LJ Idol Week 23 - The Weak Force
April 17th, 2012 (10:52 am)
intersection with 
vaudy
( LJ Idol - Season 8 Week 22 - bridgeCollapse )
This week was an intersection!
I wrote "the straw that stirs the drink"
And mstrobel wrote "bridge"
I think they can be read in any order.
( LJ Idol - Season 8 Week 21 - the straw that stirs the drink Collapse )
Standing on my tippy toes I peered out the bathroom window, looking down
the driveway for my promised saviours. After having someone try to
convince the authorities that it was not a hoax, I wasn't sure if they
would actually arrive. I was too panicked to speak, and trying to relay
details down the phone to my mother as she was on the other phone to
emergency services apparently made us seem like 12 year olds causing
trouble.
As I waited I lit another cigarette and paced the room. My bathroom, my
tiled safe haven, was getting smaller with each passing moment but I
wasn't brave enough to leave. Not with the intruder still loose in my
home, roaming through like he owned the place.
My heart raced as I heard loud footsteps approaching my apartment from the
outside. Help had arrived! By the amount of footsteps, either in the form
of a centipede or several large men. I crossed my fingers for the latter.
They banged on my door so hard I thought they would knock it off the
hinges.
"Miss Cunningham," they called, loud enough for the entire apartment block
to now know my name, "it's the Botany Fire Department. We had a call from
your mother that you were in distress."
Awesome, now the entire apartment block also knew I was a freak.
Luckily my apartment was small enough that I didn't need to leave my safe
haven to open the front door, I just cracked open the bathroom door and
unlocked the front door for them to come in. Had I been in the laughing
mood I would have fallen down on the floor in hysterics, unable to get up.
Standing in the foyer were 5 firemen, in their full fire fighting
uniform, complete with boots and helmets. They were prepared for
anything, even a hysterical teenage girl.
I pointed towards the lounge room."He's in there," I said, not bothering
with small talk. They were here for a reason, and I wanted them, and my
intruder, gone as soon as possible.
As they moved out of the doorway towards the lounge room, I ducked out the
front door and stood up on the hand railing in the hallway, wanting to be
as far away as possible from the earth. One fireman stayed behind to talk
to me as the others went to investigate, but my panic hadn't subsided
enough for me to converse, so I nodded and smiled and pretended to listen
as he talked.
Lots of four letter words came spilling out of my house and I heard
someone radio back to base and mention that it was not a hoax and they
would be staying to see this one through.
One of the firemen poked his head out the door and asked me for a
container.
"A container?" I repeated, confused by his request.
"Yeh, like Tupperware or something?"
I directed him to the kitchen cupboard and told him to take whatever he
wanted. I almost told him to help himself to any leftovers in the fridge
as well, but he didn't look like the type of guy who would understand my
sense of humour.
This was turning into a strange night.
More four letter words and thumps were coming from my lounge room, and I
finally got brave enough to peek in. I got there just in time to see two
fully grown men pounce on the floor with a simultaneous triumphant "I got
it!"
They proudly held up my Tupperware container like a trophy and I thought I
may throw up again. I took a deep breath and smiled, relieved it was over.
My apartment looked like a bomb hit it - or at least like four fire men
had been using my furniture as an obstacle course, chasing a wayward
spider.
"What do you want me to do with it?" One of the fire men asked.
Without needing to think about it, and without remorse, I replied, "Uh, I
was kind of hoping you'd kill it."
We compromised. Which means they said they'd let it go, but no where near
my apartment. I agreed. As long as I didn't have to see it again I really
didn't care if it went to spider hell, or someone else's house.
After they left I called my mum to let her know they arrived and they got
rid of my intruder. She called the fire department and thanked them for
taking her seriously, and they admitted to her it was the biggest spider
they had ever seen, and apologised for accusing her of pulling their leg.
Later that night I got a knock at my door. I half expected it to be my
neighbour asking me what all the commotion was about, but no. It was one
of the fire men offering me my Tupperware container back.
I told him he could keep it as a souvenir. No amount of disinfectant
could ever make me want to use that container again!
Have you seen the image floating around the web (haha, web. Get it?) of
the spider with the "health bar?" http://nextlol.com/img/42163/ It's an
accurate example of the guy that was in my house that night.
It's been 83 days since I wrote this entry for week 7 of Idol.
My little demon is now over 4.5 months old and getting crazier by the day. Not only is she manic, but she's adorable and cheeky and friendly and extremely funny. She knows what makes me laugh and does it over and over, continuing long after I've stopped laughing and started yelling.
The feeling of helplessness I was struck by in those first few weeks have passed. I figured out how to make her do things - food! Now she will pee on command, sit when asked, drop when asked, spin in circles when asked (okay, not a very useful command, but it's funny to watch!), stay when asked (although if I disappear from sight she breaks her stay to come and find me), and will smile and pose whenever she catches a glimpse of a camera.
She is social and LOVES other dogs, especially pugs or other squishie-faces. I swear she can pick a pug out of a crowd of dogs and will play exclusively with them for hours. There is no fear in my little black demon, she has no problems running up to a great dane and asking them to play, and doesn't object to being sat on by english bulldogs.
