i haven't used this is soooo long.
mainly because i couldn't remember my password and it took a good 3 years to remember.
not to mention it's an old e-mail also.
yay for me.

the lj is back and large and in chaaaaarge.

it's been a while.

things are good.

working two jobs, chillin' with my posse, still seeing jay.

same things i've been doing for the past 2 years.

you know, life is nice.

like... red beans and rice(?).

and i never post in this.

just thought i'd let my lj folk know i'm still alive and breathing.

i hopped on the myspace train a long time ago. (cellophanesmiles)

i got a new s/n. oceansforeyes. im me, whores.

love you all.

uh oh... posting.

i'm just the wonderful rachel dye's house, and stole her computer for a minute.

things are good, could be better, but good nevertheless.

myspace makes people seem so desperate and pathetic. it's hilarious.

i have a new car. well, sort of new. but means of transportation. sweet.

so all the people that called me and i couldn't hang out because of the whole car deal, call me now. hardy har.

that's all i have time for. have to go get my present for colby. wooooo. he loves me.

rachel rocks.

and i love still my jaspa'. (like you didn't expect that.)

imotherfuckinghatemylife.

eh. i made a mini-entry and figured what the hell, why not write a whole one for the time in ages?

but lately all i've done nothing but mope, and cry, and whine, and go through the whole depression shit again, which i don't care to elaborate on. so honestly, you've really missed out on a whole bunch of NOTHING.

and to the very few (the proud, the marines) that have been there for me AGAIN, oh my god, i fucking adore you. you know who you are.<3.

yep. in funnier news, shea's got a stalker. i'll never make that stupid ass mistake again.

i'm so broke right now, it's not even funny in the slightest. and yeah, i know what you're thinking. 'no money for gas, or cigs.' SIKE. i owe quite a few thousand to disclosed places/things. stick a fork in me, b/c i'm FUUUUCKED. (thought i'd say done, didn't ya'? ...bitches.)

kristy elizabeth is a fucking whore. A FUCKING WHORE. eat my vagina, you bitch-ass cuntrag-smelling fucktard.

mountain dew and cigarettes are the only thing nourishing my body nowadays. isn't that craptacular?

i miss rachel.

and i especially miss a certain person who shall not be named. but god knows i'm fucking slowly letting myself go/driving myself insane without them. i don't think they even know the measure of what i'm going through. not that it would make a difference...

and again, on a happier note, i hit up wal-mart at 12 on the dot to get the new harry potter. i'm 3/4 done with it, and i cream myself with every muthafuckin' page.

only a certain amount of people that i hold near and dear call me anymore. in case the rest of you forgot my number, it's 1-800-fuck-you ext. fornotcallingmemoutherfuckers.

i'm to the point where i'm repeating myself, so i'll end this now.

 

p.s. fyi, kristy really is a bitch-ass cuntrag-smelling fucktard. really. jacob told me. <3.

I love shea. She is one of the strongest people I've ever known. and you really have to know her to know that. I was always in Awe of her. she has always been my rock. I love her more than she'll ever know.

cue emotional breakdown.

i love you for that more than you'll ever know.

i'm at a loss for words.

it's funny how a long, drawn-out period of perfection can be ruined in a minute's time.

it never fails to stab me in the back like this, when it's least expected and can do the most damage.

let's just get together and cross our fingers that people stay true to their promises, for once.

note to self: never listen to box car racer when extremely depressed. i'm finding that it has same effect as emo bobby hill, which isn't a very healthy one AT ALL.

 

'but if i could, oh god i would, spend my days with you....'

oh god, i feel an emo entry coming on. save yourself.

i hate having to admit i need things/people. and i have a feeling that's exactly what i'm going to have to say.

and don't you hate it when you find the most random thing that someone wrote and it's just something small, and most people wouldn't give it a second thought, but it irks you that they have the audacity to put it there for you to see? yeah. and i know it doesn't pertain to me, and that's precisely why it upsets me so.

so what do i do? i take down the things that makes me happiest and repeatedly stare at them. b/c sometimes it feels like that they're all i have anymore. times like tonight.

....do i have to beg?

so i had a good weekend. i suppose. some parts were better than others.

worked all day/night friday, got off, came home and got some shit, and went to jay's house. didn't go to sleep until about 5, woke up so many times, to his cousin talking, to andy asking if he could have a pop tart, etc. we left his house around 10 and stopped at hardee's to eat and then went to columbus. saw his mommy, drove around, went to the mall with chris, went back to see his mommy, ate at church's, and made out way back home. but not before jay got another speeding ticket. fuck x5830917. >:(

it wasn't until the next morning that i realized that somehow, the whole 'j.h. a& s.m.' thingy on my window that jay wrote on it was all fucked up and smeared and shit. so, to the motherfucker that did that, fuck you. don't EVER lay a finger on my goddamn car. b/c fucking with the protege = certain death.

well, i'm off to get ready for leandra's birthday dinner and whatnot. i already probably am going to be late. and if i have to drive to effin' headland, i'm definitely fercked. so i best get to hoppin'. love to all.