I tried, too feel and heal,
I tried, to run and have fun,
I tried, to be someone,

As I tried, again and again,
I’ll return, to square one.

So many things are unnecessary,
Like to breath today,
When tomorrow is already a history,
Written and smitten with misery,

To want but unobtainable,
To hope but unescapable,
To wish but breakable,
To dream but unbearable,

And when to live,
Is but a hassle.

It was a yellow filtered evening,
The warm wind blows,
With the peak hour rush,
Along the busy street,

In each steps,
The heart crumbled,
As the sight blackened,
And the hope shattered,

I was a soul,
Lost in a city of confusion.

It is midnight,
Between another cup of coffee,
And couple hours of sleep,
I am choosing both,

Sipping through the cold brew,
And wanting a good sleep later,
The non-stop yawns,
Together with the cold monsoon weather,

The sleep didn’t come.
Even with my eyes shut,
Far from being energetic,
Most likely lethargic,

It is the same struggle,
Every day and every night.

If dawn never come,
The darkness stay,
The sun never wake up,
The light never shine,

I will continue,
to stay still,
Like a statue,
Till the end.

I am here,
I am trying,
To feel the world,
Around me dying,

I am here,
I am crying,
In each steps,
Of me running,

I am here,
Still fighting,
Against my will,
Keep on screaming,

It feels empty,
Yet, everything is messy.

It’s been awhile,
Since I ride in a fantasy,
Calling up my name,
Throwing me into the sea,

I hope I float,
Have the strength to swim,
To the shore,
But lost in direction,

Couldn’t stop the waves,
Drowning me down,
Only to throw me up,
In a spiral,

I’m gasping for air,
Only to take in more,
Water into my lung,
Till I can no longer move,

I can’t remember anything,
Except the cold embracing darkness.

It’s really where,
I am right now,
Again and again,
After all the battles,

Imagining the blue sky,
Filled with clouds,
As the wind blows,
Brushing the grass,

But in reality,
I’m in this dry land,
Draught in emotion,
And craving attention,

As the will slowly fades,
Like a decaying old tree.

That distant feeling,
A constant absence,
Seeking refuge,
By disconnecting reality.