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This is one of the weirder phone calls I've gotten recently. A mom called on Friday, which was a half-day of school in my area. Her son has some sort of...performance or audition, not sure which, where he needs to do high notes and he can't do them, and do we have a tutor who can help with that? Um, a vocal teacher? No, I don't have anyone available like that on such short notice, plus this is the sort of thing where this should have been done weeks in advance. I can't guarantee your child will be able to sing higher notes in three days.

No, no, not vocal--trumpet. He needs to be able to play high notes on trumpet in three days. He committed to playing this song without being able to play those notes. Yes, well, I personally know someone where it took her two YEARS to be able to play a full scale on her instrument. This was an unusual experience--I suspect the girl had no ear and couldn't hear pitches, because her fingerings were correct--but yeah. This is a muscle thing. You have to build up your embouchure to be able to do this properly and consistently. That's not something you necessarily can pick up in three days.

This wasn't what the mom wanted to hear, I'm sure. And the next time I had a trumpet teacher on staff was Tuesday anyway. I didn't say this, but I wanted to--maybe this is a lesson for your kid on properly planning ahead, and also not saying yes to something you're not prepared to do. I don't know if this mom kept searching for a teacher after I finished talking to her, but my goodness. Also, tell me you're not a brass musician without telling me you're not a brass musician. Their embouchures get tired pretty easily even if they're professionals. High notes take a lot out of you unless you build up that stamina--and even if you build up that stamina. A middle school kid like this? If he can't hit those notes now, he's not going to be able to learn them in this short amount of time. The next time something like this comes up, start working on it *today*. That day. And every day after until your performance.

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disappointed

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Time for another story about one of my store's piano teachers. This is the same one from princess & papa bear.

Back around December, when I was off work for a week, someone must have donated a bunch of books. The piano music was along a religious bent and must have included several hymn books that correlated to one of the more common lesson series. By the time I came back, many of the books were gone; they were put in a crate and made available to anyone who was interested.

I wasn't aware that the hymn books were even in there, but shortly afterward an order came in for other books in that series, ones that completed the set. Our one teacher had snagged them, recorded them, and some of her online students liked them. This caused her to want to get more of the books--and for us to stock them.

Things to know:
1. While she does teach out of that series of books, it is far from our most popular series. It's a distant third. It's a legacy series, so people of a certain age (think 50+) are familiar with it, but younger teachers and teachers with a familiarity of other series simply don't use it any longer. It looks dated. The pictures are 40 years old. They don't appeal to current students, if given a choice.
2. In our area, hymn-style books are not super popular. We carry a hymn book in another, more common series, along with several other supplemental style books. It really doesn't sell. There are only a few families who take lessons with us who've specifically requested those books; most skip them. So I keep one in stock per level with little to no backstock on it because it's not flying off the shelves.

When these books came in, I basically made the teacher buy them. If you want them so you can record the other books, that's fine, but I have had ZERO call for these books in the decade-plus since I've worked here. I see no point in stocking the books. I don't want to have books for "just in case." We'd just cleared out a bunch of books that had been stocked for "just in case" and were never bought. That's money that could've gone toward other products and bills we had to pay, and took up space where we could've featured other items. This is a business decision.

She seemed to take it as an "against her" decision. She said she'd ordered them through such-and-such coworker, who she doesn't seem to realize is the lowest front-end coworker on staff. He cannot make stocking decisions. Can he place special orders? Yes. Can he determine permanent store items? No. And he'd recently stepped back from working the front of the store and now is in more of a back of store position, which means his FOS skills have deteriorated. Of all the people to have gone to, he wasn't the correct person for this.

And then she went to my boss about it. Of the books that were ordered, one happened to be a duplicate of the free book that started this all off. She wanted to keep it in her room to try to sell it to her students. Absolutely not. I do not want un-purchased merchandise off the salesfloor. I want it where I can see it. I kept it on my counter, in an area where I knew where it was. She got mad because how can her clients buy it if they can't see it? ...You tell them about it, you grab it from the counter to show them, and then they can make that determination. It doesn't need to be on the shelf in order to be bought. Feel free to ask me more information, rather than assuming you know what's going on since...you are not a staff employee. You rent space from us. You don't know what's going on.

Unfortunately for me, my boss doesn't know how to put on his big-boy pants, and he acquiesced to her. Soon after, more of the hymn books showed up and have been put into stock. The books nobody has asked for in over a decade. And there they sit, taking up space, and I get to look at them every week when I do my ordering. I will be excited should the day come and one actually sells, but I'm not holding my breath. I fully expect, several years from now, to be putting these in the pile of books we should never have stocked, to be moved along in a special clearance sale.

The kicker: This teacher, to keep herself busy between lessons, has long recorded various lesson books for her online studio. What is she recording currently? The hymn books we already carried prior to this whole thing starting.

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Once, there was a little girl who took piano lessons. She was about five or six, old enough to be capable of doing certain things for herself, but her mother treated her like a princess and held her juice box for her so she could take a sip, or allowed her to leave her lessons to use the bathroom rather than planning ahead and using it beforehand. Then again, they often were late to their lessons, leaving their teacher standing around and waiting for them to begin.

One day, the princess participated in a recital. Several piano teachers and their students were involved. The princess' father, who did not often accompany the princess to her lessons, saw what the other students were doing and got very upset. Why wasn't the princess performing what they performed? Why were her songs so simple, more like exercises? The father went into papa bear mode and spoke angrily at the teacher, then discussed switching to another teacher since her students were playing actual songs. The recital was toward the beginning of the month, and the family had already paid for the rest of the month's lessons with the current teacher, so they decided to finish out the month before switching.

At the final lesson, papa bear brought princess. The lesson only lasted a few minutes when papa bear started causing a ruckus and the lesson room door flew open, at which point papa bear involved the narrator for the first time. The narrator, looking to finish off her work for the evening, was stunned. Luckily the business owner was there and took papa bear and princess off to the side while the narrator talked to the piano teacher, who unfortunately kept trying to interject and was making things worse until they were physically separated, papa bear up by the front door, the teacher halfway back in the building.

Now, the teacher had brought up something important, but in a way that was greatly disturbing to papa bear, to where he appeared to be in great denial of a major issue: It appears princess is dyslexic. However, the way the teacher brought it up was problematic. She said directly, in front of the child, you are dyslexic. She does not have proper credentials to make such an assessment, so it would have been better to take the parent aside to say, I am noticing that your child is doing everything in mirror image when she's writing things down. You may want to discuss this with her pediatrician or a specialist at school. Alas, the way it happened caused a huge blow-up, with papa bear lashing out at the teacher and the narrator and even the business owner, who was able to diffuse the situation enough to get papa bear and princess out of there. Still, when papa bear asked the narrator if she would say something if she noticed an issue, well, yes. If someone notices an issue with a child, especially someone who is an educator, they're required to report such an issue. If it's affecting their education, the whole point is to get the child assistance so that they can thrive in a learning environment, not stagnate or have continued issues that are ignored until they become a huge problem. Early intervention is key. Princess was young enough that becoming aware of anything now would affect her entire school career. Papa bear kept talking about how bright she was, and this and that, and would not hear that his child could be "broken."

