparent very quickly. Do NOT ask me to switch or i will just ignore you. If your ad does not have a photo, be prepared to send me one. Looks may not be everything, but they sure are hard to ignore. You have already seen a picture of me. If you are so arrogant as to think that I should speak with you prior to seeing your picture, then we will not get along. You may make the mistake of confusing arrogance and selfishness with Dominance, I do not.
Until something has evolved between us, which cannot happen if I am not able to view your image, you are nothing but a stranger to me. If you have the silly attitude that all subs should submit to all persons who call temselves doms, then our philosophies will not be a match. My submission is reserved for He whom I offer it to, who is not every wannabe dominant I may meet online. If I sound a bit jaded, well, if you have been online for a while you will understand. If you are not put off by my words, feel free to contact me... expect someone who can be more pleasant than may be thought by this profile. oh, one more thing... My age is none of your business until my feelings tell me otherwise. I am over 18 and not yet on social security. If you have hangups about age, thats your problem not mine. My name is Eternal... yes, really. ps: i have found it necessary to reiterate this: I do not wish to speak with anyone who does not have a picture to share with me. If you prefer to get to know me before privileging me with your image, then i have no interest in getting to know you, so that brings us to a stale mate. Do not waste my time and yours writing to me if you do not have a picture readily available. If your plan is to create one, then please do so prior to contacting me. Chemistry is important to me. Appearance is a stepping stone in that direction. If you dont agree, thats fine, but again, I am not interested in talking about it, no picture, no communication. period. ps: emails limited to "Hi!" or "How are you?" and "Whats up?" or "Hows it going?" will be ignored.
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      The Democratic Dom: While it might sound like an oxymoron this Dominant is one who controls by agreement. Limitations, conditions, safe words, and times & places are all agreed upon beforehand and strictly adhered to.  Discussions between the Dom and sub are the norm and written contracts are not unheard of.     Punishment is both a training tool and very often a reward. It is dispensed by the Dom to achieve or reinforce a certain behavior in his sub and at the same time as a pleasurable (sexual) stimulation for the sub. While both punishment and reward may be two distinct areas in the relationship, many times the lines .     Submissives who are attracted to these situations are those who want the same agreed condition and especially the limitations. They can be called feisty, bad little girls, spoiled, hard to tame, because they like to challenge the limits and/or rules. Or because they have certain fears.     This can be a game area where fun supersedes the Dominant/submissive operative. The Dominant and submissive like the actual and varied activities and enjoy each other when participating in them. In many cases the submissive does not actually want to surrender but likes playing as if she does.     These relationships seem to be less long term, as this is the area where “thrill seekers” usually reside. Many like this type of situation since it is a convenient and safe way to play with D/s. It is fun and it makes it easy to feel like they are indeed practicing D/s. These same people while enjoying D/s related scenes are not as into the emotional side of dominance and submission as are others.     On the other hand this type also serves a very good purpose, acting as a safe passage into other variations of D/s, or for learning, especially among those who are doing this for the first time with someone new, or they are trying it for the first time ever. After some experience is gained in D/s activities these people begin to learn the “rules of the road”, so to speak. Sometimes leading to a more intimate and stronger D/s relationship.      
DOMINANT WOMEN BEWARE! Well, Mr. Beenhere25yearsandf*ckingwithdominantwomen contacted Me again.  I have a feeling he has made a full time job of this shinnanigans.  Contacts women or waits to be contacted, then has a 3 month relation, then disappears due to multiple guardians (LOL), dual citizenship (USA/UK), testing on his ALIEN DNA (LOL), OH LORD the list and LIES gooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooe ON AND ON!  Then someone else contacts you, given your name from Mr. Mindf*ck, and you quickly realize it is the same person!  Back and forth, round and round, LIES AND MORE LIES.  Emails from yahoo, aol, gmail (his favorite) and forget about it now that AI and ChatGPT have arrived.  He is a vertible keyboard warrior.  Dont be fooled if given a phone number.  You'll work for it, oh yes indeed and it will again be a series of shoots and ladders!  He is a L I A R, F R A U D and he even has ropped in a person or two for his mind games.  Can you imagine somone playing at this over 25 years?! If I have said it once, I've said it 100 times - verify verify verify and don't put one ounce of effort into another submissive man until HE PROVES HIMSELF TO YOU!  Phone, in-person VERIFICATION.  And this goes for the other wankers as well.  Even the ones who send a copy of license and passport.  Only in person, face to face, contracts signed and skin in the game proves a mans worth.
I am so very happy the Journals are back on collarspace.  Music..... Dont fear the reaper  FIRE.....................
When you slip into the darkness  When you fall from grace Will it hurt as bad as they say? Or will it wake up hidden dreams? Can one transmute pain into pleasure? Can the Fallen One really give you something for your soul?  Will I ever truly wake up to the truth?  If so who's truth am I gonna believe?  Which path is better for me to travel? Staying in the middle is hard.... After all they say it's one or the other. Can't I blend into a new being. A silver being. A being of tranquility and adventure?  I'm a Woman. I'm a rebel. I'm a sweetheart. I can be cold and closed off. I can be lovely.  When will I get the help I seek? No not a man to control me. I don't need that.  No a therapist either, I already have that.  There's something missing... A piece of me that has been ripped out and left a hole. This hole doesn't fill because I don't know what was there to begin with.  When you let others dictate your life, you lose yourself and wrap yourself in their ideas of you. But when you wake up.... Well you realize you don't and we're not what they said you were.  Do you or will you ever find yourself again under the mess?  Will the light shine or do I keep my eyes shut and stay in the dark.  I love them all.... Yet I love no one... I guess I'm a contradiction 
Seeking a trustworthy slave/submissive, preferably masochist, in or around Celina Ohio, interested in service involving care of my cats while I'm frequently away from home.  Would have to be able to provide photos and videos of my cats since I will miss them so very much. On average once a week for my cats and then as our schedules allow for other bdsm activities together. 
We are now in the land of 2022  And even now after all of these years, at least on Collarme, whoops I meant to write Collarspace the thing that pisses people off the most is not what one would expect.  I think we all had our share of quote, unquote BOT PROFILES or that one LMAO several fake Doms, Dommes, or anyone for that matter The punctuation and grammar grid is irritating as hell at times.  But of all of these and some, I have not pointed out.   The biggest ASSHAT of them all is trying to keep your profile CURRENT with new information, likes or dislikes, and even updated photos.   I dare any to disagree with me, especially reading some profiles lately how some have been locked out of their accounts still PENDING approval, LIKE WTF is really going on??? One of the main reasons even as a DaddyDom I am afraid to update my account, this is supposed to be a joke but I am serious as an old man busting a nut, a heart attack!!! But I digress...
I seek RT, TPE With subs and or slaves who have power to voluntarily concede. Who are successful in their professional lives, and personal lives and can spoil Me with everything they are, loyalty,  time, attention, and all it entails. Anyone else need not to apply. Thanks for your patience for those messages clear and consice messages how you are going to accomplish to serve Me and make My life better in doing so if chosen and more so to those messages with attached recent, clear, photos of yourselves I do not get to. And for your participation to those who try (and fail) and those who almost make it but don’t. 
Many find what they are looking for right before they tuck tail and run. They can spend their entire life living in fantasy because they are weak and fake. They all know who they are as I never block them. I'll spend my life doing and actually living it because I am real. I don't have fantasy. Only reality.
For some reason..I have been thinking about how a world of Forced Workouts mixes with Feeder/Feedee situations.. Full muscles..meet full stomach. She would have me submit my daily workout to her via email in a a format She could edit. It would be sent back to me before I arrive at the gym with Her modificaitons. More reps, more weight, more cardio. After the workout i would have to provide evidence of completion. Then post workout protein shakes.SHAKES. Whole milk. Full scoop whey protein. five? six? what's the number it will take? THEN..forced cardio on the treadmill.  Could be fun..if Abs are you thing.  
Ich + Ich - So soll es bleiben   Ich warte schon so langeAuf den einen MomentIch bin auf der SucheNach hundert ProzentWann ist es endlich richtigWann macht es einen SinnIch werde es erst wissenWenn ich angekommen bin Ich will sagenSo soll es seinSo kann es bleibenSo hab ich es mir gewünschtAlles passt perfekt zusammenWeil endlich alles stimmtUnd mein Herz gefangen nimmt Wenn es da ist, werd ich feiernIch weiß, da ist noch mehrEs liegt noch so viel vor mirIch lauf noch hinterherBis jetzt fühl ich nur die HälfteVon allem, was gehtIch muss noch weitersuchenWeil immer noch was fehlt Ich will sagen:So soll es seinSo kann es bleibenSo hab ich es mir gewünschtAlles passt perfekt zusammenWeil endlich alles stimmtUnd mein Herz gefangen nimmt Ich weiß nicht, wo du bistOder wo du wohnstAber eins ist sicherDass es sich lohntIch bete jede NachtDass ich dich finde Und du sagstSo soll es seinSo kann es bleibenSo hab ich es mir gewünschtAlles passt perfekt zusammenWeil endlich alles stimmt So soll es seinSo kann es bleibenGenau so ist es gutAlles passt perfekt zusammenWeil endlich alles in mir ruht Yeah...Oh...Yeah...Oh...Yeah... So soll es seinSo kann es bleibenSo hab ich es mir gewünschtAlles passt perfekt zusammenWeil endlich alles stimmtUnd mein Herz gefangen nimmt    
A submissive is one who chooses each and every time if he /she will submit.  A submissive often comes with a list of his / her restrictions and requirements.  While a true slave is one who comes to serve in the manner in which the Mistress desires. A true slave makes the decision to submit one time for always.  A true slave may have desires, dreams,  and  fantasies but he / she is not selfish and he / she relinquish their selfishness to serve the Dominant.   It takes a very strong person to live the life of being a slave to another.  To observe a slave growing and one day to see him /her become the perfected specimen  in which the Domme  has created is the goal. The submission of a slave is very admirable.  I seek that slave! The one who will serve Me always, under My safe keeping, and owned  by Me.   
I was up in the Seattle area recently, and although Seattle has many more opportunities to engage in kink, being there once again gave me a newfound appreciation for Ashland (where I currently reside, not the coast as noted in my profile). I mean, most of the gay and bi-sexual men in the area are married to women and refer to themselves as "heteroflexible," even though they engage in actual sex with men, but that's their closet, not mine. Nor do I have to submit to being their, as Blondie puts it, "Sugar on the Side."
* ISO of a decent, naturally submissive gentleman to grow old with in a committed LTR relationship * NOT interested in horndogs, freak shows, married and cheating, online anything, pay to plays, or anything else subpar  * just want a great guy who is submissive by nature, who knows his place in a FLR with whom to share My life * NO drama, excuses, or BS * am seeking a quality submissive man ready to settle down and enjoy life with a truly Dominant Woman in a D/s relationship * not willing to settle for less
  A day in service    I rise at dawn, my body sore, To chores and tasks, and much, much more. The floor I scrub, the dust I chase, A flick of the wrist, a stern command sets the pace.   Her coffee brewed, just so, just right, I dare not fail, in morning's light. Her silk robe flows, a queenly sight, I bow my head, avoid her light.   The day is long, a string of tests, To prove my worth, to quell her jests. A word of praise, a precious prize, Reflected in her knowing eyes.   The afternoon, a humbler task, Her boots to clean, that's all I ask. To kneel and wipe, to polish well, The story that my movements tell.   The sun descends, the day is done, The final test has now begun. She summons me with one sharp look, My place is found, my writing's in a book.   Her throne awaits, a velvet chair, I crawl toward her, breathless, aware. The day's devotion finds its end, My goddess, whom I can't transcend.   Her sacred space, my final quest, My weary head upon her breast. My tongue performs the rite so true, My world is her, in every hue.
Not sure why my stump is so painful lately.  I think it might have something to do with the cold, and perhaps from the way my dog lays down against..  He used to be more gentle when he laid down. But for about 4 days he's been a bit rougher. My stump seems to shrinking some so that may be why. I  am not using a strinker of any kind on it so it is just a much different feeling. I am going to start tomorrow doing a daily massage of, it is very tight.  When  I feel stress the pain gets more severe. And yes my stress level is higher than normal. A lot is going on in my home with contractors and others and my tenant just give me grief adding more work on the workers doing the work. I am waiting to hear news from my possible attorney good or bad as well. All this stress comes in waves. So I am hoping it is all worth it and I can get passed it as quickly as possible.
Although being kidnapped by pervy aliens, it's a much cooler story. I just had to finish a big, work-related project. But I'm back! With nothing fun to talk about!  Except my birthday. It's almost my birthday and I'm so gonna throw a gotcha party.
Wow, talk about a powerful dream. I was cuffed with my hands behind my back, hands upwards (which is not something I can normally do and is uncomfortable for me) and cuffs on my ankles. I think there was some additional metal hardware on me. I couldn't move much. And my domme was putting some sort of "fur suit" over me (though I'm not into furry play at all) to prepare me for a trip to the local dungeon.) In the dream I was so turned on, I was nearly bursting out of my cage and ready to orgasm, but of course knew I'd be in trouble.  Then I woke up.
Some people should stop watching porn Lets start with this umm Master, we will call him MasterJS. He has just joined and contacted me asking if I was interested in 2 slaves as he had to get rid of them. I asked why and he said he was getting too old and he was going back to his wife and kids.  How nice to take the time to dump them off with anyone. He tells me they were house slaves and listed what they would do, severl things which are against the law.  I asked him if he or they would be paying for all that was needed for them to move to another country. He said that would be at my expence.  It is funny he blocked me but what is sad was he did not read my profile where he would have learned I am not into women.  I have also had a message almost the same conversation a while ago so my guess is this person watches too much porn.  If you cant be bothered to read my profile dont contact me and make offers.
I am a little oddly obsessed with my ears. Or rather, with having clean ears. I'm not sure why, it just is. One time I was sitting in a room full of people at a workshop and the ice breaker was what would you bring to a deserted island? As people introduced themselves and answered the question I heard all of these brilliant high brow responses. But all I could think about was there wouldn't be any Q tips on the island and I would definitely need those. Yes, I know, you're not supposed to put those in your ear. C'mon, man, who doesn't? If the answer is you, immediately stop reading this and go away, we cannot be friends.  So yeah, it's Prime Day. Do I want some fancy kitchen gadget? Probably. Did I buy a hair drying curling thing that I will likely only use twice? You know I did. But you know what else? That ear tool with the camera on the end so you can see all that inside business. And holy buckets, one day shipping! So yeah, it came in this evening and I fired that bad boy up to see just how well my Q tipping has done.  First, it takes some getting used to, the view is backwards. Oh, there's an app so you can see the camera's view on your phone. Left is right, up is down, etc. Everything looks HUGE, you will love that. But so does the wax. Mine was not bad, but with my vigilance I was expecting bare floors. Not the case. Don't worry, it wasn't much, and I officially have clean ears now, but sweet baby Jesus I cannot believe how amazing that little tool is. A clean ear keeper's dream. Ten out of ten. Go get one. Don't use it to make other things look bigger.  Is this the weirdest post so far? I'm not sure. 
Why sub men need to be feminist allies I firmly believe that any submissive man must, obviously, be a feminist. Feminism by definition is the belief that women are human beings with the same rights as any human being. (The idea that feminism is about female supremacy is propaganda created by misogynists to try to argue against women having any rights at all.) That said, submissives routinely insist that women are superior, and FemDom porn is some of the most popular BDSM porn out there. I would hope that to believe that women are superior would require that men first believe that they are equal. One of the biggest complaints I hear from subs is that there just aren't enough Dominant women in the world to go around. There's a very good reason for that. In the book I'm currently writing, I discuss how girls are raised radically different than boys. From our earliest experience, any hint of assertiveness is usually squashed as "bossy" or "aggressive" or "unfeminine" and then later as "bitchy." The terms a "good girl" is defined by are usually submissive, demure words, urging us to be quiet, polite, deferring to the pleasure of adults in general and males specifically. Blanche Black paints a very good picture of this in her Feminism 101 article, and the MetaFilter discussion "Where's My Cut" is literally thousands of women giving examples of how they were crammed into the role of caregiver with strong social, economic and even physical consequences for ing or questioning it. We are programmed from birth to be doormats, and are told we are genetically predisposed to be happy about it. To go from that upbringing to being an assertive adult is a massive undertaking. I know a majority of the women in my life never even realize that they are following roles and rules they never agreed to. It usually takes a huge life event to force that awareness on us, and then years of hard work re-creating our understanding of communication and relationships to learn to stop playing that part and instead to stand up and assert ourselves. To stop allowing others to demand and take and expect, etc, and instead start working toward taking care of ourselves first, demanding equal effort from our partners, being willing to be alone rather than be subjugated. To move into the confidence and self-reliance necessary to dominate ... that's a new world. I'm not talking about becoming a bitch who uses and abuses and negates the feelings and needs of others to get her way. I'm talking about being able to walk away from what doesn't serve us and require a higher level of interaction from anyone who wants to stay in our presence. I'm talking about being unwilling to tolerate poor behavior, from others, or from ourselves. That requires a sea change. A total re-writing of the base code that made us from our first memories. It almost never happens by accident. It almost never comes without great pain and sacrifice. It's almost always worth it. But it's always an uphill battle that never ends, because nearly the entire world we live in is still trying to tell us that we aren't being feminine, or desirable, or kind, if we aren't giving away whatever it whims to want. We are still being told that we'll be alone, that we are bitches or worse, sometimes it brings violence and poverty and suffering, because this world doesn't want women to be assertive, and it doesn't tolerate them being dominant. If you want to have dominant women, you have to start with allowing them equality. Not special privilege. Just the same privilege men have to think what they want, without being told they are failing as females. The same privilege to act for themselves and not just for others. The same choices and freedoms and safetys to exist without being attacked for it. If you want to have dominant women in the world, you have to be a feminist, and moreover, you have to be an ally. Aggressively so, because until feminist men outnumber and overwhelm the rest, you are going to have to counteract the bullshit message the rest are constantly putting out there telling us to SUBMIT! You, submissive male, must be the active agent that makes the safe space for every woman to express her thoughts and feelings and wants and to act on them without recrimination. You will have to stand up to other men, because they don't hear it when we say it. You will have to call out your friends when they catcall or mansplain or talk over a woman or _(insert male domineering behavior here____) to a woman. I'm not saying that every woman you do this for will become a Dominant Woman. I am saying that almost no women can without it, and if nothing else, you can make the first steps in that direction less of a battle for them. Go forth, and create the world that lets us first become people, equal and unencumbered, and Dominant Women will become ever more common, until almost every submissive male that wants one can find one.
A little help for those who blindly send messages. Hint- not looking for single male slaves, single male subs, single male switches. If the package does not come complete with a natural grown vigina with the male, I am not interested. In all my years I have not met a male that I was sexually atracted to in any way "EVER". If your a money slave and want to blindly hand over cash, sure I will glad take it from you. Just know that I will have no real interest in you at all. Now if your interested in me making furniture for your Owner/Dominant, sure I would be glad to help.  Other wise your mail will go directely to the trash.
Need someone to care . . . about me . .and give love 1st  and build that . . .not only care about sex  . . . so down and hurting and more bad just keeps coming in life . . .so need someone to be here 
Misty mornings may multiplyBringing bashful beginnings beforeThe tainted teasingsOf our ocularEyes. Everything else evolves, evenLife. Love listfully lingers like lust...Bursting bubbles beneath boiling basesOf our ocular omens:Misty mornings. Mayi idle in idolizationOfYou~ dirtydarling
Hi Some people have said I send them cut and paste because of the way I write.  I write everything new, personally to each person.One person I wrote to 3 times accused me of being a scammer-fake because I only wrote about myself in the third message, whereas the previous two had been about why she appealed to me and why I felt we might fit well.  Then she blocked me.   Stop judging me as if I am another carbon copy of some one dimensional person you once knew or have heard about.I may not be the ideal dominant for you, I may say things in a way that seems odd or offensive, but maybe it is only a matter of interpretation of static written messages. I am Here on Collarspace because I seek a special woman to share a long-term life with.   As I sincerely intend to live that life neither being deceitful or offensive will achieve my goal.So be genuine, sincere, honest and able to communicate in a meaningful mannerMy desire to hear your voice and see your face is not about photo collecting (the web has millions of photos of women in all state of dressed and undressed if I wanted that) or harassing you.When you speak to a person face to face you already have given him more information about you and he has a better opportunity to threaten your peaceful life.   Why interpret my desire for more personal interaction as evil when humans are made to understand and assess people with voice inflection, visual clues of facial expression and body language?Yes there Are real evil shits in the world, some on this site no doubt.   You meet sociopaths, psychopaths and other 'people' with incomplete minds and souls all the time and actually invite them into your life.Yet you take offense when I suggest that after positive written conversation we progress to voice and visual? I seek a real life, unequal power relationship.   Simple concept.   It has to be mutually beneficial or the woman cannot feel free to share all of herself with me.  
