Parker is a thief, and has been since childhood. She was semi-adopted and personally trained from age twelve by a man known as 'the world's greatest thief,' and specializes in pickpocketing, safecracking, and bypassing or thwarting security systems of all types - the more high-tech and complicated your security measures are, the more she's going to want to go up against them.

She tends towards the cat burglar side of things - she's more likely to sneak into your house in the dead of night and be gone before you wake than demand your wallet and jewelry at gunpoint. (There's no skill in that!) She loves tasing people, and has recently discovered the joys of chloroform, but will not try to kill you.

If you would like your character to have an encounter with Parker in her role as a thief, please comment here. Maybe you have something especially shiny or expensive in your apartment, maybe you're wandering around Sacrosanct carrying potentially interesting computer parts or stuff you picked up from the junkyard. Maybe she's bored and wants to break into your military fortress just to see if she can do it.

I won't do any of these things without permission; godmodding is no fun and, since I'm unfamiliar with 90% of the canons represented here, I'd like a chance to discuss our characters' relative strengths and weaknesses, and whether Parker could plausibly get away with whatever she'd like to do, or if she'd be caught redhanded by your hardcore and very unamused soldier character.

LET'S HAVE SOME FUN.:D

Anonymous on, screening on, ip logging off, you know the drill.

This is a brand new muse so please don't hesitate if anything seems inconsistent or needs improvement!

[When the feed starts, it's audio only. The first voice belongs to a certain blonde thief with whom the listener might or might not be acquainted; the second, to one of Sacrosanct's resident space marines. There appears to be some sort of disagreement.]

But it's not true!

It doesn't matter! It was a bet, and you lost. Besides, whether or not it's true isn't the point.

But I don't want to! He's not even the right one!

[There's a sigh, and a slight pause, before the video turns on and Ashley shoves Parker in front of the camera, rolling her eyes and trying not to grin.]

Just get it over with, okay? Come on, it won't be that bad.

[Parker gives an extremely exasperated sigh, rolling her eyes.]

Okay. Fine.

[She focuses on the camera, starting to speak. It's stilted and in a complete monotone.]

Hello, Sacrosanct. My name is -

[She stops, turning to hiss urgently at Ashley.] Do I have to use my real name?

[Ashley just smirks and raises her eyebrows, leaning casually against the wall, and after a moment (and a dirty look) Parker turns around and continues.]

Hello Sacrosanct. My name is Parker, and I am here today to proclaim -

[She pauses, glancing down, and it's clear that she's reading some kind of script.]

I am here....to proclaim...my burning lust for -

[HEAVY SIGH.]

John Shepard.

[She stops again, and when she continues she's speaking much faster, breaking away from the script.]

The one who isn't Jane. The one who's a fake! He's an imposter! You can't get away with this forever, John. You can't hide the tr-

[Her voice increases in pitch and volume as she continues, and as she yells Ashley runs up to her and tries to pull her out of range of the camera. There's a scuffle, and in the process the wearable's video button is knocked against the floor, ending the feed.]

[GOOD EVENING SACROSANCT HOW ARE YOU TODAY.

Parker is looking extremely serious. She's in an unrecognizable location, with a lot of papers strewn about and a bank of computers behind her. She checks to make sure the video is recording, and then addresses the camera, leaning forward intently.]

Everyone! Listen carefully. I don't know how long I have before my location is discovered, so I may only be able to say this once.

[She glances back over her shoulder, as if in fear, then back to the camera.]

Citizens of Sacrosanct. There is...[dramatic pause] an imposter among us.

[A picture of this guy appears on the screen.]

This...person is claiming to be Commander Shepard, of the Normandy SR-2. As you all know, Commander Shepard is a trusted and long-time member of the community.

[AND HAVE A PIC OF FEMSHEP.]

Strangely enough, despite her crew's claims of loyalty to their commander, no one among them seems to be questioning whether this new arrival is even telling the truth. They have given this 'Commander Shepard' [airquotes] full access to their secret base and all of its...secrets.

[...yes. She meant to say that. Parker hesitates, blinking at the camera for a moment, and then pushes on forward.]

Well, you know what, Sacrosanct? I'm not quite so willing to just trust anybody falling into the junkyard claiming to be someone else. I did a little investigating of my own, and I have uncovered some really shocking evidence that this person is not who they claim to be. That's right, Commander.

[And now she's addressing him directly.]

You thought no one could see you in there, didn't you? You thought it was the one place where you could drop the act and show your true colors with no reprisal. Well. You were wrong. I saw everything.

[She pauses, just staring at the screen for a second to let the full implications of her words sink in. Yes. She means everything.]

Citizens of Sacrosanct. Trust me on this one. This is not Commander Shepard. In fact -

[She leans close to the screen.]

He is not even a woman.

[And she leans back again, with a significant look.]