uniquegrl7

So. Self-improvement. It's a big word, and I've always imagined it to be this big thing. Self-improvement meant transformation. It meant that geeky girl getting the makeover. It meant the Biggest Loser. It meant me becoming someone and something else, because who I was wasn't good enough.

I still don't think I'm good enough, in a lot of ways. But I've realized that trying to drastically transform myself generally makes things go drastically back to the way they were. So now I'm thinking of self-improvement as the little things. Small improvements that maybe, potentially, could mean things in my life improving overall, but even if they don't, they'll probably make my life better. I do have big things I want to change about my life and myself, but I'm not sure I'm ready to tackle them just yet.

So here are the things I want to improve about my life. And I'll be posting once every couple weeks to discuss my progress, add some things that need improvement, subtract some things that maybe I've changed my mind about improving, etc.

The Little Things:

- Fitness - So I consider myself to be physically fit. My weight has not fluctuated drastically since I was in the 10th grade. I joke about how people always tell me that I've lost weight as a compliment, but I literally have not gained or lost a pound. However, high school-me was playing tennis every single day from summer to fall, and in the winter and spring I would be dancing multiple times a week. College-me still dances, but only during the semesters. Plus, my stamina has always been terrible, and I want to be able to perform a full 8-minute Bollywood set with a smile still glued on my face by the end of it.

How I am going to improve this: I've begun doing the Seven-Minute Workout every few days, and for now I want to increase that to once a day once my foot heals up. My heel's been hurting every time I put pressure on it, but I went to the doctor today, and I know that it's going to be fine in a few days.

-Writing - So this could be considered a big thing, but I'm forcing it to be a little thing so that I actually do it. I've been working on my novel for almost a year now, and it's survived multiple computer failures, semesters of hell, and internships. I haven't been able to give it my full attention since last summer when I was taking creative writing classes, but recently, I haven't even touched it. It's a matter of a combination of writer's block, not having MS Word on this computer, and being in too many places at once and not uploading the files onto Google Drive. Also, I keep second-guessing my main character and her backstory.

How I am going to improve this: I am going to pledge to write 1400 words a week, which is only 200 words a day. It's doable, and it's entirely within my capabilities. And I'm promising to have the word count by the end of the week so that even if I can't find time to write one day, I can still make it up the next day. Additionally, I'm going to begin brainstorming article ideas, because I gotta get ish published if I wanna be taken seriously as a writer. I also have to stop using words like "gotta," "ish," and "wanna," I suppose. This blog will probably also help me out in writing.

-Organization - I am not a very organized person. I feel like I've gotten better at this over the years, but I still have a tendency to forget things and not show up to things or do things I'm supposed to do. I've gotten planners and tried a lot of things, but none of it has stuck.

How I am going to improve this: I think I need a planner that is flexible enough that I can turn it into whatever I want or need for the day. I don't tend to have routines that repeat daily or even weekly, and I need something that suits this. I have a lot going on and I need to write it down. I also need to learn to forgive myself when I don't touch my planner for a week. Because what happens is that I don't touch it for a week, and then I feel like the whole thing's shot and I live a disorganized life another few weeks because I feel like I've failed at using a planner and it's never going to work, and then I start all over. Maybe I'll try bullet journaling, but it seems like a lot of work. I'm not sure what's going to work yet, but a regular old planner worked for me for a few months this past semester, so I might give that a go again.

The Big Things:

-Flakiness - So I'm a bit of a croissant. I'm incredibly flaky but I've got a wonderful, soft, tasty inside that just makes you like me anyway. (I have to give credit for that joke to Franky, my fave.) I'm terrible at making and keeping plans, finishing things for myself or others, and just being a functional human being.

How I am going to improve this: Communicating and saying no when I know something's not possible. I am an idealist, and I plan like one. Ideally, I'd be able to do everything there is to do in New York City within a day. Ideally, I'd also be able to clone myself into multiple bodies to be able to do and experience these things. But I can't do those things, and I need to stop saying yes with a smile on my face when I really mean no. Also, I need to be able to cancel plans without getting nervous about it or just not showing up without prior notice. It's rude and I need to remember that being nervous about making that phone call to cancel plans is a lot nicer than being nervous about not showing up and wondering if that friend will ever want to hang out with you again.

-Stubbornness - I'm a stubborn sonuvabitch. When I was two years old, my mom was trying to feed me a grape after dinner, and I didn't want it. She still put it in my mouth. The next morning, the grape was still there. A few days ago, a dish left in the sink ended in an epic argument that both my mom and I regret.

