Ham

3:02pm: new coat :o
Went fosse park today, wasn't looking forward to it cos I never find anythign when I go clothes shopping... Was surprised found a lovely black coat, nice and feminine :) and got a new white hat and white gloves. I think the black/white co ordination is good, matches brunette hair \o/ oh yeah I'm a girl as well as a geek, lol. Well, I got my winter style sorted, woot.
Got another job interview Monday morning if I can get in touch with the woman to confirm I can go.. it's good, the job is in my village :p then I'll nip home, get changed and go meet Dan ^-^
WoW is slowly starting to bore me :o I still enjoy playing, but the raiding thing is starting to get old, only reason I play it atm is to pass the time. I raid to help the guild, got to be a good solid member now and I'm not gonna bail out on them they're good players and I really like this guild, strangely it's helped me through a lot the past couple of months, I'm not gonna just drop out now, not until something goes horribly wrong or I feel it's time to quit.
Umm... think that's all for today.

1:36pm: new stuff
Lots of stuff has happened since I last updated (it's nearly December for gods sake). Well, actually, I've still been unsuccessfully job hunting and playing wow to fill the time, though, Sam and me broke up. Was painful for me at the time but I had good people there for me and it wasn't a bad break up, we're staying friends. And I met somebody else :) his name is Dan, we have quite a lot in common, tis good. Shame he lives in Wales.. but he's coming to Leicester in a week to visit (woot)
Ooh and I <3 my new icon. Somebody made it for me on a community, I forgot who now but if you click on it I creditted them :)
Been sleeping really weird the past few days, think I might go outside, even if just for a few minutes today, get some fresh air.

2:08pm: right
I'm gonna stop updating for a bit, cos, it probably sounds like I'm seeking attention, and I don't think anyone cares too much anyway. If you want me you know where to find me, I don't go far. might as well go join yoh atm :s

11:56am: wow..
Everything feels wrong at the moment. Just don't feel like I'm meant to be here and god that makes no sense. All the days are merging into one I have noticed. At least talking to various people keeps me going ok, even my dad waffling about speedway and stockcars and how he's gonna start getting himself a bit more money is a strange comfort.
Finally got my website domain sorted, can start on the actual website now which is nice. Next obstacle, graphic design. I have the program I need, and basically know how to use photoshop, but I'm crap at graphics design so it's gonna take me a while plus I need to know how to do the website, etc. Doesn't help having a widescreen monitor for these sorts of things!

6:14pm: hm
Feeling lonely and empty, and that's what hurts right now. Don't know how long I can do this for..

12:16pm: :(
Sam went off to uni yesterday. I can't handle it too well I miss him loads already! Love him so much, I hate knowing that he's not here. But we'll last, I know that, as long as we work hard on our relationship we will last.

10:19am: haha
I told someone I had a bad feeling about that interview, cant remember who, but I had a bad feeling about it. Turns out it was for door to door sales! Not gonna happen, no way. I figured, if the person who sorted out the interview cant be arsed to tell me what job I'm being interviewed for, why should I be arsed to show up. :p
I'll get something, I hope, it's really hard!!
I have £9 left... that's not gonna last me much longer :(

9:30am: so cold...
Been freezing my arse off all night, it's only September for gods sake! Had both my windows closed and wrapped up nice and warm in my big thick quilt, yet I still woke up freezing. I don't even have a decent jumper to wear :'( to be honest I don't think my dad can afford it, and I definitely can't. I'm looking for a job, I have an interview on Wednesday, but my lack of experience makes it incredibly difficult! And I'm cold. Off to fosse park to get me some clothes to wear for my interview tomorrow.. I actually have a bad feeling about this :/

5:34pm: ...
Went out last night, went to a wetherspoons and then to fanclub. Was having a good night, until my green bracelet that sam got me from holiday broke and the little stones went everywhere, then I realised the silver charm bracelet he got me for valentines day was missing. Well, that doesn't just fall off. He found the little padlock but the rest of it must have been pulled off my wrist and stolen. I'm upset and annoyed. That bracelet, if it was any other bracelet I wouldn't have cared. But I'm very sentimental, and that was the first valentines present that not only Sam got me, but ANYONE got me. And all that's left of it is a broken padlock. I'm very upset, stuff like that is irreplaceable. Although I'm glad it wasn't my necklace they took, I would have screamed if my necklace was stolen, that's the most special piece of jewellery I own for many reasons and I couldn't bear if that was taken. People are just stupid. Really.

