Wesley Jansen

Recently Hired (And Extremely Productive) Technical Writer Originally Considered ‘Lame And Boring’ By Coworkers And Staff Now Feared To Be Something ‘Other’
https://www.thespoof.com/spoof-news/us/146411/recently-hired-and-extremely-productive-technical-writer-originally-considered-lame-and-boring-by-coworkers-and-staff-now-feared-to-be-something-other

Extremely Heavy And Obnoxious Amounts Of ‘Soul-Draining’ Bullshit Likely To Spread Throughout Midwest Over Next Couple Of Weeks
https://www.thespoof.com/spoof-news/us/146363/extremely-heavy-and-obnoxious-amounts-of-soul-draining-bullshit-likely-to-spread-throughout-midwest-over-next-couple-of-weeks

Young Woman ‘Highly Aggravated’ And ‘Upset’ That Having Two Part-Time Jobs While Going To School Will Prevent Her From Cheating On Her “Dullard” Boyfriend
https://www.thespoof.com/spoof-news/us/146349/young-woman-highly-aggravated-and-upset-that-having-two-part-time-jobs-while-going-to-school-will-prevent-her-from-cheating-on-her-dullard-boyfriend

Sexually-Active, Easily-Offended, Politically-Correct, Upper-Middle-Class, Privileged, Liberal College Students Born After 1980s Excited About Movies That Are Crippled By ‘Self-Identity’ Politics, Special Effects, The #MeToo Movement, And WOKE
https://www.thespoof.com/spoof-news/world/146289/sexually-active-easily-offended-politically-correct-upper-middle-class-privileged-liberal-college-students-born-after-1980s-excited-about-movies-that-are-crippled-by-self-identity-politics-special-effects-the-metoo-movement-and-wok

How To Cope With The Tragedy Of Losing A Friend On Facebook
https://www.thespoof.com/spoof-news/features/146281/how-to-cope-with-the-tragedy-of-losing-a-friend-on-facebook

Extremely Intelligent High School Principal Calmly Assures Locals That American Education System Is Not Centrally Focused On Sports
https://www.thespoof.com/spoof-news/world/146237/extremely-intelligent-high-school-principal-calmly-assures-locals-that-american-education-system-is-not-centrally-focused-on-sports

The Ultimate Female Dating Profile
https://www.thespoof.com/spoof-news/features/146226/the-ultimate-female-dating-profile

The Ultimate Male Dating Profile
https://www.thespoof.com/spoof-news/features/146216/the-ultimate-male-dating-profile

Local Man Patiently Waiting For Precious Moment When He Can Finally Just Give Up On Himself And Accept The Fact That He Is A Mediocre Piece Of Shit
https://www.thespoof.com/spoof-news/us/146175/local-man-patiently-waiting-for-precious-moment-when-he-can-finally-just-give-up-on-himself-and-accept-the-fact-that-he-is-a-mediocre-piece-of-shit

Heroic But Somewhat Disturbed And Violent Technical Writer Saves Newly-Married Couple From Demonic Force
https://www.thespoof.com/spoof-news/us/146168/heroic-but-somewhat-disturbed-and-violent-technical-writer-saves-newly-married-couple-from-demonic-force

The Chain Letter You Always Wanted To See But Never Actually Did
https://www.thespoof.com/spoof-news/features/146152/the-chain-letter-you-always-wanted-to-see-but-never-actually-did

10 Things You’ll Never Hear On A College Campus
https://www.thespoof.com/spoof-news/features/146119/10-things-youll-never-hear-on-a-college-campus

6 Life Lessons Your Professors Will Never Teach You In College
https://www.thespoof.com/spoof-news/features/146117/6-life-lessons-your-professors-will-never-teach-you-in-college

The Man’s Guide To Surviving A Stent Removal
https://www.thespoof.com/spoof-news/features/146108/the-mans-guide-to-surviving-a-stent-removal

39-Year-Old Resident Fails To Improve Himself Over Weekend
https://www.thespoof.com/spoof-news/us/146041/39-year-old-resident-fails-to-improve-himself-over-weekend