How I am going to improve this: I have no idea. I think I'm most stubborn when someone is disagreeing with me about something and when there's something bigger going on. So maybe I just have to remember to scale my stubbornness and weigh it next to the problem that is actually in front of me and at hand. I may not be able to stop reacting badly, but maybe I'll be able to react the correct amount based on how large or small the problem is.

-Lying - I tend to lie to myself when things are going wrong. I tell myself that they're not going wrong. Or even if I know perfectly well that they're going wrong, I tend to lie to everyone around me and pretend everything is going swimmingly. I've gotten a little too good at it. Nobody seems to suspect a thing when I'm at my worst. And if I know that someone will, I avoid them at all costs as much as humanly possible.

How I am going to improve this: Trust. I feel like I fail myself a lot of the time, which is why I lie to myself even when I know I'm lying to myself. I also don't trust others with my feelings and my secrets. I know there are at least a couple people in this world that I can trust, and I just have to be less flaky about my friendships with them and communicate on a regular basis.

-Overall Mental Health - I haven't been happy in a while. And I know this, because I've been happy before and I remember what it's like. I'm not sure if I'm depressed or not, but I know that my mental health has taken a beating the last couple years and I've been avoiding confronting it.

How I am going to improve this: If, by the end of the summer, I don't feel like I've made enough improvement by myself, I'm going to go to a counsellor, or maybe a therapist. Even if I do improve, I think I probably should because I've been feeling crappy for a while and have been avoiding this feeling for a while. However, it's all about the little things, right? These next two weeks, I'm assigning myself the job of creating achievable goals that I can feel good about.

I've been thinking about making a post like this, a committment like this, for a while. However, I was spurred into doing this after watching the Parks and Rec episode where Leslie and Ben get married. It's gorgeous and made me feel all the good things and made me wish that I had a Ben for my Leslie. But then I remembered, I'm not Leslie yet. Not that I necessarily want to be a neurotic binder-making overly-loving freak, but I'm not the me I want to be yet. I'm not the me that I want my true love to meet. I need to learn how to be the best version of myself. I know that it's a never-ending process, but I think I'm ready to begin that journey.

I'll see you in two weeks.
Nirali.

Hey everyone. It's been a while. Four years, in fact. The lovely holyfant talked about this in her most recent post, which inspired me to do so as well. I used to post a lot on LJ, and my shift to tumblr was mostly because everyone else was doing it, and I discovered AO3. But, AO3 is a fanfic-only platform, and tumblr isn't conducive to conversations that aren't vitriolic or just absolutely ridiculous. (While I do like their new chat feature, it's hard to start a personal conversation with someone you've only met via the internet) So, I'm back. And I thought I'd reintroduce myself to anyone on my flist who's still around. (See? I still know the lingo!) A lot has changed in my time away, and I can't wait to get to know this corner of the internet again.

So, who am I?

Name: Nirali
Age: 20
Gender: Female

What am I up to?

College: NYU - English Major, Social Entrepreneurship and Creative Writing Minors
Writing: Currently, a novel's in progress, and clearly I'm writing on this LJ. Fic-wise, I've been running the tumblr fanfictionguide for a little over a year, but that's more reading. I haven't been writing many fics, although you can find the ones I have written post-LJ on my AO3 account. I won last year's NaNoWriMo, the first I participated in, and this year I'm not really doing it because I feel like the novel I'm writing requires a much slower pace, and because I don't have time.
Dance: Not sure if I talked about this before, but I was doing Kathak when I was here last, and now I'm doing more Bollywood stuff. I'm part of NYU Dillagi, a sort of co-ed dance team.
Videoblogging: This is a thing I think I got into after I was sort of done with LJ. Basically, I discovered Nerdfighteria, watched the vlogbrothers for about a year before starting to make my own video content. I'm still making videos pretty regularly, and you can watch them here at youtube.com/firewordsparkler :)

Where am I? Where have I been?
Let's see...I moved multiple times in the last few years, although my last move was within the same city so not sure if that counts. My first move was from my small town in New Jersey all the way across the Atlantic to London, England. Yup! For all of my freshman year of university, I studied in the wonderful city that managed to colonize the world.
Then, I moved back to the East Coast to New York City, where I dormed in NYU for a year before moving again to live with my sister in a fantastic midtown apartment. So that's where I am right now. In my apartment in Manhattan. How cool is that?