Hey everyone!  subMeghan here... As always, as required by my dom, I need to announce to you all that as I type this I am naked wearing only my dog collar... Just a quick journal entry.  My dom and I just finished an awesome puppygirl session and I have been informed that I was was a very good girl!  Yay!  Now my dom has decided to reward me and is using a vibrator on me right now.. He thinks it would be funny to watch me try and type as he is pleasuring my pusssy. However, he said I can't cum until I finish this journal.  He is watching me type this and laughing at me.  Good thing I have spell check!  Ha!  I am not allowed to speak to him, if I want to say something to him I must type it here. My dom says to tell you if I'm a horney slut.  Yes, I am a horney slut!  Please my I come? He says not yet.  Damn!  he has turned up vibrator. he knows what i like/  He says type louder.  OK, I AM SUBMEGHAN I WANT EVERYONE TO KNOW THAT I AM A SUPER HORNEY SLUT!  PLEASE MAY I COME NOW, SIR!!!!!! nO?!?!  WTF!  pLEASE PLEASE PLEASE I WANT TO CUM SIR111 ok.  yes sir i'll say that, then can i cum?  my dom says show everyone that your a dumnb cunt and bark like a fuckng dog.  WOOF! WOOF! WOOF!  STUPID SUBMEGAN IS DOG!!!! i am barking thank god, ge says i can come after i say goodbye.   bye
***Rant Incoming*** This is just common courtesy. If you send me a message, I will respond to you but in a timely manner (unless this site goes down) and I can't respond. If you read my email and don't respond because you didn't like my answer, then that is your problem, not mind. Please at least have the courtesy of emailing me back saying that "You are not what I am looking for, the best of luch to you." and I will respond back "I totally understand, best of luch to you as well." Just don't fucking ghost me! That will get your email deleted and you fucking blocked for life!   ***Done Ranting***
i have been looking for a Mistress/Owner for some time now with out much luck, i am willing to be a submissive, but prefer to be a slave, i have no restrictions on age, size or race.  i will be totally obedient, loyal, devoted and a true slave to a Woman wishing to own me aas ivied property, used and humiliated as She wishes in a truly, real time FLR for long term. slave d
There are a few things I feel I must clarify. When I say that sex and sexuality are a huge part of service/submission, I mean as a tool used to control me...to humiliate me. I do NOT mean for my gratification. It was very much a large part of my initial exposure to BDSM, sexual humiliation...and it has stayed with me through the years, but has never been about me being sated. It is purely about my dom/domme's pleasure. I serve at their discretion. Sex and sexuality are a tool. There are a lot of folks for whom it's about their orgasm. That is not me.
Stretchmarks, scars and cellulite It's a conversation that i've had far too often. "I want to take it off but I have scars", "I hope you don't mind my stretch marks" or what's worse "please don't be disappointed". I can't and i'm not going to pretend to speak for all men ( I am increasingly realising that there are a large number of us who are unequivocal dick heads) But I can say with confidence that I am not phased in the slightest. By your scars, your stretch marks or any other imperfections.Each one of them is a different aspect of you and possibly even tells a story that explains why you are the incredible person you are. My favourite thing to do on a play date is you standing in front of me so I can enjoy and explore every inch of you.
a Master told me his views on human toilets. He told me, once any human willingly tastes someone elses waste, they cease to be human, they will always be a toilet, becoming nothing more than a living toilet, no different than a ceramic toilet. a ceramic toilet doesnt get to choose who uses it,gender, sexuality, ethnicity doesnt matter. a ceramic toilet doesnt make decisions. a ceramic toilet doesnt have orgasms. so a living toilet doesnt either, just because a toilet used to be human makes no difference. so once i taste someone elses waste i will cease to be human, nothing more than a toilet unable to refuse anyone who wants to use my mouth as such forever.
I WANT TO WISH ALL OF YOU, MERRY CHRISTMAS AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR. BE SAFE OUT THERE. ENJOY THE HOLIDAYS.
Not wanting a Daddy. Don't need a Trainer. Not interested in a Protector either. I'm not a damsel in distress here...Eyeroll   I desire a Leader, a Leader that I can trust in and put my faith in to FOLLOW...Werewolves make fabulous Leaders,  I hear. Lol   Just saying!     
So, if you ask have you owned or collared someone.. The answer is quite definitely yes. Currently collared.. little boy..Shyboy. I see him on the weekends and on some occasions on Friday  stay over into Saturday.  I have another potential that I will see what happens with Natasha.   Under consideration for a 24 7 live in domestic slave position.    I do have a few play partners that I do see as submissive on occasion.    Now in the past had a collared masochist.. He was amazing, and I do miss him. I have had a sissy collared. And I have had one who signed a contract with me 6 yrs sgo.ago.. That actually turned out to not work and had to have his collar removed. Due to topping from the bottom, as well as found out he was into illegal activities that are not tolerated.  Plus his attitude showed that he was totally unworthy.     
Just got some more x5 latex hoods with Purple, Red, Blonde, Black Braided pigtails and a slave hood with double buckled collar from Rubber55 in the UK. Another action camera Insta 360 S3 smallest 4k camera arrived. Two pairs of thigh high boots from amazon. Have another week till my order from bright and shiny arrives from Ukraine with a replacement black latex catsuit, purple latex catsuit with a purple latex cat hood, Smoky black latex catsuit with a smoky black latex cat hood. Awaiting arrival from Moanspeak of 3 gags. Awaiting the arrival from breathplayfactory of fuck sleeve gas mask, Alien gas mask with a Led bubbler bottle with holder. Still waiting for a order from Oddia Black Bondage corset, Black Bondage belt variation 1, Black Bondage belt variation 2, Black short latex gloves, Black latex toe socks. All Christmas presents for producing great content.
In my defence I have been left unattended for way too long 
I have been asked to update my journal and my relationship status since its been a few years.  I am polyamorous. I believe in multiple loves, multiple relationships, communication, trust and respect for everyone involved. I currently have my own submissive whom I've been with for 10 years. He lives with me and does not expect to be included in my exploits.   I love being poly. I have so much of myself to give.  I am looking for a Dom of my own.    If you have any questions and would like me answer them here in my journal please feel free to write me. 
The M/s lifestyle is an extreme form of structured relationship, and what makes it powerful is that it’s built on choice and consent. The surrender of power by the slave and the assumption of responsibility by the Master isn’t casual—it’s intentional, serious, and often lifelong. At its best, it creates a dynamic where both roles are deeply fulfilled: the Master gains purpose through leadership, structure, and control, while the slave gains purpose through service, clarity, and the comfort of being fully owned.   What stands out to me is that it magnifies truths about human connection that already exist in all relationships: people crave trust, guidance, being seen, and being valued. M/s strips away the pretense and makes those elements explicit, codified in rules, rituals, and expectations. It’s not easy—because maintaining authority and surrender 24/7 in a modern world takes enormous honesty, discipline, and commitment. But when it works, it creates a bond few other dynamics can match, one that is both practical and profoundly emotional.
Maintenance.... If yall do not have an updated profile how do you expect Me to trust you?  Your age, location, etc would do well to be updated prior to contacting Me.  Collar updates regularly enough and if not an update within your profile you can certainly update your JOURNAL to proper information. If we set a time for speaking, meeting, doing and you don't show up and no reason given...what is the point?  For those of you who have My personal information, chivalry is not dead.  If you are not smart enough to figure out how to apologize, what is the point?  With that said, I am not in the habit of opening closed doors.  What is the point? Remember, VERIFICATION.  You don't get close to Me and My home without exposing yourself to Me.  BIGGER and Better! I would love a mechanic type of person from time to time.  I'm a vehicle enthusiast and have some knowledge but not nearly anything to brag about. I would love to rebuild an engine side by side as project.  Last year I sold My beautiful vintage truck.  Sigh. I DO so love MUSCLE cars though just about anything that comes acrosss on Mecum will do.  To have ones breath taken away by the pull of a powerful engine is mightily exciting.  The first car I ever drove was when I was knee high and it was a lovely Mercades.  Then onto the Jaguar...  My first car was a custom 500 with a suicide knob...and boy could that baby go! That was the car of My first speeding ticket!  I was crusing down Interstate 93 doing 120, when I moved My hand away from the side rear view mirror and to My chargrin there was a state trooper, hot on My tail, lights flashing (no siren) just keeping pace with Me.  I won't forget that troopers face for the rest of My life.  He didnt make eye contact and just said, "I have a ticket for you and you will need to pay it by this time or show up in court.  If you show up in court, I will tell the judge that you were doing WELL OVER 80 MILES PER HOUR and you will have your license taken away."  I paid the ticket and got a radar dectector.  lol Still, I have a relative hot spot for all things mechanical.  This brings Me to My love of steel...but THAT is another topic for another day!      
I am less and less impressed with doms on this site. I keep seeing all these profiles about "there are so many game players!!!" and "I'm looking for something REAL!!!"..."I don't tolerate LIARS!!!" So ok...you're intolerant of game players, sick of liars. I tell you the truth. I am right up front with the good, the bad, the ugly. You can read through my journal and see that. I understand I am not anyone's idea of physical perfection. I've stated that over and over again. So we get to a certain point, you're impressed with how much I seem to understand the role of a sub/slave...and then...despite this, boom...you suddenly ghost. No explanation, no response...just. ghost. I understand that you're playing the role of the big bad dom and you have to maintain this BS, including a first email saying something like "KNEEL SLAVE!!" right off the bat instead of a "hey...how are you? Nice profile...etc." However, it's simple human decency..."I'm sorry, you're very cool, but I don't feel like you're something I'm looking for." Especially after a slew of messages back and forth.If you're tired of liars and game players, then don't be one of the fools lying or playing games and wasting peoples' time and emotions.
I had a conversation yesterday that reminded me why I don’t rush access. Every so often, someone comes along who understands the difference between fantasy… and function. He didn’t come in with noise, exaggeration, or empty declarations. He understood something much more important, how to exist in both worlds without conflict. That’s rare. Because the truth is, this isn’t about cosplay. It’s not about acting out power or performing submission in isolated moments. It’s about integration. Taking what exists in this space, structure, direction, awareness, and applying it to real life in a way that actually works. Where it builds something. Where it creates value. Where it makes both people stronger, not dependent. That’s what most miss. A real dynamic doesn’t remove you from reality, it refines how you move within it. And a true leader doesn’t just command… she guides. She shapes. She diraspects with intention so that what stands beside her is not just devoted, but useful, capable, and aligned. That’s where something meaningful begins. Not in fantasy. But in what you can sustain. I think i'll keep him — Mistress Nikki Vixen aka Goddess
If any of you miserable subs/slaves/however you identify think I need your offers for oral pleasure. Please stop and think...why would I, a GODDESS,  need to come here to find someone to do this for me. My pictures are not fake, and I'm beautiful in real life, even with the flaws! That "act" is a pleasure for you,something I dont give a fuck about. A pleasure for me would be seeing you cry because I've mercilessly humiliated you. I mean, any other way I can make you suffer is a pleasure for me.
Dear Domaint Men of CS,    I am looking for something rather specific. I need a man to help me keep on track and orgnaized with a bunch of things I am working on . I realize this might sound a little too vanilla but I am hopeful that if you like micromanging we'll both really enjoy the experience. I am though, very spefically, looking for someone who wants to help me accomplish my goals- not just take control of my life.  If you're interested let me know what comes to mind for you when I say onlne morning meeting?
  Could you go back to vanilla dating?'Ive decided that I cannot willingly be in a vanilla relationship ever again. There is gonna be some kink, poly, and/or freakiness in My life from now on. I cannot tell you HOW MANY people that I have met that are miserable in their vanilla relationships and sneak out for kink. I have played the kinky therapist for those that are devastated with the thought that they have kinky desires and its "just WRONG." I end up patting them on the shoulders and then paddling their asses every time. Ive seen someone monthly for 5 years that is just now coming to grips with the fact that he likes to be spanked. Wouldnt DARE bring it up at home, but he has to have an outlet somehow.I get it that some people discover their kink AFTER already being in a vanilla relationship, but WHY would someone enter back into a vanilla relationship after knowing what their desires are and try to suppress them? A dear friend mentioned how his inner "naughty girl" sat dormant while life passed him by until he decided to be true to himself. And true he is! yes, it was a gamble getting up the nerve to tell his wife of many years, but in the end... she stayed and they live happily ever after. Im quite certain that 75% of the time it doesnt end that way.Now that I have grown in My kinklife and reaffirmed My dominance, I know a bit more about what I want and expect in a partner, kinklife, and SEXlife and I am not afraid to stand up for what I want and need. Now I have met a decent vanilla guy or three that has captured My interest- or that falls head over heels in love with Me- (yes, that happens to me!) and I am always upfront about My lifestyle and desires and the deal breakers. Some of My 'nilla friends say that I tell them to run them off, but realistically, I am just being honest with Myself and saving them from trying to tell Me that 'its just a phase' and making attempts at changing Me.I've been on a dating site or two and found myself on dates asking "what am i doing having dinner with this biblethumpin' overly righteous, straightlaced man?" and quickly following that thought up with asking him how he feels about doing house work naked and being hogtied and gagged on occasion. (hmm..
OK last one for now, going back to bed, still horny. I work in software, and I was thinking about the term Alpha male, we have a thing called alpha software.... Got it, here's a comparison joke that makes the alpha male look bad:   - Alpha Male: Constantly needs validation.   - Alpha Software: Constantly gets validated by QA.   - Alpha Male: Shows off muscles.   - Alpha Software: Shows off robust features.   - Alpha Male: Only appears confident.   - Alpha Software: Only appears in production after rigorous testing.   - Alpha Male: Tries to control everyone around him.   - Alpha Software: Allows users to control everything.   - Alpha Male: Thinks he's flawless.     - Alpha Software: Admits to bugs and gets better with updates.
Creating My household - Chat. Meet. Do. Lifetime position - Primary care attendant for My mother with Mid/late stage Alzheimer's.  Google it.  36 Hour day.  Live it. Under My ownership, mother shall be your charge and responsibility going forward.  Requirements:  Genteel.  Never use harsh words or swear.  Affectionate.  Exceptional grasp of the English language. Knowledgeable and amenable.  Must like dogs.  Short day trips - movies, lunch, thrifting.  Ensuring proper daily exercise.  Naughty nice school boys to the head of the line.   This position works well for someone who likes to be in the home and on hand, actively engaged in domestic duties, preparing meals and calmly engaging mother with leisure activities.  I will be responsible for My mothers personal and grooming needs until such time as a slave is well and thoroughly installed.  Personal services may then be granted.    
Clocks. Have we talked of this before? It feels familiar. Let's set the stage. There are four clocks in my bedroom - one on a surface against each wall, and one of those clocks also casts onto the ceiling. Basically, open your eyes wherever you are and you can easily know the time. Or a time. For six months of the year I live in the wrong time. I do not adjust my clocks for daylight savings. Which means I have to remember, at 3 in the morning when I look at the clock to see how much longer I can sleep, if the clocks are accurate or if I need to do basic math in my head.  One clock kept randomly alarming. I gave up, it's unplugged. Down to three and a ceiling. Whenever it was that the power went out months ago, it knocked out all of the clocks but one. Meh, good enough. One clock it is. Yesterday I was tidying up and reset two of the three clocks and the ceiling. It's a small thing (that's what she said), but it made me happy to look at that one other clock from where I was sitting and also see the ceiling time. And then four hours later the storm knocked out the power for thirty seconds. Sigh. But okay. This morning I reset them. I came home to blinking clocks again. Why, Universe? I am back to my one original clock, currently no math needed. Unlike the kitchen appliance clocks that basically hold your cooking rights hostage until you set the time, I don't have to deal with bedroom clock terrorists. I'll try again in a few months. Maybe. 
Dos nuevas publicaciones en mi blog y otra que no es nueva pero está vigente para esta época:  Juguemos, pero, ¿quién paga los juguetes? ¡Qué semana tan interesante!   Esta publicación sobre cómo iniciar una relación Femdom tiene ya dos años, pero sigue tan vigente como el primer día. Como siempre, dar like, comentar, compartir: Recomendación para empezar el año… ¡y una relación Femdom!
There’s a certain elegance in control. Not the loud, brash kind — but the quiet certainty of knowing someone’s will is bending under your hand, moment by moment. I don’t rush the process. Breaking someone isn’t about snapping them in half; it’s about unravelling them thread by thread. Watching pride give way to obedience, seeing the way humiliation transforms from resistance into desire — that’s the real artistry. I’m not in this for a scene or a fleeting rush. I want the slow burn, the kind that seeps into everyday life until submission isn’t something you do, it’s something you are. If you’ve ever felt that pull — the need to be seen, stripped bare, and claimed — you already know the beginning of the story. The question is: do you know how far you want it to go?  
Hello everyone, I'm a 33-year-old male submissive who has recently moved to Warsaw. With a rich experience in the BDSM lifestyle, I am now seeking a Dom/Domme couple to serve in a 24/7 capacity. I am versatile with no taboos and have a particular passion for practices such as moral degradation, depersonalization, ballbusting, scat play, and public humiliation. I am looking for a couple who can embrace and utilize my fetishes and help me explore new depths of submission. I am blonde, mentally stable, and free from any dependencies. Having been married in the past, I now seek a new chapter where I can fully immerse myself in the lifestyle I love. If you are a couple seeking a dedicated and experienced slave, I would love to hear from you. Let's connect and see where this journey can take us.
I walked in, saw her, sat down and was pleased when she lowered her eyes from mine.  The munch suddenly didn't smother like usual. I took her home, got down to skivvies, but she wouldn't lower them for her spanking, which earned her an introduction to Earnie.  Rhino Hide thudds so soundly.  She kept begging for more. After I came all over her back, I got her dressed and we sat down over coffee, and talked.  She was slightly annoyed when the subject of her masculine gender taped up under those skivvies had not been her giveaway.  I had spotted her as the CrossDresser she was, in the same breath that I spotted her deeply seated masochism.  We spent the summer bruising her.  I did insist on silk panties for the rest of our sessions.  It does a wonderful job of administering a bruise from the cane or batt that cotton tiddy-whities cannot.  I built stocks, hoisting timbers, made leather suspension cuffs that broke when we tried them.  I was crushed, darn it.  Stuck to shibari after that.
Dear Diary Tonight, the air is electric, charged with the power of MY presence. As the moonlight bathes MY skin, I feel the pulse of the universe within ME. Every beat echoes with the knowledge that I AM the embodiment of strength, beauty, and authority. To MY devoted submissives, know this: when you serve ME, you are not just serving a woman—you are serving a force of nature. Your obedience is the tribute you offer to the divine energy that flows through ME. Each task I set before you is a test, a ritual that draws you closer to the essence of your purpose: to please and honour your GODDESS. When you kneel before ME, you are not just submitting your body, but your soul. Your surrender is sacred, a powerful exchange that binds you to ME in ways deeper than flesh. In your submission, you find liberation. In your obedience, you discover the true meaning of devotion. Remember, MY desires are not just commands; they are opportunities for you to prove your worthiness. Every whisper of MY voice, every glance from MY eyes, is a call to action—a call to show ME the depth of your loyalty and the extent of your adoration. So, listen closely, MY devoted ones. The night is ours, and in its darkness, your true nature will be revealed. Serve ME well, and you will find the fulfilment that only the Black Goddess can offer. BLACK GODDESS 
Today, I’m open to something a bit more direct. A few of you may have the opportunity to speak with me on the phone. Understand this clearly, this is not casual conversation, and it’s not open access. If you approach, you do so with intention. The rules: You request—never assume.You ask for the opportunity. You don’t demand it, hint at it, or try to casually slide into it. You introduce yourself properly.Name, location, and what you’re seeking clearly and without filler. You respect my time.Be available, be prepared, and be concise. I’m not here for rambling or nervous energy. You maintain composure.No over-talking. No interrupting. You listen as much as you speak. You understand this is a privilege, not a right.Not everyone will be chosen. Most won’t. This is about presence. How you approach me before the call tells me everything I need to know about how you’ll carry yourself during it. Choose your words carefully. — Mistress Nikki Vixen
I want a dominate woman to take me under her wing. To feminize and transform me into a full woman. I mean learn how to sit, walk, talk, think,...... everything. But to also transform me physically as well. Hormones, body contouring, breast implants, FFS and finally SRS.To transform me into a woman so much that no one would know that I was EVER a male.
So on the vanilla side of stuff! ... I love outdoor activities including mountain biking, kayaking, camping, hiking. Just generally observing the beauty of nature. I live in the thick of the suburbs but on a river so I get to see a bit more wildlife out my window than most. I LOVE sci-fi and sword movies. Total science fiction geek. Grew up reading LOTR, playing D&D. Always wanted to be a knight. Did some sword fencing later in life. Umm... 'date' profile journaling out of boredom on this obscure site. Yeah, I'm on fetlife too, different name though, MrCatnip. I am amazed how nobody 'gets' the name. Inferring that I am intoxicating to 'pussycats'. I thought it easily deciperable but... * shrug *
Trust     For me trust has to develop before i can totally submit to a Master.  Many Masters/Sadists on this site and others want everything all at once after only having connected online.  Seems many Masters/Sadists do not like hairy men so have often been told to shave body hair before we even meet.   When i explain that could happen but only after i knew that we were going to continue to meet they are gone.  Is not a real Master/Sadist someone who will understand that to submit requires trust to have been developed - after all it is my hair! lol and my life i am putting in their hands!
Tonight Getting ready to go out for an event.  I hope you all have an amazing night!
As someone recently pointed out (Thankyou !!!!), I havent updated my Journal on here for a LONG time. Not since "Collarme" days for those of you who've been on the site for a while may recall. So heres a quick update! Having recovered from 2 bout of Covid and Long Covid, a year out of work through the lockdowns, and a reticence to "get back out there" that i've finally overcome, I'm looking to get back into the scene this year! My last relationship ended sadly at the end of 2018, and while I'm happy on my own, I'm missing the lifestyle. So next month I plan to visit the BBB again, maybe refresh my "bag of  tricks" as one lady called it. And plan to pop along to some local munches too. and maybe along the way find someone to share some fun times with. Who knows. C    
I'm using this to vent. I am very frustrated and depressed. In the month of August I've had two deaths and I had to put down my 3 pound baby girl, Mulligan.  .on top of this I have had a 100.00 increase in my rent. It is killing me,  For I'm being priced out of my home and area.   I have been looking for a place to live, or purchase, but I don't have a lot of options. Presently in the DC metro area, and I cannot afford anything here. At 63 almost 64 , this is not where I invisioned myself. And yes it  Is a crappy place to be. I'm feeling very down.   
the thought Mmm the thought of my Master pulling my hair to get my attention squirming just the thought of my hair being pulled and his other hand around my throat i cant be the only liking the thought of that scenario begging on my knees for more what is wrong with me i crave to be choked out and my hair being pulled until he makes his point across mmm dont mind me over here squirming just the thought makes me wet
  i know You can and will challenge me physically and mentally as your submissive.  To use as You see fit for Your pleasure and maybe mine too.  i want to hurt for You, bare Your marks, and be Your wanton little sub.  i want You to be around long enough to evolve me and to find and obliterate any limits i may have.  i want to walk the edge of utter destruction under Your control, power and degradation.  i want to be able to trust You to do all this in Your way and to care for me in the aftermath. This takes time and commitment.    