Highly Experienced Technical Documentation Writer Saves Desperate Woman From Demonic Shadow Figure Lurking In Basement By Boring It (And Her) To Death
https://www.thespoof.com/spoof-news/us/145984/highly-experienced-technical-documentation-writer-saves-desperate-woman-from-demonic-shadow-figure-lurking-in-basement-by-boring-it-and-her-to-death

Sexually Frustrated, Narcissistic, Obsessive-Compulsive Millennial Needed Extra Day Off Work Due To Rejection From Women In The Gym
https://www.thespoof.com/spoof-news/us/145944/sexually-frustrated-narcissistic-obsessive-compulsive-millennial-needed-extra-day-off-work-due-to-rejection-from-women-in-the-gym

Lonely Man Suffering With Crippling Depression And Sadness Suddenly Realizes That There Is Hope
https://www.thespoof.com/spoof-news/us/145943/lonely-man-suffering-with-crippling-depression-and-sadness-suddenly-realizes-that-there-is-hope

Retired Technical Documentation Writer Leaves Audience In Tears After Stirring And Emotional Speech
https://www.thespoof.com/spoof-news/us/145823/retired-technical-documentation-writer-leaves-audience-in-tears-after-stirring-and-emotional-speech

Seven-And-A-Half-Pound, Nineteen-Inch Long Mistake Displayed On Widescreen Monitor In Employee Breakroom
https://www.thespoof.com/spoof-news/us/145750/seven-and-a-half-pound-nineteen-inch-long-mistake-displayed-on-widescreen-monitor-in-employee-break-room

Technical Writer Devastates Loyal Fans And Readers By Handing In Two Week Notice
https://www.thespoof.com/spoof-news/us/145652/technical-writer-devastates-loyal-fans-and-readers-by-handing-in-two-week-notice

Clinical Psychologist Tries To Provide Necessary Advice To Depressed Young College Student
https://www.thespoof.com/spoof-news/us/145586/clinical-psychologist-tries-to-provide-necessary-advice-to-depressed-young-college-student

Disturbed Calculus Professor Looking Forward To The Mental Pain, Agony, And Weeping That Will Occur Next December
https://www.thespoof.com/spoof-news/us/145519/disturbed-calculus-professor-looking-forward-to-the-mental-pain-agony-and-weeping-that-will-occur-next-december

Incompetent Angel Humbly Accepts Demotion After Innocent Soul Originally Intended For Reincarnation Was Sent Back To The Past
https://www.thespoof.com/spoof-news/world/145508/incompetent-angel-humbly-accepts-demotion-after-innocent-soul-originally-intended-for-reincarnation-was-sent-back-to-the-past

Isolated, Poverty-Stricken, Divorced Janitor Living In Creepy Abandoned Trailer Outside City Limits Says He’s “Grateful” For Surviving Accident
https://www.thespoof.com/spoof-news/us/145497/isolated-poverty-stricken-divorced-janitor-living-in-creepy-abandoned-trailer-outside-city-limits-says-hes-grateful-for-surviving-accident

Emotionally Unbalanced Resident Successful At Finding Beer While Pushing Away Potential Lovers
https://www.thespoof.com/spoof-news/us/145428/emotionally-unbalanced-resident-successful-at-finding-beer-while-pushing-away-potential-lovers

Unemployed Iowa Man Recognized And Almost Awarded Trophy For Epitomizing Potential Of Self-Entitlement Generation
https://www.thespoof.com/spoof-news/world/145350/unemployed-iowa-man-recognized-and-almost-awarded-trophy-for-epitomizing-potential-of-self-entitlement-generation

Angry, Controlling, Sports-Obsessed, Bullheaded Psychotic Piece Of Shit Finally Earns Master’s Degree In Educational Administration
https://www.thespoof.com/spoof-news/us/145294/angry-controlling-sports-obsessed-bullheaded-psychotic-piece-of-shit-finally-earns-masters-degree-in-educational-administration