The teacher that had been lined up to take over princess' lessons was told of the incident--not difficult, since her lesson space is next door and she overheard some of what had happened--and she was willing to keep an open mind on things. However, the family never returned. The story we were told was that princess' mother had lost her job and they could not continue to take lessons. Whatever the case, I am hoping that, over a year on from what had happened, princess has gotten whatever help she needs to thrive, and that her parents recognize that she is capable no matter what her limitations are--and that they may be the ones holding her back.

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Our newer technician at work has been there about a year and a half. She's still more of an apprentice, but she has picked up a lot and can do most brass repairs, most flute repairs, and some sax repairs. She's still learning about clarinets but at least can repad them. She's a brass player so she can play-test those instruments. She can sort of play flute, and will do a preliminary play-test on those, but she'll bring them to me to do a final play-through since I can catch the minor issues she's not aware of.

She brings me this flute to play, and the sound is really weird. I feel strained when playing it. Once it gets up to high D, there's major resistance. At high F, it won't come out well, and high F# and above will not come out, no matter how hard I blow. Weird. She takes it back and tinkers with it again, but she cannot find anything wrong with it. I play it again; same thing. I can get high F out but F# and above, it's just air. It's like I'm attempting to overblow B natural and I don't have the angle or air speed correct, even though I know I do. With some notes that don't come out, there's obviously a leak somewhere and we can troubleshoot and figure that out. With this, nothing jumped out at us. And all the lower notes came out just fine. The player is in middle school and likely started hitting those higher-octave notes, so she wouldn't have noticed anything off until this point. I finally said, why don't we try swapping out the headjoint? With the one on the flute, I was feeling major resistance, like my air was getting pushed back at me. I wondered if there was a micro leak in it or something.

On Friday, my tech hands me the flute and has brought a different headjoint to try. There is nothing mechanically wrong with the body of the flute, but again, the upper octave is a problem. I take out the original headjoint and put in the new one--and it's fine. I can play the upper-most notes on the flute with no issue. The look on her face was perplexed. I put the old headjoint back in and sure enough, the notes did not come out. New headjoint? All was well. I even said to her, you look like you're thinking, "What sorcery is this?!" She said yeah. She had no idea the headjoint could make such a difference. Most are cut correctly; perhaps this one was a factory error. Or perhaps it does have some sort of micro leak in the soldering or something. I do play-test most of the beginner rental flutes, but she's started doing some of them and I wonder if that's what happened here, because I would not have let that flute go out in that condition.

At least it was a simple fix after all that. The flute player should have a much easier time getting out her high notes. One of the band directors at that school is a flute player I know, so I imagine the teacher may also have tried playing the flute and run into the issue. Sometimes it's the player; sometimes it's the instrument. It 100% was the instrument this time around.

Addendum: A few days later, the new headjoint she'd ordered had arrived, but it was just the metal cylinder; there wasn't a cork in it. Since the old headjoint wasn't working properly, she took the cork out of it--and we discovered the issue. There was about a centimeter gap between the end of the cork and the washer on the bottom. Aha. We closed the gap and the original headjoint worked fine. Better, the parent of the flute player came in to pick up the repaired flute later that same day so I was able to give her the update. Now we'll know should we run into this situation again. Check the cork!

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This story starts last year and involves an acquaintance of mine. I've known her for years but not all that well, and frankly my opinion of her goes down the longer I know her, for various reasons.

She had a relative who brought us a brass instrument for repair. The relative spoke highly of the work my tech did, so now the acquaintance wanted to bring in her instrument, a piccolo, for a full repad. Here's the thing: My tech is a brass person who, due to circumstances, was forced into learning woodwinds. He does a fine job overall but he is unable to complete long repairs in a timely fashion. He needs more help in his repair shop to help him manage the load (that's a whole other issue entirely). Since our main focus is school-age children, this means that when school starts in the fall, he is extraordinarily busy. If you are an adult whose needs are not pressing, I will tell you to wait until October or, better, November, to bring in your instrument when we are out of rental season and things have calmed down.

This was told to the acquaintance. Your piccolo repair is not pressing; please wait to bring it in. She did not and insisted on bringing it in a month earlier than suggested. Guess what: It sat there. And sat, and sat. My tech also has no sense of timing and, when she would occasionally call to get updates, would tell her, oh, another couple weeks, another month, and then that timeframe would pass and she would call for another update. Come on, just get it done and out of here. Finally, probably in late February, he finished it, I play-tested it, and we called it done. The acquaintance was contacted to come pick it up.

Except, it wasn't to her standards. A few weeks had gone by before she brought it back to say she was having trouble with some notes. I took it back to the shop and played it, and yes, some of the lower stack keys were leaking with certain combinations. My tech did notice some bent rods which would not have gone out that way, which would affect the keys in question. He made some tweaks and we gave it back to her; this was done while she waited. However, metal has a memory, and the tweaks he made didn't hold. She brought it back again a few days later saying it was worse than before and requested it back in a month.

He got it done about a week and a half ago. I played it down three times. This is one thing to know about the acquaintance and me; we are in the same group and see each other weekly. She knows I play piccolo for this group. She knows how well I play. She should know that I would not let it go this last time unless I deemed it worthy. The first time I played it, I did scales upon scales and tested the note combination that seemed to be giving us the most trouble. I then let it sit for a few hours and tested it again. Still seemed fine. I let it sit overnight and then played it the next day--for an hour. I pulled out a solo book and read them down. If I came across a possible issue, I had a flute next to me to make sure it was me and my embouchure and not the instrument. Jumping from C down to F was the big issue, that and going from Db to Eb. Running through that on flute, then transferring it to piccolo, showed me that the problem was me and not the instrument. It's a matter of adjusting the embouchure to the peccadillos of the piccolo. When I called the acquaintance to let her know her piccolo was ready, I encouraged her to play-test it before leaving so we knew it was to her standards. When she'd brought it back, she told us she wanted it fixed or she wanted her money back. Well, it's fixed.

I'd called her on a Friday. She picked it up that Saturday. I was not there and she was helped by someone who doesn't know her, but he saw my note about playing the piccolo and asked her about it. According to a coworker, to whom this was relayed, she told the Saturday person that she had no faith that the repair tech could fix the problem and no, she was not going to be playing the instrument. She then left.