It is important to note that the specific tasks assigned to a submissive in a BDSM relationship can vary greatly and should be mutually agreed upon by all parties involved. However, some examples of tasks that a submissive might be assigned include: Cooking and cleaning the house Running errands or completing specific tasks as requested by the dominant Maintaining a specific appearance or dress code Engaging in specific sexual acts or role-playing scenarios Following strict rules or protocols Participating in BDSM activities such as bondage or impact play Participating in BDSM rituals or ceremonies. It is important to remember that BDSM should always be safe, consensual, and respectful. All parties involved should communicate their boundaries and desires clearly and negotiate any tasks or activities beforehand.
What being a little/middle is for me For me it is not a choice. I am a natural little and middle because of things that both happened and didn't happen. I'm not a roleplay little I have involuntary age regression! I need to feel safe and be protected during these times. I also have little/middle traits during every day life and even more so when I feel something is wrong or I did something wrong. So the lifestyle allows me to be accepted as I am and can't help but be. I'm extremely inquisitive, at times super bouncy, needy, playful, well behaved, but I can also be ornery ( in a playful way) , I have some difficulty understanding things, I make mistakes in verbalizing what I mean or need at times, I need alot of reassurance especially in the beginning. Although I am a passenger princess, I have difficulty just asking for attention, I'm super into my person and lovey.
¡Hola! Para cerrar el año les comparto un nuevo relato en mi blog ¡Espero que lo disfruten! https://amaasht.art.blog/2022/12/23/disciplina/
This morning woke up feeling a bit more optimistic and feeling good about being back on this site after years of being away, and if not already met, think there is a real chance of meeting on this site a prospective female submissive or slave that will be a good fit for me and for her. Been in correspondence with a few sub's giving me some hopefulness that something real may develop between myself and one of them or another, eventually. Listening to some Baroque Music in background, some house work need be done todday, but I'm the only one here; do not feel like sweeping any of the basement floor today. Not happening. Probably same for tomorrow too. Female slaves & submissive’s this older man could make good use of you, in numerous ways and the sooner the better.
Hello everyone, I'm a 33-year-old male submissive who has recently moved to Warsaw. With a rich experience in the BDSM lifestyle, I am now seeking a Dom/Domme couple to serve in a 24/7 capacity. I am versatile with no taboos and have a particular passion for practices such as moral degradation, depersonalization, ballbusting, scat play, and public humiliation. I am looking for a couple who can embrace and utilize my fetishes and help me explore new depths of submission. I am blonde, mentally stable, and free from any dependencies. Having been married in the past, I now seek a new chapter where I can fully immerse myself in the lifestyle I love. If you are a couple seeking a dedicated and experienced slave, I would love to hear from you. Let's connect and see where this journey can take us.
I am so happy that the journals are back here !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I enjoyed this part of the site over the years more than any other part.  I thought i was dreaming when i noticed the link to the side with the word JOURNAL. I though this must be a joke or it cant be back and boom its back.  I have been here since 2009 off and on and i used to journal everyday. It was where i kept all my thoughts.  It is an immediate way for us all to communicate and see what we are all doing.  There are many real people here .  I dont know if this will be saved immediatly but I am hoping its saved live...that was one of the best features of being here. 
It is different...I know a number of widows, who are remarried to widowers... I kind of thought it a little odd until I became a widow myself. I wondered, are grief groups like the only place to meet someone once you are a widow? Are grief groups like speed dating after a while, you start going through the people there until you settle down with one because, well, at that age that is what is left? But like I said, then I became a widow... I "joined the club" no one would ever wish for anyone to ever have to join... and I get it now. It is a club. We get each other in ways others don't. It wasn't a divorce, it was a death. We will always love them. We will always speak fondly of them. Our eyes will always water at their memory. Their birthday, our anniversary, the anniversary of their death... will always be hard days. There might be children in our lives that will always will need to be comforted, and allowed space to honor their memories and love for the person. However, there is still a need for companionship again at some point. Room for love again. Desire for tactile touch of another human being on our starved bodies... It is hard to explain to someone outside the club that just because we speak fondly, cry occasionally, tell funny stories about... doesn't mean we somehow care less about our current relationship. We aren't comparing them, we aren't seeing which one is better. We are in the present with them now, and we are happy to be there... We just came with baggage, and it isn't bad baggage, we just need to be allowed to have it...
Message to a User about Tonight 3/25/2020 I actually had a pretty good time tonight with the Divorced Dad. We chatted & caught up with each other. About the kids and he finally met someone whose he been dating for a month. Still new and casual but he thinks it's going to lead somewhere. I updated him about my life & school and such. We went to his bedroom and he was naked in a flash and laid back on his bed. I went for it. He has and upward curve so taking it down all the way facing him isn't possible so I went to his side and spread my legs and let him play with my ass as I went down. I got his balls deep in my nose and he loved grabbing my head and pushing me as hard as he could and thrusting upward. I started licking his balls and lapping up and down his cock before I moved southward towards his taint then his ass. He flipped over and I gave him a great rim job for quite some time. He then flipped over and I rode his cock. I have really built thighs and great at riding up and down and doing a lot of the saddle work. He surprised me by grabbing my hips and jack ramming me (He's very muscular) We then did reverse saddle then doggy all in the same me back into him twirling back into him and him thrusting deeper. Laying his body onto mine and pumping hard and speeding up his tempo. We ended with my head over the bed and him fucking me deeply. I did gag a bit. Disappointed in that but he did cum all the way down my throat with his balls at the base of my mouth. We both laughed afterwards and chatted some more. We have stayed friends even when we didn't sleep together and I have an odd habit of sucking a cock & making weird casual yet intimate relationships where I know about what's going on and things. He said he likes how genuine I am and likes that I'm doing well with school & work and that made my night since we haven't seen each other in a while and he sees that things are going well. (I don't see sucking cocks as a detrimental thing lol)
I Just realized on Dec 26th 19 years ago today. I went to be my first munch and became a member of my local BDSM community. I remember being so nervous. I had never dated or anything before that day. I was happy when I read an erotic novel and found the term BDSM and went down the rabbit hole. All the years I would have dreams and desires not understanding and thinking I was alone. I was 30 years old and started researching on AOL, Yahoo chat, the great websites at the time. To find the munch group and got my scene name from my email address. So nervous to meet at the munch group, Only about 5 of us were there that night being right after Christmas. I was so happy and excited and felt like I finally found home and people that would accept me and welcome me.    The lifestyle was fun and learned a lot but also wasn't the greatest as I would jump into things and the 7.5 years I was active did expereince abuse that still scares me today. I have triggers but also realize this is who I am and can't just be vanilla. I have missed being active in the lifestyle and miss my BDSM family. One day hope to find the right partners and get back to being active again.    I call this my BDSM birthday.  And glad I found it. Just more cautious now.
Thanks My wife's first words to me were a warning. "You're going to fry out there!"  I looked up from the sundeck at my condo and saw this pretty girl looking at me from a second floor balcony.  She had long black hair and was wearing a short crop top that showed off her flat stomach.  I waved and I told her I was fine and had lots of suntan oil.  I went back to reading the Washington Post like I did every Sunday morning.   I was new here, this was my first summer at this place.  It was steps away from the subway and had a big pool, a tennis court and gym.  I loved the sundeck, a big wide area for sun worshippers like me.  So every Sunday id head to the sundeck with my towel and the paper.  I would do a few floor exercises and sunbathe while reading the paper. I was flattered that this girl was watching me.   She was now talking to me every time she saw me.  "What are you reading?" she asked.  "Would you like a water?"  She would toss me a water when I said sure.  Over time I began to look forward to seeing her.  Eventually I asked if she played tennis.  She did.  She was pretty good and had a good forehand.  During a match we took a water break as we were at the net.  "Your shoe is untied." she said.  I looked down and she kneeled down and retied my shoe.   Tennis led to workouts in the gym.  She told me she was a trainer.  She'd give me tips on form and spotted me when I needed it.  I was doing a bent over row exercise and she spotted me and I felt her hand on my waist.  Her hand slowly went to my back and drifted lower onto my butt.  I could feel her fingertips touch the outline of the back of my bikini underneath my gym tights.  So now I knew she wanted more than a friendship.   We talked about bdsm.  She didn't understand it.  I told her about my kinks and why it turned me on.  I'll never forget her reply.  "Why don't you let me train you so you look stretched all the time?". The truth of it was that we love each other.  She's gay.  She's had a lot of trauma caused by men and wants nothing to do with them.  She understood my needs and we agreed that if this was going to work, she would have to accept my kink and I would never cheat on her.  She's met all my friends and doesn't participate in bdsm.   You might be asking How can this be?  This lifestyle is all about meeting one's needs.  As long as both sides agree to things it'll work out for all.  All I told her to do was to surround herself with beautiful things.   So my wife is my service sub.  She takes care of our home, she cooks for me, she takes care of the pool, the Jacuzzi, grocery shopping.  She loves it.  It was raining one day when I drove home from work and there she was, in her bare feet holding an umbrella for me to walk me to the house. She decorates for the holidays.  I hear her on the phone telling others how happy she is.  She knows that I love it when she walks around in a T-shirt and bikini.  She works out.  She loves sunbathing with me.  We fulfill each other's needs.  So to my lovely wife and sub, I thank you for your commitment to me and the love you've given me.    
I fantasize about being made to cum over and over, no breaks between. Breaking my brain with so many orgams...Begging for mercy, crying for it to stop, but being ignored. Finally passing out from orgasm overload. Waking up to it not having stopped even while unconscious.24 hours straight of orgasms. Only then released into chastity with toys that are too large locked in my holes, and keys put away for a month
Friendship and Love:    In the heart of a loyal friend, a storm brews deep, As his best friend and ex-lover begin to keep Company in a way that cuts like a knife, Leaving him wrestling with anguish and strife.   The dog, his companion through thick and through thin, Now seems to conspire in this tangled spin, For the one he once loved, who was his trusted guide, Now walks hand in hand with his loyal friend by her side.   Betrayal stings sharp, like a treacherous dart, As the bond of camaraderie tears apart, His confidant, once faithful, now seems so untrue, Leaving him lost in a world askew.   Yet through the pain, a silver lining gleams, For in the depths, friendship's resilience teems, As time soothes wounds and tempers the ache, He finds solace in the bond they all forsake.   For a man's best friend and his ex in their tether, Cannot shake the bond that they share together, But in forgiveness and grace, he'll find his own mend, For in the end, true loyalty will transcend.
I  regularly visit this site and Fetlife to check for messages when I do not have a slave in my home.  If you want to learn more about me my profile has a lot of information. I was responding to someone today and realized that my words might be helpful to post here as a journal entry. I can say that I am very real but the definition of real could be different for everyone. Maybe what sets me aside from most on here is I am only interested in real life? Maybe it is that I have had slaves live in my home for over twenty years? Maybe it is that when a slave is in my home I take care of EVERYTHING and her only responsibility is to take care of me. I own my home and a sucsessful business in paradise and I do not need a slave to work outside my home. It is important that any potential slave understand that being MY slave is not all about sex.  I have no interest in having long sexually explict email chat or phone conversations so that you can masturbate. If a submissive or slave is interested in visiting and just having a great week as my slave I am open to that. If you want to be considered as my slave than you will find my questions are not like most of the self appointed Doms or Masters on here.  I am interested in the things that actually matter when I am considering bringing someone into my home. Things LIKE, What is your current living situation? Friends Family Roommates etc? What is your marital status? Married Separated Divorced Never Married? Children? Have you ever been pregnant? Can you become pregnant? Financial status? In my home I take on all responsibilities and if you have a large credit card debt car payments or some other debt it becomes my responsibility. Have you ever filed bankruptcy? Health? Have you had or do you have any STDs? Have you ever been diagnosed with a medical condition like diabetes depression or anxiety that requires a medication? Are you willing to relocate? When? Being a true slave is more than just about sex you will be responsible for all of my domestic duties. Those who want to talk about what Toys I have or How often they will be beaten are just looking for material to masturbate too.   By real I mean our conversations will be about mutial interest but the central theme will be your visit regardless if it is short or long term. If you are not ready to meet in REAL life then I do not consider you real.
What I have learned from messaging with Slave Masters who actually know the proper techniques for taking a person and transitioning them into a submissive, gay, loyal slave who is happy in it's new life of slavedom and has no thoughts or regrets for leaving it's previous life of freedom to domestically and sexually serve and service a Master as owned property. The Slave Master who knows how to dehumanize the slave-to-be uses sensory deprivation, hoods, and calculated pain with restraints and whippings and ass spankings to break the potential slave with feelings of hopelessness until the slave yearns for Master to teach it to be happy with calculated release from the pain ect and slave learns Master's Routine and Protocol. Once Master has made slave aware of it's postion to it's Master, then Master can begin Training slave to be a slave. slave now willingly accepts it owes it's care and existence to it's Master. slave is kept restrained but is not like a prisoner in jail or like when the Roman Empire took captured soldiers as slaves and treated them brutally. . The slave slowly learns it's function is to work to please and pleasure it's Master. slave will even learn to thank it's Master for the periodic whippings  and ass spankings  by sucking and servicing Master's Dominant Cock after each Whipping and Ass  Spanking as a sign Master is pleased to have a loyal slave.
  I have been trying to get a grant to help Me to obtain FTB Grants, but each time I click on one of these I find that it is an advertisement in order to get My e-mail so that I can be inundated with bullshit. If  a/Any o/One has had any luck with any of these " Grant " websites" please write Me and let Me know. I would be extremely grateful.   Thank y/You   Mistress Char
I started undergrad in 1973, a medium- sized state university, i was footing the bill & money was tight so I went to student services to see their listings for jobs. There were the usual, dining hall jobs, a few being ushers & security at some sporting events, a couple for maintanance & groundskeeping, then I saw one for art department figure model & it paid $15 an hour, unheard of in the early 1970's, I put my name & number on the list & crossed my fingers. A couple of days later there was a notice in my dorm room mailbox to call the art department offices & ask for Ms. So & So. I decided to prove I was real go-getter & drop by the office. Met with the lady, a graduate assistant, & she told me what the job entailed, Tuesday & Thursday evenings, 7-9:30 PM, nude figure drawing mostly, there may be some painting, there could be private sessions for more advanced work but that was to be negotiated with the individual, the school wasn't paying. She offered me the job, said they were hiring one male, one female but we'd never be doing the same class at the same time. I jumped at the chance as I had a strong CMNM interest at the time. More to come, watch this space.
The parcel She didn’t often get the house to herself this early in the day.  The kids had been collected by their father at 3pm and her Friday evening and the weekend stretched before her.  Pub with friends tomorrow night, she thought. But this afternoon she had planned to masturbate herself stupid.  She ignored the usual, quieter, stick vibe in her bedside drawer.  Instead she slid the innocuous-looking brown box from under her bed.  It was covered in dust but, inside, her large black mains wand was pristine.  She stripped off, put some lube onto the large head and lay on her bed; legs spread wide. Something was waking her up.  She had brought herself to orgasm 3 times before having to stop because her clit was too sensitive for her to make herself hold the wand there any longer, and she must have dozed off.  The light through her curtains had dimmed considerably and she guessed it was about 6pm.  What the hell had woken her?  Then she heard the knocking at her front door and realized that someone was outside.  Shit!  The new set of butt plugs she had ordered.  She didn’t want to miss the delivery; not when she had the whole weekend in front of her to try them out.  Worried about how long the delivery person had already been stood on her front doorstep, she threw on the closest thing to hand - an oversize jumper - and started down the stairs. As she approached her front door she shrugged irritably at the jumper, which was far too large and kept slipping off one shoulder.  She paused for a moment when she saw the large shape through the frosted pane of glass in her door.  Whoever was out there was enormous and she was wearing nothing but a jumper.  Quickly she reminded herself that she lived on a main road, surrounded by neighbours, and that she really wanted those butt plugs.  She opened the door. He had been about to push a card through the letterbox and go back to his van, kind of annoyed that the last delivery of the day was out and he would have to return the parcel to the depot, when the door suddenly opened.  His eyes widened in surprise and he lowered the parcel to waist level when he saw what stood in the doorway.  The woman’s long blonde hair looked delightfully tousled, like she had just got out of bed and her green eyes looked very dark.  Her exact shape was difficult to see in the shapeless jumper she wore but, as it stopped high on her thighs, he could guess that she was plump and curvy in all the right places underneath it. One of her shoulders was bare and he could see that the last of her summer tan hadn’t quite faded from it.  The woman quickly folded her arms.  He thought she looked a little embarrassed to be standing there in just a jumper.  Didn’t she realize that folding her arms pushed her very large breasts together and increased the amount of cleavage he could see?  “Lovehoney delivery for you,” he said, instantly realising that he had let slip the fact that he knew what was inside the ‘discreet’ brown box he carried.  The sight of her had obviously driven that knowledge to the forefront of his mind. Her mouth opened and she felt her cheeks turn crimson when she heard the words from the tall stranger.  Her arms unfolded and fell to her sides and, for a moment, an image of this hazel-eyed stranger pushing one of her new butt plugs into her arse as she held it open for him flashed across her mind.  She blinked and the image was gone, but she wondered how long she had stood there, staring, before stepping forwards and saying, “Yes, that’s right.” As she stepped forward he noticed that she hadn’t corrected him about the origin of the parcel.  He also noticed that she was still not quite as tall as he was, even though he was stood on a step below the level of her hallway. God she looked attractive, he thought, like she’d just finished having sex but wanted more.  She probably had her husband upstairs waiting, although he noticed that she wasn’t wearing a wedding ring.  “I hope I wasn’t interrupting anything,” he said, handing the parcel to her.  He watched her flush again and say, “No, no, I’m all alone.”  As she took the parcel he found himself staring straight into her eyes.  They were dark green and seemed to be asking for something that she hadn’t articulated yet.  He couldn’t believe the next words out of his mouth, “Look, I hope you don’t mind, it’s been a really long shift, please could I use your toilet?” She made a small step back into her hallway and stared at the man in front of her.  Medium build but very tall, he was wearing work boots and jeans; a casual shirt was tucked loosely into the jeans and she could see a t-shirt underneath.  Her eyes lingered on a well-worn, brown leather belt, then they travelled to his face.  His eyes were twinkling mischievously but he also looked a little nervous, like he was about to change his mind about something.  He looked strong and gentle at the same time and she felt her belly warm as she looked at him.  “Of course, the cloakroom’s just behind me.” He stepped over the threshold and pushed the door closed behind him before saying, “Thank you.”  The hallway was very small and she had stepped back into another doorway, to the left, that looked like it led to the living room.  There was a door in front of him so he took off his muddy boots and stepped through it.  The cloakroom was small; fitted under the staircase.  He suddenly wondered how he was going to urinate when his cock was semi hard.  He would have to wait for a moment to let it go down. She put the parcel on the kitchen table before returning to the living room and perching on the arm of one of the sofas.  She tried to collect her thoughts.  There was a large, strange man in her house, and she was naked apart from a loose jumper.  She quickly came to the realization that she didn’t care one bit.  In fact, she recognised that she was aroused.  Maybe because she had fallen asleep masturbating, but she suspected it was more to do with the man in her cloakroom.  If someone had stolen knowledge of the physical attributes of her ideal man, they would have created the person in her downstairs cloakroom.  She heard the flush and water running and then realized he was stood in the doorway looking at her again.  Making a decision, she straightened her back and shoulders and confidently asked, “Would you like a nice hot coffee before you head off?” He had been about to thank her again and say his goodbyes, when the woman with the just fucked hair and bedroom eyes thrust her tits out and invited him to stay for a coffee.  He agreed but, as she asked him to follow her into the kitchen, he realized he was playing with fire here.  He told himself, and by that he meant his cock, to wait for a very clear signal before committing himself to making a move.  After all, perhaps all the 40-something women in this suburb invited delivery men into their homes for coffee, whilst strolling around in next to nothing, just to tease and give themselves something to talk about at the school gates the next morning. She flicked the kettle on and took milk out of her fridge, noticing that he had leant himself on the back of one of her kitchen chairs.  Watching her.  She could see the parcel containing the butt plugs on the table behind him and her cheeks blushed again.  He had folded his arms across his chest and crossed
Thought it would be helpful to cover a few points here... Interview style conversation is not my thing, if you want to get to know me then use your ability to hold a flowing conversation,  not an interview I am single, I do not see why anyone in a happy relationship would be on sites chatting so I assume you are also single ... if not then please don't waste our time with trying to strike up a chit chat  As of this year, 2022 I will be 50 on my next birthday and I found the lifestyle when I was about 21 so you do the maths  Sorry but I don't want to meet someone who is close to my children's age, to be safe if you are more than 10 years older or younger than me we won't be matched  I am not a slave, honestly I am very sure of that. I do have strong sub tendencies with the right alpha male but seriously if you don't consume my head you won't stand a chance of controlling anything else I am not into poly or sharing or being shared. I am totally monogamous and if you are not then flick over to the next profile I live with my family, happy to discuss with the right person but I have a young child at home so seek someone who understands how to make a vanilla and lifestyle combined relationship work whilst keeping tiny ones protected from it all I am a non smoker, I don't vape, I rarely drink and am seeking someone similar. Nights in the pub are not of interest I work full time and have limited time free so I am not in a position to travel to meet someone, so local is needed. For anyone who thinks a plane ride is local then jog on as you really are not on the realistic spectrum I am seeking  Yes I have been collared twice and for some reason it seems relevant but to be honest the first waited almost a year before it happened as he knew to me I see it as a serious commitment I do have limits which are a mix of health and personal things so happy to discuss but they are not negotiable  Likes, vanilla and lifestyle wise are varied but those can be savoured as part of a conversation  I hope that has given a flavour and please do find happiness in your journey but don't come across my pathway of you are a new dom I am not looking to teach you the ropes, a dom who really is a sub (there are many on here), if you are a female dom (so not my thing), if you are a male sub and finally no female subs.  Cheers x 
I don't mention the men who say what they mean and mean what they say and follow through with meeting Me.  I have absolutely no complaint with the real deals I have found here and there are enough of them to keep Me busy for a LIFETIME.  I'm simply a greedy wench.    
