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A.P. Murphy's avatar

Yer whippersnappers gotta understand that hard or soft, you need to do your duty to your God and Monarch. Just plough ahead no matter what the stiffage may be, and you will be rewarded with ample progeny - that's how I ended up with you, after all.

Wrong Channel's avatar

haha as you would like to regale my teenage dates, I'm excruciatingly aware I was conceived when my mother, your extra-marital fling, flung herself onto the toilet seat, catapulting a globule of your lifeless making - which I understood was expelled in a state of errant flaccidity - up her, admittedly, rather berthy canal.

A.P. Murphy's avatar

Ahhh good times. Those were the days when I could manage even a semi-stiffie. Nowadays it's pure guesswork to differentiate between my member and a damp pink sock.

Wrong Channel's avatar

Ah then we have a situation father, there’s a slight chance this morning I slipped my foot into the husk of your estranged dingle dangle dongle

A.P. Murphy's avatar

As we say in my Quentin Tarantino study group: Footwork is the Goodwork

Wrong Channel's avatar

Yes I remember the toe-nail necklaces you would fashion from your string of bunioned conquests