For the most part, people have good intentions. We generally want to be kind, responsible, and respected by our communities (at least, once our own personal needs are met). We have worthy goals and dreams for how to make life better. Yet, we all know that doesn’t always work out. We struggle with our impulses and willpower. We break our New Year’s resolutions as soon as we set them. We say one thing, then find ourselves doing another. This is true of individuals, but also for teams, communities, and organizations. Why does this happen, and what can we do about it?
Intentions are an important part of what makes us human. All sorts of animals set goals and make plans, but they’re usually very basic, short-term intentions, like “I’m gonna eat that bug.” In most species, lifestyle is largely innate, defined by genetics and the environment with only limited flexibility. Humans are different in that we design our lifestyles, both as individuals and as a society. We set abstract, long-term intentions like “I’m gonna save up for college” or “all people in this company should have equal opportunity.” These ambitious visions can help us imagine possible futures, and guide us to make them a reality.
It’s easy to set good intentions and stop there. Sometimes that’s enough, but often it’s not. Those delayed goals can be tricky for our animal minds, after all. I meant to pick up eggs on my way home, but I forgot. I know I ought to make a healthy dinner, but I’m exhausted, so I’ll order pizza. I said I’d learn Japanese, but maybe I was just kidding myself. I wanted to build a shed in the backyard, but I didn’t really know how, so it never got started. When one of my female engineers at work was criticized unfairly, I thought I was being supportive when I swooped in to defend her. When she pointed out how I was preventing her from proving herself, I had to unlearn that habit. In each of these cases, I meant well, yet I fell short.
This highlights some of the key problems with intentions. They aren’t rules that the brain enforces. If I keep my intentions in mind, I might notice when they should affect my decisions, and act accordingly. Or I might not. Like all people, I spend a lot of time on auto-pilot. I often get tired or distracted. I make countless choices in a day I’m not even aware of. Then there’s willpower. Just because I know I ought to do the right thing, doesn’t mean I will after a long and frustrating day. Lastly, intentions don’t come with step-by-step instructions. It’s often not clear how to achieve my goals, so I have to think about the steps involved, what my options are, and what outcomes are likely. Even if I do everything right, reality doesn’t always play along. I have to watch to make sure things turn out the way I intended, and respond when they don’t.
At their best, intentions serve as a frame for thinking and planning. They’re a first step in a process that leads to an outcome. To improve the chances of success, I must design that process. I must compensate for my cognitive blind spots and mitigate the risk of accidents and surprises. This is a form of self-programming. What can I do now to shape my future behavior? How do I make sure I get into the right situations and avoid the wrong ones? How will I notice when that happens? Can I prepare so that I know what to do in the moment, and have everything I need to act? How will I know if my plan is working, and change course if I need to?
I’ve found there are two essential tools for this sort of planning:
- Write and revisit. Intentions are often too vague to be useful. They can be easy to forget, and can drift over time without our notice. To remedy this, I write my intentions down. When possible, I share them with others to make sure I’m rigorous about it, and to create a sense of accountability. Then I set a reminder to revisit those intentions in a few weeks or months. I try to be brutally honest with myself. Am I living up to my expectations? Do I still think about the problem in the same way? If not, I try not to feel guilty, but instead focus on what to do about it. What’s wrong? Should I change my behavior? My intentions? Both? I force myself to think about this.
- Prepare yourself. When I set intentions, I think through how to achieve them. Not in full detail, but at least I’ll identify a few major sub-goals that are essential for success. I think about when and how I might do those things, and create some structure around that to make it real. I write TODO lists and set time aside for specific tasks. I leave notes or physical reminders in the real world to nudge me at crucial moments. I think about what decisions I’ll have to make, and how to make them. This is a way of front-loading the effort, doing the thinking and willpower work when I have time for it. That way, when the crucial moment comes, my actions can be fully automatic.
Critically, these two things go hand in hand. Writing down my intentions doesn’t help much if I don’t take some action to ensure they happen. Similarly, making a plan and following it rigorously can be a disaster if it’s the wrong goal, the wrong plan, or if the situation changes. The benefit comes from cycling through these two modes of thinking regularly. What should I do? How should I do it? Is it working? What should I do next?
The same problems appear in teams, communities, and organizations, often amplified dramatically. Aligning intentions across many people is very hard, and aligning behaviors is impossible. Each person has their own motivations, and is gifted and fallible in their own unique ways. To be fully effective, they must set their own intentions, and find their own ways to reliably achieve them. Many leaders are good at setting intentions for their groups, but struggle to make them happen. Sometimes they just say what they want to accomplish and assume everyone gets it and will (somehow) make it happen without any guidance or coordination. Other times they micromanage, trying to force people to deliver by robbing them of their autonomy.
I lead others the same way I lead myself. I just apply the concepts at different levels of abstraction. As a leader, my main responsibility is to keep intentions fresh in my team’s minds and to encourage each individual to be productive in their own way. Rather than telling people what to do and how to do it, I make sure my team has policies and tools to help with common challenges. This gives them freedom and flexibility, but also reduces their burden in the moment and encourages consistency. I create timelines, schedule check-ins, and set reminders in the right time and place. I often don’t care about the timing, I just want to give folks a nudge when they need it, and encourage them to prioritize, pace themselves, and track their own progress. Every quarter, we revisit our intentions together and try to think: are these still the right goals? Is our approach working? Is there a better way?
What makes humans so remarkable is our flexibility. We work creatively within constraints, figuring out the details as we go along. Intentions are a powerful tool for doing that, but they’re just part of the story. Acting intentionally, either as a person or as a group, is about creating the conditions for success. It’s not enough to want something. We’re just animals, after all. We can’t see the future, we can’t be “on” all the time, and it’s very easy to get distracted or to deceive ourselves. If we embrace our limitations, we can try to work around them and do better. Or, at least we can forgive ourselves more easily when we inevitably let that New Year’s resolution slip.
What do you think? Have you sometimes struggled to live up to your own intentions? Do you have any advice for how to overcome that? What about in the work setting? Have you noticed any practices that make a team / company better or worse at living up to their own ideals? I’d love to hear from you in the comments.