Conservative-Minded, Horrifying, Demonic Beast Successfully Slain Outside Of Liberal Arts Classroom After Saying Terrible Things And Lighting Up A Cigarette
https://www.thespoof.com/spoof-news/us/145205/conservative-minded-horrifying-demonic-beast-successfully-slain-outside-of-liberal-arts-classroom-after-saying-terrible-things-and-lighting-up-a-cigarette

‘At-Risk’ Loser Determined To Become Overachieving Piece Of Shit Next Semester
https://www.thespoof.com/spoof-news/us/145184/at-risk-loser-determined-to-become-overachieving-piece-of-shit-next-semester

Alcohol-Free Weekend Made Up For With Horrifying Behavior At Strip Club
https://www.thespoof.com/spoof-news/us/145141/alcohol-free-weekend-made-up-for-with-horrifying-behavior-at-strip-club

Extending Weiner Family Serves Proof That University Was Successful At Promoting Safe Choices And Responsibility By Handing Out Free Contraceptives
https://www.thespoof.com/spoof-news/us/144946/extending-weiner-family-serves-proof-that-university-was-successful-at-promoting-safe-choices-and-responsibility-by-handing-out-free-contraceptives

Campus Security Officers Run Away From Massive Brawl Between Two Education Professors
https://www.thespoof.com/spoof-news/us/144842/campus-security-officers-run-away-from-massive-brawl-between-two-education-professors

God Ignores Prayer From Lonely Drunken Resident For Special Woman To Show Up In His Life
https://www.thespoof.com/spoof-news/world/144830/god-ignores-prayer-from-lonely-drunken-resident-for-special-woman-to-show-up-in-his-life

Dean Warns Education Professors About Smoking And “Shit-Talking” In Front Of ‘At-Risk’ Students
https://www.thespoof.com/spoof-news/us/144787/dean-warns-education-professors-about-smoking-and-shit-talking-in-front-of-at-risk-students

Stress Massage Therapist Warns Resident That Session Will Only Produce Temporary Relaxation From Heaviness, Pressure, And Sadness Of Reality
https://www.thespoof.com/spoof-news/us/144779/stress-massage-therapist-warns-resident-that-session-will-only-produce-temporary-relaxation-from-heaviness-pressure-and-sadness-of-reality

High School Students Baffled and Amazed By Endless Possibilities at Job Fair
https://www.thespoof.com/spoof-news/us/144725/high-school-students-baffled-and-amazed-by-endless-possibilities-at-job-fair

Smoking and “Shit-Talking” by Human Resources Department in Break Area Intimidates Newly-Hired Maintenance Mechanic From Detroit, Michigan
https://www.thespoof.com/spoof-news/world/144718/smoking-and-shit-talking-by-human-resources-department-in-break-area-intimidates-newly-hired-maintenance-mechanic-from-detroit-michigan

Frustrated Summer School Student Wishes Doppelganger Would ‘Leave Him Alone’ So That He Can Routinely Masturbate While Trying To Finish His Courses
https://www.thespoof.com/spoof-news/us/144650/frustrated-summer-school-student-wishes-doppelganger-would-leave-him-alone-so-that-he-can-routinely-masturbate-while-trying-to-finish-his-courses

God receives two conflicting prayers, gets a massive headache, and decides to favor woman’s selfish and carnal desires
https://www.thespoof.com/spoof-news/us/144643/god-receives-two-conflicting-prayers-gets-a-massive-headache-and-decides-to-favor-womans-selfish-and-carnal-desires

Broccoli and Cauliflower Withdrawal Results In Horribly Tragic and Untimely Death
https://www.thespoof.com/spoof-news/us/144503/broccoli-and-cauliflower-withdrawal-results-in-horribly-tragic-and-untimely-death

Demon Possessed Teddy Bear Decides To Attack Education And Religion Instead Of Lonely Writer
https://www.thespoof.com/spoof-news/us/144496/demon-possessed-teddy-bear-decides-to-attack-education-and-religion-instead-of-lonely-writer

Several Grammar Errors Result In Total Carnage At Conservative Lutheran Church And Grade School
https://www.thespoof.com/spoof-news/us/144453/several-grammar-errors-result-in-total-carnage-at-conservative-lutheran-church-and-grade-school