We found this out on Monday when I noticed the piccolo was gone. The coworker who relayed the story hadn't helped out the acquaintance but is well aware she is...persnickety. She was in and out before he really realized she was there, and it was only after she left that the Saturday helper told him what happened. My boss was really upset to hear about this. I'm not entirely surprised, truthfully, but at the same time it's really insulting that she doesn't trust my judgment on an instrument I play regularly that she plays once a year for a parade. In fact, we had rehearsal that evening and I sit behind her, and I happen to be playing a lot of piccolo at the moment. There is no way she can miss what I'm doing. I would be happy to play her instrument in rehearsal since one of my piccolos is the same model. My boss is in the same group; the acquaintance said nothing to either of us last week. It's no great loss to me, but I'm really hoping she no longer wishes to do business with us. I don't think we're able to fit her needs and she should find somewhere else. Here's the problem: I know people who work at other nearby music stores and I'm not sure I want them to have to deal with her, either.

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An acquaintance of mine, a clarinet player, wanted to learn to play the sax. He got a sax from someplace and had it looked at, and tried to play on his own, but he was having some issues. He brought it to our store and had our tech take a look at it; the tech found the other place had missed a number of problems and that was causing the issues; it wasn't the player. Because he wanted to see if the prior place could remedy the situation, he decided he didn't want us to work on it, which was fine and understandable. However, he said, are you still doing home delivery? It would help me out a lot if I didn't have to run over and pick it up. This was something we started offering during the pandemic, and kept up with once things relaxed, but our store hours also tend to be other people's usual work hours, and it can be hard for people to get to us during the week. I talked with my road rep, and he said he could take it the next day, and I was assured someone was usually home during the day.

The following day, in the afternoon after running other errands, the road rep took the sax to bring it to the guy's house. This is where my rep drives me nuts: All he had to do was call before he left to say he was on his way, or to let the guy know he'd be there within a certain timeframe, but no. My rep just went on his merry way, and got to the house...and no one answered. My rep also is paranoid about customers having his cell phone number, so he doesn't like to call people from it, even though he had an invoice with the guy's address and number right with him. Instead, he calls me to reach the guy, who is out on a walk and a good 15 minutes away, and he's telling me his wife should be home. I call my coworker, who said it's clear nobody is home; he's rung the bell and he's looked around the yard, and it's not like a garage door is open or there's a car in the driveway. I tried calling the guy back, but it went right to voicemail; I'm guessing he was trying to reach his wife. I called my coworker, who was wondering what to do next; I know the guy had joked the day before that if all else failed, we could put the sax by the back door. I reached out one last time, and sure enough the guy confirmed that he'd attempted to reach his wife and she didn't answer, and he was still a few minutes away, so please don't wait any longer; go ahead and put the sax on the back porch. So that's what my coworker did.

About five or ten minutes later, the phone rings and it's the guy. He's home, and he has the sax, and he's sorry for the trouble. He did get in touch with his wife, and naturally that day was the one day where his wife had an appointment, and she hadn't bothered to mention it to the guy. Oh, goodness. At least he got it, and all ended well, but what a circus--and one that could've been avoided had somebody called ahead to begin with.

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A mom brought in her son's trumpet because the mouthpiece got stuck. She wondered, is it because he was using an old mouthpiece in a new trumpet?

...No. It's because your kid's new trumpet is a piece of crap. But it's not like I could tell her that.

I don't know what the kid was playing on before, but the mouthpiece was a standard old trumpet mouthpiece. Key word: Standard. Mouthpieces are meant to be swapped out. Longtime trumpet players are notorious for having multiple mouthpieces because they're used for different purposes. (As a flute player, I'm not entirely sure of the differences, but cup size is important depending on what is being played.) Any trumpet mouthpiece is meant to fit into any trumpet. So long as the mouthpiece is a quality brand, and the trumpet is a quality brand, you should have no issues.

Alas, the trumpet this mouthpiece was in was an internet special. It doesn't matter that it's new. It's still junk. The mom would probably freak out if I told her I had mouthpieces themselves that cost more than her kid's instrument.

Ultimately, I think the mouthpiece receiver was a little dirty, and that's what caused the mouthpiece to not want to come out. The junky horns aren't always cleaned properly when they come out of the factory, and it doesn't take much to cause issues. I think my tech cleaned the mouthpiece and a little inside the receiver and that was it. But...yeah, my tech doesn't want to see your horn again, because it makes him die a little on the inside.

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There is a school district we work with that has their students do a summer program. We deal mostly with beginner students, who get a jump on playing prior to the start of the following school year, but there are programs available for students who have played for a year or longer.

The Thursday before the program began, I got a phone call from a parent whose child would be doing percussion. She starts rattling off her child's needs, and I missed hearing the first couple items, but it sounds like her son is a typical beginner and would need a combo kit. Okay, just go to our website and you can sign up for the combo kit there; it'll come with what you need. She said, oh, I just need it for a week. ...Well, the purpose of the camp is so that your child gets a head start for band for next school year; you're going to need the equipment longer than just next week. (I also thought that was odd--summer band should be two or three weeks long.) She said, oh, my child already plays trombone. He doesn't need to play percussion in school.

...Let's back up a minute. So your child isn't a brand-new beginner. And he's also not looking to play two instruments in school. What was the point for signing up for the percussion camp? She told me, he thought it would be fun. She then starts reading off the different items the camp requested the child to have--specific sticks, specific mallets, timpani mallets that weren't mandatory but would be good to have. Then, at the end, the list said to bring your bell kit and snare drum to school for the week, AKA a combo kit.

It dawned on me: Her son signed up for the camp meant for kids who've already played percussion for at least a year, to hone their skills and learn new techniques. This isn't a frivolous, let's-beat-on-things sort of deal. Um, ma'am, it's telling you to bring a combo kit because it's assuming your child already plays and would have that equipment. I strongly suggested to her to contact the band director to see if her child should even attend, because he wasn't the target audience for it. Once she realized what was going on, she thanked me for my information and was going to talk to the director.

I felt bad for her. Because of the pandemic, information that normally would have gotten to the parents, didn't. There was no summer program last year, and kids who did band and orchestra in the fall did everything virtually for months, only returning to school for the fourth quarter. Had there been a summer program last year, she likely would have seen what was available at that time and realized who should attend what. This year, the sign-ups were done virtually, so that there wasn't a parent meeting or anything to attend, where again she likely would have realized what was appropriate for her son and what was not. I don't fault her at all. If she had no prior children in the program, and her friends also have children of a similar age or younger, there's no way she would have known. I wonder if her son will still participate. Part of me hopes not, simply because I think he'd be lost, but if the director was willing to work with him, it could be a fun situation and expand his knowledge of different instruments.

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As the school year ended, a few districts had their students sign up for summer band. This was a big deal thanks to the pandemic; one particular district did not start beginners the previous fall. They were therefore signing up kids from two grades in order to still let the older students start playing instruments.

However, again due to the pandemic and this being a band, i.e., wind instrument situation, the students weren't allowed to try out instruments to determine what they wanted to play or what their aptitude was. Some families were fine with that; those that wanted a more tactile experience came to our store.

