My memory is failing me, as per usual, and I need the help of some of the older peoples out there. While at the opera about a month ago, a man was sitting in front of me holding a stuffed animal. It resembled an white aardvark, of sorts, with red polkadots and a black Zorro mask and cape. It seems so familiar to me (I'm thinking it was from a TV show or something similar) but for the life of me, I can't place it. Any help? I just need to know. I'm like that.  Moody:  restless Muzak: Yellow - Oh Yeah (Ferris Bueller's Day Off) |
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Beautiful Thing - A Movie Rec
While browsing through late night/early morning television (which I do oh so well) I stopped on Showcase to watch a movie (Beautiful Thing), in which the plot is simple. "Gay love develops between two teen neighbours" The two boys were so sweet (and good looking) and the ending just killed me. It was the loveliest thing I think I've ever seen! *wipes off a tear and dances away singing "Dream a Little Dream"* Everyone should watch this (and that's an order!). Muzak: Ewan MacGregor - Your Song (Moulin Rouge Soundtrack) Moody:  cheerful |
In my never-ending search for icon-worthy pictures, I came across this, and am hoping (*has fingers crossed*) that it's actually Dan and that's actually his bare chest.  Thank god for quidditch-toned muscles *snort* |
A little PWP rec here: Title: Harry on Top of Things Author: Kimmie Rating: NC-17 Link: http://glassesreflect.net/hd17/harryontop.htmlOkay, I came across this a while ago, and decided to reread it recently. Super SUPER smut in this, caused by a duel gone awry. A must read, though keep something nearby to, uh, cool you down.
*runs away*Muzak: Canadian Brass - Pictures at an Exhibition Moody: satisfied |
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At the moment, I'm reading a really interesting piece of Harry/Draco slash, and enjoying a rather delicious orange popsicle. And as I'm reading the really interesting piece of Harry/Draco slash (which happens to be at the big smut scene), I come across the phrase "they both erupted inside their pants." and choked on said popsicle. For some strange reason, I found this really funny. *shrugs* Muzak: Canadian Brass - Dixie Bach Moody: amused |
| » scribbulus_ink's "Candy is Dandy" Drabble Challenge |
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I was given Fred and George and Canary Creams, with an end count of 238 words.
And thus, I give you:
( Dribble-DrabbleCollapse )
Jul. 22nd, 2004 @ 07:11 pm
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| » I've got Harry Potter zooming across my bum! |
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Just for the hell of it, I picked up some rather expensive nice Harry playing quidditch fabric at Fabricville the other day. And it glitters!! *oohs and aahs* So I made pyjama pants. And now, I can proudly say that I'm sleeping with Harry Potter, and multiple other dirty things. *grins*
Jul. 18th, 2004 @ 12:55 pm
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| » "OMG, Em!! It's Draco!!" "WHERE?!?!" |
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So, while in France, my sister and I are watching TV in the hotel one evening (MTV2, because my french sucks and there was nothing good on elsewhere), and an S Club 7 video comes on. Now, I don't like S Club 7, mainly because I find them chinzy and such, so I returned to my writing. About a minute later, Laurel screams "Oh my GOD!!! EM!!! Look!!" or something to that effect, because I had half a pitcher of sangria earlier, and my memory's not the greatest at the best of times. Anyways, I look up and there's Draco Malfoy. Or at least, what I think he should look like. Actually, it was Jon, according to my sister, but let me just say that I enjoyed that video immensly from that point on.
( Jon/DracoCollapse )
*is a big puddle of drool*
Jul. 17th, 2004 @ 07:09 pm
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| » Look out, France! |
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This is pretty much the last time I'll be online for about the next two weeks. Boo! BUT! I shall take lots of pictures and try to post them for you all, and I plan on having lots of nice little slashy ficlets written by the time I get back! Yay! I shall see you all on the 15th! And she's off!
Jun. 29th, 2004 @ 07:33 pm
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| » Lessons in Bad Lord of the Rings Fanfiction *falls over laughing* |
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My sister passed this on to me, and it's just...so bad! It baffles me as to how anyone could write something so horrible! Anyhoo, the actual story is bolded, the commentary (not by me) is in plaintext.
Laura-Sue gets what's coming to her
Legolas was riding along the woods and one day he found a baby whaped in colth
I have the feeling this must be painful. I am not entirely sure what colth is, but being whaped by it – somewhere between being whapped and being raped, I would presume – is probably painful. Poor baby.
so he got off his horse and went to the baby and then Legolas said"who left you here little one”and then the baby just cryed
…Which is generally what babies to. Especially if they are below talking age and have just been abandoned in the woods.
and then Legolas pick her up and hold her and then the baby stoped crying and then Legolas said"your name is going be Laura"
Which is a beautiful Elvish name, of course
and then Legolas and the baby went onto the horse and went back to the castle where he lived. Legolas said"father mother I found this little baby in the woods and then Legolas mother got up and walked down and said "how can people put baby in the woods and to die".
Legolas mother, let me explain it to you. People have baby. People cannot afford to keep baby. People not very nice, so people put baby in the woods and to die. Kapish?