Wife Demands That Burned-Out Husband Please Himself With Beer And Prostitutes In Thailand In Order To Relieve The Frustration Of His Mid-Life Crisis
https://www.thespoof.com/spoof-news/us/144433/wife-demands-that-burned-out-husband-please-himself-with-beer-and-prostitutes-in-thailand-in-order-to-relieve-the-frustration-of-his-mid-life-crisis

Historical Archivist Apologizes For Losing Control Of Himself After Excessive Caffeine And Alcohol Use
https://www.thespoof.com/spoof-news/world/144419/historical-archivist-apologizes-for-losing-control-of-himself-after-excessive-caffeine-and-alcohol-use

Burned-Out Male Factory Worker Purposely Gets On Treadmill So That Voluptuous Upper Class Women Using Elliptical Machines Behind Him Can Look At The Bald Spot On His Head
https://www.thespoof.com/spoof-news/us/144361/burned-out-male-factory-worker-purposely-gets-on-treadmill-so-that-voluptuous-upper-class-women-using-elliptical-machines-behind-him-can-look-at-the-bald-spot-on-his-head

Child Demands That His Insecure Parents Apologize To Overwhelmed, Burned-Out Teachers
https://www.thespoof.com/spoof-news/us/144294/child-demands-that-his-insecure-parents-apologize-to-overwhelmed-burned-out-teachers

7th Grade Essay Contest Winner Informed He Will Eventually Need To Find ‘A Real Job’ Despite His Natural Ability
https://www.thespoof.com/spoof-news/us/144291/7th-grade-essay-contest-winner-informed-he-will-eventually-need-to-find-a-real-job-despite-his-natural-ability

Reincarnated Writer Discovers He Was Just As Lonely, Miserable, Confused, Unsuccessful, And Alcoholic In Previous Life As He Is In This One
https://www.thespoof.com/spoof-news/us/144279/reincarnated-writer-discovers-he-was-just-as-lonely-miserable-confused-unsuccessful-and-alcoholic-in-previous-life-as-he-is-in-this-one

Community Service Projects Still Provide Excellent Way To Relieve Horrendous Amounts Of Guilt
https://www.thespoof.com/spoof-news/us/144271/community-service-projects-still-provide-excellent-way-to-relieve-horrendous-amounts-of-guilt

Being a Condescending, Self-Righteous, Greedy, Narcissistic Asshole Actually Leads to Happiness, According To Report
https://www.thespoof.com/spoof-news/us/144214/being-a-condescending-self-righteous-greedy-narcissistic-asshole-actually-leads-to-happiness-according-to-report

Administrative Assistant Feels He Was Sexually Harassed On First Date
https://www.thespoof.com/spoof-news/us/144208/administrative-assistant-feels-he-was-sexually-harassed-on-first-date

Lonely College Student Sincerely Hopes He Can Find Controlling Woman To Completely Destroy His Life Upon Graduation
https://www.thespoof.com/spoof-news/us/144139/lonely-college-student-sincerely-hopes-he-can-find-controlling-woman-to-completely-destroy-his-life-upon-graduation

Woman Runs Screaming Out Of Building
https://www.thespoof.com/spoof-news/us/144131/woman-runs-screaming-out-of-building

Students Transferring To Other Colleges Because Professor Keeps Passionately Talking About “Vlad The Impaler” Instead Of Teaching World History
https://www.thespoof.com/spoof-news/us/144071/students-transferring-to-other-colleges-because-professor-keeps-passionately-talking-about-vlad-the-impaler-instead-of-teaching-world-history

Local Resident Constantly Finding It Difficult To Masturbate In Newly Purchased Haunted House
https://www.thespoof.com/spoof-news/us/144066/local-resident-constantly-finding-it-difficult-to-masturbate-in-newly-purchased-haunted-house