One of the later families to try out instruments was a mom and her son. He wanted to try brass, in part because that's what his father played. Some kids can't buzz to save their lives, but when I handed the mouthpiece tester to him, he buzzed right away on both the trumpet one and the trombone/baritone one. One shot, done. So I handed him the regular mouthpieces; same. And then he got the horns themselves and spent the next 45 minutes going to town. Holy cow.

This child is a brass natural. There was no point in adding in any woodwinds; that would just confuse the issue. Though he did try to blow on the woodwind parts of the tester, which is one piece; without a reed, he didn't get very far with the clarinet part, and I didn't bother explaining the flute part. He's good with brass. Very good. He could play anything he wanted to--but he couldn't really narrow it down. He liked the baritone, and he liked the trumpet, and the trombone was okay but he still played on it a few times to give it a good go.

I did my best to give the mom some advice--hard to do because the kid has brass lungs and made it hard to talk over him--and at one point I pulled out a couple lesson books. He was hitting high Cs and Es on the trumpet like they were nothing. At one point, he hit a G. I showed the mom, this is where people start on trumpet (anywhere between low C and G above that); this is where your son is naturally hitting the notes--it takes the class getting halfway through the book before they officially learn C. It would take to the beginning of book 2 to officially learn E, and the page where G is introduced is smack in the middle of book 2, right where the staples are. So, I mean, he'll be fine on any of these instruments, but if he needs a nudge in one direction, start with trumpet. I also let her know it's a gateway brass, so that if he started on trumpet, he could easily transition to other brass, like baritone or French horn, later.

There are things I would normally do with the kids who come to try out the horns that I couldn't do with him. The other kids I'd seen recently were more reserved, tentative, maybe a bit shy. This one, honestly, was all boy and active and curious, trying the mouthpieces in different configurations, putting them in the opposite horns to see what would happen, quickly figured out how to fit the horns back in their cases and would put them--at least the trumpet and baritone--away and take them back out, and remembered how to hold them. At one point I asked, does he like science? He seems like a kid who'd be into experimenting with things. He was cracking me up, honestly, just his pure joy at getting to play everything. But back to what I'd normally do, I'd try to have the players take big breaths and let them out slowly, try to hold out the notes, that sort of thing; I kind of couldn't get a word in edgewise with him. Hand him the trumpet or baritone, and he'd immediately wiggle his fingers all over the place. Trombone, he moved the slide all over, including about as far as he could make it go, then a little farther, but never so far that it came off completely, at least. (I did that to show the mom some of the possible repairs a trombone might need.) There was no trepidation with this child regarding anything involving the instruments. Yeah, I'd say he's a trumpet player.

Note: I wrote this up shortly after the child came into the store. In the meantime, the band director reached out to the family and convinced the child to play baritone, and sweetened the deal by getting them a school rental, which is less expensive than renting from us. This was not a surprise to me at all. The band director plays baritone herself, the district has had more trumpet rentals than anything but maybe half a dozen baritone rentals, and truthfully that seemed to be the child's preference by the slimmest of margins, owing to what his father played (the largest of the brass family). He'll be fine on anything, truthfully.

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And now for a break from music-related posts; this was an advice column that caught my eye. I really wonder about some people.

From Sunday, February 14, 2021; link is from the Denver Post.  This was the second letter in the column.

Dear Amy: I believe my husband is having an affair. I know this from watching his behaviors. His phone is constantly going off, day and night. He stands with his back against the wall to check his phone so I can’t see it when he gets home. He is constantly clearing his history. He is very protective about his phone and gets very defensive when I try to talk to him about it.
He is also narcissistic and very into porn. He has always been dishonest.
When we were engaged, I caught him sexting with his ex-wife, who was one of my closest friends. His mother even warned me about how dishonest he is.
He refuses to work on our relationship and is very emotionally abusive and immature.
I have prayed, gone to church, and done everything I can to support him and help him, but ultimately it’s his choice to continue with these behaviors. He acts like he doesn’t care. He doesn’t change. He won’t go to counseling to get help.
I feel taken for granted and used. He only wants me as a home base and wants to continue communicating with lots of women on the side.
I believe he has fallen out of love with me. The spark in his eyes is gone and he won’t communicate.
At this point I don’t know what to do. I have already considered separation but don’t feel like that will fix anything because he refuses to change.
I don’t want a divorce because I love him.
— Confused

Dear Confused: Actually, separation could fix everything. Everything.
Separation would remove you from your husband’s orbit. You wouldn’t have to watch him as he tries to mask what he’s doing in your home and under your nose. You wouldn’t be forced to look into his loveless, sparkless eyes.
You wouldn’t have to confront him about his dishonesty or listen to his lies and defensive responses to your allegations.
You don’t have to stop loving your husband. You do need to start loving yourself. You need to grow up, accept that you cannot force your husband to change, and take responsibility for the fact that you chose to marry someone you don’t trust. Counseling would help you.
You are a great believer in the power of change. So change!

When we were engaged, I caught him sexting with his ex-wife, who was one of my closest friends.

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We have one school district where we strictly do orchestral rentals. Unlike band instruments, these are a pure rental; the families have no chance to purchase them outright, because when they start, the players are on fractional-size instruments.  They'll grow out of them.  At the same time, this also means they can rent in perpetuity.  In this case, they have to return the instrument to us in order to cancel the contract.

Not everybody knows this, or perhaps they've rented for so long that they've simply forgotten, and they keep on renting for years and years.  Unfortunately on our end, we don't have an obvious way to contact these customers to go, hey, you've had this instrument for a decade…are you sure you want to keep renting?  It's up to the customers to be proactive and realize, hey, why am I still paying for this?

Then again, some have ways to stop paying that don't involve contacting us and asking pertinent questions.  Some people have flat-out canceled their credit and debit cards.  Like…we still don't have your rental instrument in our possession; you're still going to accrue payments on your account, and we're going to send you to collections.  In the case that came up recently, this customer contacted their credit card company and disputed her payments with us.  I mean, okay, that's one way to do it…but again, that only stops the payments from coming out.  That doesn't cancel your contract.  You'll still owe us money until and unless you get the instrument to us.

Once the payment got disputed, the store manager looked into the situation.  With all the payments the family had made over the years, they'd easily paid for the instrument they'd had.  He ended up returning the rental and selling it to them, so we were able to walk away from the situation.  That is, until a month later, when the woman called the store and left a voicemail to say she couldn't pay for the rental anymore and it had been 11 years.  Again…why did you wait so long to call?  I think I'd reached out to the orchestra director about this family and, as expected, got told that the player had aged out of the program years ago.  I then got to call the customer back; I think she might have been the girl's grandmother.  I explained what had happened, that we'd canceled the contract and essentially sold the family the violin, and she did not owe us any more payments.  I don't think we heard back from her, but this was just after Christmas so perhaps it was a belated holiday gift for her to hear that.

