smartgem92

Ok...honestly....this is just to rant.
I don't care who reads this...
Just know I'm not going to explain anything.
I do NOT need any empty, sympathetic words.
Don't you dare try to make me feel better with any fluffy, sweet words.
i am royally pissed...
LET ME BE PISSED!

firstly...
i find myself quite pampered.
i have a relatively good family...
my friends are kickass...
i have absolutely no signs of any financial problems...
i'm not mentally ill...
i'm not physically inept...
my grades are tolerable...
i'm president of stage crew...
president of anime club...
girls' captain of fencing...
i've been nominated as one of the candidates for this year's Arts Awards...
i've had a boyfriend before...
i think i'm a pretty good friend...
i thought i have a pretty good sense of humor...
i'm responsible...
i'm not horrendously ugly...
sure, i can go on a diet, but i'm not THAT hideous...
my parents aren't divorced....
and they're still alive...
no one in my family has a terminal illness...
my parents usually pamper me...
and i'm not this narcissistic in real life!!!!

see this? i have a pretty damned good life.
so why does it feel like none of this matters right now?
i regret hiding that orb of light...
i regret trying to lock it all inside...
i regret...i regret so hard...
the goddamned light just turned itself into a dark hole...
it's sucking all my thoughts...
stripping me of my sanity....

lol. i'm laughing with tears...
it's not supposed to be...
but i laugh like something is hysterically humorous...
i wonder what's so goddamned funny?

i really should try to find that switch...
that switch to calm me down...
reality?
fantasy?
fantastical reality?
realistic fantasy?
i don't care which...
just take me from my pain...
and relocate me to a place far away from it...

hahahhahahahahaAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAH.

Aye~
I had a list of things I wanted to get done today.  ;__;  too bad I couldn't get through it all.
But I did manage to get some more prints done for animeNEXT.  woo~

I doubt that there's anyone who reads my entries...
but if there is, please help me out!

I want to know how many people would be interested in Yotsuba stuff.
Is Yotsuba&! popular?  ^^;;  I've been collecting the manga ever since volume one came out...
but I have no idea whether it's popular.
I, personally, think it's adorable and quite deep.
If you haven't heard of it, try it.  ^^

I would also like to know the popularity of Kamichama Karin (Chu), Paradise Kiss, Sugar Sugar Rune and Blood+.
Please help!!!  Thanks~

Yeah...it's currently 6:15 am...and i haven't gone to bed yet.  O.O
I was up all night, working on my website (which will debut soon enough).
I'm not a tech wiz, so I'm just doing my best with freewebs.  haha.
My eyes are IN PAIN!!!!!  AHHHH.  *laughs*  I don't even have the energy to try to be funny.  =_+


Well yeah...I'm getting reading for AnimeNEXT.  It's coming up real fast.
I have a table in the Artist Alley, so if you're gonna go to aNEXT, let me know!


Oh..and another thing about animeNEXT...I finally made a list of the cosplays I'm going to try to attempt.

1. Shia (Pita-Ten):
I HAVE to go as her.
You don't understand....
She was my 1st cosplay...
I'm so proud of it...
TT.TT  <---tears of joy

2. Princess Akira (Princess x Princess):
I already have the wig...
if anyone can give me some sewing tips...
I'd totally appreciate it.
OH!  and i need to find out where to get green contacts...

3. Nekozawa (Ouran High School Host Club):
This is an easy Cosplay, so I'm just using it as a fall-back cosplay.

4. Ciel Phantomhive (Kuroshitsuji):
Yes...I'm fully aware that this is a hard cosplay...
Again, please note the "attempt"

and finally...

5. KOREA (Hetalia):
XD Yes, I am Korean...
and yes, I saw the news broadcastings.
All the more reason to cosplay as him...
HE NEEDS MORE LOVIN'~  haha

-SmartGem

Hey y'all.  i'm new to LJ.
I'm really bad with keeping up with these things...so if i suddenly die, don't get alarmed.
I do, however, keep up with deviantart.

smartgem.deviantart.com

so if you want to check that out, please feel free to do so.  ^^