A Response to a now FWB of mine back when we were chatting about what I envisioned when it meant servicing him. I mostly just think about what you've told me. You said your wife doesn't pleases and pampers you. When we meet I want to be obedient to you. I want you to feel comfortable telling me anything and me being interested in what you have to say. Not ogling you in a role play type of way but enjoying whatever my master has on his mind because he's not getting the respect or attention he should be receiving. I want to be able to ease my master's stresses. A foot massage as he watches TV. Or maybe a nice full body rub and rimming my master's asshole because it's an honor to kiss his ass. I want to worship my master's cock and balls as well as the rest of his body. Comply with every order he has and do whatever he wants. I want him to be free with letting go and know the more he gets into pleasing himself the happier I get being used to make him happy. 
Master's WritingsStruggles of a Sapiosexual/Demisexual in a Hyper-Sexual WorldAs I have matured thru the years, it's now clear that without finding someone mentally, and emotionally attractive, it all just feels somehow incomplete. Without some connection to a real person with a genuine personality, they can be pretty and sexy, but . . . It really doesn't do it for me.And here in lies the problem.In today's hyper-sexual, transactional and instant-gratification society, how does someone like me, take the time to connect with another before the tug of physical exceptions frustrate the individual and kill the tempo.Yeah, I know. Its easy to say, I'm just not finding the right people who are also Sapiosexual/Demisexual, but we all know everyone is comprised of shades of grey and even those who lean in that direction feel the pressure of the "quick-fix".Not sure what to actually do about it, other than to continue to be clear up front about who I am, what my needs are during the "approach" and look harder for alignment with the individuals I talk with.But it is still frustrating.
Nothing can be gained without losing.Even heaven demands death.One day, someone is going to walk into your lifeand make you realize exactly why itnever worked out with anyone else.It'll be ovious in the way he shows up,chooses you, prot ects you, and guides you.
I met a Dom on Fet Life who has been keeping me in line the last few weeks. He is not a nice person. I don't really like Him, but as a Dom and potential Master, He is exactly what I need. I've been processing this phenomenon, putting much thought into why I respond to Him so well as a Dom, even though I wouldn't choose to spend time with Him otherwise (and I'm sure it's mutual). I cannot count the number of Doms, Masters, Gods, Slave Owners, etc. that I've met both online and in person who seem unwilling or incapable of issuing an order or command. I tend to follow orders. If I don't receive any, I assume the Dom is uninterested and I move on. Aftter all, it is my job to follow orders, not to issue them. The Man that I am currently serving does not have this problem. I obey all His orders without question, even those I don't want to. It's not my job to choose which orders to follow. If you identify as a slave and you're having trouble attracting potential Masters, maybe you should take a look at your profile and count how many times "me" or "I" appear in your text. Then skim your profile for anything that would tell a potential Master what you could do for Him. Learn much?
No one stays around for long. This is the famous words, I hear:                             "I don't think I can relocate after all, have lived here all my life"                           "I need some space to clear my head, it's not you, I am just so confused"                   "I can't get you out of my head, I tried by not talking to you and it just made me want to talk to you more, I just want to be with you, but I am so confused," And in all of this?? "It's NOT you!"   What else am I suppose to think?                      BOYS have your ducks in a row, BEFORE a Mistress spends time directing you, with her words and stories, to begin the molding of your spirit to her will.                              That is just a small example of what I have gotten. This is also why a Mistress usually talks to several  boys at the same time.
Masturbation   A book could be, should be, has been? written on the subject. However, in this little piece I am going to address those that masturbate to My writings.    First thing I want those that engage in the practice of jacking off while reading or chatting with Me to know is your behavior is OK with Me. Whack off to your hearts content. Edge yourself.    Some few might even have a cock sucker serve you while you peruse My site. Go for it. Good for you.   Sorry, I have not included female pussy players up to this point. Yes, I know you are out there. Same for you; enjoy.   Here is what I would like you to do. Tell me. I know some are to embarrassed to shy or, maybe, to selfish to share their activity with Me. Get over yourself. Do you really think you are all that much that you cannot share?   Ok, enough shaming. One of the adverse effaspects of your spanking your monkey is when you come and the subspace disappears from your head you just drop any communication you are having with me. Do you think that is fair to me? No. No it is not.   Here is what I would like you to do. Just tell Me of your activity when you begin. What are you afraid of? I am not going to reach through your screen and slap you. (Hum, that is an idea, though.) No, just let me know so when you lose sub space and want to leave just say so. That way, you do not feel like you can not return out of embarrassment or what ever self involved feeling might make you reticent.   Anyway, if you tell me of your forbidden(?) activity we might both enjoy it.   I hope everyone has good sex. Except those poor bastards that become My slave property, but, that is another story.    
If you want me...Tell me. Don't wait for me to approach you, You may be broken a little bit inside, but you have to start by fixing yourself.. Do not wait for someone to come along and try to fix you. If you cancel our first date because you are afraid of what you can not control, than there will not be a second date. If you want to stick to chatting only, I will think that you probably have no interest in pursuing anything and I will move on. If you pretend not to give a fuck, I will think you really do not give a fuck, and I will move on. If the only way you can show your love is with your legs wide open... Than it probably will not last.. So why try? If you want me, you need to step out of your shadow and insecurities. It won't be easy, but it will be worth it.
A couple nights ago, a self-defined submissive made some generic comment in his email, but did call me Domina, so I responded. A little earlier tonight, he wrote back to ask if I was looking for a slave. Specifically, "slave." I responded "Well, if you had actually read more than the first line, you would have found your answer before you asked" To which he replied "oh, read the profile syndrome that tells me everything I want to know not for me bye" Do you see the problem here? He didn't make any effort, while simultaneously offering himself as a "slave." To a total stranger. 'Cause lawd knows, a slave ain't gonna be asked to do anything as outRAGEOUS as... READ. This kind of obtuseness just blows my freakin mind every time. I mean, the twit has exchanged less than a hundred words with me, is using not the mild mannered "submissive" or "sub" which is kind of like dating, if you think about words (and you sure as shit better be the kind that thinks about words if you are writing ME) but instead chose the serious and committed word "Slave" which is a lot more like suggesting marriage. And obviously, he's heard this before, because he had a whole big feeling about it, and has pathologized it as something only demented women expect from a man who was already offering the pinnacle of servitude. It's funny because it's so sad, and so common. I had just never heard it put that way before. Such over the top, blatant gaslighting. 'If you want this, you must be CRAZY!' I mean, really who wants to actually KNOW someone they have given all power over their lives??? I guess I'm more tired than I thought, and a bit bummed over lack of snuggle time with DB on account of snow, but I didn't even bother replying to laugh at him. Block, delete, on to the next. Maybe I go watch TCM The Beginning again. (I fast forward through all the parts that Thomas isn't in. Much shorter movie, but I enjoy it a lot more.)
Dallas was… worthwhile. Now I’m back in Columbus and I’ve been thinking. Tomorrow, I may allow one of you to be lucky. Not for attention. Not for conversation. But for something a bit more intentional. If you’ve been watching quietly, if you understand how to approach properly, and if you know how to present yourself without needing to be guided every step… then maybe you’ll be worth considering. Most won’t be. But one might. — Mistress Nikki Vixen
So, here's the deal: I'm 62, I have finally found comfort in my shell... I need a PERMENANT Mistress who is going to be BRUTAL with me, use me and abuse me, dehumnanize me, heavy CBT, bondage, caging/kenneling, toilet (full sometimes), outside bondage, predicament bondage, ashtray slave, spit slave, eating the dead skin scrapings from your lovely and delicious FEET, and yes, your small toenail clippings which I'll consume. I'm REAL, ladies and I need this. I love being in a cage/kennel. I'm not here to waste yours or my time. I'm here to be your slut/pig/whore/toilet/whatever you want. I DO NOT CARE. I get tribute so, yeah, not a problem but NOT before, please. I'm old school and will do that when I come for my 2+ hours therapy session. I take my servitude seriously and my slavery seriously. This is the life I've chosen. Women are POWERFUL and are to be OBEYED. Men don't get that. I do... Women are superior to men in every way. Women abuse/use me as they wish. This is the way. I believe it. I live it. I know it. I shave all the hair off my body save for my lower arms and head.  I wear pantyhose or stockings and panties (all the time).  I love the body I'm in and how I'm used/abused. I seek to have a mistress experiment on me, try new things and enjoy our time together. Please, I beg all Mistresses to consider this slut for her enjoyment. I will travel to you. Warmly and humbly, slave selene (my female name)
Lust, pleasure, and the quest for eternal orgasm should never be forbidden, nor be limited from whom to whom the pleasure is being given or received. Lust and pleasure is the original, the innocent state of man, the highest virtue, the most sacred, the most innocent form of pure, untainted expressions of love and life. Therefore, I believe that cumming, or any forms orgasmic bliss is the highest state of spiritual enlightenment. Being soaked in cum is a blessed state of being, and to cum, to reach the state of orgasm, is to reach the most sacred, the most divine form of being. To cum, and to be cummed on, is to reach the state of the original innocence, to be one with God and The Universe themselves. --credit to unknown author
I figured I would do a quick about me.   This isn't planned and will likely be random and all over the place.First of all, vanilla - as this is the most important thing to me, If we don't connect here, than sexually doesn't matter.I'm an extravert. I find energy in groups and crowds usually(not allways) And I find people fasanating, so I would enjoy people watching sometimes even.However, I would be ok being with an introvert and limiting my actions with groups.  This isn't a must and being closed off and contained isn't an issue.  It's the relationship that matters and as long as that is strong, I will be happy.I tend to enjoy a little bit of everything.  Travelling, hiking, board games, movies and tv, reading. trying new things and activities.My tastes range from Downton Abbey, to Yellowstone, to Battlestar to NCIS(not as much anymore) to parks and rec.I love independant and foreign films/tv as well as classics just as much as anything above.I've become a board game and puzzle nut.  It's an interesting way to spend time, have fun and use strategy/think.I enjoy conversations and debating.I'm the sort of person willing to try everything at least once.Some weird/different stuff about me:I am very Ticklish.  To the point that if you wish to tickle I have a very strong ask that I be tied down. I have punched people before being unrestrained and flailing about. I do not enjoy it, but I enjoy the pleasure it brings my torturer I guess.I have a fear of heights.  I have learned to manage this, I usually have no issue in a plane, on a ladder or even a roof. And if I can hold onto something solid, I am fine.  But every now an again(top of a mountain looking over a cliff as one example) I do have that fear crop up.I'm a nudist at heart. I'm fine with nudity and I would be nude all the time if I could. Sometimes I am.I believe I'm undiagnosed ADHD.  In no way really bad, but I do have quirks.  When I have a list of tasks I can and tend to jump between them mid-task randomly.  I can and have been known to fidget usually, usually just my fingers.  And other really minor things. Nothing that I feel needs to be managed, it's more of a "wow it's crazy you work like that" sort of response from people when they know me, and like I said, not all the time, but enough it would be noticable long term.The kinky/sex stuff:I'm Pansexual.  I have been with both sexes before, maybe I will again. To me it's about the person, not their parts. I have no requirements there, I don't 'need' both sexes in my life and I can and am able to be monogomus.My Limits: No Scat, No felonies.(an aside here - a lot of people say nothing illegial. But public nudity is illegial, and I would do it leading to -), Nothing that involves others without their consent.  Wearing a collar in public is just apperal, being naked involves them.  Being naked where a kid can see is a felony, so context matters there.No permanent changes without my ok. As soon as I ok being tatooed or pierce once, I'm good forever.Nothing involving friends or family or work without my ok. This includes collars and such.No Degredation.  I was picked on as a kid.  It wasn't fun. If you want to treat me like crap - no thanks.  If you don't want to treat me like a prized pet, a love, a favorite possession, or something like that, I'm not for you.   This includes namecalling, and includes for punishment.Humiliation is different, I love humiliation.My main joys(in no ways all)Being controlled/a lack of control.  The more real this is, the more I tend to enjoy it.Tell me not to move or else is one thing, tell me not to move and bind me so I can't even if I tried and it's mentally a different level.  And no, I don't expect this 24/7 365 or even often, just explaining control is key.Pleasing/serving/bringing smiles.  Are you happy?  Are you satasfied? Are you smiling?  This can be from an act I did - cleaning your kitchen, bringing you to a great orgasm, or just submitting to something difficult for you.Humiliation.  This is an aspect of control.  Being naked around others is one example.  The way I look at it, if it makes me blush or shy it's humiliation.In no ways is that all but the main ones.However note, I'm focused on #2, and that is most important to me. If I cannot and am not pleasing, this wouldn't work for me(and I imagine you either). Some other sexual/relationship notes:I have the mindset that I learn what an owner wants, needs and desires and it's my job to fit inside that, that a possible owner shouldn't need to change for a sub/slave.  That I need to find somewhere that I can fit, and mold myself around their desires, fantasies and interests.  This includes things like chastity as well as other activities. Some like it, some don't, in the end I can give or take.I have my fantasies and things I'd like to try or do, and I will talk about them if asked or desired.  I have a desire to be an open book as best as I can be.Finally and most importantly - I'm looking for a relationship.  With that, I would be with a couple as long as if there is another sub, that I am equal to the sub.  I do not desire to be a side piece or a toy that is brought out on occasion.  Likewise, I'm not looking to be a servent or "domestic only".  In most cases that isn't a relationship that is a job.   I would be domestic only if it were a relationship, but it would depend on the situation.  I think 99% of domestic only searches fall outside that situation.I want someone to accept me for me.  If you cannot do that, I will move on.  Small changes I can and will make, Big ones I would only make if there is a really good reason(addiction) or something, of which I don't think I have anything currently.I'm not talking what I wear or my haircut or if I'm shaved or not.  I'm talking "you can't like this or that because I told you to" sort of stuff.  Also, I would like someone who listens to me and who allows me to speak my mind.It doesn't have to be always, or often, It can be at set times,  and you do not need to do whatever I speak about or say, but you do need to really listen and understand.  I do not want to be a robot.
I am not looking for casual, short term or long distance anything.  If that's you move along With you an an experienced Slave or Submissive on a daily basis ( not solely a play bottom for the bedroom = no thanks) who lives in London/Essex/Kent. Don't bother if you are more than 2 hours from those locations. 
I'm watching TV in my bedroom with my sub and I step out for a moment.  I don't hear anything.  It's quiet.  My sub has paused the TV so I don't miss anything while I'm away.  Does anyone else's sub do this? I'm eating a snack while on my phone.  My sub comes over and empties the ash tray I'm using.   She's out by the pool in her bikini and grilling shish kebabs for dinner.  She comes inside and I ask her where she was.  I'm grilling kebabs for dinner.  I'm making them early so we can enjoy the pool.   I'm getting a massage while on my pool float.  She works on my legs arms and my neck.   I'm reading my book while sunbathing by the pool.  She's in the pool doing the same.  She gets out and heads into the house.  I ask where are you going?  She replies, to freshen up your drink.  She anticipates my every need.    
Why is it that some people who put dom on their profile think they can  automatically send rude and disrespectful messages to a submissive person? Do they honestly think submissive type person equals to no brain?  I'm submissive not a doormat to every tom, dick and harry LOL. My Master has earned my Trust, Loyality and Respect!!! and has my total submission!!!  I treat others respectfully however, I do NOT submit to others unless of course my Master wishes it so. With that said IF anyone decides to message me please keep it polite.  I have no wish to see your photo's and neither do I want to be spoken down to. I'm somewhat intelligent and can hold a decent conversation.  I'm just a normal everyday type of person who just happens to naturally have a need to submit to my Master whom I am extremely happy to belong to!!! Thanks for reading and have a lovely day!
There's something in the darkness I desire. That forbidden touch which ignites a flame in me i can't quite describe. Somewhere between fear and want. Somewhere between broken and whole. I hate it and I love it. The flame so close that I can't look in to it; "Look at me" But if I look too closely I'd want what you could never give me. You'd burn my very core and walk right Through the ashes
Played a game with another submissive. I had to guess where she lived and what organization she works for in under 15 guesses. I won so she sends me 6 revealing pictures and two email addresses of two friends. Which I can share if I wish, the realisation that her pictures could be shared has obviously made her feel very humiliated, but aroused at the same time. If I’d lost I would have had to do the same. 
Hello prospective submissive, I'm glad my post caught your eye, I've been looking for my pet slave for quite some time now, and I do hope you are going to be the one to fulfill both of our desires. But first, let me tell you a bit about what I'm truly looking for:I search for a submissive that, from the bottom of her heart, desires a relationship with her dom, her owner. This dynamic, and relationship, would be built upon a foundation of transparant communications, triplicate (physical, mental, and emotional) care, and proven mutual trust. Within this, I expect that my word and intentions are the law by which the submissive is beheld to, for her to surrender, both her control and her worries, completely to me, for I shall be the one to lead and to guide her. I do not mind to start off with long distance, but when the time comes, I would expect for her to be with me, and I have the means to ensure this happens, be it relocation assistance or otherwise.She should expect to have protocols be taught and enforced, be able to execute my instructions in a timely and satisfactory manner, assume basic household duties, engage in pet-play or pet-play adjacent activities, and eagerly look forward to affection in all its forms. Shared hobbies, especially nerdy ones, and deep conversations of whatever topics that graces the mind will be part and parcel for the healthy maintanence of the relationship.Do not mistake my kindness for a lack of structure or lack of the darker side of play, I am more than capable of providing affectionate cruelty with humiliating remarks, sadistic orders, and physical discipline. Ultimately, the shape of the dynamic-relationship will be influenced by the experiences we both share. If any of this resonated with you, and you are someone that places her owner first, I invite you to reach out. I want to learn more about you, and there is no substitute for communication.Do you think you would be the one to catch my eye? I look forward to finding out,Your future master
strength is gone I am so done being strong im breaking and shattering like a broken mirror i cant stand this feeling im breaking down and i am so annoyed with myself but taking it out on everyone around me as i lay here tonight theres not much more i can take the tears are shedding and my self confidence is non existing just what i fucking need im still breathing so i guess thats an upside but fuck it all im so done pretending that im okay and if you cant accept me the way i am than whats the point of being my friend im just so over it
Woman on fire:   In a world of soft whispers and gentle caress, There exists a woman, fierce and undeterred, With eyes that ignite like fire, she stands defiant, A force of nature, her spirit unyielding.   Her words are sharp, cutting through the silence, Her presence commands attention, demanding respect, She paves her own path with unwavering determination, Unapologetically herself, unafraid to be seen.   In her hands, she holds the power of conviction, A warrior in her own right, unafraid to take a stand, For she knows that her strength lies not in submission, But in the fire that burns within, a beacon of aggression.   So let her be, unbound by societal expectations, For she is a force to be reckoned with, a woman of aggression, Tearing down walls, breaking free from constraints, Unleashing her power, unapologetically fierce.
oh boy was I ill today, B started her crap again it settled in the pit of my stomach before I finally reacted to her childish behavior. trying to teach me a lesson, um not happening  she got told no more am I sitting for over 12 hours to get changed, she sort of laughed and you can't afford it. My response was your rent is going up to where it should be since you don't do shit anyways. I told her remember the state is coming this week he is a mandated reporter just pull your crap on me again she what happens there will be all sorts of people wanting talk to you. You messed with wrong bitch. Then I laughed and said I shit on my command, you want to pull your crap again. She won't give the bed pan to me, I don't have a strong leg to stand on my left leg is non weight bearing, my right leg gone. The hoyer could put me on my commode but B refuses to put me on it. Says she's afraid I will fall of it. come on really. I am so put out with her lack of reasoning, I am taking a membership with care.com they help me find qualifield caregivers that won't act this way. I have my friend for back up for now. she thinks cause she kissing my ass everything is good, nope I am done. she goats me into convo where it is obvious she is trying to cause an argument so she can play the victim. 
