The Incredible Conan


I know it's only January but this gets my vote for YouTube video of the year.

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And now for absolutely no reason, I present to you Johnny Cash singing the theme from "Laverne & Shirley". I only wish he had done the schlemiel, schlimazel bit.

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Dairy Queens of Texas


Georgetown

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5 healthy foods I like
While my love of junk food is well-known e.g. Moon Pies, snowcones, Oreos, chili cheese tater tots, peanut butter anything, etc, there are some relatively healthy foods I do enjoy eating.

pomegranate juice - In the past I've found most juices to be too sweet or too acidic. Pomegranates are neither and are touted by some as a "super food". I haven't gotten X-ray vision yet but I still have a glass most mornings before work.

oatmeal - I've always liked oatmeal whether it's by itself, an ingredient in other foods or pressed into little tiny 'Os. Honey Nut Cheerios and a glass of pomegranate juice makes a fine breakfast.

pickles - Loaded with vitamin C I usually keep a couple of jars on hand both spears and slices. Does Clausen still have those commercials with the stork? I always wondered what a stork knew about pickles.

wheat bread - When I'm making a sandwich 9 out of 10 times I'll use wheat bread. About the only sandwich I use white bread for is peanut butter and jelly.

yams - They're a local favorite not to mention high in fiber and low in sodium and saturated fat. I'm probably not getting their full nutritional value with things like candied yams and yam pies but I think that just speaks to their versatility.

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Here's that "1001 Movies You Need To See Before You Die" list. I really wish they wouldn't address it in those terms. I seriously doubt that anyone's final words on their deathbed will be "Damn it! I forgot to watch Barry Lyndon!" I've seen it and if given a choice I'd probably watch Blazing Saddles for the umpteenth time instead.

( 1001 Movies You Need To See Before You DieCollapse )
There's also the issue that this list only has 974 movies on it. I decided to make a revision and come up with 27 films that I think should be added.

975. Safety Last (1923)
976. Reefer Madness (1936)
977. Godzilla (1955)
978. Yellow Submarine (1968)
979. National Lampoon's Animal House (1978)
980. Tron (1982)
981. The Big Lebowski (1998)
982. Hara Kiri (1955)
983. Escape From New York (1981)
984. The Great Dictator (1940)
985. Battle Royale (2000)
986. Superman The Movie (1978)
987. UHF (1989)
988. Road To Morocco (1942)
989. Plan 9 From Outer Space (1959)
990. L.A. Story (1991)
991. Robocop (1987)
992. Love And Death (1975)
993. Time Bandits (1981)
994. Ed Wood (1994)
995. Master Of The Flying Guillotine (1975)
996. Office Space (1999)
997. The 7th Voyage Of Sinbad (1958)
998. South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut (1999)
999. The Killing (1956)
1000. Oldboy (2003)
1001. Rock 'N' Roll High School (1979)

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Dairy Queens of Texas

Overton

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Writer's Block: Found Objects
a paint-by-numbers painting of The Last Supper

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I was in Big!Lots yesterday buying a power strip when I saw that they now have their very own credit card. I thought that was funny for several reasons. Is there anything at Big!Lots you'd really want to charge or even need to? Do you want to pay 22% interest on a bucketful of gummi worms? I like Big!Lots but I don't think I've ever bought more than $10 worth of stuff there at a time. Instead of a credit card just check your couch cushions for change before you shop.

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Giant Moon Pie Will Mark New Year In Mobile

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I walked past a Salvation Army bell ringer today. She was wearing an orange University of Texas sweatshirt with a bell in one hand and smoking a cigarette with the other. She didn't say "Hello" or "Merry Christmas" just asked me for money. I told her maybe later as the whole scene didn't exactly fill me with holiday cheer.

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I added some new friends today. If you're one of those people and wonder why I added you, it's because I liked your writing or we have friends and interests in common or in kitsch_my_grits' case I just liked your picture of the cat with the chainsaw. I like it when household pets learn to use power tools. Anyway, add me back if you feel like it.

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I heard Adult Swim is holding auditions for a live-action Aqua Teen Hunger Force special. I think I'd make a good Carl since I also share a love for classic rock and cream cheese stuffed jalapenos. The problem is that I'm probably too skinny to play Carl and gaining 50 lbs in two weeks might be unwise from a medical standpoint. Too bad I can't audition for Frylock instead.

