beautiful oblivion

things are too complicated and contradicting with her. the one thing i cant tolerate is disrespect. telling me to call her office line so that my name wont be reflected in her phone. i'd rather not call u anymore. asking me why i cant close one eye? cos tts not me! and tts not the life i want. saying that im so scary and tt i act crazy and tt it reminds her of the way i behaved in the past? well im never like this, and she's the cause of it. with such a messed up history tt we had together, i felt tt its so impt for us to build up trust with each other. i kept emphasizing but i guess its not tt impt to her. she said that shes scared of how crazy i can be, to the point where i cant control my emotions.

there are actually so many things about her that i noe i wont be happy with. shes selfish, she will never priorities me (even if she does, its just for a moment..)

i can never be myself around her cos i cant say out how i feel without her (maybe) getting mad at me. is this a relationship that i want?

truly enjoyed my bday and chinese new year. my dear has been really good to me. hope things will turn out for the better this year.

so true!

You Are An INFP

The Idealist You are creative with a great imagination, living in your own inner world. Open minded and accepting, you strive for harmony in your important relationships. It takes a long time for people to get to know you. You are hesitant to let people get close. But once you care for someone, you do everything you can to help them grow and develop. You would make an excellent writer, psychologist, or artist.

what i really want to do right now is get an mc, and take that time off to get a haircut. the past 3 days off didnt do me any good 'cos i was cooped up at home the whole time. yes what a lazy ass.

we'll see how it goes.

bored at home, so i started iconing all the pretty jared/jensen pics ive saved recently. and i might have changed my mind over who the hotter winchester bro is.



( this is gonna be like what, 600 years of bad luck?Collapse )

got supremely drunk last night, dont i ever learn my lesson? 7 of us headed to this pub Lollipop at Chinatown after work. opened a bottle of Chivas which is so easy to drink, i guess i went out of control. seeing how i drank on an empty stomach that probably made things worse. it was like that one time at Jarmz's place where i started crying after drinking one too many mixes. i felt i was letting out my deepest emotions but ive no idea what im sad about, i just am. my colleagues must have thought me crazy sobbing to myself.

later one of the guys and i took a cab down to meet our other colleagues for KTV at bishan. didnt go home 'cos i didnt want mummy worried. puked twice along the way and 3 more times when i got there. crashed on the couch and was so sick i couldnt stay up straight. only woke up when they were at their last couple of songs.

remind me never to drink this much again.

yay for 3 days leave. i should get a haircut, go for facial and get my eyebrows done.

hottie jared pade-something's in Cry Wolf, but nobody wants to see it with me 'cos they think it sucks. sigh.

morning! came in at 8:10am and since both 8am shifters didnt turn up to open the hotline, i had to log in early. but that means i get to go off at 5:40pm!

it's so not fun having to spend my sunday cooped up.. at work! 8am somemore. oh bother. breakfast was a can of coke light. i was going for kopi-si kosong, but all the shops are closed so..


how about a 100 questions meme to fill up my time? (nicked from andrealyn
( more.Collapse )

right, that took 3 hours. one more hour to lunch!