IDK why I’m thinking about this right now but I am. I’m thinking about how it takes experience and self-awareness to make a good case for yourself, bc you have to be aware of the skills and priorities that seem obviously necessary to you, but which actually make you stand out from other people.
Stereotypes again again
Like, here’s what would happen if I told people in my social circle that I “have Asperger’s”:
- “Of course you do, you’re a socially awkward geek. It’s ok, lots of us do, in fact probably all of us are at least a little bit like that. We’re all weird here.”
- I would find out if it’s possible to die of frustration.
If I told them “I’m autistic”, someone might ask. me. a. question. and we might maybe be able to have an actual conversation about sensory & language issues and why I’m “”socially awkward”” and all those things that it means so much to me to have people actually understand.
Out of energy
I did a lot of good work today and now my brain is done, apparently. Or like, mostly done.
There’s this thing where I feel totally fine until I actually try to do something that requires effort, and then suddenly everything is awful and background noise is deeply upsetting. And then I go back to reading my book and five minutes later I’m like “I feel fine, I could do some more work…” But no. I will feel exhausted again as soon as I start.
Sparkly don’t read
Draft from a while ago
It’s kind of amazing how strong my view of conversations as things to get through without embarrassing myself (as opposed to opportunities to actually communicate something) is. It’s taken (is taking) a lot of time and a lot of thought to change that habit.
Happy Food Things slash State of the Anxiety
I ate a handful of grated cheddar cheese today, because it looked good and I wanted to eat it, and it was good. I am having positive feelings about cheese. (And, semi-relatedly, about The Most Awesome Quesadillas Ever. I made a double batch today. My freezer is full of delicious things and I’m so happy.)
Continue reading “Happy Food Things slash State of the Anxiety”
Life update 4/1
I was productive today in terms of housework and cooking (and a little bit in terms of paid work) but I’m really failing at writing right now. I made a tiny bit of progress on each of three different posts, none of which are actually finished.
So:
I’m surrounded (well, on two sides) by sleeping cats.
I made some good wrap/sandwich things today.
Sparkly did a lot today, too. On top of work and classes, I drove Sparkly around so ey could do some paperwork errands (eir application for the bar exam is done and in the mail!) and now ey is studying.
Re: hyperflexibility
My favorite thing about vaccinations
because I’m tired and I happened to think of this. (Predictably) contains mentions of blood and needles.
Today I had to use the command line for something and the end result was actually successful!
And now I’m tired and Sparkly is listening to comedy, so that’s all I’ve got.
Some Open Space 