1:23pm: this is horde
http://www.sub.se/wowstrip/

lol its funny cos thats how hordies speak :P

11:24am: too much sleep?
Hey so I figured 12 hours is a lot of sleep, so last night I thought I better get a bit less. But my plan failed and I'm half asleep now and cant be arsed to do anything. Poopsticks. Oh well, not as if there's much I have to do anyway, should ring connexions (why they rang yesterday i dont know) and.. play.com and pipex - oh the horror! Already rang student finance and it was a fecking robot man! I got nothing out of the call except they won't pay til they hear of my attendance. Well, I cancelled my place on the course so hopefully they'll have that sorted, though £720 does sound yummy :P would have been my first grant installment *drool* might apply for a creative writing course at DMU or something, I dunno yet. Not heard from any of the places I applied for jobs yet. Hopefully will soon... May be going out tomorrow night with no money. That's gonna be a joy, oh well, at least Damien will have no money either, we can be sober together lol.

6:04pm: RAWR
I'm in a strange mood as I've had TOO MUCH sleep. Yes, that's right, TOO MUCH. Maybe about 12 hours. Can you believe it?! Anywayz, erm... and Sam was being a total weirdo just before I left so that's rubbed off on me. Then Damien sent me a funny LOTR related picture. So yeah. STRANGE MOOD! I got a HUGE book today, am so gonna hurry up reaidng Harry Potter, cos it's HUGE and looks cool. Also went job hunting yesterday, Hopefully will hear from someone soon and they will start giving me money asap. lol. Was a laugh in town. Ok, my head's going to implode, bye now!

7:37pm: thanks
Thank you Sam. You obviously don't realise that what you do is actually amazingly helpful. It is :)
I love you
xxxx

10:39am: wanna update
Because I haven't in ages. But I dunno what to write. Stuff on my mind isn't really internet posting material. So if you wanna know tough, unless you're Sam then that's fair enough :P

Anywayz, camping was fun. I posted some pictures on myspace. Didn't take enough to be honest but oh well. Zander's last minute friend, Ben, was a laugh. And we were forced to listen to a lot of Enter Shikari with bad consequences, we both now don't mind the band :'( I don't wanna like screamo music, it's weird. They can't sing it's so out of tune. But hey, I got home and listened to a lot of Drowning Pool and stuff. Woot.
Recently having the urge to read a lot of fantasy novels, still on Harry Potter, halfway through now, been reading a little more than before. Decided that this year I wanna get a job, read more, sort out my website and start writing a novel. I've started plotting out my novel just need names for things, and stuff about the world etc. It's very thin at the moment. And on wow I aim to finish AV on my priest, get my frostwolf mount, level to 70 by finishing every quest in every area, do a few instances as I level for armour, then once all that is done, go holy, learn how to be a good healer and join a kara guild. Ooh and not long til my driving test now.

What are you all upto this year and at the moment? Leave me comments :)

12:55pm: mp3 players and camping
Wow my mp3 player is screwed up. The software used to add songs to it etc. won't work so I can't add music or remove music from it now! It's really annoying. So I've decided, when I get a job I'm going to get a 30GB ipod, they're £150 from play.com. Gone down in price a bit :)

Also going camping tomorrow, spending today getting all packed and groomed lol. Plucking eyebrows, shaving legs, straightening hair etc. Stuff that needs doing before I go :P Saturday til Wednesday. Norfolk - should be fun.

Right now I have various words buzzing around my head, no, not hearing voices lol. Just stuff people have said, or I've said, it's quite annoying. Oh well.

2:57pm: alright
Haven't updated since my mini panic. I've spent a long weekend with Sam since then which was nice and have been to Connexions. Got myself a bit of perspective. Today I'm feeling weird, not a clue why, something just feels wrong and I can't put my finger on it...

