temptmysoul- March 16th, 2011
im hanging on by a thread, gripping so tightly, watching my knuckles turn white. im trying so hard not to let go, although i know i can't hold on much longer. i know if i let go, i'll fall and hit the ground with a force so hard i might shatter. no one will be there to catch me, and i grip tighter at that thought. i dont wanna break into thousands of tiny shards, sharper than a mirror, and not able to be glued back together. i feel hopeless, and i start to slide down that thread, catching myself before i let go completely. its such a pure thread, giving off a pearly white color, beautiful. its pure, just like our feelings for each other, so adolescent and naive. as i think about our past, i smile. then remember im the only one holding onto this little piece of string that ties us to one another. i look up and see you're not there with me, and the agony is almost entirely unbearable, worse than if you had cut me from that string halfway down. i smile through the tears and pain, and i let myself detach from that thin string. i no longer see the beauty, the purity of something so hurtful. as i fall, i look beneath me. i realize the journey down really isnt that far, and before i know whats happened, i've hit the ground. lightly and on my feet. i smile, because i know its going to be alright. instead of falling, it was easy, a step ladder. i remember how tightly i had gripped that worthless string, and i laugh, it was useless to try and bring back the light, the fire that had died in our hearts. as i walk through the grass, and see the sun, i know it was only me that held on for this long, and i realize how futile my attempt was. im happy now, alone. im not afraid to walk through the dark, because i know theres a light somewhere, and i will find it. alone. its easier to grasp that, and its such a good feeling, warm, like the sun shining on you as you sit in the grass and dream. i reach my destination and smile as i lay down, putting my hand under my head. i dream, and instead of the fog and black, its filled with color, and life. the mirror has been shattered, and i see beyond the lie, to truth. i lay down and drift to sleep, nothing bleak, seeing nothing but the brightness in my future, and no strings tying me to this tattered world i had attached myself to. good night, sleep well my darling. i whispered to the beauty who realized she has found herself again.