If I want to wear her out, I just take her to the beach. She will run in circles on the sand and splash in the water until she's soaked to the skin. She's the only puppy I know who not only allows me to give her a bath without any drama, but actually tries to get into the bathtub on her own!
The thing causing me the most angst back when I wrote that entry was sleep. My lack of sleep, mostly. Max was waking several times a night to pee, and would cry for a half hour each time before going back to sleep, only to be wide awake at 5am and ready to play. It's taken a lot of hard work and pillows over my head to ignore her crying, but I've now got her to the point that she will go straight back to sleep after a night-time pee! We had a brief patch where she thought 4am was a perfect wake-up time, but I've slowly worked her into a very reasonable 5.30am wake-up routine.
Sometimes I look at her and give myself a pat on the back. I'm proud of what I've achieved with her, and although people often comment that she needs to be trained in *this* or *this* I remind them she's 4.5months old. You can't expect her to be perfectly behaved, and sometimes she will still pee on the carpet - she's a puppy!
And she's my puppy. My adorable little manic feral demon puppy who would do anything to please me and make me happy. Really, all she has to do is look at me and it makes my heart melt. Until she lunges at me, gnashing her teeth loudly in an attempt to get to my breakfast!
I got sick this week and had to take an early exit bow from LJ Idol, however Second Chance has just opened up so I'm taking this oppurtunity to jump back in and try to make it back into the main game.
"I'm a ... what?" I asked, confused by her comment."A falcon? You mean
the bird or the car?"
"Not a falcon," Stephanie tried to explain, "a Vulcan."
"Uh huh," I responded, but my interest in the conversation was lost as
soon as I knew I wasn't being told I was a car. Plus I had been
interrupted from a really good book by the random accusation and had no
idea what she was talking about.
Stephanie flicked through our DVD collection and found what she was
looking for. Popping the disc into the player and rearranging the lounge
cushions she asked me to sit with her.
"I want to show you something, it won't hurt." She sounded so convincing I
almost gave up my book, until I heard the theme music start up.
"Nooooo!" I cried, covering my ears with your discarded cushions, "please
no. I'll do anything you want, anything but this."
'Come onnnn," she pleaded, "it's not that bad. There are women, cute
women!" She tried appealing to my superficial side, which usually worked.
It made me stop for a moment, but I wasn?t easily convinced. "I don't like
my women dressed as mutants."
"Seven of Nine is not a mutant."
"Seven of ... who."
"Nine, Seven of Nine," Stephanie explained patiently. "Tall, blonde, skin
tight silver suit?"
I removed one of the pillows from my face. "Skin tight suit?" I was
sceptical of your claims; I'd seen this show before. Once. Whilst stuck
at a bus stop in Regina, Saskatchewan, Canada. We were waiting 6 hours for
a bus and it was playing on the small TV mounted in the corner. I was
desperate. I watched it for five minutes and decided that was five minutes
of my life I was never going to get back. Hairy men with funny faces,
robots, strange languages - none of it interested me. Tall blonde women
in skin tight suits? That interested me.
Stephanie took advantage of my momentary distraction and set the disc to
play. I cringed at the music and felt a pang of embarrassment for the
people who actually had to take credit for it.
A few minutes in I'd had enough. "This show is crap," I announced, "It's
not logical!"
Unable to hide her amusement, Stephanie just laughed. "Keep watching."
"But they are in the middle of nowhere and they found these strange
creatures who just happen to speak English? Not logical!"
Stephanie shushed me and I tried not to sulk. A few minutes later my
opinions changed.
"It's Ronnie," I screeched, unable to contain my excitement. The tall
blonde woman in a skin tight suit was Ronnie from Boston Public.
"Extremely hot, but not logical. Why does she need to wear a skin tight
silver suit when everyone else is in a uniform?"
Stephanie ignored me, wisely so, but it didn't stop me. "Is she one of
those falcon things?"
"Vulcan," Stephanie muttered, obviously starting to regret forcing me to
watch this. "No, she's not a Vulcan."
Hmm, bummer. I wasn't being told I was a hot blonde in a skin tight suit.
Oh well.
"Not logical," I announced again a few minutes later. "How come they can
create food and other stuff out of nowhere, but they can't create
something to help them get home?"
"And shields," I continued, not perturbed by Stephanie's lack of response.
"Why wouldn't you always set shields to 100%? Why bother setting them
halfway? And while we're on that topic, wouldn't sirens and flashing
lights annoy you in an emergency? Why does red alert always have to be so
annoying? It's not logical!"
Stephanie reached for the remote."Nono don't turn it off," I cried, "I'm
enjoying this."
"I'm not," she grumbled, "but I'm just skipping through to the important
part." She re-played the show just as a tall guy with funny ears stepped
into the scene.
He tilted his head to the side and looked at the character standing next
to him, not unlike my pug puppy does when she doesn?t understand
something."That is not logical," he stated, much to the dismay of his
red-suited colleague.
As Stephanie looked over at me with raised eyebrows all I could do was
laugh. And laugh. And laugh some more.
"He's a falcon?" I managed to ask though my giggles.
Stephanie nodded in confirmation."Vulcan," she corrected."But yes, he's
a Vulcan."
"Well," I said with a grin, "I guess we can safely say, logic indicates I
am a Vulcan!"