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frustrated

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Every so often, there comes a customer that you kind of just wish they'd go somewhere else.  This is one of those customers.

Our story starts at the beginning of the year. I have a late-start day, and on that particular day, I walked in and my boss said, I'm going to lunch; if *this person* comes in and asks for me, tell him I died. …Oh?  What the heck happened?  Apparently the man was so annoying over the phone that my boss simply could not deal with him any longer. Perhaps he amended it to "tell him I quit," though since his name's on the business, that might be hard to convince the man of that.

Eventually he came in that day. The story goes that the man's son had played saxophone back in the day, and the dad found it and decided he wanted to start playing it. He had taken it elsewhere to be looked over--to a place where we know they don't have a wind instrument repair shop; they focus more on rock band equipment--and it still didn't play for him. The shop told him, it's because you don't know how to play.  This could very well be true, but at the least someone should have played it for him.  (From what I know about the shop--and we're friendly with this shop, don't get me wrong--they likely didn't have anyone there who *could* play it for the man.)

What the man had talked to my boss about was us checking over the sax. The man didn't want to leave it, so my boss had arranged for my tech to stop what he was doing and look it over quickly. The tech was not to talk to the man but mostly pick it up and drop it back off, that sort of thing. The verdict: While the man may have put $100 into sax repairs at the other store, his sax still had leaks and old pads and we probably recommended at least a general checkover, if not a full repad. The other thing that had been discussed was the man possibly trading in his sax for one of our used saxes, and we had a couple for him to try out.  Eventually, he did end up trading in his sax; he attempted to haggle, but no.  I'm no haggler.  You can either take your sax back, or go with the trade-in and pricing you've been offered.  Those are your choices.

It was a long afternoon, that was for sure, but since I'd been forewarned I'd brought my patience.  Alas, that wasn't the only dealing we had with him.  Fast-forward about six weeks.  The phone rings; it's him. He's having trouble with his sax.  Sir, you have a warranty on this instrument; your best bet is to bring it in.  He didn't want to for whatever reason, so I then spent the majority of a 26-minute phone call attempting to troubleshoot the issues over the phone.  I ended up motioning for my coworker to grab me a sax off the wall so I could see what was going on, as he was having trouble with the octave key, and I'm not that knowledgeable about saxes that I could picture everything that was going on.  Basically, some notes were coming out correctly and some weren't.  Okay, well, if your sax isn't here, we can't tell if it's the sax, or if it's you.  He then tried to tell me that he'd been playing sax for three months, as if that somehow conveyed professional status.  At one point he played something for me, over the phone, and asked how he sounded.  I went, you sound like a beginner saxophone player. …Because that's what you are.  He seemed insulted by that.  Sir, I'm a judge for elementary and middle school solo contests.  I hear a lot of players.  You sound just like any kid in their first year of playing.  It takes several years to gain any sort of proficiency on an instrument, even if you're practicing every day--especially given that this man is not taking any sort of lessons.

In fact, I mentioned private lessons to him.  I'm pretty sure that got mentioned the first time he'd come in.  And, I think he relented and gave the okay to pass along his contact information to our general woodwind teacher, who then met with him over Zoom, and then came to the store in person, to see if he could figure out what was wrong with the sax.  That may have been how the sax finally appeared in the repair shop, because the teacher couldn't troubleshoot it online, and even in person said, you know, you have a warranty, just let the store take a look at it.  I'm pretty sure what happened was that the guy didn't know how to handle the sax and some things got minorly bent or were otherwise out of adjustment.  I think the guy then thought he had a lemon.  No…honestly, it's what the other store said, he doesn't know what he's doing.  But it's not like I could tell him that.

I strongly pushed my tech to get the sax done and out of the way so we could get this guy out of our hair.  We did, but not fast enough; the guy called to ask if it was done.  Sir, you brought it in on a Saturday, when the repair shop is closed; Sunday, the entire store is closed and nobody works; and on Monday, he's got to figure out what's going on and then take the time to fix your instrument before you can take it home.  My word.  But he was able to pick it up that afternoon, and he played on it, and it seemed okay to him.  And, again, to my ears, he sounded like a beginner sax player.

The kicker is that, simultaneously, we had a college-age player who was looking to buy a sax, I think a tenor, and he'd come in that Saturday and then again that Monday to try out saxes.  He walked in the door right when the older guy was leaving.  Let me tell you, the college student's playing was leaps and bounds over the old guy.  This is what probably 10 years of practicing will get you.  I nearly ran after the old guy so he could listen, but I decided I was perfectly glad to get him out of my hair.

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sad

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We have a gentleman who has been taking lessons from our store off and on since I've been there.  He's a veteran, and I believe he suffered an injury during a tour of duty that has caused some cognitive issues.  He still has his love for music and he still wants to learn, so he's taken lessons as he's had the time and inclination.  I'm not even sure who all he's taken lessons from in terms of the teachers at the store, because he'll come for a few months, and then we won't see him for a time, and then he returns.  Most recently, he has taken guitar lessons with a longtime teacher.

The gentleman called one day this spring and asked to speak with my boss.  He was at lunch and I said I could have him call the man back.  He then started to explain part of why he was calling--his teacher wasn't really teaching him, he said.  Essentially, the teacher was making him feel bad.  It was as if the teacher expected the student to teach himself and only taught half the lesson.

The man was clearly unhappy.  I'm not sure if upset is the right word, as he stayed calm during the conversation, but he definitely wasn't getting his money's worth from the situation, and if he'd tried to resolve it with the teacher, that must not have gotten him anywhere, hence him calling for the boss.  I hadn't realized, but the man had been taking lessons at our store since childhood, so we're talking over 25 years; the owner knows him to some degree.  I know my boss did call the man back and they talked for some time, and what the man had told me was that he was going to take some time off lessons and come back next year, and he'd prefer to take lessons with another teacher.  That second teacher came in later that day, and I let him know this man will be asking for him.  I don't think the second teacher has taught him before, but because he's been around for so long, he did know who the man was.

A couple weeks went by, and the first teacher came to my boss' desk to talk after teaching; without the adult student, he was leaving early.  My boss asked, so, what's up with this student?  The teacher's answer, or what I heard of it, upset me.  I don't think this teacher gets what he's working with.  The man is not like a typical student.  Sure, he's a middle-age adult, but his brain is unable to work like it should.  I'm not going to say he needs his hand held, because that's not it, but he needs more scaffolding than one would expect.  The mere fact that this teacher is unable to recognize that, and basically disregarded the man's abilities, frustrated me.  Sometimes you have to meet someone where they are.  He's not looking to be Eddie Van Halen.  He's just looking to play for the fun of it, but he has to be led.  He can't be told, oh, just look it up online.  The teacher has to take the time to walk him through everything.  This teacher doesn't have that capability.