12:50pm: feeling...
A bit like I'm socially inept (whatever that means). Am I so quiet, so boring, etc. that people don't want to be around me? Or do I jsut whinge too much? I rarely get invited anywhere. Tonight everyone's going out because of results. Nobody asked me to go anywhere. I am possibly seeing Sam.
I got C in English, C in sociology and E in history by the way. Got into my uni. But right now my head is swimming with thoughts, I think I'm gonna be sick or something. I am so confused and I don't know what to do!!!

9:38am: updating...
Saw Sam yesterday for a large portion of the day :D was tasty lol. We caught up hehe. Watched some Scrubs, ate some trifle :P hehe. He got me a VERY pretty bracelet from holiday (which btw I love and it looks very cool with my other bracelet ^^ ooh I have post. Agh driving test! Yay I can change the date now... !! :D and a bank statement saying "your money is falling away, stay indoors." hehe. Erm and this morning Sam woke me up, only half an hour earlier than I wanted though hehe, because he's all excited that he got into Norwich (I say again, I am very happy for you) and that I should check ucas, only to find that I got into Bath Spa :O I'm actually shocked! That means I haven't failed miserably. Dear jebus! what do I do now? Still need a year out I think. Well good luck to anyone getting A level results, hope you got what you wanted and more :) and congratulations baby!

1:36am: finally
Have ran out of stuff to waffle about. I can't talk about how I've not done anything any longer. Had a shower, played wow, read Harry potter, looked in a book club magazine thing, had dinner. That's it. Nothing to waffle about. So my daily update thing is over :p am glad sam's back now. I'm not gonna get much sleep now cos he wants me over in the morning, gonna maybe go to bed now, get to sleep about 2am, wake up about 9 am... spose it could be worse.
Keep dreaming about sleeping with Sam, not in the sex way but just like cuddling up and going to sleep, in strange dreamlike circumstances.
Agh and its results day Thursday :( don't want to have people waffle on about uni and a levels at me for the next few weeks. Do quite quite fed up of being told what to do sometimes...

12:55pm: k i havent updated yet today
What have I done recently to write about.... nothing. Haha. Had a driving lesson today, was ok except I kept forgetting to change gear when I slowed down. But Val said my driving is much more fluent now :) that's good. I've asked if I can have a 2 hour lesson in town, just because I want some experience driving in town else when I've passed, if I have to drive somewhere weird like that, I'll panic! I know what I'm like :P Also booked my test today, though I booked it for the wrong date so when I have my details through I'll need to rebook it hehe. Well, not rebook but change the date. Sam's managed to get on msn a bit the past couple of days so that's been nice speaking to him ^^
Will need to start looking for a job soon, I'm thinking next week, I guess. Agh! Time to be a grown up :P ish. haha.
Can't wait to see Sam again when he gets back xD haven't seen him since last Monday and that was just a couple of hours in town, I really miss him!

10:49am: time to update again
I will be glad when this week is over, really. Missing Sam still, and then there's results day which isn't gonna be too fun, and I'm gonna have to start looking for a job after that >.< have put it off for long enough now. Need money. So yesterday, I actually didn't do anything, a couple of good mara runs on my priest lol, found a nice bunch of people to group up with, hopefully they don't outlevel me too much when I start seeing people again because it's fun doing instances with them - I get to go dps priest hehe. I got a couple of things I needed can now look at going ST. Hmm.. also read some more of Harry Potter, chatted to a couple of people on msn, including Sam which was nice :D I gave him webcam which I think made him happy. Was a pain to set that up because the other one which I had a disc for was really blurry and useless to use. Then the one I'm using now I didn't have a disc for, but I went on a big journey looking for it and finally found it, set it up and it works ok. Was cheap about 4 years ago but at least it works ^^ just need Sam to get one now :P mostly for when he goes off to uni. And today I aim to read a lot of Harry Potter, need to read it faster I'll never finish it at this rate! And this coming from the girl who's read stuff like LotR... A Clockwork Orange... Jane Austen, can't even be bothered to read Harry Potter, lol. This proves finally to me that I couldn't do an English Literature course because I wouldn't do the reading :( wow I foudn something to waffle on about. Oh and also I wanted to sleep in today but... I heard a load of birds after my alarm went off then the neighbours started having an argument which was just shouting, and my windows were wide open, then they were banging around the house... I gave up. Quite tired as a result.

