Just to let you guys know, I have a bit of a problem with using characters names too much. If anyone notices me doing that, please let me know. Oh, before I forget, if anyone wants me to post a journal entry describing the 2 main characters, I would be delighted to do that. Just so some of you can get a better idea of what James and Trevor look like, their characteristics. Again, if anyone sees any thing that looks like a error/mistake, please let me know :D I also use a different way of communication between the characters
At home, I go into my room and lock the door. I drop my bag onto the floor and put my iPod on my desk, leaving the music playing. "Holy shit." I say outloud. I hop onto my bed and lay there, looking back on the moment I had with James. Thinking back, I remember how beautiful James looked. I think back to the way his body looked. His muscles were wonderfully sculpted. They made
him look like a fucking god. The smell of his musk was another thing that got me off. I realized, simply thinking of James' body and smell, was getting me hard. I grin and say, "Hehe. Okie." I unbutton my pants and pull them down, along with my underwear, to my ankles. I see my cock is completely unsheathed, except for my knot. "Damn, I think I grew some." I close my eyes
and picture that moment when James flashed me his ass. I keep that image in my head as I slowly start to paw myself.
I then start to imagine spreading his buttcheeks apart and licking his hole. I start to paw off faster. I imagine rubbing James' hole with my cock. My tail curls up and I paw myself faster. I let out random noises and moans. Then, I imagine pushing my whole dick inside James. Listening to him howl . I paw off even quicker. I start blushing as I imagine turning James to where we are staring into each others eyes. I imagine grabbing his hips and fucking him like theres no tomorrow. I paw off faster, bumping my knot. "Ahh fuck!" I let out.
I finally imagine shoving my knot into James and cumming. I then squeeze my knot and let out a long howl as I start cumming. "AROOOOOOOOOOO!" I cum all over my body and on my face.
When I am done, I lay there, panting hard. After 1 minute, I finally get up and go take a shower. In the shower, I struggle to get the cum out of my fur. I can't get James off my mind. I am literally crazy about the kid. I already know me and James will end up together. But, I have to come up with a way to say that to him. When I get done showering, I go to my room and get some underwear on. I hear my phone beep. "Whos been calling me?" I grab my phone and notice I missed 3 calls from James. I quickly call him back and he answers right away.
James: "Finally! What were you doing?"
Me: "I was taking a shower."
James: "Hehe. Hey, I was wondering if you would like to do something tomorrow night."
Me: -exicited- "Yeah sure!"
James: "Ok! If you have something in mind, call me."
Me: "Alright! Talk to you then" -hangs up-
I gasp. "Oh my fucking god. I got it! I know how to tell James I wanna be with him!"
I hope you guys like this! I didn't really work as hard on this chapter, but still. Give me some feedback! =^.^=
Firstly, I'm going to start with what I negatively saw in this work. I like to end on a cheery note and getting all the negatives into the air first off tends to help that.
Unfortunately, the formatting of your story was rather bad. Dialogue runs completely into the sentences ahead of it without any break and it leads to me reading the entire work as one, massive sentence. I tend to speed-read things however, so this might be my problem. Nevertheless, I cannot stress how much cleaner the work will look and how more fluid it will be. There are various talented authors on the site that format very well. When I first started out writing, my very first story was formatted exactly like this, being very little breaks(It's still on the site if you'd like to read it and then laugh afterwards at how absurdly bad it is.) and it attributed to the work being hard to read. Just look for the more popular works and observe how the sentences and breaks are used.
Running your work through a proofreader would also help greatly as making the work more fluid. I've got the link of a nice one that I use, also giving you a link to an online thesaurus that is crucial to writing a nice novella or novel.
Thesaurus: http://thesaurus.com/
Proofreader: http://www.paperrater.com/
Using these should improve your work immensely. Format error and some grammatical errors were mainly the only problems I saw. Adding more length and some extra characters and plot will make the story event better.
I wish you the best of luck and if you ever need an opinion on something you're writing, feel free to message me.
~Nick