The same teacher has another student, on a different instrument, where this player has been stuck on the same song for weeks.  This is a school-aged child, a beginner, who also needs extra help.  I've realized that this teacher isn't terribly effective.  I would think most people, if they've tried one way and it hasn't worked, would try something else to help the player improve.  I won't name the instrument, but it is a wind instrument, and this child needs to build up his embouchure and learn how to play notes longer than a quarter note.  I mean, seriously.  Why isn't the teacher having him warm up on a scale?  Or, if he can't play a scale just yet, at least play through five consecutive notes?  Hold them out for two counts, four counts, and try for eight counts each.  Instead, he keeps making the kid play Christmas songs in April.  Like…clearly he's not improving.  And the boy's family members aren't around to hear that he's stuck on the same songs at all times, though one would hope he's practicing at home.  He may have some sort of facial issue that is complicating things, which I can't see because he is wearing a mask; I've heard a comment to that effect.  But there has been virtually no improvement in the month and a half I've been listening to him play. 

I've had a crappy teacher, who essentially had the mindset of, she'll never be as good as my best student, so I'll just throw whatever in front of her so I can get paid.  That's the feeling I get here, rather than the teacher meeting the student at their level.  It makes such a difference when a student gets a teacher who really understands the underlying issues and can figure out ways to help the student improve.  This teacher? Does not have that capability.  And, alas, nobody else is willing to come in and teach at this time.  (It should say something about this person that he is, in fact, willing to teach a wind instrument during a pandemic, just saying.)

Note: This was written in April and posted at the end of May. The adult student mentioned above has resumed lessons, this time with the second teacher, and the situation has vastly improved for the student. He is grateful for the extra time the second teacher is willing to spend to help him learn the songs he wants to learn; the second teacher takes the time to write things out in a way that makes sense. What a difference a teacher makes. As for the other student, there has been some progression--not much, but at least he's no longer playing Christmas songs weekly. It sounds like the family will be moving out of the area this summer. I hope they are able to find the child a teacher in their new location--somebody who recognizes the problem the child is having, and is willing to work to help him improve. This child would get so upset and frustrated to the point where at least one lesson ended early because he was crying. That's not okay.

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confused

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(Note: This story is from earlier in 2020.)

We have this customer with twins. Both play the same brass instrument. For whatever reason, this mom insists on bringing both instruments in at once for cleanings. I mean, I get it, why make multiple trips if you don't have to? However, this customer never seems to realize any of these things:
--If she kept one and gave us the other, there would be one horn still at home so both kids could still practice.
--If she told us her kids had their next lesson on X day, we could mark it in the repair tickets and try to get the repairs done by that day. (She'd usually bring them in the day after the last lesson, so if it was a Wednesday lesson, she'd bring us the horns on Thursday.)
--If she thought ahead, she could have arranged for at least one loaner horn, if not two. And, because I believe both instruments were rented from us, there wouldn't be a cost to her, even though they're both paid off.

No, no. Why bother to consider any of that? Instead, she brings both of them in at once, never asks for a loaner, then wonders why we don't have them done by Wednesday of the following week. Like, this happens every time this woman comes in, and she freaks out on us. She's not dealing with me on the initial visit; she's dealing with my coworker, who for whatever reason is not terribly proactive about this situation.

Perhaps I shall note this customer's account about all of this…it's tiring to have to go through this constantly. She's one of those customers who is good about bringing in the horns twice a year for a cleaning. That's the other reason it's frustrating; she never catches on that things could be different than they are if she were just proactive.

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Tidbits I'd come across during last fall's rental season--made all the more difficult by the teachers only being involved via email for the most part (hooray pandemic).

--One earnest mom, trying to be helpful, warned me one Tuesday that her child's new director had recently sent out an email to all the beginner families and we'd probably be getting a lot of people coming and renting soon! I didn't have the heart to tell her that other schools in her district had sent out their email the prior week, so this was not brand new information to us. Thank you, anyway.

--Violins and violas are not the same. Please request the correct one, otherwise class time will be VERY confusing.

--In the local district, the orchestra directors request rubber bands and binders. Some parents are really confused by this request. No, they're not some special music-related items. They're literally rubber bands and binders you probably already have at home or can get at any office supply store.
(For one family, I ended up just giving them a couple rubber bands--we tend to amass them from the prior orchestra students. They're used to attach a basic string sponge to a violin or viola, to make it more comfortable to play without having to buy a full-on shoulder rest. This family didn't ask or question what the rubber bands were; I was just feeling magnanimous at the time.)

--Students needed to come in to get sized for string instruments for the most part. We got used to that pretty quickly. Families would come in, get sized, and do a rental right then and there. Except for one family--I sized the child at a 3/4 violin. Okay, great, let me go grab one for you. The mom went, oh, we don't need an instrument right now! And they left. Like…what? You're already here…your child must be taking orchestra and starting this week or next…what the heck? (We had a feeling they were going to buy an internet special, in which case we'd probably see them back soon enough once their $100 violin came to them with no bridge set up.)

--In our area, we have a number of people from other countries who come here to work, and it's not uncommon for them to take extended time to go back and visit their families. When it comes to renting an instrument, this throws a wrench into things. The families don't want to pay for something that's not being used. Much of the time, the families renting orchestral instruments, where they won't be purchasing them, they simply return the rental and do a new contract once they return. Band instruments are different; they're rent to purchase, so they'd be starting from scratch if that contract got returned. My coworker had a customer who said, soon after the initial trial period was over, that they'd be gone for a couple months, and should they return it or what? They went back and forth for a couple minutes before I finally interjected, just keep renting it. Seriously. It's two months.

--One day, while several families were in renting instruments, one family was there with several children, including a little boy of 3 or 4 who was making a fuss about wearing a mask. The joys of the pandemic. None of the families were within 6 feet of each other, and while the mom was freaking out, I said to her, I think everyone here understands the situation. Everyone else in the store had on a mask. I did try to get the family out of there as quickly as possible, and one of the older children may have taken the little one outside, but no other customers said anything. It's a little kid. This poor mom had enough going on.

--With the pandemic, and not being able to bring items to schools, we started offering at-home delivery or curbside pickup for our online rentals. Overall, this worked out great, as a lot of families in the immediate area must work the hours our store had been open--truncated thanks to the situation. The only problem happens when our one delivery person goes MIA while the other one is already out, and a family calls to ask, are you delivering my child's instrument today? The second person returned before we heard from the first one--who should have been the one delivering the instrument--and ended up having to go out again. Something like three hours later, the first delivery person showed up or called back finally, only for us to tell him, yeah…it's already gone out. Thanks anyway. (This was at the height of our rental season, when the second person should've stayed in the store to help with contracts and phones, which was part of what was frustrating.)

--We could tell we were getting out of rental season when one day, toward the end of September, we didn't do a single contract until 5 minutes before closing.