10:43am: heat..!
Hmmm.... so yesterday I listened to some music, talked a bit, just stayed indoors away from the sun and drinking lots of water, was good. Then I went on wow, again, lol. Tried to go mara but group fell apart, then I went for dinner. Think my dad wanted to get me in the sun cos he said he wanted a bbq and could I come to the co op with him. Don't think he gets that I don't like the heat at all, gives me a headache, would prefer to avoid that. Anyway, so we got some meat XD then he did all the bbq stuff, I offered to help but he said he was fine but thanks for asking, so I read Harry Potter for a bit, yeah I'm still only on like chapter...8 haha. Then we sat outside and had a chat about stuff, I told him what I'm thinking of doing this year about just getting a job and stuff, cos I keep changing my mind so he doesn't know what I'm doing lol. Then went inside. Didn't reach my goal of lvl 50 because I wasn't really questing much but did go mara a bit, met some good players and some people who I will not be playing with again as they kept blaming me for their deaths, just cos they can't play properly. That got annoying. Tanking in bloody battle stance and dual wielding... yeah, smooth. Anywayz so today, I'm not sure what I'm gonna do. Think I might read Harry Potter and reach lvl 50 on my priest. I told someone I'd go mara with them today anywayz, really need some stuff from there! Oh yeah and my dad asked if I was feeling ok cos he's feelign quite ill today, I said maybe he just ate a dodgy chicken leg, cos it could have been on the edge and not got cooked properly or something. I didn't eat much chicken, don't really like chicken legs and thighs and things much, I'm a breast girl :P

11:31am: yesterday..
I didn't do a lot yesterday, and probably won't today either :P
I had a driving lesson, think I drove pretty well, about time I booked my test I guess, gonna have to be mid-end of October now. I think I've decided I will definitely take a gap year, at least. Give me more time to decide what to do with myself.
Then I played wow a lot, haha, I made it my goal to get from lvl 47 - lvl 49 and I did it! Even finished up in JA in the hinterlands and got carrot on a stick from ZF. Today my goal is just to get to lvl 50 and maybe finish in the hinterlands, and do at least one maraudon run. woot ^^
Still missing Sam a crazy amount, am dealing with it, it's Friday now, one day closer to Tuesday when I can finally at least speak to him again <3
Not much I can do til then as I don't really have the money. I hate hot weather, and even if I decided to go in the garden I wouldn't enjoy it cos dad has all his garage crap out there, not nice at all >.

12:19pm: kk
I'm updating again. So yesterday I didn't really do anything. PLayed some wow, decided to play around with the levelling guide tony sent me, was really good actually, I zoomed through lvl 46 :P also managed to up my tailoring to 250 so I have better head armour now and made a ring on my warlock. So now my priest has 100 +dmg. Go me. Anywayz, had indian food for dinner with dad, was yummy ^^ and he also asked "so, r u missing sam yet?" and i was a bit shocked he asked to be honest, so i replied "maybe..." cos of course I'm missing him like a crazy person, and then he laughed at me, why laugh? weirdo. Also had a pleasant surprise when Sam popped onto msn, and he had a webcam there too :D that was nice being able to talk to him, though Sam you are crap at msn conversations you don't talk :P lol. But it's better than nothing. :)

Did have a weird dream... kinda forgetting it now but I remember one bit where I was with Sam and some girl and they were talking and I knew that Sam had like hit himself in the stomache for some reason so I gave him a huge hug, as a "awww poor baby" thing and the girl was like "wtf r u doing dont u know how much pain hes in?". Then something else happened, like, some woman came and tried to say how crap QE was so we all had to drive along and sing.... but I couldnt think of any songs. Then we had to sleep in beds next to loads of people, and the guy next to me and Sam was playing on a playstation and it was really loud... weird dream, really was. Just random.

11:12am: Every hour of every day, I miss you like crazy
I didn't really end up playign wow last night, couldn't be bothered in the end lol. Chatted on msn for a bit then had some noodles and read another chapter of harry potter and got a load of sleep. Though for some reason, I'm still tired! Ah well. Can't get Sam off my mind. I need to speak to him, that's all I ask :P not sure what to do today, don't really like putting suncream on and enduring the heat so not sure if I want to sit in the garden... might wear a skirt. :)
ooh and I got a couple of new myspace pictures:
should be able to look at them if you go to www.myspace.com/ham712