The things that I remember when I first started using the web was being on social sites like Myspace and Blackplanet. I wanted my page to look unique and completely different from everyone else's page, so the pre-designed layouts weren't good enough for me since I knew that at least one other person, somewhere, would have the same layout. I started researching the hmtl tags on whatever I wanted to do on my page, from centering to inserting an image or music. To changing the color, font or size of the text and to puting my own picture as a background. And then creating my own layouts and for others to use. Needless to say I got very good at it.
As time went on, I became very computer savvy! I love computers so much that I am now going back to school for imformation technology/computer programming. It is what I love to do the most, (well besides shopping lol.and am greatful that I have this oppurtunity to go to school for what I love and don't want to mess it up!

It has been a while since I have posted an entry because my laptop has been down. I hope to get a new one soon!
I recently started my english comp class and is reading chapter one right now. I had to take a break because I wanted to speak on something that I read in the text book. It says that someone being born as a great writer is a myth, and that a great writer can be taught. I am so happy to read that! That means that there is hope for me! Yaye!!! lol. I really believe that too. A great writer developes his great skill by writing whenever and wherever he has a thought, he jot, he dabbles, he takes notes. And he has an imagination.

I am most passionate about one day being able to be my own boss! That day will come!!!

2010 Goals:

1. Take a 10-30 minute walk every day. And while you
walk, smile. It is the ultimate anti-depressant.

2. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day. Talk to GOD
about what is going on in your life.

3. When you wake up in the morning complete the following statement, 'My purpose is to __________ today. I am thankful for______________'

4. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.

5. Drink green tea and plenty of water. Eat
blueberries, wild Alaskan salmon, broccoli, almonds & walnuts.

6. Try to make at least three people smile each day.

7. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip,
energy vampires, issues of the past, negative thoughts or things you
can not control. Instead invest your energy in
the positive present moment.

8. Eat breakfast like a king,
lunch like a prince and dinner like a college kid with a
maxed out charge card.

9. Life isn't fair, but it's still good. Time heals all wounds. Give time TIME.

10. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.

11. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

12. You are not so important that you have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

13. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present.

14. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

15. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.

16. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: 'In five years, will this
matter?'

17. Forgive everyone for everything. In your last moment on Earth, nothing petty will really matter anyway. LET IT GO!

18.What other people think of you is really none of your business.

19. GOD heals everything - but you have to ask Him.

20. However good or bad a situation may be, it will change. Change is constant.

21. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and family will. Stay in touch!!!

22. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

23. Pay off your debt. Don’t spend your life being a slave to a creditor.

24. Each night before you go to bed complete the following statements: "I am thankful for __________. Today I accomplished _________. "

25. Remember that you are too blessed to be stressed. Worrying will not add a second more to your life.

26. Its your job to protect your HEART. Dont allow anyone in your life that does not have your best interests at heart, and continues to hurt you. See #15.

27. **ADDED** When you make the biggest mistake ever, something good always comes from it. Live, Learn and move on.


28. When you are feeling down, start listing your many blessings. You'll be smiling before you know it!!!!

With so much information on the Web, I stay organized by utilizing my bookmarks. I organize my favorites under specific folders. I have a lot of favorites and try to limit myself to adding ones that I just want to read later. I use Fire Fox's "read it later" add on for this. I also put files in folders that I name myself.

Writing is something that I want to get better at. I want to try a new thing were I don't hit the delete key at all. If I misspell something or make a small mistake, I can correct it later. I want to not worry about making mistakes and concentrating more on fixing them than what I am trying to express. Instead of deleting I want to try and write my way out of my mistakes.

I look at this picture and feel like everything that I've been through was a nightmare. This picture is unexplainable. When I look at this picture I feel fire, rage, and the devil looking back at me. I hate the hell out of this picture. I am lost for words because he looks exactly like Aeon. But when I look at Aeon, I see warmth, innocents, and a good person. Sometimes I have cases of deja vou. And I've never seen this picture before besides in a nightmare.
I swear I still can't believe what happened to me is real. I always wonder why did it have to be me. I always believed that God wont put a load on you that you can't handle... well I almost died numerous of times. I guess that just may be the point: ALMOST! I know that I was put on this earth for a reason. I know what I want to do but is that the reason? I have so much built up inside of me that I have always believed that in my past life I was someone like a poet or a writer...Even though I have a hard time with expressing things in this lifetime.

My daily internet routine always start with checking my google mail. Then usually after that I usually check my Facebook. I keep my google mail open in a separate tab so that I can always come back to it. I usually end up all over the internet depending on my received email.

It seems like I am always on facebook. Apparently, I have another account that I haven't logged into in about a year because I forgot which email I signed up with. So when I logged in, long and behold, I have 2 messages and a friend request from Thomas asking for forgiveness and if he can talk to the kids. The message was dated all the way back in March. The second message was dated about a week later and he says something about all he's asking is to talk to his kids. It kind of pissed me off. For one, that seems a little harassing considering that he should be in prison somewhere for what he did to our son and me. For two I don't even log in to that profile and he didn't even stop to think about that. He asked for forgiveness so easily that it pissed me off again! I always wondered what I would say to him if I ever saw or spoke to him again. He has never gotten to really see the real me as long as we were together, because I always had to watch what I say and do because of his insecurities. I was 16, a virgin, all alone and a little naive. When I realized what I gotten myself into, I was already at least 6 months pregnant with Aeon. I wanted to leave but didn't have the support. Even though I was 16 years old, I wasn't one of those girls that stays with her man just "because I love him". I was in Kansas with no money and no family. Now, looking back, I bet that's just how he liked it, because everything got a lot worse. I've been beaten, mentally and verbally abused everyday by this man since I received the help to get back home to Nebraska. I still have some of the scars til this day. I never receive medical attention on the leg where he repeatedly kicked me one night, and it is still hurts in certain spots when I touch it. I think It's been almost 13 years. The absolute worst is what he did to Aeon. He was just a baby. I don't understand how a 24 year old man could have been that impatient to do something like what he did.
I have to deal with the fact that I couldn't get out as soon as I did. I wonder what Aeon will think of will think of me when he finds all of this out. I love him and he and Tymeicha is my life. I would do anything for them and I don't think Thomas is worthy of talking to them. I feel like if I would have stayed any longer, Aeon and I would be dead and there would be no Tymeicha.

Today I was feeling okay, pretty normal. My cousin Keisha came over and is still here. She bought over a bunch of CD's. I love music so much. She has a lot of great albums that I am copying to my computer right now!
I feel so inspired today. I went to pick up m books this morning and I have a Guide to writing book that has several quotes on the inside of the cover. I feel as if I already said the exact same quotes in the past but I just couldn't express them right or in those exact words. I couldn't believe what I was reading. It was like reading me! I can't wait to see what this writing class will help me improve. I would like to become such a good of a writer. Maybe I can try to write a song or two and see how that turns out! lol