First Year College Student Wards Off Sexual Advances From Academic Advisor While Maintaining Ferocious And Uncontrollable Desire To Become A Historical Archivist
https://www.thespoof.com/spoof-news/us/144045/first-year-college-student-wards-off-sexual-advances-from-academic-advisor-while-maintaining-ferocious-and-uncontrollable-desire-to-become-a-historical-archivist

Corporate Visitors Pleased By “Wet Garbage And Poop” Smell Coming From Northeast Section Of Factory
https://www.thespoof.com/spoof-news/us/144035/corporate-visitors-pleased-by-wet-garbage-and-poop-smell-coming-from-northeast-section-of-factory

Corporate Adviser Doing Well In Life Despite Lower Middle Class Upbringing
https://www.thespoof.com/spoof-news/us/143994/corporate-adviser-doing-well-in-life-despite-lower-middle-class-upbringing

Wisconsin Resident Angry That Hoia-Baciu Forest In Romania Was Ranked “Second” On Random Website Last Weekend
https://www.thespoof.com/spoof-news/us/143985/wisconsin-resident-angry-that-hoia-baciu-forest-in-romania-was-ranked-second-on-random-website-last-weekend

American Universities Becoming More Successful At Discovering Signs Of “At-Risk” Students
https://www.thespoof.com/spoof-news/world/143973/american-universities-becoming-more-successful-at-discovering-signs-of-at-risk-students

Middle Class Parents Glad Their Son Is Dropping Out Of College To Become A Correctional Officer In Order To Support Pregnant Girlfriend
https://www.thespoof.com/spoof-news/us/143955/middle-class-parents-glad-their-son-is-dropping-out-of-college-to-become-a-correctional-officer-in-order-to-support-pregnant-girlfriend

5th Grader Demands Mother Tell Him Why He Was An Accident
https://www.thespoof.com/spoof-news/us/143925/5th-grader-demands-mother-tell-him-why-he-was-an-accident

Screaming, Crying, Throwing An Intensely Psychotic Fit And Drinking Heavily Seen As Possible Methods For Getting Through Writer’s Block
https://www.thespoof.com/spoof-news/us/143918/screaming-crying-throwing-an-intensely-psychotic-fit-and-drinking-heavily-seen-as-possible-methods-for-getting-through-writers-block

Tenured University Professors To Receive “New” Training On How To Wipe Students’ Asses And Give Them Sexual Advice If Necessary
https://www.thespoof.com/spoof-news/world/143852/tenured-university-professors-to-receive-new-training-on-how-to-wipe-students-asses-and-give-them-sexual-advice-if-necessary

Middle-Aged Male Factory Workers Casually Talk About Weather And Politics While Desperately Trying Not To Stare At Female Intern’s Perfectly Formed Ass
https://www.thespoof.com/spoof-news/us/143841/middle-aged-male-factory-workers-casually-talk-about-weather-and-politics-while-desperately-trying-not-to-stare-at-female-interns-perfectly-formed-ass

Extreme Introvert Recovering In Hospital After Intense Day Of Interacting With Too Many People
https://www.thespoof.com/spoof-news/us/143839/extreme-introvert-recovering-in-hospital-after-intense-day-of-interacting-with-too-many-people

Hobbies And Second Job May Help Resident Ignore Reality That He Is A Hopeless Sack Of Shit
https://www.thespoof.com/spoof-news/us/143821/hobbies-and-second-job-may-help-resident-ignore-reality-that-he-is-a-hopeless-sack-of-shit

College Student Has Difficulty Preparing For Sociology Exam While Roommate Pleases His Ex-Girlfriend Directly Behind Him
https://www.thespoof.com/spoof-news/us/143772/college-student-has-difficulty-preparing-for-sociology-exam-while-roommate-pleases-his-ex-girlfriend-directly-behind-him

Police Still Searching For 35-Year-Old Powerlifter
https://www.thespoof.com/spoof-news/us/143769/police-still-searching-for-35-year-old-powerlifter

Disagreement Over Possible Curriculum Change Results In Brutal Violence
https://www.thespoof.com/spoof-news/us/143757/disagreement-over-possible-curriculum-change-results-in-brutal-violence