When?
I thought the five Ws thing would work, but not really. It is currently 1:29 am EST and I am falling asleep, so I'll continue this in the future when my mind is slightly more coherent.

Why?
Am I coming back to LJ? Because I love it and I miss it. While I wasn't posting on LJ at all for the last four years, I did do quite a bit of lurking. I came to LJ for the fics and stayed for the real stories - as well as the awesome fics. I miss fandom being substantial. This is where I learned why Finn Hudson was awful, where I got into politics with ONTD politics. Where I could freely discuss things and expect coherent responses instead of trolls v SJWs. I feel like that void was filled by Youtube for a long time. While I'm still getting a lot of substance from youtube, it's a very specific focus and I feel like I can explore all my interests here.

How?
Working wifi and a computer.

Title: The Baby
Fandom: Glee
Ship: Puck/Rachel
Rating: PG-13, because everyone knows that if Glee wasn't on network television, Puck would be cursing a helluva lot more.
Prompt: "Rachel and Puck get in a car crash, she wakes up to Puck sleeping in the
chair next to her bed. As soon as her eyes open Puck jumps up and hugs
her. Rachel's first response is
Rachel: The baby?
Puck looks at her and shakes his head.' by xxxalexandraxxx – puckrachel drabble meme (part 8)
Word Count: 569
Summary: "It was your first gift to me"

( Follow the cut!Collapse )

Well, I'm vegetarian, and I've been my entire life, so I have MANY favorite foods, and all of them are obviously vegetarian. :)

There's the obvious Indian stuff, because y'know, I'm Indian and all...:
Rava Dosa
Paneer Makhani
Palak Paneer
Chilli Paneer
Anything with Paneer
Samosas
Curry (...as stereotypical as that is...)
Rotli, Dal, Bhaat, Shaak (Typical Gujarati meal)

So, there's the Italian stuff, too:
Penne a la vodka pasta
Pizza (olive toppings)

There's Mexican:
Mexican Pizzas
Enchiladas (there's one with green sauce and paneer inside instead of black beans which is to die for)
Seven-layer bean dip

Chinese/Thai:
The really thick, flat noodles w/ peanut sauce
Tom Kha soup

Other stuffs:
Falafel
Stuffed mushrooms
I really like desserts, too:
Brownies, cupcakes, anything with chocolate, fro-yo

I could go on...but should I? To sum it up, I'll say that my favorite food in the world is...(drumroll please)...the CPK Tostada Pizza. For today, at least :)

Stolen from  lavender_love00  :)

YOU'RE ON MY FRIENDS LIST, I want to know 28 things about you. I don't care if we've never talked, never really clicked, or if we already know everything about each other. I really don't. You are obviously on my flist, so let me know with whom I'm friends!

01✖ Your Middle Name:
02✖ Age:
03✖ Single or Taken:
04✖ Favourite Film:
05✖ Favourite Song or Album:
06✖ Favourite Band/Artist:
07✖ Dirty or Clean:
08✖ Tattoos and/or Piercings:
09✖ Do we know each other outside of LJ?
10✖ What's your philosophy on life?
12✖ Would you keep a secret from me if you thought it was in my best interest?
13✖ What is your favourite memory of us?
14✖ What is your favourite guilty pleasure?
15✖ Tell me one odd/interesting fact about you:
16✖ You can have three wishes (for yourself)
17✖ Can we get together and make a cake?
18✖ Which country is your spiritual home?
19✖ What is your big weakness?
20✖ Do you think I'm a good person?
21✖ What was your best/favourite subject at school?
22✖ Describe your accent:
23✖ If you could change anything about me, would you?
24✖ What do you wear to sleep?
25✖ Trousers or skirts?
26✖ Cigarettes or alcohol?
27✖ If I only had one day to live, what would we do together?
28✖ Will you repost this so I can fill it out for you?

Side note: I'm on team MAMD, which is a totally awesome show, and therefore a totally awesome team.

Lord Tubbington, Brittany S. Pierce's cat, because he is just so fascinating! I mean, he can read, he likes fondue, he's pretty much exactly like me. I'd ask him why he enjoys reading Brittany's diary, of course.

But seriously, I'd want JK Rowling on my show, because she is just so absolutely amazing and has affected my life in the most positive ways possible, and I know that I'm just one of the many hearts she's touched with her novels and her actions, so I think many would want to watch the talk show, too.