I’m doing fairly well and managing the walk each day.

Most days I manage very well . Other times it is a challenge.

I am doing it to raise money for the Dementia UK charity to provide Admiral nurses to support families living with Dementia.

Many thanks to all who have supported me so far

Tomorrow I will start walking a kilometer a day for the month of February.

I’m hoping to raise money to support the

Alzheimer’s Society in their aim to develop research into Dementia.

How to live later life well

It is hard to believe that it is 18 months since I moved from a bungalow to a 2 bed apartment in an MHA apartment block.

The title above is the motto of the Methodist Homes Association.

Residents should be able to live without need of assistance with the option of joining in activities and outings.

Most people meet these criteria when they move in but as time passes various health conditions make life a little more challenging and they find themselves in need of care.

Mobility is the biggest problem bringing the need for walking sticks or walking frames and rollators!!

The majority of my neighbours are friendly happy folks who are always ready to chat about anything and everything. Most of them have had interesting jobs, are well travelled and have families.

Several have told me that they had little choice in the matter of moving here! Their family made the decision for them!!! Some have handed all their financial affairs over to family having set up POA. In spite of this they all agree it was the best thing they had ever done!!!!

Post script

I have now begun my 3rd year here

and since October I have moved into a smaller apartment

I have also been widowed and have given up driving.

Life is very different and a little more challenging.

A couple of days ago I took it into my head to write another episode in my Blog.

I spent at least an hour rambling on about the fact that I had been living at The Maples for nearly 18 months and wondered how that amount of time had whooshed by.

Realising that it was almost 6pm I decided to save what I had written and I pressed a link which I thought would save the draft. That was a mistake as I discovered when I came to continue my musings! It had disappeared forever!!

So here I am again. Not really able to pick up where I left off as memory does not serve me well at times.

Here at the Maples life is full of laughter, busy with a variety of activities and outings!! There is always someone to chat with about anything and everything.

Monday mornings there is almost always a quiz…….last week the questions were about Elephants as the Activities lady had discovered that it was National Elephant day!!! The questions and answers evoked a great deal of laughter.

Tuesday afternoon there is a Bingo session!! A new resident asked a well established neighbour if you needed to be intelligent to play he replied ‘not at all, that is why Brenda and I play!’

Thursday afternoon we have Fellowship led by an excellent Chaplain. Once a month on Friday afternoon there is a Play reading session or a Film. All these activities are optional and are usually well supported.

The Mobile Library calls once a month and there is a courtesy bus Wednesday and Friday which offers a ride to the city centre or a local shopping outlet with Boots ,Tesco, Holland and Barrett and an M&S foodhall plus much more .

I am fortunate enough to be still able to drive and so I am often out and about and can visit family in the local area.

MHA are my Landlord and the staff here are amazing. Many of the residents have mobility challenges. Several need personal care some do not leave their apartments at all.Sadly two or three are showing signs of Dementia. However almost everyone makes the best of things and love to have a laugh.

I am happy enough here and have a ‘Happy mask’ on most of the time but inwardly I have a broken heart. I visit my beloved regularly (He is in Care living with Dementia) and he no longer knows me and seldom responds to photos or videos of family or music that I know he loved to play or listen to.

I have also come to realise that I have to take off my ‘happy mask’ and tell my children how I really feel. Not an easy task which requires humility.

Well I think that’s about all for now. This weekend I am being kidnapped by our son Sean and his wife and taken to Nottingham for a few days. I will get to see their family and also our eldest Son Liam and his wife and girls.

Moving house

bubble wrap and boxes

phone calls to make

forms to complete

and Christmas!!!

I’m finding it all a bit daunting.

Having been admonished by eldest son to ‘Ask for help Mother’

I have done so but in one quarter have been left feeling like ‘The little red hen’

in Scholastic Early Readers!!!

Ok I know Christmas is on the horizon and they have their own lives to live.

Get on with it girl!!

The reason for all this activity??

Having thought about it for months I finally decided Sheltered Housing was for me.

I knew there was a good place not too far away so booked a visit and was shown round.

There were Studio flats and one and two bed apartments and so beautifully appointed.

The Ethos of the house was welcoming and homely. I took home an application form and completed it that evening. After a month or so I was offered a 2 bed apartment which had become available and quickly took it up and paid my first month’s rent in advance. (they are like gold dust)

At the end of November it seemed great but I had overlooked the fact that Christmas was on the horizon.

Another hazard to contend with was the extreme cold weather and Postal strikes which held up important mail. lists of organisations to notify of a change of address or finish membership and cancel direct debits.

so frustrating too was the fact that if you actually got through when you rang you were given a message or directed to www………..where you found there wasn’t a link for your query!!!

but on I went, booking removers ,hiring an Estate agent, making appointments with Photographers…….and starting to pack!!

My conservatory is now full of boxes!!!but there still seems much to do..The house doesn’t go on the market until Boxing Day and my move is booked for Jan7th………..don’t worry says my daughter there’s plenty of time to sort things after New Year’s day (she and her family seem to be entertaining and partying until then!)

To be fair she has taken me shopping for furniture when she has been free to do so. Three days a week she is Child minder and Nanny to her two grandchildren and most weekends she and her husband are away visiting family and friends.

I just feel I need to have someone around….Missing my poor John so much. He is well and seems happy and he is well cared for but does not know me now.