10 Hours of Darth Vader Breathing Heavily on YouTube Still Available
https://www.thespoof.com/spoof-news/world/143712/10-hours-of-darth-vader-breathing-heavily-on-youtube-still-available

Forklift Driver Glad He Can Finally Go Home On Friday And “Not Stop” After 5 Beers
https://www.thespoof.com/spoof-news/us/143710/forklift-driver-glad-he-can-finally-go-home-on-friday-and-not-stop-after-5-beers

College Student Forgets Aikido Training While Being Chased By Doppelganger
https://www.thespoof.com/spoof-news/us/143701/college-student-forgets-aikido-training-while-being-chased-by-doppelganger

New Muscle Building Supplement Tested And Found To Be Huge Success
https://www.thespoof.com/spoof-news/world/143698/new-muscle-building-supplement-tested-and-found-to-be-huge-success

Inmate Throws “Poop Hammer” At Cell Extraction Team
https://www.thespoof.com/spoof-news/us/143679/inmate-throws-poop-hammer-at-cell-extraction-team

Increased School ‘Drop-Out’ Rate Pleases Both Teachers And Administrators Alike
https://www.thespoof.com/spoof-news/us/143653/increased-school-drop-out-rate-pleases-both-teachers-and-administrators-alike

Isolated Cabins In Forests Outside Of Civilization Along Eastern Coast Still Best Places To Retire For The Elderly
https://www.thespoof.com/spoof-news/us/143649/isolated-cabins-in-forests-outside-of-civilization-along-eastern-coast-still-best-places-to-retire-for-the-elderly

Stress Massage Therapist Tells Iowa Resident To Consume Massive Amounts Of Beer And Tobacco After 90-Minute Healing Session
https://www.thespoof.com/spoof-news/us/143640/stress-massage-therapist-tells-iowa-resident-to-consume-massive-amounts-of-beer-and-tobacco-after-90-minute-healing-session

Man Takes “Day Off” Due To Job Exhaustion And Midlife Crisis
https://www.thespoof.com/spoof-news/us/143627/man-takes-day-off-due-to-job-exhaustion-and-midlife-crisis

Weightlifter Drops Dumbbell On His Face Due To Severe Depression While Song, “Dust In The Wind,” Plays In The Background
https://www.thespoof.com/spoof-news/us/143598/weightlifter-drops-dumbbell-on-his-face-due-to-severe-depression-while-song-dust-in-the-wind-plays-in-the-background

“I’m Looking For Somebody Who Is Sexually Experienced” Still Best Way Of Not Saying “I’m A Self-Absorbed, Insecure, Materialistic, Valueless Queen Who Needs My Crotch Pleased” on Dating Profiles
https://www.thespoof.com/spoof-news/us/143577/im-looking-for-somebody-who-is-sexually-experienced-still-best-way-of-not-saying-im-a-self-absorbed-insecure-materialistic-valueless-queen-who-needs-my-crotch-pleased-on-dating-profiles

Alcoholic, Chain-Smoking, Famous Author Dies at 56
https://www.thespoof.com/spoof-news/world/143575/alcoholic-chain-smoking-famous-author-dies-at-56

New and Improved Version of Huggable “Vlad The Impaler” Doll to be Released in April
https://www.thespoof.com/spoof-news/world/143520/new-and-improved-version-of-huggable-vlad-the-impaler-doll-to-be-released-in-april

Lottery Winner Gives Up Mansion In Florida And Moves To The Midwest To Fulfill Life-Long Dream Of Working In A Library
https://www.thespoof.com/spoof-news/us/143515/lottery-winner-gives-up-mansion-in-florida-and-moves-to-the-midwest-to-fulfill-life-long-dream-of-working-in-a-library

Keeping Your Heart Cold and Frozen Inside Still Best Choice According To Report
https://www.thespoof.com/spoof-news/us/143513/keeping-your-heart-cold-and-frozen-inside-still-best-choice-according-to-report

Janesville Resident Hopes To Keep Diarrhea After Making Some Necessary Lifestyle Changes
https://www.thespoof.com/spoof-news/us/143495/janesville-resident-hopes-to-keep-diarrhea-after-making-some-necessary-lifestyle-changes