Then Legolas father said"we are going to keep her"and then Legolas was happy for someriseing.
So … Legolas was happy for summarizing, or Legolas was happy for some reason? And if he was happy for some reason, shouldn’t the author KNOW why he’s happy?
10 Years Later
So Laura’s ten years old. If she’s human, she is currently an annoying brat; if she is an Elf, she should still be whaped in colth, crying.
Legolas got up and went into Laura's room and said"good moring"and then Laura said "good moring too". Then Legolas said"whats a matter"
From which I gather that Legolas is psychic. Most people, after saying that the morning is good, do not have something greatly the matter with them.
and then Laura said"Legolas I want to know how to ride a horse". Then Legolas said"Ok" and then Legolas said"first you get dresses
from the Gap of Rohan, of course
and have something to eat and then we will go for a horse ride lesson". Mean while Strider and Gandalf was rideing towards where Legolas lived and then Strider said"Gandalf I did not know Legolas had a sister"and then Gandalf said"I did not know aswell".
If you did not know, and you are currently still riding in the direction of where Legolas lives, how would you suddenly know? The number of psychics increases!
Mean While at Mondor
Mordor on a Monday!
the dark lord was planing to kidnap the princess but not Legolas. Then the boss of the Orcs came and said"I'll get her for you sir"and then the Dark lord said"yes you can".
“Good boy, Orc! You’ve done all your homework, so I’m allowing you to go get the princess now!”
Mean while
Legolas and Laura was horseriding and then Laura said"Legolas whos that"and then Legolas looked and it was Gandalf and Strider.Legolas said"that is Gandalf and Strdier"
Thank you for being redundant. Your more dense readers may appreciate it.
and then Strider said"Legolas"and then Legolas said "Strider long time seen"
??? “A long time SINCE I’ve seen YOU”? Mayhap thou be’st trying to speakith in the fair tongues of Middle-Earth, but thou ist not succeedingith.
and then Strider said"hows you"and then Legolas said"I am fine"and then Gandalf said"whos this then" and then Legolas said"meet Laura I found her in the woods when she was just a baby".Laura was shy at first and then Legolas said"Laura come and meet Strider and Gandalf"and then Laura said"hello I am Laura".
Welcome to redundancy. Population: 4
Legolas said"she is the princess"and then Strider said"she is so cute"
Strider’s hitting on a ten-year-old!
and then Legolas said"that will be my falut"and then Gandalf said"why"and then Laura said"he protects me thats why"
So … Legolas, in the interest of being a protective older brother, has made Laura as cute as possible, in the hopes that if she is too dazzling, people like Strider won’t hit on her?
and then Legolas looked up and said"I think we should go back to the castle"and then Laura said"I can feel it too".
Legolas said"do you want to stay for a night"and then Gandalf and Strider said"yes please" and then they had tea and went to bed.During the night Legolas ask the gards to keep an eye on Laura's room.
…just in case Strider attempted to sneak in.
Mean while the Orcs climed up the window and grabed Laura and then Laura woke up and screamed and then the gard went into her room
Delayed reactions, anyone? No WONDER Sauron almost wins!
and saw lots of Orcs and then Legolas ran down the hall.Then Legolas said"where is Laura"and then the gards said"the Orcs took her". Mean while the Orcs was back at Mondor
MART! Mordor Area Rapid Transit! Will get you home in a jiffy, so you can be before the Dark Lord while your captive’s brother is still wondering what the heck is going on!
and then Laura said"put me down"and then the Orcs did and then the Dark lord came out of the fire
Which might be painful. Also that he appears as a flaming eye could cause problems. Getting out of himself would be rather difficult.
and said"welcome Laura"and then Laura looked at him and said"no it can't be" and then she tryed to run away but the Orcs got her.Then the Dark lord said"put her into the cell and bet her
“…but not for more than $500. We’re on a tight budget here, war and all.”
and also do what ever you want with her but do not kill her". Then the Orcs took her to the cell and trow her into the cell
A lot of bizarre things happen to this girl, don’t they? First she’s whaped in colth, now she’s had someone trow her!
and then they shut the door. Laura go up and went to the window and looked out
quality cells you get in Mordor. A view and everything.
and she was wishing that Legolas or someone will save her.Mean while back at the castle of Milkwood
…where the milkweeds grow …
Legolas was getting the army ready to go and save Laura.Mean while Laura was sitting on the floor and then the door opened and it was some Orcs and the Orcs tied Laura with some chains and then one of the Orcs striped her and then he raped her and then Laura said"go away you bastard".
This, ladies and gentlemen, is an absolutely beautiful scene. Everything goes in perfect chronological order – it’s always best to tie someone up in chains before attempting to undress them, and above all it’s important to not tell someone they’re a bastard who should go away until AFTER they’ve raped you.
Then another Orc came with a whip and whiped her hard and then the Orcs all togeter bet her almost to death
…AND totally broke. Orcs really ARE cruel.
and then the Dark Lord came in with a tube of Posion
… in Technicolor, like those tubes of paint in art class …
and then he injeted into Laura.