--The local district didn't have its directors coordinate with each other, or us, when it came to what they wanted beginner students to have. This is how we had families coming in to rent clarinets who were told to get four reeds to start. For many years now, we've put three reeds in our rental clarinets. Why. Why would you tell them four? I ended up telling several parents, we've been putting three reeds in our clarinets for decades and this has long been fine. Worry about it once your child has gone through these three reeds. If there are any questions, please have your band director reach out to us. (I don't think it was a problem past that. At the very least, tell them 3 or 4 reeds. More than 2. Consider that you can buy reeds in a 3-pack, not a 4-pack when it comes to beginner sizes and brands.)

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Back in the fall, we had a situation that perplexed us with just how out-of-touch a particular customer was with how stores and ordering worked.

She first contacted us in September, right in the middle of our surprise rental season. Her three children were taking piano lessons and all needed the same book--upper level, somewhat obscure, not anything that we'd normally carry. We took the order. However, this customer left no contact info. We'd normally call when the order arrived, but there was no phone number on file. (I am unclear if the customer flat-out refused to give her number for whatever reason, or if it simply wasn't there; the coworker that helped her…is special in her own right and would not specifically say to the customer, we need your number to contact you. All my coworker would tell me later was that the customer wouldn't give her number. …Did you ask for it? Did you tell her we couldn't contact her without one? Sigh. But that's a story for another time.)

This had happened on a Monday, when we were busy enough that we needed to place two orders a week; we got in one of the three copies the next day. The other two were backordered. However, with no phone number, we were unable to call to let her know, and too busy to send her a letter via USPS. We normally tell people that orders come in over the weekend, so if they don't hear from us, they can call to check on things.

A couple weeks go by; it's now October. The customer came into the store and ended up being helped by my people-pleaser boss. She claimed it had been over a month since she placed the order and she hadn't heard anything. Well…our records show you placed this order two weeks ago, and we did not have a phone number on file to contact you, so let's get one now so we can reach out once we have more information. My boss said he'd look into the situation, including calling the publisher. (Note: He didn't. He basically forgot about it right after she left.) The customer was insistent that it had been at least a month, and we must've waited to put the order into our computer, and she was going to check her phone to see what day she called us. (…Right. Because we'd legit just sit on something for ages. No, ma'am, you simply don't remember exactly when things happened. I promise you, we get those orders into our system immediately, in part so that we don't forget them. It was a fluke of timing that we got in the one book the next day. Had you bothered to give us all your information whenever we'd entered you in the computer, we likely could have let you know that next day what was going on, but no.) Anyway, she bought the one book, accepted that my boss would look into things, and left.

Another couple weeks go by. This time it's a Tuesday; the previous two instances had been on Mondays. She hasn't heard anything about the order. Our regular ordering person is off; I check with the boss, who vaguely remembers the situation but basically passed it on to said ordering person, then forgot all about it. (I think he got cranky about the ordering person not having called the publisher directly about it, but if it's backordered with our supplier, that guarantees to them that we'll take the copies once they come in. Our hands were sort of tied at that point.)

The things to remember about this situation are as follows:
--She'd ordered uncommon books that aren't part of a typical stock.
--She'd ordered multiple copies of said book and only received one, which meant the supplier was out and had to go to the publisher.
--It's a pandemic, where manufacturing has been crippled by all sorts of situations, so it's taking longer to get certain things, particularly when they're not considered essential.
All this caused me to conclude that the publisher likely needed to go to reprint on this book and that was the likely cause of the delay. This is what I told the customer.

This was not what she wanted to hear. So she called our store "fake."

At that point, any sense of trying to reason with her went out the window, as did any pretense of nicety. I have my pleasant customer service voice, which is higher-pitched than my regular speaking voice. (People used to think I was a recording when I answered the phone, so I subconsciously modulated it higher years ago.) Yeah, my voice dropped a good octave, and I'm pretty sure I actually used the words, "Look, lady" as I went to explain things. It got worse from there. She would not let me speak and kept talking over me, repeatedly calling the store "fake," saying our website claimed we had excellent customer service and it was a lie, and she was going to go to Yelp and give us a horrible review, et cetera, et cetera.

This pretty much told me everything I needed to know about her. I did take her name and number and passed it along to the boss, who then threw the note away. This is one of those customers where you want to cut your losses. Yes, please go darken someone else's doorstep. You're exactly the person online ordering is made for.

In the meantime, speaking of online ordering, my coworker--the same one who'd taken the initial order--decided to look the book up on Amazon. They wouldn't even have it in stock until the following Sunday at the earliest. That was pretty much vindication to me, that no, this book really and truly wasn't available and likely did have to go back to reprint.

At last check, we did not get the other two books in and we canceled the order with our supplier. This customer has not contacted us again as far as I'm aware. We're perfectly okay with that.

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Between orchestra being online and our brutal winter cold snap, we've seen our share of orchestral strings needing to be tuned. Several times a week, we'll get a run on them. Sometimes it's cello day; one day in February, it was violin day.

The first family came in, and their situation was pretty simple; they were in and out in a few minutes. As I tuned the violin, the mom asked me, do I have to come in every month to get this tuned? I said, until you learn how to tune it at home, possibly. The mom looked at her daughter, a beginner, and went, I don't think she's tuning her own anytime soon. Fair enough. But be prepared to stop by on the regular.

Right after they left, another family came in, this time a father with a daughter. In this case, one of the strings broke and needed replacement. I noticed it was an internet special violin, oh goody, but it had high-quality strings at least. I replaced the busted string, the D, and went to tune the rest. I then noticed the G string was looking worn, like it was starting to unravel. I mentioned it to the dad, who said to go ahead and replace it since they were there.

I grabbed a new string off the wall and tried to put it on. The bottom part, wrapped in thread, would not go inside the fine tuner. This was late enough in the day that my string tech had already gone home; otherwise I'd have called him up. But, it's weird, this string absolutely will not fit in this fine tuner. I'm not sure how they managed to get the previous string in there.

Somehow I noticed the fine tuner for the E string--it looked to be three times wider than the string itself. Sir, I think these fine tuners have been switched around. Personally, I had never noticed a difference in the sizes of fine tuners, but then again the internet specials do their own things. Now I find myself undoing the fine tuners so I can switch them around. I put the former-E one into the slot for the G fine tuner; the string now fits comfortably. Phew. Then I go to move the former-G one to where it will fit for the E string…and it won't slide in. The hole for the screw part is not wide enough. Hmm, I think I see why those fine tuners were swapped.

It takes a moment, but I manage to twist the thinner fine tuner into the hole. I then attempt to put it back together, but I'm not sure I did so; it seemed a little wonky, like I screwed part of it on a bit crooked, but I couldn't get it to go on any other way. It did seem secure in the hole, and the string stayed on so that wasn't a problem. Way too long later, I was able to finish tuning the violin and I got the family on its way. Oy. This is what happens when I attempt to be a tech.