Alumni Association Celebrates 50 Years Of Shameless Donation Seeking While Hosting Reunion Festivities
https://www.thespoof.com/spoof-news/us/143488/alumni-association-celebrates-50-years-of-shameless-donation-seeking-while-hosting-reunion-festivities

Man Terrified By Soft And Dreary 1980s Music And 20 Dollar Salads After Trying To Go  “Organic”
https://www.thespoof.com/spoof-news/us/143433/man-terrified-by-soft-and-dreary-1980s-music-and-20-dollar-salads-after-trying-to-go-organic

Old ‘Self-Efficacy’ Research Paper With Proper APA Documentation Style Helps Man Remember Just How Depressing, Overwhelming, and Lonely His College Years Were
https://www.thespoof.com/spoof-news/us/143430/old-self-efficacy-research-paper-with-proper-apa-documentation-style-helps-man-remember-just-how-depressing-overwhelming-and-lonely-his-college-years-were

Donald Trump Still Focused On As Comedians and Writers Continue To Lose Artistic Value
https://www.thespoof.com/spoof-news/world/143425/donald-trump-still-focused-on-as-comedians-and-writers-continue-to-lose-artistic-value

Highly Intoxicated Resident Ponders ‘The Totality of All Existence’ While Simultaneously Listening To Eckhart Tolle Interviews And Watching The Ghost Channel
https://www.thespoof.com/spoof-news/us/143422/highly-intoxicated-resident-ponders-the-totality-of-all-existence-while-simultaneously-listening-to-eckhart-tolle-interviews-and-watching-the-ghost-channel

People Still Go To Church On Sunday While Cheating On Each Other And Looking For More Money, According To Report
https://www.thespoof.com/spoof-news/us/143351/people-still-go-to-church-on-sunday-while-cheating-on-each-other-and-looking-for-more-money-according-to-report

Cheaply Purchased Trac Phone Runs Out Of Minutes As Man Desperately Tries To Provide Advice To Others
https://www.thespoof.com/spoof-news/science-technology/143347/cheaply-purchased-trac-phone-runs-out-of-minutes-as-man-desperately-tries-to-provide-advice-to-others

Internationally Famous Ghost Hunter’s Penis Too Small To Enter Hoia Baciu Forest In Romania At Night Without Cameras
https://www.thespoof.com/spoof-news/world/143337/internationally-famous-ghost-hunters-penis-too-small-to-enter-hoia-baciu-forest-in-romania-at-night-without-cameras

Concerned Wisconsin Resident Determined To End ‘Abusive’ Company Strategy Of Selling Shitty, Expired Beer To People Who Live In The Midwest
https://www.thespoof.com/spoof-news/business/143334/concerned-wisconsin-resident-determined-to-end-abusive-company-strategy-of-selling-shitty-expired-beer-to-people-who-live-in-the-midwest

Local Employee Decapitated For Having Too Many Unexcused Absences
https://www.thespoof.com/spoof-news/us/143324/local-employee-decapitated-for-having-too-many-unexcused-absences

Insecure, Manipulative, Vicious, Bossy, Emotionally-Unstable Correctional Officer Reaches ’10 Year Work Anniversary’
https://www.thespoof.com/spoof-news/us/143319/insecure-manipulative-vicious-bossy-emotionally-unstable-correctional-officer-reaches-10-year-work-anniversary

International Best-Selling Author Writes Another Book About Stress Management That Nobody Has Any Time To Read
https://www.thespoof.com/spoof-news/world/143280/international-best-selling-author-writes-another-book-about-stress-management-that-nobody-has-any-time-to-read

“Somebody Just Fucking Died and You Will Never See Them Again” Not a Phrase Likely to Replace “Celebration of Life” at Funeral Services
https://www.thespoof.com/spoof-news/world/143271/somebody-just-fucking-died-and-you-will-never-see-them-again-not-a-phrase-likely-to-replace-celebration-of-life-at-funeral-services