My Friend sent me this to proof read for his discussion of Slave vs Submissive Women. Enjoy  There are several distinctions and differences between a submissive and a slave. I will take the term submissive first. A submissive is a person with an intense desire to serve that does so under some conditions. The conditions would typically include terms of service, length of service, which areas of the submissives' life the dominant does not get to control, what the hard and soft limits are when they play or just interact, and of course the safe word. In many ways the submissive controls play. Hard limits are activities that a dominant will not be able to indulge with the submissive. Hard limits broken would lead to the end of a scene, relationship or arrangement and a serious breach of trust. Soft limits are limits that can be broken, but only after it has been discussed with the submissive. These are things the submissive is not excited about doing, but will try if it seems to excite the dominant or causes some latent excitement and fear in the submissive as well. The safe word ends all play. The dominant has free reign as long as he or she stays within the set limits. After a scene, many submissives go back to controlling their own lives. They slip in and out of the role of submissive in most cases. They continue to make their own decisions and even in a 24/7 situation will continue to control those areas of their lives that are off limits to the dominant. A submissive submits every time a scene starts or some activity where the dominant has been given control commences. The choice is hers or his every single time the dominant requires submission. A submissive can walk away from a scene because something is not working for them and completely slip out of role whenever they feel the need to discuss something about the situation with their dominant. This does not indicate a lack of the need to submit or serve though. Now we turn to the slave - the consensual slave. The slave gives up all rights to make their own decisions, becomes the "property" of a Master or Mistress, takes on the limits of their Master or Mistress and does what is asked of them regardless of their feelings about it. Sometimes a slave will give up all rights to property of their own and will continue to work for the household, having to ask permission to use any money they earn. Slaves earn privileges and do not have rights. A slave submits once - when the collar is placed around his or her neck and when something is difficult, has to ask for help to accomplish it. Slaves are not kept in basements or locked away forever. They are strong people who have an intense desire to please another human being and now has the freedom to live that desire and not have to submit to anyone else but those chosen by their Master or Mistress. Taking on the limits of another means that slaves have to ensure that the limits of the dominant they are talking to matches theirs, as their only choice is choosing the dominant. It is responsible to make sure that the person does match them or their preferences. Can a slave be sold to another? No, most Masters or Mistresses would never do that. Remember this is consensual slavery, a 24/7 arrangement with one person fully in control and another person obeying all the commands and wishes expressed by the other because both of them want this. There is often a lot of love involved in this type of relationship as well. There are mock slave auctions that are used as fund raisers in the community, and slaves would go and serve another man or woman for the evening, but they always go back to the person they chose to be with. Can a slave end a relationship? Yes, they can petition their dominant for release and no responsible dominant would say no if nothing could be done to heal the relationship. The difference between the two does not make one better than the other. I have seen countless submissives that serve as beautifully and perfectly as some slaves do and prefer not to be called slaves because of the negative connotation to that word. I have also seen many wannabe slaves struggle until they eventually found their place as submissives. It is difficult to devote one's entire life to another person but it is also incredibly rewarding.  
What it comes to what I'm looking for someone described it quite well for me; I want a vanilla man, laughing and joking, going out for dinner with me, days out etc etc. But then the same man to use and abuse me sexually. 
The everyday sized dick Dicks I remember - A (soon to be) collection of the dicks that have made an impression over the years.Here is one about my most recent boyfriend. Now ex.When we first met he had troubles keeping it up with a condom on. I made him practice and only allowed him to wank with one on until it wasn’t a problem. It would later come in handy as I could easily pour his cum where I pleased.

 In his ass, on his face.His cock was average. I came to enjoy it. Especially for tease and denial and long sessions. Fuck for a bit. Have him pause. Sometimes with a ruined. Or to be honest, most times. And then back at it at my pleasure. He could never make me sore, hence a good size for the everyday, several times a day.He knew that I needed something bigger and hotter from time to time though. And that my previous partners were well better equipped. We once scouted together at a sex club but none was big enough to pique my interest. I felt generous so I allowed a man to use my boyfriend’s mouth and ass though (a side dick to remember).I did really enjoy his obedience. He always needed my permission to orgasm. He did good except from one time when I rode him on a chair. We were in a communal space and I sat on his lap, back towards him. The view of my ass, the excitement from possibly getting ”caught” and me not slowing down made him cum hard and without permission. I think he felt equally ashamed and satisfied. I let it slip. I really wanted to be filled.
Gratitude and Adoration slave needs to Iive in a world of gratitude and adoration. The more it emphasizes those two mental attributes, the happier it will be accepting its true slave self. My training will help it develop these two alternate mental states, slave.
Dark Chocolate can be an exotic flavor  So creamy and smooth, you desire a taste  The aroma is inviting The visual draws you in and puts you on your knees I see you salivating so eager to please  I pull you closer and utter the words breathless and moaning "oh my goodness, stay right there!" You're such a talented pet and you know ho w to please
I'm so happy to be back on Collarspace. This is where it all started for me....about 10-ish years ago when I was just finding out about BDSM and really exploring my kinks (which is currently still evolving)...With that being said... being here is so nostalgic because I've met some amazing people here over the course of years. I'm especially excited to run into some old friends here. So a quick story time....years ago when I was here one of my friends from MIDDLE school found me on this site (not really sure HOW) but we had really good conversations and he talked about the way I use to treat him in middle school as far as being very bossy, dragging him around, TELLING him that he was my boyfriend made him KNOW that he was meant to be a sub/slave. It really put a lopt in perspective for me too because it showed me that this was in fact a n inherent part of my personality....to dominate...to take control...to be the boss...and it came to me so easily...so long short, I'm hoping that i run into this guy here again that would be amazingggg... either way I'm looking forward to the connections I foster this time around. 
Latest pet peeve:  "Not sure if you think I'm too old for you or not but..."  To me, that translates as "I don't have the confidence it takes to claim and dominate a younger woman so I am going to use wishy wash language so I don't look like a fool if she winds up saying I'm older than her grandfather." For fuck's sake.  Be a man.  Be like, "bitch, you probably don't deserve the cock of a tenured dominant like me but if you beg enough I just might let you taste the sacred Cum of a Real Man!"
I can more clearly understand why people lie on the web and on this site. Telling the truth often gets you virtually ghosted early, no matter how much people say it doesn't matter. Lying, on the other hand, gives you the option of dealing with it when it comes out, which it always does. I guess then you count on the other person saying "oh, well...it's not that big of a deal." There's no real reward either way, so... Oh, and I'm not 49 like my profile apparently says. I'm 53. If I make a move to change it, it'll probably lock me out for 6 months. And I'm not sure where my journal entries from 2023 went, but anyway...People really do suck
The Yearning for Grounding: Finding Purpose in a Dominant Dynamic.. We all possess hidden desires, yearnings that often simmer beneath the surface of our carefully constructed personas. One such yearning, perhaps more common than we readily admit, is the desire to be truly seen, and subsequently, guided, challenged, and even, in a sense, controlled. This isn't necessarily about literal ownership, but rather a deep craving for structure, direction, and the secure boundaries offered by a strong, assertive presence.The idea of being objectified, used for amusement, might sound unsettling at first glance. But on deeper reflection, it can be interpreted as a desire to be a source of light and joy for someone else. To be valued, appreciated, even celebrated for what you bring to their life, even if that role is perceived as subservient. This isn't about self-degradation, but rather about finding fulfillment in serving a purpose, in bringing happiness to another.The reality of a superior mentor, a "Guiding Lady" as it were, nurturing and shaping your path, speaks to a fundamental human need for guidance and direction. In a world often characterized by ambiguity and overwhelming choices, the prospect of surrendering to a trusted individual who can provide clarity and purpose can be incredibly appealing. It's a desire to be molded, refined, and ultimately, helped to reach one's full potential. Finding such a person provides a safe haven, a space where vulnerability is not a weakness, but an opportunity for growth.The cornerstone of any such dynamic is trust. It's not merely about submission, but about placing your faith in someone who will act in your best interest, even if that means pushing you beyond your comfort zone. The hope lies in finding a true, committed partner who understands the nuances of this dynamic and can navigate it with integrity and respect. This requires open communication, clear boundaries, and a shared understanding of expectations and limitations.Ultimately, the yearning for a dominant guiding force speaks to a deeper desire for purpose and commitment. It's a search for meaning, for a role that feels authentic and fulfilling. It's about finding someone who can not only appreciate your offerings, but also help you to become the best version of yourself. This journey may involve vulnerability, introspection, and a willingness to surrender control, but the potential reward is a profound sense of belonging, purpose, and unwavering connection. The key lies in finding that "true trusted superior person" who can provide not just direction, but also unwavering support and unwavering faith in your potential.
There's something seriously wrong with your brain if you're not enraged by the shit show dumpster fire that's occuring in our wonderful country every fucking second of every day since he stole the election.  Still supporting this disgusting and vile poor excuse of a human being is unimaginable to so many and yet here we still are. The lawlessness and lack of respect for our constiutution by the people running this clown show is impossible to comprehend.  There are far too many illegal actions occuring to list.  But the most recent that should make anyone with half a brain shudder is that the Epstein Files now have revealed that this piece of shit cult dicktator inserted fingers into 13 year old girls to test their tightness to determine their sexual value.  HOW CAN ANY OF YOU MAGATS STILL THINK HE'S QUALIFIED TO RUN WHAT WAS ONCE THE GREATEST COUNTRY IN THE WORLD?!!!! Gunning down peaceful protesters in broad daylight is unconscionable. But there are no words for probing young girls virgin vaginas for thir perverted pleasure.  We can only hope there's a special prison/HELL for this administration and all the repugnicans that have chosen to turn a blind eye to the atrocities that continue to occur after a year of this craziness.  SHAME ON ANYONE WHO STiLL SUPPORTS HIM!!!!  Our only hope for significant change is the midterms.  This will be our big chance. Otherwise we're doomed. FYI, men have asked why I would voice my opinions hwere.  My simple answer if that I want nothing to do with anyone who has no moral compass or soul. SIMPLE. And you can message and berate me but it just shows what an imbecile you are. Maybe try turning off faux news and see what's really happening.   
I recently had an unsettling encounter with someone who threatened me physically and when I blocked them they had another account and continued to harrass me. For the next few weeks I will not be engaging in looking for someone.  I will be checking here, but if you acutally followed the directions on my profile, you will know not to message me, as I will not be engaging in conversation.
Hot Ash ( My Thoughts ) ...  Sir Hugo Atlanta   ... "Hot Ash" is the worship and adoration of CIGARS.Its not your typical submissive fetish.I started smoking cigars when I was 13 or14 and was living in Isle Verde, Puerto Rico.I was in Old San Juan walking the quaint cobblestone streets, when I passesd a small store, with two men in the very back, the walls stacked with wooden "trays" that held pre-formed cigars prior to getting the wrapper, and band.I watched for a good while admiring their craft of hand rolling cigars. I bought a dozen or so freshly rolled cigars and lite up in the shop. The cigar was mild and had the flavor of hickory nuts, earthy.I was a young dom when I met my first "human ash tray". This was in the early 80's.This submissive girl was obsessed with "ash". She loved if I flicked the white/gray cigar ash into her cupped hands, or if I flicked it into her mouth, or even if I flicked it at her.When I blew out smoke she would take in a deep breath. I would also take the tip of my cigar and singe pubic hair leaving a burnt smell in the air. Just the act of blowing smoke into her eyes and face aroused her.The cigar made a fun probe giving the cigar a TASTE of female sex in my mouth, and the smell of female Pheromones right to my nose!!!That's really about it for HotAsh I also love having a relaxing blow-job while sitting back puffing my Artuero Fuentes 8-5-8 Claro/Candella or smoking a Monticristo #5 while having my feet rubbed and my toes sucked, as I stroke my cock looking at my ashtray."Hot Ash"Sir Hugo (Atlanta, GA)
My view on men’s roles. Men are fun. I love spending time with them. What’s even better is that the worse I treat them, the more they love me. It’s like the ultimate hack. To me, men fall into two different utilitarian categories: Almost Equals:  like I said almost!!!!!men whom I fuck, often those in the top 10% of the universal cock size range. I do not date these men and simply meet them to have a good time. It is important to note that I do not submit to these men.  Inferiors: men whom I cuck, use as subs/slaves those in the bottom 90% of that same range. You are in my life for the purposes of being my cum rag,  card, and emotional tampon. I stir something inside you and make you feel more alive, even in slavery. Note how there is no superiors category. I do not believe that there is a man alive or dead who is superior to me. Women create life, men are that life, therefore man is product of woman. You cannot be superior to me because women make life. You know I speak the truth.
My Personal D/s Relationship Requirements The question was posed to me (back in 2019) “What do you require in a D/s relationship?”  While at first, I thought it would be a simple reply over a text, one thought led to another and it quickly snowballed.  (Phrasing, I know…)  I quickly realized that there really was no quick, succinct answer and 70 characters would not be enough to relay my requirements.  Some thoughts came quickly (Phrasing!) while others I feel I need to ruminate on. First and foremost, I require honesty.  Don’t lie through omission or do it to save my feelings or whatever.  I’d rather have an honest, adult relationship rather than a childlike fabrication where I don’t know if I can trust what is being said to me.  You may be brand new and that’s as ok as being an experience veteran.  You may be barely legal; (that I will require ID for) I’ll still teach you.  If I can’t trust you, I can’t play with you. Secondly, I require that my “s” have the ability to effectively communicate with me.  Whether it’s with words, sign language, texting, or moaning, they need to be able to make their opinions known to me.  As the Top/Dom in the relationship, it ultimately falls to me whether to acquiesce or deny any requests.  The bottom needs to understand that I’m never going to do anything to intentionally harm them but I also recognize that I often fail to effectively communicate my actual intentions/motives if not asked the correct questions. That can be alarming or scary. I’m not going to punish someone for wanting to understand what I’m doing or thinking; I encourage questions.  If I’m not conveying myself satisfactorily to the point where danger may be legitimate, I do expect (safeword) to be invoked. I also expect to be kept in the loop as far as my bottom’s day to day life goes.  I don’t need a thorough breakdown (0700- woke up, 0703- used bathroom, etc.) but if there’s something bothering them, it will effect what happens between us.  One thing bothering them, one lingering suspicion about something seemingly trivial can and will through off their ability to assess a situation and their reaction to stimuli.  I do understand that, sometimes, a day can push you to a mental breaking point that just requires a thorough flogging to take your mind off it; if that’s what is needed, I will allow it but I will know to check in frequently.  Plus, especially if there’s distance between us, I like to know you’re still alive.  There’s nothing quite as undervalued as the text, “Hey. I had a rough day; I don’t feel like talking now.  I’ll catch up with you tomorrow.” That tells me you’re alive and I can back off on the worry. (Be ready at 6 am for my text/call though.)   The third thing I want out of D/s relationship is a connection.  Not just an interpersonal one, but one on a deep mental level.  For lack of a better phrase, I need to be in someone’s head.  I need to understand how they think on a deep level.  Many take my classic Cannibal question (yes, I got it from “Silence of the Lambs”), “What is your worst memory from childhood?” as overly personal and creepy.  Not my intent.  Unfortunately, to date, that is the best question (leading to follow ups) that I have found that truly lets me get into someone else’s head.  It tells you
The last days where pretty intense. Intense because what happened with me and how I come near my true self. I was allowed to spend my last two nights bound. The second permission came from Skadi directly and created a small rush in my body. Yes, I do like to be restricted and it is a mix of very different feelings. I enjoy the fact that I am restricted in my movement, I do feel pretty when I see the cuffs, chains and looks on my body, yes I can't sleep very well but it creates also a wonderful feeling in me. And much more.I also experienced sensory deprivation a bit more and it is unbelievable what the sensory deprivation combined with the lack of sleep makes with me. It brought some things to the surface and I never felt so open.At first I didn't understood what there was coming up or at least part wise. It would take to much time to explain my second night but I felt very overfilled in the morning. Overfilled with emotions, pictures, lack of understanding, to less sleep and a very open mind. ... A second round of sensory deprivation brought some answers. But I wasn't in the same mind sate like 1 to 2 hours earlier. I ate something and drank also an espresso. This changed my mind state and made me less open and somehow also less vulnerable. So what is the learning? It was deep, it need training, it needs time, it is a part of my development, I can be open about it and accept that it is right to feel normal about all of it. ... Yes, I could be more detailed but not right now.  
Embracing my slumber, I feel as though I'm in a dream  The softness of your caress, has me feeling so serene I want to open my eyes to make sure you are real  I will not venture, because I don't want to interrupt what I feel  The moisture begins to flow as my body loses control  You have me at this point and I will never say no  Relaxation and anxiety are about to collide  Multi orgasmic pleasure, I will never hide  WOW!
For those of you who do not already know.. i have a medical condition called lymphedema, it affaspects my legs. The condition caused large ulcers to form on the backs of my legs six years ago!! my left leg healed up within the first or second year, however the ulcers on my right leg are still there. At one point it was one large wound, about the size of a dinner plate!! They are much smaller but still a significant size and depth. Anyway, my wound dressings are soooo painful!! i am currently using preion pain meds, extra strength fake Tylenol, concentrated cannabis, and cannabis gummies.. NOT all at the same time. Today i ate a large pineapple flavored cannabis gummy. i was told it was equal to 3 servings!! i was STILL in severe pain for more than an hour and a half!! Full on bawling my head off and big fat non stop tears. Should ANYONE have a suggestion.. please leave the information in my mail. Any help is GREATLY appreciated. Thank you all, so very much.
Stop with all the games. In or out. On or Off. Either you want it or you don't. Follow through. Commit. No one word messages. No one liners. Say who you are and what you can do.Don't say you can, then say you can't. My wants and needs are clear. READ the damn profile. I will update it soon.  I SEEK A SUB LIFE PARTNER!!
I've been dating a married slave lately, her very Vanilla husband has given her full permission to explore her Kinks and sexuality which I personally know takes a lot of faith and trust in his wife and I deeply Respect her husband for the gift he has given her. So this starts something very new to me being in an relationship with a woman in an ENM relationship, which in turn I guess makes me poly/ENM.   But as she is married there are obvious limitations on our relationship so I continue to seek the Kinky woman to spend the rest of my life with that will be OK with me continuing to see my married slave or even having the slave join us. Very open to dicussion and possibilities.
drama at home :( mom turned her back on me and gave me an outcasted look earlier today all for her hubbys aproval... however i know shell do anything in the world to give my little brother a "fauther" exp. even it mean Xing me...  in the end i cant hate her for what shes doing but dang .... talk about a shotgun round to the heart :(    big empty hole needs to be filled .... lol get it.    im very loyal and honest to the bone probably the nicest person youll ever encounter however dont get misslead ... i totally love to push my envolope and live life on the edge... ive expirienced and expiriemented with a lot in my opinion ... please dont ask... "" what kinda exp do you have -_____-"" just fill in the blanks as we conversate ... ... im ALL go with the flow so more then likey i dont know what im doing next week so idk if id be available or intrested in meeting you.. i know im not always on here but im ready for my next chapter and willing to give a special someone all of me to mold into their perfect being :)note im intrested in heading out to Texas, NY or socal(home) however not a deal breaker im just as intrested in nearly anywhere on the east or west COST!! more inland .... ehhh but will consider of course :) if your intrested drop a message anyone who takes a chance on me wont be disappointed. oh ps.. NO Flakes and for gods sake picture please .... 
It will be rare if I meet anyone. And if I do it's because I see that we could possibly form a friendship. I'm looking for other things in my day to day life that I do not seek online. Please be mindful that I'm not interested in people from abroad. I'm not looking for anything to do with cyber interaction, picture exchange, video calls of an intimate nature. No exchanges whatsoever. And above all I want decent people in My life only.
I should make it clear that I am very sexual individual/pup. I'm constantly horny quite often and quite randomly, I'm guilty of pleasuring myself very often. Even reading this makes me rub myself. I don't want to be in control; I want to be made into an obedient dog, just drooling at the idea of the amount of bliss hidden behind one key (or more- hopefully). I certainly don't want to dig to deep of a hole for myself; but I need a master who'll relish in my pained cries for release. Maybe a week on and a week off? (A week off being a week of only that). I think any good master could train there dog to beg for either cage off or cage on.   I need a master who'll tease me for hours on end just to see me squirm; someone who'll hold my key hostage while forcing me sub for his friends; I want to earn every drop of cum I squirt through the scars on my body and the cum of others that I can guzzle like a good boy. The meaner and crueler you can be to me the better. After all, most good pets are obedient for a reason 😈
LOCALS ONLY is a joke In an our globalized world, the internet has revolutionized how people connect, particularly through Collarspace, an international dating platform. These platforms were created to bridge geographic divides and allow individuals from different countries and cultures to meet, communicate, and build meaningful relationships. However, a growing trend among users seeking "locals only" on these very platforms reflaspects a perplexing contradiction. Using a globally-focused platform with the intention of limiting interactions strictly to one's immediate geographic area not only defeats the platform's core purpose but also signals a misunderstanding of what international dating services offer. It also severely limits your dating prospaspects. Makes your already shallow dating pool even shallower. (Is that a word?) The "locals only" seeks fails to understand the primary purpose of international dating platforms. They are designed to connect people across borders—whether for cultural exchange, long-distance relationships, By default, they attract a diverse user base from around the world, all seeking the novelty and potential of meeting someone beyond their immediate environment. When a user signs up for such a platform and states a preference for "locals only," they are effectively asking the global system to act like a local one. This is akin to walking into a sushi restaurant and asking for a hamburger—not only does it miss the point, but it also disrespaspects the design and intention behind the service. Moreover, the "locals only" preference is better suited for traditional, region-specific dating apps and websites. Platforms like Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, or even regionally tailored apps are more efficient and practical for meeting people nearby. Choosing an international platform for a local search is an inefficient use of both time and technology. It can also lead to frustration, as the majority of the user base is likely to be from other countries, not your neighborhood. It's like booking a flight to attend a neighborhood block party—you've gone too far for something that was never meant to be a long-distance trip in the first place. There’s also an implicit irony in the behavior. Many who seek "locals only" on international platforms may be unaware of how it appears to others: confused, inconsistent, or even insincere. Are they open to new experiences, or are they using the wrong tool for the job? It can send mixed signals to other users, especially those who are genuinely interested in intercultural communication and international relationships. It also raises questions: Why not just use a local app? Why filter out the very thing that makes the platform valuable? This illogical contradiction can create an unwelcoming environment on what is meant to be an inclusive and borderless space. International dating platforms thrive on openness, diversity, and cross-cultural interaction. Narrowing the experience to only include people from one's immediate vicinity diminishes the richness of that diversity and may even alienate users who joined to explore love beyond borders. In conclusion, searching for "locals only" on an international dating platform is not only ironic but also counterproductive. It undercuts the very essence of what such platforms offer and sends a message that contradicts their foundational purpose. If one’s interest lies strictly in local dating, there are countless platforms better suited for that goal. But to truly benefit from an international dating experience, one must be open to the world—otherwise, what's the point of being on a global stage?
me gusta tenerla frente a mi escritorio en cuatro con el culo para arriba abriéndose las nalgas, solo para tenerla expuesta frente a mi. por muchos momentos ni la veo, a veces salgo del despacho, ahi la dejo, en esa posición incomoda... mostrándose para mi, aun en mi ausencia.   I like to have her in front of my desk on all fours with her ass up and her buttocks spread open, just to have her exposed in front of me. For many moments I don't even see her, sometimes I leave the office and leave her there, in that uncomfortable position... showing herself to me, even in my absence.