Sitting with a small glass of Croft Sherry listening to a beautiful Concert on Classic FM

Hey ho!

It’s the 6th of June, the skies are grey, it’s raining as it did almost all day yesterday and it’s cold!!! Trousers and jumpers are the order of the day while Summer dresses hang in the wardrobe.

Other parts of the country enjoyed sunshine and there was a Carnival atmosphere almost everywhere. Everyone was celebrating the Queen’s Platinum Jubilee.

I watched it all on TV envying all those folks having a great time with friends and family.

In the week coming up to the celebrations I felt as though someone had pulled the plug on me.

News from the Team Leader at my Husband’s home was distressing and it dragged me down. So much so that I couldn’t face my fortnightly singing group.

John is just a shadow of himself……he is no longer the funny happy man I lived and loved and laughed with for more than 60 years. I visit and sit with him, playing music that he used to play on his accordion.I show him photos that he took whilst we holidayed in different places. I share videos of the Gt grand children. Sometimes he smiles sometimes he says that the music is good .He doesn’t seem to know who I am.

All this leaves me feeling drained….I try to get on on with things but my heart isn’t in it. I know I am not alone feeling this way…..there are many others out there in the same situation but that doesn’t make me feel better.

I looked in the mirror the other day and saw a tired old lady and felt sad.

after writing all that It disappeared!!!!I thought it must be a sign so I decided to get on and do some house work! An hour later and coffee brewing and several rooms vacuumed and spiders evicted I am pleased to say I found the above so my time wasn’t wasted .

Skies are clearing a little, washing is done, bedroom is tidied……coffee should be ready

so now I can visit my Husband!!!

only 30 minutes booked in advance, preceded by a lateral flow test a 30 minute wait for the result and completion of a long form on my phone giviing details of when ,where and why it was done, where I live how old I am etcetc…….when the test result shows negative I can visit.

Then I am asked to don ppe mask gloves and foot covers and am escorted to his room!

My dear Husband of 61 years doesn’t know who I am anymore………it is so long since he has seen me…He is cheerful and asks if I would like a cup of tea. We look at pictures of our family.

He smiles at some of them….thinks a picture of himself is his brother…doesn’t recognise his sons and daughter. I share videos on my phone of our great grandson…that makes him smile too.

I find some of his favourite songs or pieces of music on youtube. He tells me this is good.

We don’t really have a conversation…..it is good to be with him but very sad.

I have lost him.

In 2004 my Husband retired and I whisked him off to New Zealand for 21 days We met some wonderful people who were generous friendly and very welcoming. We toured North and south island seeing many beautiful sights.

It was early in the year so we escaped the low temperatures and lowering grey skies that characterise January and February here.

The following few years we escaped again to Madeira and Tenerife and finally we went to Florida for a month either February or March. This is where we met up with some wonderful ‘Snow Birds’ and also linked up with some we already knew through educational exchanges.

We stayed in an Arty ‘Village’ called Gulfport a few miles from St Petersburg (Yes in Florida across from Tampa)One day whilst taking a bus ride we met up with a couple who turned out to be friendly Canadians from New Brunswick who travel south every Winter to escape the snow.

They invited us to join them for coffee and it turned out that they were musicians! One a fiddler the other a guitarist with a great interest in Irish Music which went down well with my Husband who was also a musician who played piano accordion!!

Throughout our stay they invited us to join several Social gatherings with lots of their friends who were also ‘Snowbirds’ There was plenty of music and lots of wonderful food all home made as everyone was staying in rented property ‘home from home’….something which they do year on year and generally for three or four months!!.

We also met up for a meal and walks with the couple I knew from my teaching days when we had a Canadian Headteacher on exchange in my school.

Our last visit to Florida was in 2013 and on reflection I recall aspects of my Husband’s behaviour which were signs of things not being quite right with him. Reluctance to join in activities with large groups of people was one and it is only with hindsight that I recognise the signs of what was to come.

Our last escape from the winter days was to Dubai in 2014 but we stayed with family and there were no problems evident!!

Ferries crossing Dubai Creek

2015 sadly saw my Husband diagnosed with Alzheimers. No more long haul trips and only short breaks became the order of the day.

being aware that i need to exercise and watch my weight I am trying to be disciplined and do a you tube Walk a mile for Heart health.

My iphone has an app on it for Health but I have no idea how it works. It is not glued to my person all day long…in fact sometimes I have problems finding it!! I put it down in one room then wander off to do a job and forget where I left it.

I remembered I had a step counter somewhere so that is now hooked onto my waistband.

It is a sunny morning here and I went out and did a bit of gardening, really just to have something in the gardening refuse bin to make it worth emptying next week!! then I decided to go to the greengrocer and the chemist, both of which are just a couple of hundred yards up the road. With a mask on I dodged folk coming towards me crossing the road to ‘stay safe’ and keeping my distance in the queue outside the greengrocer. I noticed that fruit I bought on New years Eve had jumped in price over the w/e!! 26pence up in fact!!!

I remarked that I might have to give up my life of luxury!!!

There is a very clear notice outside the shop….only Three customers at a time inside…..I wonder can everyone see it or read it as many fail to observe it!! Even though I have had my first dose of the Vaccine I am wary of being with other people!!

OOPS…I have just remembered I made my self a coffee..better go and get it before it is cold!!

Do these ramblings count in the Just jot it challenge?