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You really have to admire the guy behind Garfield Minus Garfield. He simply removed the main character who hasn't said anything new in 30 years (hates Mondays, loves lasagna, we get it) and turned it into an existential work of genius. The guy's even getting his own book deal out of this. The sad part is that I think I'm much more like Jon Arbuckle than I previously realized. Like Jon I'm probably not too far off from trying to cut my own hair.

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Some of you might be interested to know that Skidoo is playing on Turner Classic Movies tomorrow night. Skidoo is a 60's counter-culture comedy starring Jackie Gleason, Groucho Marx and a ton of other old movie actors desperately trying to be "hip" for the times. Ever wanted to see Ralph Kramden drop acid? Well, here's your chance. It's been described as both a "classic" and "unwatchable" by people in film circles. I've never seen the whole thing just maybe the last 10 minutes while flipping channels. It's never been released on home video as the director of the film's estate thinks it's really that bad. I just thought I'd watch and decide for myself.

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Yamtastic: 80's TV
After much procrastination I've started putting up videos from my collection on my own YouTube channel Yamtastic. I figure it's one way I can preserve parts of my old VHS tapes some of which are over 20 years old and rapidly deteriorating. These first few vids are from that semi-golden era of 80's television.

AL TV 1984

This is from the very first AL TV special promoting his Weird Al Yankovic In 3-D album. Back then he really put some effort into it with tons of comedy bits and sketches in a 4 hour show. The fake commercial is spoofing this old solar-powered headband radio contraption that really did make you look like a jerk.

Nick at Nite promos

Back in the late 80's Nick at Nite had great shows like Get Smart, Dragnet, The Patty Duke Show, etc. instead of the crap they run now. Even the promo spots were funny although these few that I found aren't the best ones they made.

Janeane Garofalo early TV appearance

This may well be Janeane Garofalo's first ever TV appearance as I can't find anything that dates earlier. It's also notable as this may be the only time Janeane performs in a flowery dress and black stockings.

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Here's the weirdest stuff I've found on YouTube, this week anyway.


This is from a Japanese kids show. I haven't seen anything from a Japanese kids show that didn't weird me out.


Here's an Italian disco version of the Mork & Mindy theme.


This is a local TV commercial for a bar called J's Place. It really says a lot about Longview, Texas.

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A new restaurant called "Crazy Buffet" just opened up where I live. I'm not sure what exactly is so crazy about it. Is it their mix of Chinese, American and Italian cuisine? I've seen Chinese food served with doughnuts so I don't think chow mein and spaghetti together is that nutty. Maybe if the tables and chairs were nailed to the ceiling and the servers were llamas who made you eat your food with gardening tools then that might be considered a crazy buffet.

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So what's your favorite rock Christmas song?

The Waitresses "Christmas Wrapping"?


The Ramones "Merry Christmas (I Don't Wanna Fight Tonight)?


The Kinks "Father Christmas"?


Yeah, I gotta go with The Kinks since they're the best band ever and all.

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I watched Tin Man last night the Sci-Fi Channel's "reimagining" of The Wizard Of Oz. Finally, someone decided to take a cue from George Lucas and rape my grandmother's childhood. They've reworked the original story more or less and added in ideas from science fiction movies like Dune, Blade Runner and even Return Of The Jedi. The munchkins are now cutesy little warriors who live up in trees like Ewoks. They also stole a lot from Tim Burton as the scarecrow looks a lot like Edward Scissorhands only he has a zipper on top of his head. Oz now called the O.Z. is one of those steampunk universes where the most sophisticated technology is powered by coiled springs and vacuum tubes. It's a six hour mini-series but I'm not sure I can watch all of this. I could handle the part about the munchkins and I didn't even flinch when Uncle Henry and Auntie Em turned out to be robots but when flying monkeys came out of a tattoo on the Wicked Witch's breasts I cracked up.

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I got another Fingerhut catalog in the mail today. I swear I've never ordered anything from them but they keep sending me catalogs anyway. I used to think Fingerhut was the ghetto version of Skymall but they actually carry some of the exact same items at the same prices. For example, here's the Teac CD Recorder Turntable at Fingerhut while here's the same thing at Skymall both priced at $399. Of course you could get the same CD recorder turntable at Amazon for $267.88 shipping included. I guess despite appearances with Fingerhut and Skymall that one is more upscale than the other you're still getting ripped off either way.

And while I'm not a huge gamer I thought this Virtual NES library was kinda neat. You can play over 600 old Nintendo games and never have to blow into any cartridges.

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