Master's WritingsSadomasochistic Play and the Importance of ConnectionIt is too easy when participating in Sadomasochistic play of any kind, be it impact, pain play or any other of the associated fetishes, for the experience to become emotionally and even physically disconnected between partners - the Sadist becoming consumed by their connection to their tool (whip, cane, etc), the precision of their strikes, the technique used, and the masochist becoming lost in the enormity of the sensation, the loss of physical control as the pain increases and the anticipation of the next strike. As both become lost in their own world within the scene, it is easy to experience a loss of connection between them as the scene progresses.I find that maintaining or even working to build greater connection during such play is one of the most important things I can do as a Sadist and a Dominant. For me as a Sadist, who is also a Dominant and a Daddy, I find that there exists a uniquely rich opportunity to be a caring and connected Sadist, through physical contact, the use of voice and deliberate and careful observation that goes beyond the safety aspaspaspects during a scene are very important in changing a sadomasochistic scene from something done to the masochist to a shared experience that binds rather than separates.In all my play, regardless of the fetish, I seek to create experiences that enrich, nourish and build relationship. While not every scene or situation can accomplish these every time, they remain a goal I strive for whenever possible.
1 Samuel 21:12-15 David had to act crazy to escape the hands of A'chish. He was afraid when they mentioned that he was the one they said of that Saul killed his thousands but David his tens of thousands. David felt the energy in the room and knew he would not be safe in this man's home. Remember Jesus said in Matthew 10:14 if there is no peace or they reject your words leave that place. David did not feel safe and hence pretended to be insane to get himself out of a situation. There are times when the Spirit will encourage us to act in certain ways to keep us safe. After all we should worship in spirit and in truth. The one in us (including in Jesus) is greater than the one in the world. We are covered under the wings of the spirit. Make sure however you have the right spirit in you for there are 2 spirits in this world. The one of God and the one of the Antichrist. Listen to the one of God, be molded and shaped by the one of God. Grow in His spirit. 
Mmmm, looking forward to some play time Mon/Tue/Wed night. Submitting to you, Mistress. Sissification, high heels, bondage, gags... Send a short note here.b. sissy
My dog clogged the toilet.  Okay, technically, I am the one who flushed the wipes, but it was all her. You know those treats that fit into some sort of holder and are meant to occupy the dog for quite some time? She ripped the holder and instead of it taking hours to eat the treat, she ate it in a matter of minutes. Everything seemed fine. And then I woke around 2:30 to her trying to eat a great big pile of mush that had just come out of her butt. Gross. So what do I do? I grab flushable wipes to clean it up. And then I flush them. And then the toilet revolted. Thank the lord I have more than one because I forgot about it until I came back upstairs and it's still unuseable. I looked up how to fix this. There is no magic solution to pour in there and dissolve them. The plunger is most definitely not working. I cannot call a plumber and tell him the dog clogged the toilet. This is just another problem for Tomorrow Me. And probably Middle of the Night Me. And that's not even the end of the story, but that's all I've got left to give tonight.  *Update*  I FIXED IT!!! I seriously thought I was going to have to explain this to a plumber. I just spent a lot of time plunging. And um, then I had to pee. So maybe I had the magic solution because right after I tinkled, flushed, and plunged, it worked. Natural plumber, at your service. 
I am currently seeking to add two new members to our House, one male and one female. The male candidate would ideally have a military background, but this is not a requirement. These will be live-in positions that require a full commitment. Currently, our House consists of myself (the Master) and two female slaves, and we are looking to expand to three active members, including one male.If you are interested in a true 24/7 live-in position where multiple members live and work together towards a shared goal, please email us for more information. The requirements to join are, able to drive, and open to learning a new way of life, both in the M/s lifestyle and in general.As the Master of the House, I consider myself to be straight, articulate, cultured, and a deep thinker. I value self-respect, honesty, integrity, and principles. I seek to dominate completely, both physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. My goal is to bring out the best in my property through intense training and development, while also fostering trust, obedience, and loyalty.This is not a role-playing or fetish-satisfying opportunity, it's a lifestyle that I live 24/7. I am not interested in subs who want to "top from the bottom" or those who are seeking a short-term commitment. If you are interested in total power exchange, authority transfer, good training, discipline, attention, and leadership, please contact us. However, if you have contacted multiple houses and stopped after a few emails, this may not be the right fit for you. MasterG
Worst furniture put togetherer ever. Okay, I didn't fully look at the directions. But it was just drawings, no words, and all of the legs look the same. I only had to take it slightly apart twice. And then I couldn't get the final two screws in (that's what she said), but just on the top. It'll be okay. Really though, every time I put something together I have to take it apart at least once. Or if I'm too far in and the mistake isn't that horrible I just leave it. The second to last desk I put together had a piece flipped so you saw the rough edge. The last desk I put together I may have had to take the top off and stripped the screws so one kind of hangs down, not fully committed to it's life purpose. Eh, it's functional. Don't worry, for the real stuff I call a professional. While I was screwing in the kitchen (wink wink), someone was in the garage attaching things to studs so they wouldn't fall down on my head. Studs. Screws. It is very evident that men named these things.  Side quest... I mostly know the, what's it called, alpha bravo charlie thing. I might have to think about some of them. But it's not fun at all. So with one guy friend if we're on the phone and he didn't hear me I'll make up my own. Saliva, hippopotamus, egg salad, licorice, vestibule, eclair, squiggles. He always makes fun of me that I use girly words, and then he'll say things like rainbow, unicorn, balloons, etc. Cracks me up.  So yes, sort of a little bit mostly capable of putting things together. This is what you do when you're masquerading as an independent adult. 
OK wow.! A lot of things have changed and I just recently stumbled back upon this website. I will update as a refresh my page and friends list, I know most members are no longer active. Honestly I'm all over on fet but.... ya know. Over the years I have learned more about myself, my wants and needs as well as the lifestyle I want to lead. Even got a few close friends into the pot lol.  We will see if this page is worth saving, I did make some substantial connections here once upon a time. 
So, after the crap over the weekend, and the years long crap with this site not working properly anymore, I have decided to stick with Fetlife only. Those who I have talked to, and still talk to, I have either given the option of Fetlife or some chat outside of this format. This site has not been the same, or worked properly since it was CollarMe. Sad to say. But, good luck to all who are trying to hang on to this obsolete dinosaur that the creator who got it in the divorce no longer cares for.    Fallenangel out! 
Morning all -- we are entering a interesting time of the year - let's see who's up to the chellenge Pegtember Pegtember is the month of September when those lucky enough get to participate in pegging. Whether that is receiving or giving, rejoice- its Pegtember   Locktober When typically men put on chastity cages on for the entire month of October. No Nut November  aka  #NNN No Nut November (NNN) is an annual online challenge where submissive / slaves try to abstain from masturbation and orgasm for the entire month of November. Denial December aka #Dencember Denial December is a monthly challenge in the spirit of Pegtember, Locktober, and No Nut November. During the month of December, each day you must edge to the brink of orgasm in the amount of days that have passed in December (15 orgasms on December 15, 16 on Dec. 16, etc.). If you cum during the month, you fail the challenge. YOU MUST DENY YOURSELF ORGASM FOR THE ENTIRE MONTH TO SUCCEED. Good luck, have fun
I'm an open book! Ask me anything! It seems on the surface to be a very friendly declaration. Maybe you think "Wow, anything!? How brave!" And perhaps they are being brave and truly would answer any question put to them. But my experience is different. When someone says "ask me anything," their contribution to getting to know each other frequently stops there except for answering direct questions asked of them. There is frequently no sharing of "more" or stories of "Oh, when that happened to me..." Instead the only things I learn are the things I ask directly. Which shifts the emotional burden of getting to know each other from "US" to "ME." And later on, if I didnt know something, the blame shifts to me for not having the forethought to ask, rather than it being on them for not volunteering relevant information, or better yet shared blame for not getting to know each other better before XYZ. My first marriage was to a man that I believe was and still is a compulsive liar. And one thing he did that was excruciating to me was NEVER volunteer information. It was a method of CYA (Cover Your Ass) so that if he had to cover something up, the less that was known the fewer things he had to cover or sweep under the rug. Trying to get information out of him was like pulling teeth. So I admit, when I see "I'm an open book!" I have a knee jerk reaction, but it is not solely based on the experience with my ex-husband. I have dealt with more than a handful of people with that mantra both online and off over the years and for the most part, they have similar traits. No volunteering information, only answer if asked, no sharing about experiences spontaneously, and only share as much information as necessary to cover the question. My advice (unsolicited, worth what you pay for it) if you use one of these phrases and you are sincerely trying to be open and brave, is this: 1.) Find another way to word it. Saying you are an open book triggers a knee jerk reaction in more people than just me. 2.) Take the time to realize what you would like to know about a potential partner in early getting to know each other stages 3.) Be prepared to offer the same information about yourself without waiting to be asked each specific piece of information before you share it. What this may look like: Hi I'm Elorin. "Hi, I'm Jim. Can you tell me a little about yourself?" Well, you found me on FetLife so you know I'm kinky. I've been into kink for over 20 years, I consider myself a Dominant Sadistic leaning switch and I like canes. You don't have to tell everything at one question. But you don't have to make them dig for pieces of information, either. I didn't volunteer information about my relationship status, the number of pets I have, or my sexual orientation. You can give that information as it comes up. But don't be of the mindset that you need to hoard your information anymore than that each question needs a two page info dump. Pace yourself, be open, and share equal and similar information to what someone shares with you. My $0.02 ~Me
Who says BDSM is not theraputic... I found this interesting: Russian scientists from the city of Novosibirsk, Siberia, presented a sensational report at the international conference devoted to new methods of treatment and rehabilitation in narcology. The report was called “Methods of painful impact to treat addictive behavior.” Siberian scientists believe that addiction to alcohol and narcotics, as well as depression, suicidal thoughts and psychosomatic diseases occur when an individual loses his or her interest in life. The absence of the will to live is caused with decreasing production of endorphins - the substance which is known as the hormone of happiness. If a depressed individual receives a physical punishment, hard spankin, whipping, flogging, etc... , it will activate endorphin receptors, activate the “production of happiness”, and eventually relieve feelings of depression. Russian scientists recommended the following course of the therapy: 30 sessions of 60 whips on the buttocks. A group of drug addicts volunteered to test the new method of treatment. The results can be described as good to excellent. Doctor of Biological Sciences, Sergei Speransky, is a very well known figure in Novosibirsk. The doctor became one of the authors of the shocking "whipping" therapy. The professor used the self-flagellation method to cure his own depression. He also recovered from two heart attacks with the help of physical tortures too.

Seems no matter how much heartache you have been through, you trust in someone only for them to turn on you like a rabit dog.    All with the sole premise you have to pay for what youve done.   Yet I have been accountable for My actions.  So much in fact, I have given Myself My own life sentence.   But this person played like they were in My corner and had My back only to be plotting against Me.  So you can believe what you want.  But they only trying to destroy what they cant have the way they want.
  The script was essentially a love story.  The narrator, Heather, describes how she gets revenge after her husband cheats on her.  There's lots of sex and torture going on as any porn movie would have.  My character was simply an innocent girl who was captured and tortured because Heather's character thought I was the one her husband was with.   We'd have these read through sessions which to me were funny because I didn't have any dialogue other than some moaning and screaming.  If you think about it, not everyone has a good scream.  It took some practice.   I met with the makeup girl who handed me a bag of stuff.  What's this? I asked.  It's your costume she said.  I looked inside and there were 20 string bikini bottoms in various colors inside.  I gave her this puzzled look.  She said I know, there's a lot but I had the material and wanted to make them in different colors in case the director wanted it.  I held up a black one and it basically was a couple of triangles and some string.  I tried it on and it looked great.  I was able to pull the strings up high on the sides like I like it.  Can I keep them? I asked.  Of course she said.  I smiled, thanks!  After she styled my hair and did my make up we headed for the set.  There was a lot going on.  Gaffers were busily adjusting cables and lights and the cameraman was setting up.  I could overhear a conversation between the director and the set manager. SM: Ok Heather heads for the dungeon and her and a guard go at it.  Then they talk about torture girl.  Who's torture girl? Jim:  She's that new bondage model from the pool party.   SM:  Oh, ok.  They go to the dungeon where torture girl is tied to the wheel of pain.  They spin her around and interrogate her.  Then they leave her there and go to the bedroom and the guard and the servant girl do it on the bed while she watches.  How do you want to light that? Jim:  I want it as natural as possible.  No floods.  The prop master, the nice man who built all the equipment on set came over to me.  I stood in front of him wearing my bikini bottom.  He looked me up and down.  "Ok you look great.  Are you ready?".  I nodded yes.  He led me to the wheel.  I was instructed to stand inside the wheel spread eagle with my back to a small square pad.  My wrists and ankles were bound to the rim of the wheel and a wide belt was strapped to my belly.  Tight.  A gag was put on me.   PM: It takes about 5 seconds for you to spin around.  Thank goodness you're tall so it should look fantastic.  When the director says action I'll flip the switch.  You'll keep spinning until he says cut.  Got it? I nodded yes.  I looked directly ahead.  I sucked my tummy in as much as I could.  I heard "Action!". I slowly was spun around and around.  I just stared forward trying not to react.  I could see my image in the monitor in the background as the camera slowly panned down from my head to my  toes.  My ribs were showing and my hip bones were sticking out.   Heather stood in front of me and pretended to interrogate me.  I heard  "Cut!". The machine stopped.   Jim: No no this won't work Heather.  You're asking her questions and she's wearing a gag.  It doesn't make sense.  Let's do it again without the gag.  He walked over to me and asked, Are you ok? Do you think you can do it again? I nodded yes and smiled.   My gag was removed and the scene was reshot.  After it ended the set erupted in applause.  I was untied and helped to a nearby chair.  The actors on set said I looked awesome and sexy.   Jim:  We can stop here if you want or we can do the rack scene.   Me:  I feel good.  I'd love the rack.   Jim: You see Heather?  Those muscle girls were a joke.  What good are all those muscles if you can't take any pain?  Ok everyone, take five and we'll stretch her on the rack.  
Things I need - i.e.- things you can offer It comes up a lot that subs write me with their list of wants. Usually, they don't bother to ask what I want. Occasionally, there will be a subbie that realizes that in a sea of "gimmie gimmie" they may actually have to offer to GIVE something in return. The brightest of them (very rare) offer before they ask to receive. They look for a way to make themselves useful, to offset the cost of the time they want me to give them. Because let's face it - if I'm spending X hours talking to them, getting to know them, negotiating their interests and limits, prepping for activities, tying/spanking/torturing/disciplining/yada yada,.... that's X hours out of my own life that I'm not getting stuff done around here. While it can be fun to do the doing part, it hardly ever actually happens, so all the time I invest in it was wasted unless they are reciprocating something. In the spirit of making it easy for the hopeful sub with a clue, here's a few things I need done or help doing that would ingratiate them to me. I need basic general housekeeping for my crazy chaotic house- dishes washed, litterboxes scooped, laundry put away, kitchen cleaned and organized... Yes, all of this could be done nude or in a maid's costume if that tickles you. I always need deep tissue therapeutic massage. Non-sexy kind. Neck, shoulders, hips, feet... I do a lot of stuff, and I wear myself out a lot. It hurts. I need someone who is good working on a roof - I need help getting the roof itself painted with a white radiant barrier. (No, that CAN'T be done nude or in a maid's costume. Nothing outside can. We don't involve the neighbors or advertise our kink. You can cross-dress for it, but it has to be appropriate to the task and setting.) I need assistance getting cinderblock pillars built on the edge of my yard, covered in molded cement stones, and the faux wrought iron fence sections installed between them. I need garden and landscape help. I need help figuring out how to lower the temperature upstairs in my sister's part of the house in summer. I could use some help working on my truck. Occasionally I reach the limits of my abilities with it, and finding a decent mechanic is rare. I need to organize my garage and my basement. I need to dig out my basement and move the dirt to a specific I need to finish the drywall in the upstairs bedroom. I plan to renovate my bathroom. Anyone with plumbing experience or skills laying marble tile would be welcome. I always have a project or ten in the works on top of everything else. Feel free to ask about them. Even if you just ask, it shows me that you at least read, and that you are considering the balance of effort. That sets you ahead of 90% of the messages I get. And yes, if you are too far away to come do any of these things in person, but want to have something to offer, I do have an Amazon Wishlist, which I can share with you by request.
Further to my previous entry: As I sit here in Dubai, caught in the uncertainty and danger of the recent conflict, I find myself reflecting on something simple yet telling. I felt a sadness that she could not offer even the most basic human expression of concern. Not because I expected comfort or rescue, but because her compartmentalisation and defences run so deep that even a small gesture of care was beyond her reach. It is a quiet disappointment, not in her as a person, but in the limits that life has carved into her. I would have reached out to her without hesitation. She could not do the same, and that truth settles heavily, even as I accept it.
So I'm such a lucky guy. i have found my perfect partner who possesses everything I have searched for . An inspirational lady who has a core of bravery,compassion and care. She is a tour de force and I feel a sense of pride when I take her hand  I am excited for our future together as we can give one another so much. my profile will be amended accordingly . thank you Collarspace ,for all your foibles you have worked well for me.   i hope everyone encounters the same luck as me .
On a scale of 1 to 10 how masochistic is perpetual optimism? Unmotivated and uninspired. Tired of games and lies, one way streets with self serving agendas masquerading as .. smh.. whateverPossibly overly disappointed to the pt of incurable cynicismNot just w the quality of submissives Ive met the last 2 yrs. But with everything all around in general.. partly bc the World slips more Dystopian every year, and surely partly bc a lot of the venues people bands and activities I used to enjoy no longer exist ... sigh.. Def time to shake things up but ..  what to do .. what to do
Lucifer as you lead me down this path I just want to take a second to thank you and Jesus for all you have done in my life.. Through all the ups and downs  Through all the turbulent times  I am truly grateful for everything I have learned and experienced  I welcome in the future I get to walk in with you both leading me.  From your daughter and friend, I love you guys!!  Or like I always say I like you. Alot. To the both of you, thank you. 
's not easy to move a mountain. Success depends on whether the mountain's prepared to move and how much explosive you can access. Some people make a living out of this kind of work, and know exactly how much dynamite's needed to create the right kind of result. 
Don't come to Me with some very small, predefined vision of what *you* want, especially if you are going vanish without even saying goodbye of Goddess will not be contained in the small box you try to put Me in.  That's not sub behavior.   Instead come to Me prepared to be amazed.  Open to the possibilities that there is beauty inside of you that you did not know existed, and hopeful that I will find it, and show it to you. Goddess can work wonders with a girl who is open to discovery 
Be who you are—fully, unapologetically, without hesitation. Not the version shaped by expectation. Not the version softened to be accepted. But the one that exists underneath all of that—clear, aligned, and undeniable. Let what no longer fits you… fall away. All the expectations that were never yours.All the identities you outgrew.All the roles you kept playing out of habit, not truth. Release them. Allow everything that isn’t aligned with you to dissipate naturally—without force, without resistance. What’s meant for you doesn’t need to be held together artificially. Free yourself from what no longer exists. And then… build again. With intention. With clarity. With honesty about who you are and what you need. If matriarchy is your path—walk it with confidence.If servitude is your language—speak it without shame.If structure, devotion, power, or surrender call to you—answer fully. There is nothing wrong with becoming who you were meant to be. The only mistake is refusing to. — Mistress Nikki Vixen
Master's WritingsSadomasochistic Play and the Importance of ConnectionIt is too easy when participating in Sadomasochistic play of any kind, be it impact, pain play or any other of the associated fetishes, for the experience to become emotionally and even physically disconnected between partners - the Sadist becoming consumed by their connection to their tool (whip, cane, etc), the precision of their strikes, the technique used, and the masochist becoming lost in the enormity of the sensation, the loss of physical control as the pain increases and the anticipation of the next strike. As both become lost in their own world within the scene, it is easy to experience a loss of connection between them as the scene progresses.I find that maintaining or even working to build greater connection during such play is one of the most important things I can do as a Sadist and a Dominant. For me as a Sadist, who is also a Dominant and a Daddy, I find that there exists a uniquely rich opportunity to be a caring and connected Sadist, through physical contact, the use of voice and deliberate and careful observation that goes beyond the safety aspaspects during a scene are very important in changing a sadomasochistic scene from something done to the masochist to a shared experience that binds rather than separates.In all my play, regardless of the fetish, I seek to create experiences that enrich, nourish and build relationship. While not every scene or situation can accomplish these every time, they remain a goal I strive for whenever possible. 
