god damnit. I kept telling myself I wasn't going to do this. And up until 5:30 thought I was going to be successful.
Kenny's going to school this semester, and he leaves sunday morning. I have now begun to cry and hate myself for it, because he is only going NOT EVEN AN HOUR AWAY. but the fact still remains that I'll drive by his house daily, and that I wont be able to see him whenever I want.
I was having a depressive episode earlier, because he was supposed to meet me someplace, and didn't get there until over an hour after he said he would. I would have been fine if he had shown up 30-45minutes late. And I should've been fine because he was texting me. but over an hour late. and that's when it hit me that he wasn't going to be here much longer.
He was supposed to meet me at Best Buy at 3:30, because I had the guts to spend the money for the PS3. But because he didn't get there until 5, I lost the guts. And didn't. So I'm most likely not going to get one until the summer. which idk.
I don't want to be home. But the only other alternative is to go out to a bar with Kenny and some of his friends, and that soungs just as worse. I want to be with him alone, or in an atmosphere I can deal with. I kind of just want to go to the movies and watch a movie.
I have no friends. I mean sure I have people I talk to and people that I see, but I don't have friends to hang out with. I don't have friends I'm comfortable hanging out with and I hate it. I also hate how your nose runs when you cry.
I don't want to lose him.
Kenny's going to school this semester, and he leaves sunday morning. I have now begun to cry and hate myself for it, because he is only going NOT EVEN AN HOUR AWAY. but the fact still remains that I'll drive by his house daily, and that I wont be able to see him whenever I want.
I was having a depressive episode earlier, because he was supposed to meet me someplace, and didn't get there until over an hour after he said he would. I would have been fine if he had shown up 30-45minutes late. And I should've been fine because he was texting me. but over an hour late. and that's when it hit me that he wasn't going to be here much longer.
He was supposed to meet me at Best Buy at 3:30, because I had the guts to spend the money for the PS3. But because he didn't get there until 5, I lost the guts. And didn't. So I'm most likely not going to get one until the summer. which idk.
I don't want to be home. But the only other alternative is to go out to a bar with Kenny and some of his friends, and that soungs just as worse. I want to be with him alone, or in an atmosphere I can deal with. I kind of just want to go to the movies and watch a movie.
I have no friends. I mean sure I have people I talk to and people that I see, but I don't have friends to hang out with. I don't have friends I'm comfortable hanging out with and I hate it. I also hate how your nose runs when you cry.
I don't want to lose him.