IF ANYONE CAN STILL HERE ME PLEASE COME TO ME. I have very fond memories of everyone back on LJ and well, if it's still possible I'd like to reconnect. <3

  

I can't breathe. I can't breathe. I can't breathe. I can't breathe. I can't breathe. I can't breathe. I can't breathe. I can't breathe. I can't breathe. I can't breathe. I can't breathe. I can't breathe.

Okay, I'm cool.

I don't what's wrong with me, I should be sleeping but I'm feeling kinda not okay.

Maybe it's because tomorrow is Monday and I was sick all weekend and it's like where did my time go and it's already Monday I can't deal. I'm so behind on everything RP I should just kick myself. I'm not behind on school so that's one thing I can cope with... this is like week 6 of the quarter? 5 more weeks can we just fast forward to my week of break. I don't think I'm used to college pacing yet though because it's more tests and less homework and I basically sit here like WHY DO I FEEL LIKE I'M NOT DOING ANYTHING? And I probably am not, because we truly do not do much.

And it's only been like a week of being 19 years old and I just want to rewind.

Goodness, sometimes I hate living on this planet. Because I hate this cycle. But it's something we all live in. Whatever. I sound so pessimistic I'M NOT ALWAYS LIKE THIS. I LOVE PEOPLE AND I LOVE LIVING AND STUFF I'M JUST PRESSURED RIGHT NOW FOR NO REASON.

Also I've been getting really vivid dreams lately, but they're not always the most pleasant. But I also been realizing I am dreaming too, it's weird. Wow this is so random kill me I was just thinking about sleeping. I tell Alice my dreams, she thinks I'm overwhelmed so I've been getting bad dreams. I should mention, I rarely get nightmares. It just doesn't happen.

I've just been so terrible. I don't really want to make friends in college all that much to be fairly honest because I just don't feel like spending time on them even though I know I can very well make a good amount of friends. But this commuting thing is like, nope I want to go home. I'm always so tired....... And this neighborhood is lame. And my close friends are far away back near my old house so I have to wait until break to see them nnngh. I hate this.

I need a game plan.

Now.

 OKAY. TIME FOR ANNABELLE TO BREAK DOWN HER HAPPY WEEKEND AT ALA.

IT'S PROBABLY BADLY WRITTEN BUT I DON'T REALLY CARE.

( b-b-break downCollapse )

I'm really restless right now and I didn't want to spam plurk with basically: I FEEL KINDA CRAPPIE. HELP ME. I'm sure this will help my mood a lot so let me start!!

Hmmm, I got swooned by a 14 year old boy on New Years Eve! LMAO. It's kinda embarrassing to think about but he was the one that was trying to court me in the first place!! No, really. He seems really old fashioned that it was simply adorable. He poured me a cup of sprite and set it down on the table at the hotpot just for me and even said he can get me something else if I didn't want that. Later we talked a little and yeah, he's real nice! What's even more impressing that we were in a church meet and when they were asked to introduce themselves he had a lot of deep things to say about God and our church. My parents were totes impressed by that and talked about it on the car, whereas my mom was just like HE WAS TOTALLY TRYING TO IMPRESS YOU. That's kinda embarrassing to think about, because he's /14/. But he's from Sydney, and has an Australian accent and I was just like ... ... wow the way he talks is so cute. ANYWAYS. He said he was going to Canada for a ski trip or something and I probs won't ever see him again so it was just a cute thing to note that happened that day.

Right now it's the 3rd and I already feel like I'm failing this year.... But then again it just started and what can I possibly be doing right now. I'm going to Anime Los Angeles on the 6th~8th as Jade and Karkat. It should be great and I get to see stridering! And on Thursday I'm probably going to go see goofable to go shopping for.. the next day!! My green contacts are still not here even though I pre-ordered them like a month ago though!! Kinda disappointing but I guess this just means I'll be on top of everything when I go god tier Jade u/////u. But anyways, that's not until Anime Expo.

I have to finish reading this book though, Feast of the Goats. It's actually really interesting but god it's about history and politics and it's 480 pages and I wanted to weep. Fuck me, I'll read more later.

Also my sleep schedule is completely wacked. I don't even.................. okok.

I think that's all there's to say!! I sure can talk a lot. I'll do another thing for myself about roleplay muses since no one has to deal with me about it. As you can see I take it very seriously uguuu. I guess I should make my account pretty now. Yesss.

Wow it sure has been a long time since I made an entry of some sort!! FIRST POST GET! Hehehe. I guess I just wanted to type something up before the year was over. Wow this year was kinda... a lot of things happened!!! I was still in high school for half of it and now I don't remember it. It feels like I graduated..... last... year? To be honest I think my brain forgot about half of the year that was summer. And you know what's kinda sad? I can't even go back to look at my journal and see what happened because I stopped updating for such a fucking long time. go me.

Well. Ok. I looked through my journal and it wasn't that bad.

( word vomit about the yearCollapse )

( shitty resolutionsCollapse )

( roleplay shitCollapse )

Happy New Years Eve guys!! I actually kinda doubt I'll post anything on New Years but I did want to say something before the year was over. u////u

edit: whoaaa the cross post worked!!! i was just thinking that i don't want to lose anyone just because they aren't going to dw!! if you missed me of course i missed you too ;w; ♥♥♥  and for anyone that moved/are moving im right here~