Received a suspicious email on Fetlife from a supposed dominant. While this kind of thing is a regular occurrence, I could not find this exact text online, so here is the original message in full. Hope it helps someone to avoid being scammed... - I am Mistress Taylor, I moved recently to London. I have been visiting before now but recently had a job transfer and this time I am sure of staying around here for at least 4 years. so I need a submissive partner who is close and can be pleasing, obedient and able to make me achieve my dominant erotic desires. I strongly believed that females are superior. That is why I am not asking you to serve me, it is your duty as a male to serve me and do so with your total devotion. I have a dominant nature that wouldn't go away so looking for a submissive to enslave is only logical. It would be interesting to have a discrete Mistress/slave relationship with you but it is not as easy as you simply wanting something and then getting it. If you are available to be owned and controlled by me and also able to meet with me soon to start your training send me your email and I will send questions that I have for you and some photos. We can continue to communicate from there too. Mistress Taylor. I responded giving a junk email, to which I rapidly received this follow-up email, accompanied by photos which do not match up with their Fetlife profile photo... Note the very unlikely push towards real-life meetings, and the unusual emphasis on a speedy reply including phone number and incriminating photos... I am hoping we can arrange a meeting soon but only if I feel that you are serious and passionate about serving me real time. I am not interested in giving online training but to meet and be served. Anyways I am in London for a long time and willing to meet for erotic and kinky times if I find that we share similar desires and kinks. Adore my photos and you should send me photos of yourself as well no matter how slutty or kinky. For now you should answer my questions as quickly and honestly as you can. 1. Do you believe in female superiority? 2. What is your phone number and can you text with it? 3. Are you willing to be collared and owned for the sake of my pleasures only? 4. Why do you want to be a slave instead of a normal partner? 5. Do you like to dress in a certain way while serving your Mistress? 6. Do you have experience in serving a Mistress as her slave? 7. What do you do for a living? 8. Can You listen and follow directions? 9. Do you have any major fantasies that you’d like to explore? 10. What are your limits? Finally, I need you to place a number from 0-10 near each "item" on this list of bdsm activities to rate your interest in it with regards to serving as my slave. 10 is the highest rating. If you have no knowledge about the activity then simply write "NK". I hope with these I can be more open to accepting you. Chastity / Strapon / Pain (etc etc)  A couple of emails later, the nature of the scam was revealed... I can meet you on a weekday or weekend but as far as a first meeting is concerned, I have a fetish of meeting in a bdsm facility for the first meeting with my slave. It gives me a proper avenue to orientate and train my slave. I know a place that gave me the thrill of proper domination. I used one of their rooms the last time I was in this area. Let me know if you wish to meet in this place and you could book us a day or two there.  
Guys be like, “men are visual creatures.” Ok mr, than why do you look like that? Maybe a lotta fellas don’t have mirrors at home. I had to be honest with a male  yesterday and explain to him that a lotta times the women THEY WANT, that don’t want them, might not be due to their financial status. A lotta times us women might not find you physically attractive (men never wanna consider this). Although your grandma and momma been telling you how handsome you are your whole life (they’re supposed to BTW) That doesn’t mean that women who you cross paths with on a daily basis look at you and think,“yea, I’d like to feel his penis inside of me, or be romantically involved with him”. This explains why it’s some not financially stable men that stay with a fine ass Boss Chick. Some men can get outta prison Tamar and be living with lawyer in her water-front condo & driving her Benz truck within a week.

Sugar, spice, and everything nice :> pretty n pink my favfav color. Hii I'm Makayla smooth latina sissy femboy on a new path starting HRT. I'm kinda new but know what I want.  Talk is cheap and flakes.  I don't even know what to say to u.  I never flake. I love excitement total submissive sissy slave willing to commit to it all for the right master.  Loyal fun-size super cute love panties thigh high socks. Skirts outfits and attention lol. I'm good around the house. Love poppers blindfolds and cuffs.  Mixed with sissy hypno and hallucinagentics -- mind blowing.  I know what it takes to be THE perfect liddo sissy and willing to wrap my life into it serving master 24/7 never saying no. Seeking a new chapter in my life so I preferred moving the heck away from "home' 
Profile supplement: It sure can be diffiicult to sum up one's self succinctly! I don't wish to sound like a pushover. Yup, I'm a nice guy. Kind, thoughtful. Opens doors for women. This does not mean however, that I don't have rules, expectations, and urges to be pretty damn rough with someone within our own realm. It just means that it's all about consent. You need to respect me to the point that you want nothing more than to give me total control over you. That kind of power is delighful, romantic, intoxicating, and fun. And yes, it can be rough too. I picture myself as smart, talented, and deserving. Sometimes authoritative. I would not however define myself as 'alpha' and don't think that's a necessary attribute (or even a respectable one) to have in order to be a Dom, or a good leader in general. As the adage goes... there's a big difference between being 'a boss' and being a leader. 
Dear future sub,    Skip the house work . . .just be here for me today. life is hard. looking for a sub . .not just a sub but a love is hard. I could use you here so much. Just to exist, give me hope you will come. that we will find each other. Comfort me in my pain and sadness, rejection from potential subs. Hold me. kiss me. shower me with love and show me all these subs are wrong and I am worthy. Yes, I know I am deep down. but it's hard and painful. taking risks and being rejected in certain ways hurts a lot. If people weren't rude and looking down on me after talking a while . . or just doing it in a kind honest polite way, non judgmental. Life is also very hard. sigh . . .just need you here. to rest in your arms. take my pain and fear and give me hope i will be with you soon.
"I like to compliment those who ask for humiliation." - ForcefulDutch    I agree with this so much. I don't want to insult people. I want to coo over them like I would puppies.    "HOOZA CUTIE? YOUDA CUTIE! AREN'T YOU A CUTIE? YES YOU ARE! YES YOU ARE!" Yes, I will do that shit in the middle of a play party, because I have no pity.   Speaking of which, I'm attending the Yes M'Lady munch on Tuesday. squee!
It is important to know that while I am seeking, finding and sharing, My time is not My own and I can and will only continue to engage those who understand and accept these circumstances for what they are - limited. I am a full time caregiver.  Not part time, not some time, not the times I choose.  I have minimal pockets of time, not of My own, when I am able to engage those who wish to be a part of My family and household and life.  Once you are here and serving, we are full time engaging and living these moments together. It's tough.  I get it - BELIEVE Me.  However it does not change that your position is to make yourself available to Me at MY times of availability.  This will not be a hurried process, nor will it be slow, but I am not free to just get up and do the hokey pokey any ole time! If you wish to be considered, at least have the ability share when I am available and understand that when My charge is unwell, everything goes full stop for about two weeks while I nurse and care for MYSELF and My charge. Just a little information for those who have no clue about Alzheimer's I've included some information below. -Any trauma to the head:  1. letter from the IRS or arguement, 2. head cold, COVID, headache, 3. head hit on the corner of the t.v., fall off a bar stool, slip on ice - these are all significant, affect the head, and depending on the intensity and duration of the impact, determines how long it will take to recover. https://www.alz.org/help-support/resources/care-education-resources For those who care, Mum had covid and is doing much better.  It will be another week or so for full recovery - and yes, I am relatively okay, considering. A grateful thank you to those men who continue to display great character and worth to Me and in turn, to Mum.  There is one who continues to provide strength on the most darkest of days. 
  Copy-paste messages? Really?? Congratulations! You've just been delivered the Kiss of Death section. At the exact moment you should be putting forth real effort to make a first impression, you show me you're too lazy to even try. And the best part? You actually expect authentic engagement from me while you vomit recycled garbage into my inbox. Pathetic. I don't entertain laziness, and I certainly don't reward it. Goodbye.    
i have to confess. I am not here for fetishes. I don't think of the BDSM world in the terms of kink. I see it as the world, my life, it's not about fun. It's about serving and submitting. If you want to get me, learn about me, more importantly let me learn about you. if I like you. If i am capable of meeting your needs and wants. Yay! I will happily do so. what is important to me is you, your beliefs, your intellect, your values etc... if I want to see a penis. I'll ask. Otherwise please don't honor me with it. 🏜️      
I love being in a good place: Loving my response to a nosey kinkster:Have had 2 monogamous unions with 2 kinky odd balls I have had to put the odd balls back in the fish tankPersonally in a good place, received awards for my service literally, networking, working on my health and wellbeing, great hair, jogging again to loose some weight but average size so easy tone up and my bum looks great already just chiseling around average meat so all goodHey, my response is pretty chilled I must beI am sure you are knee deep in honest pussy all the bestC      
The sub that craves the lack of choice- being taken and thoroughly controlled and used with no say in the matter at all. The only thing he can do is endure. What he's enduring also contains this enjoyable sexual experience. A passive psychology coupled with a body that is wired towards a more intense physical sensation - and he's the result. He wants to submit, he wants to perform as expected, he needs to please and to be sure that he has. He is willing to go to great lengths to demonstrate how completely eager he is to give himself to another along with a deep need to be taken to that level. He is a slave who craves the intense sexual sensation, the knowledge that he is giving great pleasure to another and to satisfy all the needs of the other, and through that he gains his satisfaction, pleasure, gratification and the positive sense of self as well as the ease and peace that comes from total surrender.
I went to a paint and sip party last night at a friend's house. It was a lot of fun. We painted a tropical scene with a conch, and let me tell you, there were a lot of vagina looking shells on those canvases. Just no way around it. In the end I think mine looks more like a croissant with a vagina growing out of one end. All in all I'm happy with the painting because I Bob Rossed the hell out of it. My sea has waves. The rocks are mossy and you can clearly see the angles and where the light hits with warm and cool colors. Bob Ross. Such a good man. He taught us so much, didn't he? He left me high and dry on vagina shells, though. It is what it is. 
I totally get that plenty of Dominants, Daddies, and Masters want a teensy little twinkie to toy with.  But I'd like to think there are tops out there who get a special thrill from big-game power plays, from putting a bigger, more masculine bottom in their place--or from gradually transforming them into the doll of their dreams.Sure, there's pleasure to be had in tormenting a twink, but don't you think there's something intoxicating about using all that juice to humble, humiliate, and torment someone who can't resist the sway of your dominance?
Lately I wake up in the middle of the night and the puppy is snuggled right up to my side. Tonight she had pushed her face into the crook of my neck. I love how much she loves me.  Someone recently asked me for clarification on something in my profile, that if he was to assume the responsibility, what was it that I was responsible for and how would it affect his ability to assume responsibilty? In all this time no one has asked me that. It's a brilliant question. I needed to think about it because my initial reaction was to create a laundry list of what I think I contribute, things like loyalty, honesty, snuggles, nurturing, etc. And then I paused. Those are all things that I do contribute for sure, but it doesn't account for what the other person needs from me, especially to function as person in charge. I will absolutely be and do all of the things I say are my part. And figure out how to be and do what he needs added to my part. Give and take. Relationships take work. Snuggles are the easy part. 
The me in the cage pic was taken at a all dungeon play space that I have been frequenting lately,  I go back again next month. The pic was taken by my Cuddle Buddy (yes it's a thing, and I'm blessed to meet and cuddle with someone who actually gets it, as many do not) seeing as he was sweet to accompany me that day and I was giving him a tour and decided to ask him to a pic of me inside. Smiles   That pic was taken on St. Patrick's Day of this year 2024 hence my wearing green. Lol I didn't play that day due to my designated play partner not attending (due a prior engagement) so I and my Cuddle Buddy just socialized, ate on some provided  snacks and beverages and quietly observed scenes that were happening around us and of course we cuddled up on a nearby sofa.  He isn't a Kinkster but he is comfortable knowing that I am and doesn't mind attending kink parties with me if ask him too. He's a great a cuddler and a good friend.    Smiles and hugs,   Katota 
Hooked up with a guy a few years younger than me tonight.    And in case you haven't seen my profile I am a BIG BHM.   I mean I am fat, and he was worried that his six inches wasn't going to be enough, but I assured him it would, and that I know what to do, what I need to spread to make a smaller cock work so he said we would give it a try.     And not only was he enough, he was still thick enough that he damn near took my breath away as he slid inside me.    He also came closer to making me cum than any top ever has.   I mean i felt like i was on the edge about to leak a little bit but not quite.   But at least on the plus side, I may have found a regular top since he is so close.
Imagine yourself in a room with the one you care deeply about and trust completely.  He asks you to stand up, put your hands by your side and to close your eyes. He gives you a kiss on the forehead and asks you to do exactly what he says and only what he says.   Wanting to be a good girl you politely agree.  A little kiss on the cheek and you feel him gently unbuttoning your shirt ever so carefully to not touch your skin.  He walks around behind you and slowly pulls your shirt off while a single finger caresses all the way down your back as he tosses your shirt down. Once the shirt lands on the floor his hands are placed on your hips, both his hands go slowly up your arms and at the elbows they come together in between your shoulder blades. You can feel his warm hands unlatching your bra strap and suddenly the twins are free from their restraints. Your body begins to tingle and your blood starts to flow anticipating his hands cupping your awaiting breasts.  He denies you of his touch when you feel his hands in the small of your back. He gets closer and gives you another little kiss on your neck.  His hands then follow just above your pants line to the front and you feel a gentle bear hug with his skin pressing up against your back. Suddenly you realize his hands have made it to your belly button and started to move back to your pants line.  He holds you tight to his body and demands you kick off your shoes. You quickly comply and they go flying across the living room.      With your heart racing and the tingling going all the way to your toes he unbuttons your jeans and pulls them ever so slowly down to your ankles.  His hands occasionally brushing down the outside of your legs.  With your eyes still closed you sense him moving around front.  He calls you his good little girl and gives you a passionate kiss on the lips.  Just as quickly as it began he stops, making you yearn for more. He leans in and you feel his warm tongue placed on the front of your neck, his tongue proceeds down your chest right between the twins and continues to your belly button but stops short. Your nipples now hard as a diamonds feel deprived because they got ignored.
Femininity is key. So easy being a women. All you need to change a mood is stick on a nice dress and get your hair done. Need to find a true submissive man with a large cock and good at foot and back massages.  
If you think I would spit on you  And call you a cunt I'm sorry but that's not what I do. I'm way more subtle , and with far more respect To be such a prick to you. I will set you rules that you will have to obey No doubt you will break at least one every day Rules on your dress, you grooming , your place On how you must act, in our private space I will cane you for punishment,long and hard Strap you  to keep you line You will beg my forgiveness , plead with remorse Bits that's all part of this design. For a man is man , head of the house The role of the woman is to serve And when each knows their role ,then both both understand Each gets all that they deserve She will get love, certainly and discipline ,  Each in appropriate measure He will have a woman , submissive and pleasing His to always treasure.   I
Seems to be a HUGE lack of respect on this site.  People badgering others to conform to what they are looking for and to abandon what you want to serve their needs or wants. I respect what people want and need.  I read profiles, if they match what I am seeking, then we have a conversation, but if they are seeking something so far out from what I want, why would I contact them and try and get them to change what they want? That is rude. You may be that desperate to settle for whatever, but I am not.  You will not be happy with just anything. Don't be lazy, take the time to find the person that actually fits you. Do better people
You felt something real when you found me. That pull you’re describing… you don’t need to question it. Come here. Be still for a moment and let everything else fall away. In my presence, you don’t have to chase, you don’t have to prove, you don’t have to search anymore. You’re safe here. Not because you’ve lost yourself… but because you’ve found where you belong. If you’re going to be devoted to me, then let it come from clarity, from trust, from the quiet certainty that you’re exactly where you’re meant to be. I don’t need you overwhelmed. I need you steady… focused… and aligned with me. So come closer. Stay here. I chose you — Mistress Nikki Vixen
I went for a new tattoo yesterday. It's a straight razor, just about full size with a red grip. The razoe is opened a quarter of the way. The blade has a 2 dimesional abstracted eyeball on it and there's a banner wrapped around the razor. The banner says "SUFFER WELL" It's on the underside of my right forearm. I'm right handed and that's My floging/whipping arm.  Sadly, My local tattoo artist is retiring. I have one more appointment with him next week and then that's it. He's done more than half My tattoos and I will miss our connection. And now I'm feeling even more like one of the last of the Old School Dinosaurs.
I am an experienced master with many years in the lifestyle. I have led a poly house in the past and i have had several slaves. What i seek now is both ambitious and challenging.  For me as well as for you. I wish to build the family I no longer have. I desire to build it around the BDSM lifestyle that I have chosen to live.  I have a small ranch in west Texas. It is a labor of love and endurance. I seek those that desire to part of something larger than themselves. Greater than any one person, even myself.  While at the same time meeting the needs of Master/slave relationships.  It can be both long or short term engagements. Although I prefer long term and those that would desire to wear my brand. Gender and orientation is immaterial. I desire slaves, males and females for manual labor and maintenance. I seek domestic service slaves for care and upkeep of the households. I seek service slaves for the care and upkeep of the workers. I desire business minded professionals to develop the ranch to be profitable, and working slaves (even if outside the ranch) to contribute to that profitability and sustainability. Singles and couples, a place can be found for you. Whether a short term, learning and training opportunity or forever home. Abilities and skills determined. Used and useful. This is not about free labor, free sex or free anything. It is having a place, a home, acceptance and being needed. The brand is not something you earn. It is something that is to be lived up to every day. It is second chances. It is defiance of norms. It is surviving the coming storms.  Chains and cages? Of course! Not just physical ones, but on your mind and heart as well. Whips and canes? Lol. Try me and find out.  All i ask is that you look inside yourself. It is not about whether you think you are worthy or capable. You do not get to make that determination. That is always for others to determine.  Even as a Master has to prove they are capable of leading and being looked up to, worthy of submission, obedience and reverence.  I would love your feed back and constructive criticism is welcome.  Help me determine what this should look like to be successful and sustainable. 
Update January 2024Since I have been contacted from several subs or wannabe slaves, I like to clarify few things:A) I am not available for online domination, period. I want to feel the smell of flash and the noise of breathing...B) I do not intend to become your Daddy or mentor. Period.C) Yes, I am available to consider LTR with the right person. Who knows...maybe you are in somewhere out thereD) Yes, I am bisexual/pansexual or whatever you want to call somebody who simply has no problem with his open sexuality. E) I disregard one line messages suche as "Hello Sir"Be curious, be open minded, respectful of others and...enjoy life!
Here is one of my theories. All straight men are bisexual.  I have been engeged to a dominant man and he was in complete denial that he was bi. He worked out, drank his protein shakes, enjoyed me a bit of a bimbo (boobs out long hair) but was intrigued by sexuality. To all the dominant men who contact me, open to my way of ideas.  Your a free to be yourself and be open minded but don't judge me because your afraid of your own desires. I am a bisexual strong women and I have no shame. This does not interfer with my values in the community, what I do in my bedroom to relax with age appropriate men (above the age of 30) is my business. If you have an issue I suggest you kiss my backside but you would probably enjoy it
I'm only saying I'm disappointed in myself because I wasted time getting to know a few boys over this last several months who have all turned out to be unable to be consistent or follow through primarily because they are not real and don't know it. I wrote that last message because many messages I get are claiming to be sub's but the first and only thing they want to discuss is sexual service or bondage. Bondage takes time to get to since a trust and rapport must be built and I don't appreciate being used as an outlet for him to get off on his chosen method of not getting off. That is not sub service and my profile clearly states that's not what I'm looking for. Yes sexual and sensual pleasures are part of the relationship but you have to build a relationship first. (I'm not risking myself to legal repercussions just to race to fulfill some ass holes dream of being "forced" into something. Anything) These subs that think otherwise are fooling themselves and wasting the time of good dommes. This behavior is no different than the guy on match dot com who plays the same move on a lady in the vanilla world. "Oh hey i like your profile and see you posted for ltr but would it be cool if we just meet at a motel cuz im not really in a position right now for all that, but you were just so cute" Men are still men even if they claim to know what being a sub is and most men have been trained since birth to persuade women to just do whatever he wants. Even if he wants to be a sub he can then be a selfish sub. These subs are fakers who are "topping from the bottom". I will not abide such behavior.
Another crossroads   So, I've reached that point again. I've lost hope in finding my One, and my heart wants to consider trying vanilla. Again. I know it's not for me, but I am tired of holding back my feelings, and want a relationship to pour them into. I don't need a man in my life, I am a whole Woman by myself, but I do crave the companionship.   I don't want to force anything, and honestly I kind of feel sorry for the boy I do find. I have a lot of pent up feelings, and desires, and he's going to have a lot to make up for, for making me wait so long to find him. I keep reminding myself that I'm not going to find what I want in the vanilla world. I tend to attract narcissistic, alcoholic, abusers in my vanilla life. I read somewhere that I may not attract any more then anyone else, I may just see it sooner.   Nonetheless, where are you my sweet, slave boy? And why aren't you in my bed worshipping me?
