Generally: Fic and fandom stuff: public.
Other, more personal stuff: Sometimes friends only.

So if you'd like to add me, please comment here.

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Heroes:
( Sylar/ElleCollapse )

( Sylar/Elle/ClaireCollapse )

( Mohinder/ElleCollapse )

( Adam/ElleCollapse )

( Claire/ElleCollapse )

( The Haitian/ElleCollapse )

( Luke/ElleCollapse )

( Luke/Elle/SylarCollapse )

( Mohinder/EdenCollapse )

( Gretchen/ClaireCollapse )

( MiscCollapse )



Dollhouse:

( Echo/BoydCollapse )

Star Trex XI

( Spock/UhuraCollapse )

True Blood

( Jessica/HoytCollapse )

Veronica Mars
-Veronica/Logan-

( Veronica/LoganCollapse )

I really wanted 2017 to be at least better than 2016 (which is honestly setting the bar low) but my grandma has gone in the hospital twice and has ongoing heart issues, she got fired from her job, they're throwing her under the bus and spreading false rumors about her, my dental bridge broke, I have other health issues, I'm still trying to move and I just got laid off today by email.

I feel so low on spoons. I am in a constant state of high stress and anxiety and it's crashing into sadness and hopelessness. And I can't afford t see my therapist more than twice a month right now so that sucks.

I need to start studying for my exams in the spring soon but it's hard when all this shit keeps happening and I have to do so much and I just feel like I am constantly struggling to keep my head up above water.

Wow, have I really not updated this since August? Time flies. Needless to say, I'm in a much better place than I was then. The new medication seems to be helping (other than some random nasty side effects before figuring out the right dose for me) a lot and my therapist even said she thought I could go back down to every other week. Which is good. It's nice...to not be constantly feeling miserable. Like there's still a lot of things to be stressed about it at least feels like a stress I can manage.

I hadn't gone through that bad of a depressive episode in years but it's good to be on the other side of it. It's weird to look back in my journal and some of the things I wrote because it just feels very...removed? It's hard to explain. But it really is such a difference in how I feel. I think part of what helped too was being more transparent with the people around me of how I was feeling, I was really surprised by how much support I received, and how many people confined in me their own struggles as well, especially a lot of my classmates. It always helps to not feel alone, I guess.

I've been working at an afterschool program tutoring and teaching classes, it's not the kind of teaching I want to do long term but I don't need my masters finished for it and it's good experience to put on my resume. I'm glad I put off retaking my exams, ultimately, there's no way I would have been ready to take them this month.

I'm also looking to move out on my own soon -- assuming I can find a place I can afford that will also let me keep my dog. Which is proving tricky. I've put out feelers to see if anyone I know needs a roommate but so far, no luck. I'll just have to keep looking.

Random fannish stuff:

I went to Leakycon in October and it was one of the best fan experiences I've ever been into. So now I'm listening to Stephen Fry's audiobooks of Harry Potter because I hadn't listened to them before. I've missed Hogwarts. I am, however, really grossed out about the idea of Johnny Depp playing Grindewald in the Fantastic Beasts movies. Can't win them all, I guess.

Season 3 of From Dusk Till Dawn wasn't my favorite but overall still pretty enjoyable, and if that ends up being the finale of the series it could be worse.

I've been really enjoying The Good Place and No Tomorrow as far as new series this season go.

I feel bad I've been so busy I've missed everything with heroesrewatch so far but I still want to try to jump in. Idk why Sunday has been consistently such a busy day for me lately.

I need this election period to be done with and for a maniac to not be president at the end of it. I don't ask for much, really.

Also I fell down some stairs in Union Station the other day and sprained my ankle. I have all the clumsiness of a romcom protagonist with none of the meet cutes, I swear.

As I am one of the few people still on LJ I am clearly one of the people stainofmylove tagged for the 10 characters I would like to hug meme. I am going to try hard not to just repeat her meme but there's definitely going to be some crossover.

rules: post 10 characters I would hug then tag 10 blogs. Some of these are people I’d hug because they look like they give great hugs; others are people who really, really need more hugs (if they want them); some I just want to hug for various other reasons; there’s no special order

1. Scott McCall (Teen Wolf)
2. Tyler Lockwood (The Vampire Diaries)
3. Greg Serrano (Crazy Ex-Girlfriend)
4. Jane Villenueva (Jane the Virgin)
5. Annie Edison (Community)
6. Elliot Reid (Scrubs)
7. Lyla Garrity (Friday Night Lights)
8. Cassie Ainsworth (Skins)
9. Amy Raudenfeld (Faking It)
10. Freddie Gonzalez (From Dusk Til Dawn: The Series)

I also tag anyone who is still on LJ and feels like doing it.

my comprehensive exams are on thursday.

the stress and anxiety is real, you all.

It's been a long time since I've done like...a real update I guess. Life keeps happening in abundance. I have a boyfriend now! I am as surprised by this as anybody and it's meant for some life adjustments but I rather like him so I'm not really complaining or anything. I had been seeing him for a while before either one of us bothered to make it ~official~. Also I have never had anything on facebook get as much likes as changing my relationship status did. Like...82 likes or something. It was crazy.

I'm also getting close to the end of my MA program (2 quarters and my comprehensive exams left). And my academic career because I don't see myself going for a PhD any time soon. It's scary but also exciting? I look forward to starting teaching -- and maybe having time to write for fun again? I miss doing original or fan writing even. I just never have the time or energy for it anymore.

I watch a lot of things but I don't find myself as invested in things as I used to be? I don't know, I miss the strong fannish feelings I used to get. I keep waiting for the show that'll suck me back in. Like even in shows I like they aren't...idk that special something? It's hard to explain.

I haven't updated this thing in a while but David Bowie is dead and I don't know what to do with myself. I was raised on his music -- he was my mother's favorite artist -- I feel gutted by this news.

I wanted to be a hoax. The truth is much harder to deal with.