And once again, cruel and unusual punishment for our heroine. First the whaping in colth, then the trowing in cells, now the injeting of posion!
Few hours later
Legolas and the others was on the way to Mondor to save princess Laura.Mean while in the cell where Laura was been kept Laura woke up and she looked on her body there was blood and scars she only could move her right arm but not her left. Then Laura said"I feel so cold"and then she can't see very well.
It has been scientifically proven that until you realize how cold you are, your vision will remain totally intact.
At the frount gates of Mondor was Legolas and the others and then they said"let Laura go"and then the Dark lord said"no"
…and then a large hissy fight ensued, with many shouts of “yes!” from our heroes and the sulky “no!” in reply from Sauron …
and then Legolas said"right lisson” I'll will clim up to the cell
“…and this is very brave of me, for climing is more dangerous than whaping, trowing, and injeting combined …”
and get Laura and you and the others will find another way in.Then Strider said"alright" and then Legolas started to clim up. Mean while Strider and the others ran into Mondor and went into the castle.Gandalf said"I'll will go and kill the Dark lord and you and the others go and help Legolas".
…Which is the best battle strategy I have heard in many a year. Wow.
Strdier said"becareful"and then Gandalf said"I will don't you worry about me". Mean while Legolas got to the cell where Laura is.Legolas said"Laura are you in there" and then Laura said"Oh Legolas you finally came"and then Legolas said"are you alright"and then Laura said"no I am not alright"
“…duh! Do you think that after being whaped and trown and raped and injeted, I’d be alright?!”
and then Legolas said"they bet you up and raped you also the Dark lord gave you the posion"and then Laura said"how did you know that".
“Because,” Legolas replied, “I am psychic. And you just bitched about it. Not the sharpest arrow in the quiver, are we?”
Then Legolas said"when I was your age they did the samething to me". Then Laura said
“I am not shocked at all. This must be some sort of family tradition.”
"can you get me out of here"and then Legolas said"ok stand back"and then he ran back and ran towards the door and knock it down. Laura said"wow"and then Legolas looked and saw she was coved in Blood and scars also she was naked" and then Legolas said"why they did it to you not me"
…and Laura would have answered, if she had been able to work out whether this was statement or question …
and then the Orcs came and said"because she got a power and she can distoy us all the bad guys".
I’m glad the bad guys are both smart enough and not-in-denial enough to realize they are bad guys and can be destroyed.
Then the fright began
NOW the fright begins? What was the rest of this story, then?
Legolas got out his bow and arrows andstarted fireing at them.Then Legolas saw some swords and said"Strider is that you" and then Strider said"yes it is"and then Legolas
said, “Strider, what evil has befallen you that you have been turned into multitudes of swords?”
and the others started to kill the Orcs. Mean while Gandalf is have a fun time trying to distory the Dark lord.
Hours of entertainment, destroying evil things …
Gandalf said"I wish Frodo and Merry and Pippen and Sam was here" and then a sword came out of nowhere and said"some wished us here"
“…but unfortunately the same ailment that affects Strider is upon us, for as you can see we are not hobbits, but swords out of nowhere.”
and then Gandalf turned and said"Frodo baggins why you doing here". Then Frodo said"we came to help you and also we got rid of the ring" and then the Dark Lord said"oh no"and then the magical powers from Gandalf distoryed the Dark lord.
And thus was the plotline of Return of the King massacred.
Mean while Legolas and Strider and the others was helping Laura down and Strider took off his cape and put it around Laura.
FEW HOURS LATER
Legolas and the others are on the way back to the castle.Legolas said"we must go to Rivendell to get Laura better" Then Gandalf said"I think you are right"and then they turned around and went to Rivendell.Legolas looked down on Laura and put his hand onto Laura's head and she was bruning up.
“Alas!” Legolas cried. “Enough evil has befallen my sister, for she has been whaped, trown, injeted, and now bruned!”
Strider went aside of Legolas horse and looked and said"she is getting wose" and then Legolas said"I know".
“…for I am psychic.”
FEW HOURS LATER
They were at Rivendell and Legolas stayed at Laura's side everyday intill she wakes up and then Legolas kissed Laura on her lips
which was not disturbing in any way…
and then she moved her arms around Legolas and then Legolas said"all you alright"and then Laura said"yes I am".Legolas said"I am soo happy"
Like, omigod!
and then Laura said"Do you want to be my boyfriend" and then Legolas said"yes I will be your boyfriend"
“…even considering that I am your brother and several hundred years older than you, who, as I may point out, are roughly ten years old.”
and then Laura and Legolas kissed again. Laura said"what happened to me Legolas"and then Legolas said"you got kidnaped by the Orcs and they raped you and also bet you almost to death and then the Dark lord gave you some posion" and then Laura said"why I can only move on arm"and then Legolas said"your left arm is broken".
And thus, abruptly and very disturbingly, our story ends.
Jun. 24th, 2004 @ 10:25 pm
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