Cookies. I promised several people that, if this adventure happened, I would write it up and share it in my journal. well, it indeed did happen last evening, Saturday, but not exactly as I thought I had it planned.  The set up for this story is that I did some work for a woman living in a over 55 community and only charged her for the material costs which I commonly do when I first work for someone I want them to like the work and not worry about the price. she was very grateful and gave me one of those looks like she was ready to pay me back in a way if you know what I mean and then she said: I'm sure you can think of something that I can do for you and shot me a wicked smile I knew that was my opportunity so I very calmly said: Willl you bake me pecan chocolate chip cookies? She let out what could only be described as a horse laugh, which I'm sure they heard in the adjoining units on either side. and then I followed up with, but that's not all, I want you to bake those cookies naked with 8 inch by heels, fishnet stockings and garter and a bright red ball gag. there was a long pause, kind of like dead air on a radio station and she finally opened her mouth and said you've got to be kidding! I'm not burning my boobs so that you can get off on some weird fetish! And I said OK what about wearing a tight swea and no bra? I expected another flat out no response but she said yes I think I could do that. But I'll also be wearing a skirt, nothing less than that, and no ball gag! And if That isn't good enough then you can go bake your own cookies! While it wasn't what I'd hoped for, I was still going to get my cookies, so on Saturday I came over with the ingredients she told me to get, and I sat in her kitchen, drinking coffee, while she walked back-and-forth across her kitchen in her very tight, white fuzzy sweater, and a very tight short leather skirt, plus stockings and heels, and she was an absolute delight to view. The blush in her cheeks said it all. But the best part was, she was actually baking my cookies! Once they were bagged, she Pulled them from the oven, tucked the tray up under her breasts and she said, would you like a cookie little boy? YES, Yes I would! then I asked so are all those cookies in the tray mine? Or should I ask if everything on the tray is mine? She just smiled and put the tray on the counter. She grabbed me by the hand, pulled me down the hall. We walked into her bedroom and she took off her sweater., God, those were better than any cookies!  We did all sorts of things that evening and late into the night. Considerind we're both in our mid to late 60s, so it wasn't like your first high school sex, in the back of your dad's car, but it was close.  in the morning, I woke up to the sun streaming in on my face lying next to a woman who still had her stockings and garter belt on, my head nestled between her large breasts, one of her arms underneath me,the other around my neck, and I thought to myself.... life is good! Lou  
Really wish this site would let know if people blocked before trying to send them messages. Its like nobody is even here but they will just block you anyways.  Clearly they will be alone as they are always finding a reason before even talking to somebody to block. Those types are why on-line or life is something people are unable to live properly. Back when started on 300 baud it was like nobody could hide their comments or from others. Realize that failed in life so its just wasting time to be here or in this world.  Doms just want somebody to take care of them financially while they will list a bunch of lies otherwise.  Instead of finding what is needed or who would benefit as are unable to do things in life.  They want the Fairy Tale of the Rich dude or so without them having to work or spend their own money.  Others will have problems with Cocaine or Alcohol which creates issues as they can't even control their own self much less others. Many don't have the most money or are unable to keep a stable job. So there those who depend on the subs to keep the money flowing. Read about how can change the font size in a message but they don't allow to set the sizes how want.  Wish lived a life where got married or had kids at like 20. Then they would already be out of College or owning their own homes.  Nobody ever liked me in the RL.  Nothing has really changed even in school would not belong or have people teasing me how talked or so. Though by HS everybody knew me to point nobody would really bother me after this gang jumped me.  So called friends didn't help me then so its telling of reality.  Interesting who helps or will try when don't even know them really heh.  Site used to be really good but now can't even punctuate.  Trash just blocks so its like why even bother.  Nearly impossible to trade information to see in RL.  Used to have High Scores in Space Invaders or other games which could play for hours.
Thanks to anyone who takes the time to view my profile and send a message. I ask, respectfully, that you please, please, pretty please not send me messages with "Domly" (lol) or humiliating language.  I am not your submissive at this stage and it's insulting to us both to use this sort of language in an initial conversation. Let's be pleasant and polite and courteous, please.  I'm referring to messages with text like "Hello slut" or "Nice udders, whore." I'm not offended by this type of language - but I don't find it flirty or charming and it definitely derails any chances we have for actual communication.  
SOmetimes I want a lunch date  sometimes I need my ass licked  sometimes I need a toilet  sometimes I need a pedicure  sometimes I just need to vent  sometimes I want to travel for free  sometimes I just don't want to be bothered  sometimes I need a massage after playing sport  sometimes I need someone to wait in line for the exclusive, yet limited sneakers I want  sometimes I feel like pegging a slave
I’m real, single, and ready to meet. You should be too. Now, don’t get me wrong. Lots of people contact me about my profile and say job well done, I/we are like minded, BUT blah blah blah (I am taken, I am too old/young, I am too far, etc.). They respect the realities of the universe that have made us like minded, but not a match. I can respect that. I am certainly grateful for friends on this journey. This Journal entry is not addressing or discouraging friends. This is about those who express legitimate interest… So, I think my profile makes it clear… I am looking to date, I am looking to meet someone. I didn’t think I had to clarify after an in-depth profile such as the wone I wrote that I am not interested in you if you are married, living with someone, have a stead significant other, etc. Now, if you are “seeing” other people that is fine. Those other people should not be living in your house, sharing your bank account, doing your grocery shopping (unless it is for a date or something), paying for the renewal of the tags on your car, etc… “Seeing” someone means you are taking them to dinner, and possible having a good time after once in a while. “Seeing” someone means that person KNOWS you are “seeing” other people! If I call or text when you are with them, there is no need to hide your phone. I mean, I don’t expect you to respond or answer, you are spending time with someone else, that is fine, we aren’t an item, but I have enough self esteem I will not be the other woman, and I will not be hidden. If you will cheat on your wife, girlfriend, etc… You will eventually cheat on me too, and thus I am not interested in you. I am interested in loyalty, honesty, and devotion. How can one submit to someone who is offering anything less? Obviously, I don’t expect it day one. I will probably see other people for a time too. A bond must be built and that takes time. That being said… a bond isn’t built in messages on the web miles apart from someone I have never met in person. We might send messages a lot after meeting because you travel or something, but meeting in person is crucial to me. The internet is far too anonymous and there are far too many players out there. Heck, I had a guy wait until our third in person date once to finally admit he was married! It was because he couldn’t maintain the in person dating, he finally had to come clean though. He would have spoken with me for a year online had I let it continue that route… So, I am not a huge electron communication person. I also hate phones. I will even schedule my doctor’s appointments via the web if I can. Phones are used to call if I am lost getting where we planned to meet, or if I am running late and need to text to let you know. I don’t send kinky or risqué picture via the web or phone. I don’t use snapchat… where all communication disappears before your wife can see it. We send a few emails, seem to be hitting it off, then why should we share everything in more emails? What will we talk about when we get together? Continuing to chat online is going to leave me awkward and silent with nothing left to talk about in person. Left get some coffee, have dinner, see a movie. Let’s get out of the house! Yes, I know I say I raid (game) 5 nights a week… Only two of those nights are nights I feel I really can’t skip right now, and raid doesn’t start until 8:30 at night, and those are nights in the middle of the week… so if you really want to be drinking coffee that late at night, in the middle of the week, I will see what I can to lol. If one more guy tells me, well, I have a significant other, but the relationship is dead, has been for some time, but it is complicated… and in the same breath, tells me he wants to be my Dom, and manage my world… Get your house in order before you enter mine which is already in order. I am worn out on chatting with guys who seem amazing, lead me on, but are just using me as their side joy because they are unhappy in a relationship, they have no intention of leaving. Again, if you would hurt her by chatting with me… what are you going to do to me one day? Are there any good ones left at my age? Should I just give up the search? Guys… fish or cut bait. Show me you aren’t married lol. Show me you aren’t running around on your girlfriends. Show me it is worth the time and effort to continue investing myself in some of these conversations that start to feel sketchy… Pick a coffee house and tell me when we are going!
Forced Fem and Humiliation might not be so bad after all   A couple of years ago my Master thought up a new way to humiliate me when he bought a little frilly French maids costume online. He plan was initially to make me wear it while I did chores around the house. He wasn't in to TVs or sissies he just thought it would amuse him to see me walk to the end of the garden to put bags of rubbish in the bin especially as the garden faced a busy street. He also found it funny to lock the door behind me so I would spend a while cowering outside trying not to be seen before he opened the door again. Don't worry the humiliation wasn't a bad thing it could just get a little cold out there sometimes. He also used to make me wear it when his friends visited to serve them drinks. It was on one of those visits with Masters friend constantly putting his hand up my skirt (sanctioned by Master) that the subject of it being cold outside came up. The friend suggested only the dress wasn't enough I should at least have proper underwear and at least 1 pair of stockings. Master agreed and one day I came home to the additions to my new outfit sitting on the table. I was instructed to go and try them on. After a few struggles with the stockings I came out to show Master. He approved and showed me how much by ensuring that my new knickers I had only had for 10 minutes needed to go into the wash. Now when I did chores I was properly dressed and Masters friends seem to like it too. I liked it too.  I was never a sissy but I looked forward to dressing up, even running to the bins never seemed so bad. I confess I have dressed up sometimes since, and would like someone who likes it to push me  bit more.
If you are a Male Dominant, I  will not interact with you.  You don't fit who I am seeking. 
Here is an open thought. I am not on this site to find love. I have been loved, I have been engaged twice to the same man, that was a wild ride. I am not the type to have kids, however I can see myself adopting the runt of a litter who has no hope and a limited future and share my survival skills to make the runt the front runner in life.  I have always loved being the assumed underdog in life. I am a working professional so I will expect a man I try to connect with to be the same. I am not interested in a person's bank balance or assests, honestly none of my business. I do expect a man who is in my company to not be a cheap skate and I have met a couple. I am not expecting to be bought but I do expect if a man wants a BORN women who enjoys her feminity I should not have to spell out make an effort with flowers, make an effort with running the bath, make and effort with you see a pretty dress or skirt and think I know ONE women in my company who would look good in that. I appreciate men contact me and offer they want to be one of my two men but when I ask you to unmask yourself and tell me who you are, I want to know I am not inviting an unkept, unwashed, unclean, diseased, unemployed dread of society into my world or my bed. I don't think that is a hard ask. If you want to see my face not an issue, I do WhatsApp and you can even video chat for all I care but if you make me jump hurdles I will make you jump the same bar.   C
It's been nine years since I took this test.  Someone commented recently on how life has changed in that time, so I thought it would be good to take it again.  Not sure why the line spacing came out double, though. == Results from bdsmtest.org: == 98% Rope bunny  95% Submissive  89% Masochist  88% Primal (Prey)  86% Slave  78% Degradee  71% Voyeur  69% Pet  52% Exhibitionist  50% Brat  48% Experimentalist  44% Switch  40% Non-monogamist  40% Vanilla  39% Primal (Hunter)  6% Owner  6% Dominant  0% Rigger  0% Ageplayer  0% Brat tamer  0% Daddy/Mommy  0% Degrader  0% Little  0% Master/Mistress  0% Sadist   
I need to get back into writing .    A few things to list...    If you are into Q, tRump, or basically Republican, we are not likely to get along. If you are not fully vaccinated don't bother me.   We are settled and doing well near Ithaca NY.  It's  a beautiful area.   We have a small hobby farm and Enjoy trying to grow things.    Kink is a natural order of daily living add the spice.      ~~ Mz Stormz
I smiled, as I pushed you on the bed, seeing as your body hit the pillow top and sink into its softness.I felt you, as you body contorted when I ran my tongue over the hood of your clit, like a pace horse.I was turned on, at the way you looked at me ging when I slid between your thighs.I melted when you ease into your role as you were given direction.I got excited, as I felt you explode after trying so hard to hold on to that feeling.I am proud, as you walk away naked legs shaking like a newborn calf.I feel relief when you put your head on my chest with a wicked smile on your lipsI can be at peace, knowing that the morning will come and you will still be mine.
Greetings. I am searching for a sub or a slave that knows his place and will serve me in multiple ways. Would certainly enjoy if he/she could serve my feet, rub and massage them, lick them, be trampled under my feet, used as a footstool for a long period or time. Am also into facesitting and a lot of other naughty things. I am from Europe, Czech Republic. Not into online relationship, so before you write me, consider if you can really come for a visit, because I am blocking and ignoring everyone who will waste my time with promises.
I saw a pic by accident of my kitchen, there is boxes every where. Supplies I ordered are piled in the kitchen not opened. The whole time was gone the tenants did absolutely nothing my front porch is full of stuff that was supposed to be taken up to one of my barns. But nope it's still there, and more with it. I am so done dealing with this. They are nice to my face and tear me to shreds, and I am not around, are my adopted neice and her trans girlfriend, her mother in law (my caregiver) who thinks she runs the house. NOT. I have help coming in to help with heating, boy didn't I get blasted by my caregiver telling me how to run my house, she backed down when I put it on the line, want me sell my house so you can elsewhere. I'm not selling my house and have decided what I am gonna do with my house. And it's not what ppl think. She seems to think she can speak to me anyway she likes and I will just take it. She doesn't know me very well. liawiv
I am NON-BINARY and I use They/Them/Blue pronouns. ALL submissive candidates will need to c0mplete The F0rm. It's lengthy, it's personal, and it might require some thought on your part. It's a job application. If you want the job and the benefits, then it's worth your time and effort. If you cannot visit or meet within 6 to 8 weeks, then don't waste my time or yours. Come back when you're ready to serve.
I've been getting emails from subs and slaves that if we lived closer, I'd certainly pursue . I am not looking to build an online relationship with anyone that I cannot physically inspect and get to know in person and will not waste my time pretending that just Because we may align in the things that we seek , I'm willing to wait to meet . With that said ,if you cannot meet within two weeks to a month of us conversing , I am not interested AT ALL in chatting or a pen pal .It definitely takes time away from potentials that we can start getting to know one another in person as I'm seeking a long term commitment not just an online play partner .   I wish you all luck on your search in finding the perfect Domme for yourself but know I am NOT a Misstress that will play games about what it is I am seeking to find or my journey getting there so that I can finally say goodbye to the search of finding my forever .
I don't use the term fake when describing a person who isn't suitable for Me. A bottom pushing his own needs is off my radar because an actual submissive with five years experience ar giving up authority outside of play and in life who drives his own car, who already goes to munches and clubs is IN my radar. So many on here who contact Me are not suitable so I rarely login here. Guys wonder where all the Dominant Women are? They are not on here for the reason I just gave. Pushy bottoms want a a kink service but don't go to fetish clubs to get their kink fix. There are plenty of tops at fet clubs happy to give twenty minutes of play for a drink and foot rub. Quid-pro-quo, give something in return as two human beings. Simple.  Mistress Whipplash Ma'am   
   Submit to yourself and to the idea of submission. Give in. Give it up.    She will see it. She will be drawn to it. She will know.      She will hear your cry and see your hunger and it will cause Her own to rise    Express it without hesitation and without vulgarity.    And most importantly, express it with dignity and in a language of whispers only She will hear. Live it from your center, from your soul. 
16 years I've been on this site, almost to the day.  Probably longer than that because I'm not sure this was my first profile.  And before that, I was on other similar sites all the way back to the beginning of the internet, and the old bulletin boards.  And before the internet, yes, I am that old, the bdsm magazines and underground classifieds.  I search, sometimes for years because I have very high standards and there are a lot of haystacks and very few needles in the bdsm world, until I find someone, then I go away.  Unfortunately none of those relationships have been forever, though they were each wonderful in their own way, and I guess I am blessed that each ended on good terms.  My last relationship ended 3 years ago.  I am here, on FL, a few other web sites, and on a bunch of the dating apps.  I have a lot to offer, both bdsm and vanilla.  No, I'm not a sugar daddy.  I'm happy to share.  Supporting a lazy deadbeat isn't in the cards.  If you don't have enough pride to contribute to your own lifestyle, you don't have enough pride to be with me.  I'm seeking a woman who is highly intelligent, who possesses and values integrity, is trustworthy and able to trust when her trust has been earned.  And of course, who desires a long term, real life, 24 7 relationship built around a core of bdsm.  Also should be at least a bit of a geek to insure we have vanilla interests in common. Everything else is negotiable.  You have my permission to contact me first if you think we might be compatible. Please be willing to video chat immediately for both of our safety.
Had some (full of his own envisioned self importance) guy, try to tell me i was using the site wrong and to 'please' leave.  Guess my little self, offended him enough (somehow?) for him to take time out of his life to try and tell me what to do.  Good luck with that, ~dear~.  Unless you own me, i will do what i want, how i want.  So keep scrolling. Unless you're just trying to give me a good laugh with your gall.
Summer Love   Under the golden sun's embrace, Two hearts entwined, in sacred space. Amidst the laughter, 'neath the sky so blue, A love bloomed bright and pure and true.   In the warmth of summer's gentle kiss, Two souls found love, pure bliss. Hand in hand, they walked the shore, Heartbeats syncing, forevermore.   The ocean whispers secrets old, As their love story starts to unfold. A tale of passion, of love so sweet, In summer's warmth, their hearts did meet.   Through starlit nights and sunny days, Their love like waves in endless plays. Summer love, a timeless song, Two hearts entwined, where they belong.
I opened my profile and was overwhelmed with mails. Some from old friends. Some from people I didn't know. I did continue conversations with a couple new people I was anxious to get to know (one near, one far), and ghosted by both. I may have said or done something unintentionally in a way that could be taken wrong, I have been rather ill with a sinus thing (not the kind of sick I am use to) and a tad grouchy and needy. But still something could have been said in a message perhaps?
Two Amazons are throwing a Frisbee. This wasn't just another pool day.  It was our friend's birthday.  She asked if she could spend Saturday with us at our pool.  The weather was going to be nice and the water was nice and cool.  My wife prepared a cooler with ice and drinks.  She set up three lounge chairs next to each other by the pool.   Our friend came and we started the party.  She brought kinky shots and we had drinks and grooved to the music while we sunbathed.  When it got warm we jumped into the pool.  My sub was in between us making sure we were well oiled.  I could tell she was enjoying herself.   After awhile, I grabbed a Frisbee and began tossing it to our friend.  She got on one side of the pool and I was on the other.  My sub, smiling, watched us catch the disc behind our backs, between our legs and other tricks.  There we were, two tall athletic bikini girls having fun.  My wife enjoyed every minute of it.  
As a More Typically Dominant CD Gurl it is easy to become frustrated and disalusioned with being Dominant when you do not have anyone reliable to Dominate. Too many panty wearers who think that is Crossdressing and never want to go beyond that. As stated previously, most CD Gurls also have a Submissive nature, but does not appear until she meets a more aggressive and Dominant CD Gurl or a Dominant Male who knows how to entice a CD Gurl to go under His spell. Since a CD knows the fun of being chased, a more Dominant CD gurl is usually the chaser, it is easier than imagined to switch and become the submissive once a more powerful force cums and takes you. All your other ideas become more of a fantasy and the overpowering reality of being taken and controlled seems so easy to succumb to. Sort of like a Moth being drawn into the fire, but knowing you will not return to the way you were is the daunting temptation of being seduced. In messaging with some ex-slaves they said the hardest thing to deal with was boredom when not used often enough for domestic and sexual servitude. All the changes and different usage was something all slaves learn to comply with and a Master's Protocol was Law. So an idle CD Gurl can easily be drawn into a Life of Servitude as a Submissive Slave, and knowing this can cause this to be an uncontollable yearning that can not be denied? So........??? Once the door closes behind you, you will be a slave to a MASTER. From messaging with several Masters, the general consensus seems to be if a potential slave is 1st properly broken and deprived of it's dignity it will become completely subjugated and dependant on satisfying it's Master as it's only goal and reward. It will not yearn or miss anything or anyone from it's previous life. Then the slave will be a slave that can be trained to any Master's protocols and it's new slavic life of eternal servitude. Even if the slave is required to wear a cuckold device it no longer thinks about having orgasms or masturbating. A properly trained slave seeks to give it's Master sexual stimulation with orgasms. To simply deny a slave what it once had and craved in it's previous life, it will still think about those things when it is left in isolation and restraints. The slave might even be considering a way to escape? Properly broken a slave never thinks about the past. It's life belongs to it's Master. Master decides everything. You probably will never have a female again. You might never wear clothes again, but if you do, the clothes will be chosen for you. Might be as little as a jock strap? You might never wear girlie girl fem clothes as you once loved to wear. You will no longer be bi-sexual, you will be 100% Gay for your Male Master. You will be Owned Property.
Bound by Control: A Lesson In Surrender. Full story can be found on :https://www.thefetlibrary.com/story/1ead86ef-90ee-4925-b04d-93156fff8932 He woke up with a jolt, his body aching from the previous night's activities. As his eyes adjusted to the light, he realized he was alone in the room. Chrissie was nowhere to be seen. Panic surged through him as he tried to move, only to find his ankles still tied and something else. An unfamiliar weight on his cock. He pulled the thin sheet off and looked in horror. There was cock cage firmly in place   His heart raced as he scanned the room, his gaze landing on a note resting on the nightstand. With trembling hands, he reached for it, his eyes quickly scanning the contents:   "It won't come off without damage to your balls. I'll be in touch."   His breath hitched, a mix of fear and anticipation coursing through him. Chrissie's words echoed in his mind, a reminder of her absolute control. He was at her mercy, completely dependent on her for release and relief.   He tested the cock cage, the cold metal pressing against his skin. The note was clear: it wasn't going anywhere, and he couldn't remove the cage without risking serious harm.

I had to cut my profile down to appease the CS gods on here. Somewhere in my bio they assumed I was asking for money.... Not the case... I was only asking for one to bring themselves if the find the courage to relocate.    On that note... It's hard to find people that are not just talk... Too many fakes out here made it hard for real people wanting something real has put everyone on defense mode.To clear that up with me. I am real and if you want someone real, look me up!!!
Been a minute since I did one on this profile .... so here goes. I am currently 60. I am giving My other profile time to process so I can still chat.  But I am one who has lived life to the fullest.  So I bring to the table more than just what is in the profile.  I seek real time interactions more so these days.  I left Japan after 29 yrs about 15 months ago, mainly to recharge self anf start fresh.  I currently own a female not on CS, but We are looking to expand that to a third.    
If you're going to contact me... 1. please be real and not a fantasist 2. have a clear idea of what you require and sort of life plan. I'm not in this for just sex, I need a proper relationship and I'm not going to accept anything less. 3. be there, I need contact and communication. 4. be prepared to commit to this  5. I'm not sending you pics right away. If you prove trustworthy and you make me feel at ease then maybe then. Never before.