Whew...that was a close one.
I think I'll just decide to not take everything so seriously as I used to. That seems to be the only thing that puts me in a bad mood these days (taking things too seriously).
All the Old Stories tell me that Trickster would often make mistakes or run into obstacles and either simply move on or just overcome them. He wasn't the type to sit there and be upset about either of them. So if I'm going to embrace my niche in this world, as Trickster, following the Way of the Spider, then I'll have to do the same.
We DO all make a choice as to how to respond and it seems I'd forgotten that in the past. Last night, if I would have brooded and sat there in my room in a rage, I would have never gotten the work done on the "Nature Boy" comic that I needed to get out of the way. Nor would I have acquired a sheet of "DC Superheroes" stamps. I LOVE "The Verona", it really is quite therapeutic.
I don't know how I'll ever manage to understand why I can be myself around so many people and be Loved, but when I am myself around the majority of my family, especially my mother, I am perceived as "wrong", "selfish", "not right". It all makes me believe that they've done me some great wrong and are waiting for the moment I throw it all back in their faces. Even worse, they're expecting me to but don't realize that it's not my style to do anything that way.
Maybe, that means it's time to start over again or perhaps it means I HAVE already begun starting over. All it took was a return to "The Source" and the realization of what "The Source" actually is to set me straight. Now here I am with a comic book in the works (Nature Boy concept sketch complete) and two jobs waiting for me with Environmental Groups. There is content...I actually feel satisfied knowing I actually WILL be able to do both. All of this came much faster than I suspected...I LOVE it!
Praise the Spithra.
All the Old Stories tell me that Trickster would often make mistakes or run into obstacles and either simply move on or just overcome them. He wasn't the type to sit there and be upset about either of them. So if I'm going to embrace my niche in this world, as Trickster, following the Way of the Spider, then I'll have to do the same.
We DO all make a choice as to how to respond and it seems I'd forgotten that in the past. Last night, if I would have brooded and sat there in my room in a rage, I would have never gotten the work done on the "Nature Boy" comic that I needed to get out of the way. Nor would I have acquired a sheet of "DC Superheroes" stamps. I LOVE "The Verona", it really is quite therapeutic.
I don't know how I'll ever manage to understand why I can be myself around so many people and be Loved, but when I am myself around the majority of my family, especially my mother, I am perceived as "wrong", "selfish", "not right". It all makes me believe that they've done me some great wrong and are waiting for the moment I throw it all back in their faces. Even worse, they're expecting me to but don't realize that it's not my style to do anything that way.
Maybe, that means it's time to start over again or perhaps it means I HAVE already begun starting over. All it took was a return to "The Source" and the realization of what "The Source" actually is to set me straight. Now here I am with a comic book in the works (Nature Boy concept sketch complete) and two jobs waiting for me with Environmental Groups. There is content...I actually feel satisfied knowing I actually WILL be able to do both. All of this came much faster than I suspected...I LOVE it!
Praise the Spithra.