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thoughtful

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In mid-January, I got a phone call from a woman. She had brought in her guitar the prior week to get it restrung and tuned, and it appeared to need tuning again as it didn't sound right to her ears. She thought that was odd. I said, that's not uncommon for string instruments in January. We're in the Midwest. Weather fluctuations will do that. Also, if it's something where you picked up your guitar, put it in your trunk, and then drove around running errands before returning home, that could affect your tuning as well. Oh, the woman said, in a way that made me wonder if that's what had happened. She said she would be in shortly to have it re-tuned.

While I was on the phone, another woman was in picking up her son's guitar from getting looked at. She'd heard my conversation, including the part about running errands. She went, I guess I'm not going to buy pants right now! I'll have to take the guitar home! Yes, sorry. Instruments need to be treated like children and pets--don't leave them in the car when it's cold or hot. They're temperature-sensitive, especially if they're wooden or have strings. We have violins hanging on the wall, and we can hear them go "neeerrrt" as the strings contract and unfurl from the pegs; it's why we have humidifiers running this time of year.

Within an hour, the first woman came in. I recognized the guitar right away, as it's a classical and therefore has nylon strings. When my string tech came up to talk to her, she had asked how often the guitar was going to go out of tune. He'd strummed it and clearly it was off. He told her, you really should get your own tuner, because right now, it's going to go out of tune regularly. Nylon strings are more susceptible to the weather than steel. He showed her his tuner and she went with that same style as it was easy to read.

This is something all string players should know: Your instrument is not a Ronco rotisserie. You do not set it and forget it; you need to check your tuning regularly, sometimes every time you play it. The orchestra students in this area are not taught how to tune their instruments for several years; the teachers do it in class. Except right now, with the pandemic and kids learning from home, they're not getting that face-to-face time they'd normally get. We're seeing families on a regular basis coming in to have their instruments tuned. I get it, and I don't mind, but it's really frustrating that the teachers purposely aren't teaching them this information. The kids are even getting told not to touch their pegs and to only use their fine tuners if they must. That…doesn't help hardly anything when a string is more than a half-step off, plus I'll often see the fine tuners cranked all the way down. The pegs can be difficult to work with since they're pressure-fit, but most parents should be able to handle it if they're shown what to do. Once you get the hang of it, a tuning device works well. Otherwise, during normal times, orchestra teachers spend half of a lesson simply tuning instruments. What good does that do? Teach a man to fish, people.

(Back to the second guitar lady--she was bummed that she'd have to go home because she thought she had a window to go pants shopping and now didn't, and she'd started a new job and really needed more pants, and she kept having to run errands for family members, and this was just one more frustration for her. I felt kind of bad. Then she apologized for spilling her guts to us, but we just laughed and said we were the music store and therapy session. It was fine.)

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My boss is a professional musician. He has his own group and they recently put out a CD. It has gotten some airplay on a local radio station, and since several of my coworkers are involved, they get very excited to hear the songs on the radio, especially when it's one they hadn't yet heard play. We have some of the CDs on display; a customer noticed one recently, and I mentioned that you could tell whenever one of the group's songs was on the radio, because all the band members would stop what they were doing and come stand in front of the speakers to listen. Sure enough, shortly after I said that, here came my coworkers to stand around and listen to themselves on the radio. (It had been a song they'd not yet heard already, so they were excited about that.)

Some of our acquaintances also have put out CDs over the years. When you work at a music store, you know a lot of musicians; their creating their own CDs is not a surprise. However, some of them…really shouldn't. One such person came in at the start of the year to give his new CD to the boss, and to ask if he'd do a trade. The boss was at lunch at the time, and I didn't feel I had the authority to give his CD away, but I said I'd leave a note for when he returned.

Here's the thing about this particular person: He's infamous around our store. He's the guy who will come try out horns for an hour and a half and only play high notes. I won't say what instrument, only that it's one that can play into the stratosphere--and to this guy, that's apparently all he thinks it plays. Anyone who has ever heard him struggle to hit those high notes knows that he does not have that range and he does not sound good overall.

My boss did call the guy back, and they were talking about getting their CDs on the radio. My boss had worked with a company, which helped him send his CD all over the country. At that point, it was up to the individual stations to decide if they thought the album was good enough. Apparently the other guy has gotten *no* airplay and wondered what the trick was. My boss didn't have the heart to tell him, you have to sound good first. Every song on the CD had a solo by this guy. It's his band; he can choose what he wants to do with it. But if, frankly, you're a crappy player, every song is going to sound crappy. I don't know how long it took the guy to record or engineer the CD, but I know it took my boss months in post-production to get it where he liked it, including going back and re-recording a few things where necessary. He put out a product he was proud of and that he would want to listen to, and the people who have heard it have all been positive.

Several of my coworkers have heard this guy's CD, or at least a part of it. It was bad enough that my boss only played us a few notes of one of the songs and then he had to turn it off. My boss had played the same song on a gig and had a video of it; even that way, where it wasn't produced and was played live, it was leaps and bounds better because the musicianship on it was better. His players work hard at what they do and don't simply play high notes because they're there; they play with tone and fullness and the other ways that make sounds pleasing to the ear. That concept passed this guy by. Which is why radio stations are passing him by.

Addendum: I wrote this up a month or two before posting. In the meantime, the guy's CD has gotten airplay--and, conveniently, he's also sponsoring an ad on the radio station. Well, at least he figured out a way to get his music on the air. Funny, I only heard him once or twice and that was it.

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mood

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One afternoon, a dad and his son came in. The son had broken his clarinet mouthpiece and they needed to replace it. I showed them what we had--a basic, cheap mouthpiece kit, plus two intermediate mouthpieces. Because the kid had just dropped his, the dad decided to go with the basic kit. From experience, I know that the cork on those mouthpieces is super thick; it's meant to be sanded down before use so that you can fit it to any barrel. I told the dad he'd likely need to take sandpaper to it to get it to the right thickness. They paid and left.

An hour later, I see them walking back into the store. Oh, dear, why are you back? They held up the mouthpiece they'd just bought, where instead of having dad try to sand down the cork, the kid just tried to shove it in his barrel--and the cork came off completely. The dad was fully prepared to buy the other basic mouthpiece kit, but I took pity on them; after talking it over with my boss, we agreed to simply swap it out, as our repair tech could re-cork the other mouthpiece and we could put it back on display. The dad was very grateful for that, then asked if we could sand the mouthpiece down. It was five minutes 'til close, but my tech agreed to do it. He got it to a good thickness--still a little tight, but it'll compress over time.

I took it back to the father and son to show them that it fit properly, and that the tech also made sure to grease it up, and because it's a new mouthpiece I suggested the player grease it regularly at least to start. Guess what--no cork grease in the case. So they didn't get away without spending some money on that second trip, but a tube of cork grease was far cheaper than another mouthpiece.