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Maybe it's because it's time to grow up. Maybe it's because I'm too distracted. Perhaps though it could be because I've just simply forgotten.
Whatever it is, there statements pertain to two things. 1. This LJ. 2. This Summer.
In regards to 1... I love writing about myself. It's always an amazing feeling to go back to entries I posted in 2005 and read what I was feeling, what I was doing, what I was into. It's good because without this, I would never remember. Lately though I've neglected the LJ and I really think I'm going to kick myself in the future because of this. This year, my Junior year of college was one of the most intellectually ground breaking years of my life and yet I hardly recorded any of it. But maybe since it was so intellectual is why I just didn't find the need to write here. Nonetheless...my Senior year of COLLEGE is upon me. Next year at this time, it's no joking. Which is why I vow from this day on to acknowledge the LJ at least once a week.........this bring me to number 2
This summer: I won't say anything. In my mind this make sense but right now I won't say anything. Hopefully I'll get this when I read it later on. Something's different this year. I don't know if it's good or bad, although...it's probably a little bit of both. I haven't had a good summer since 2006 and in reality, this is my last full summer vacation academically ever. I left school on a weird note with a lot to look forward to or maybe be scared of next year and that's got my mind in other places than dwelling on being where so many bad things have happened the past 2 summers. I've grown and learned so much the past year and for sure as hell it has been no joy ride. I'm beginning to become. I'll just leave that at that.
A note on Junior year ending... Academically, I'm a god. Socially, not so much...but then again I'm not really sure. I always seem to draw wishy washy-ness into my life, meaning...I never get closure. So much was...actually, one thing was left up in the air, and a huge thing at that. I don't know if I was wrong, I don't know if I was right, I don't know if I don't know (yeah, it's that confusing lol) But I do know one thing, if this one turns out to be a deuch, there's no hope. I will give up and so should every other girl on the planet.
Home is home. I love the smell of summer which is what I got blasted with when I first walked into my room. I think that's what gives me hope. Despite the past two, the smell of summer still makes me nostalgic.
I want to unpack CORRECTLY this year. And I need to get this car situation off my chest. Once those are out of the way, it's clear sailing til August 11th.
For once in a really long time, I can honestly say that it's good to be me right now. Where I am and even more so, who I am. If only everyone else (especially one person) could see that.
I love humid rain. And I can't wait til Conan is back =]
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